job problem

[tinav]

Hi all....

I have been at a new job for approx. 6 months. Since I have been there is one guy (small company only about 8 of us) who has been trying to get me to quit. He thinks that I took the job of someone who retired before they really wanted to and because I took the job the retirement had to be done. But really one of the bosses initiated the problem for the other person to retire.

But any way....I needed the job and got hired and tried to steer clear of the conversation about bashing the boss (who started the prob with the person who retired) and did my work and had a lot of work that I had to learn and still have a ton more of work that I have to learn.

But now the guy who was trying to get me to quit by trying to talk me into leaving is now being very nasty to me. He was pretty cold for a while (since the other person actually left) and it has now escalated to being nasty. I fear that if I do not tell my boss about this guy, and that he is being nasty, that things will only get worse. And when I do tell him I feel that I will have to do what I did not want to do and that is tell him how this guy was bashing him (the boss) like crazy and that I tried to avoid this type of talk and that he is now nasty to me because of this. My boss knows that he is being blamed for this person leaving but he does not know the full story about what this guy is doing to me and how he has bashed him continually to me and others. I just hope the boss believes me and doesn't get mad at me.

Kinda scary.....any advise.

Thanks in advance.
Tina

[Deb1]

Tough situation! I had a similar problem at one of my jobs and feel for you. Do what you need to do and if it comes to talking to your boss, so be it. I actually walked out of that job because the stress was not worth it! I later went back, by request by my boss, as she knew who was the problem and that person was fired. Best luck!

[tinav]

Originally Posted by Deb1

Tough situation! I had a similar problem at one of my jobs and feel for you. Do what you need to do and if it comes to talking to your boss, so be it. I actually walked out of that job because the stress was not worth it! I later went back, by request by my boss, as she knew who was the problem and that person was fired. Best luck!

Yes I feel that even if things do come to the worse at least my boss will know what this guy is doing behind his back...and if he does not mind then there is never going to be any thing I will be able to do about this guy except fight him on my own and I would do that only as my last and final resort.

Thanks and YEEEAAAHHH!!!!! to you

Tina

[Auntjen]

I have a friend who is a therapist,and tell me that being polite and direct and restateing what you view as occurring is like cryptonite to a lot of these folks. Example " excuse me joe, I've noticed you seem to be quite angry. Are you angry at me because I needed this job and was hired by ( boss)? 9 out of ten in my experience back down when done assertively but not aggressively. Unless what you mean by " nasty" is over the top. If he is verbally abusive, belittles you, or menaces IMHO it is time to take action and also document every occurance with a notebook dated and time and details in case thiscguycgets fired and drags you into a wrongfully termination suit. Excuse typos my iPod autocorrects.

[Marhcarter]

Is there anyone else at this job who will have your back and possibly be an asset to have in a conversation with the boss? I find that having a witness to conversations is generally a good idea in case things go south. I would also not try having a conversation with the instigator without someone else present. Protect yourself first. You don't want retaliation and a witness can help prevent that or give you a legal "leg to stand on" in case of such.
I hate that you are having these issues. A back-stabber is very difficult to ignore. The boss needs to know what this person is saying about him, even if it feels like "tattling", which is why the witness/back up person is important.

[LunasMomma]

Start documenting the harassment. When you have a couple of weeks worth of stuff, take it to the boss. If he does nothing, he is fostering a hostile work environment and can get in big trouble. Just be careful to stay objective, stating only the facts and leave emotion out of it. If you can get anyone else on board, that would help tremendously. I'm sure there are others that are sick of his attitude!

Good luck

[tinav]

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

Start documenting the harassment. When you have a couple of weeks worth of stuff, take it to the boss. If he does nothing, he is fostering a hostile work environment and can get in big trouble. Just be careful to stay objective, stating only the facts and leave emotion out of it. If you can get anyone else on board, that would help tremendously. I'm sure there are others that are sick of his attitude!

Good luck

No he is there 20years and the one other lady is there 30years they are tight as thieves...and the other 2 women are also under his influence cause of the other lady who was there 30years and retired. It is a Sh@*&y situation. I keep pretty much to myself "mostly " cause of the amount of work I have....except for working with others....do not have any kind of work that I have to do with this creep. He has only really verbalized a nasty attitude to me once although he has been pretty cold and stand offish in compared to his interactions with others. The stand offish I can tolerate but now that he got wise verbally he is on shaky ground with me and it is time to take it to the boss. If as you say the boss thinks nothing of it or does not want to get involved then it is the boss who is fostering the bad work environment and that also could be possible. They need me most now (busy season) and I will change jobs quickly if I do not get any support and understanding in this.

I say the boss has got to be told and if he doesn't want to hear it I go to plan B which is leave asap and let this be his problem as far as the work goes also.

I don't see any law suite in this as he is the one who is doing the harm to me and his self...and I doubt they will fire him....but maybe he IS next in line and that is why he is so cold and nasty????? Who can say...just gotta look out for me...got no crystal ball.

Thanks to all of you for your help
Tina

[tinav]

Originally Posted by Marhcarter

Is there anyone else at this job who will have your back and possibly be an asset to have in a conversation with the boss? I find that having a witness to conversations is generally a good idea in case things go south. I would also not try having a conversation with the instigator without someone else present. Protect yourself first. You don't want retaliation and a witness can help prevent that or give you a legal "leg to stand on" in case of such.
I hate that you are having these issues. A back-stabber is very difficult to ignore. The boss needs to know what this person is saying about him, even if it feels like "tattling", which is why the witness/back up person is important.

No witnesses. Small office thick as thieves. I am the new guy and the one who is being harassed but never saw it that way...just tried to work hard to please the bosses and keep my job. One of the bosses was very unkind to me for a while and the other boss (the one who I am going to talk to) told me not to get mad at the boss giving me a bad time that he is mad at the boss that I am going to talk to and not at me. But after a couple of months of that, I say that is baloney and I will not tolerate abuse from anyone gain.
Not the boss or this creep. The people who are not being abused don't care they are just glad they are not having any problems.

I am on my own....
Tina

[crystalsmom]

I'd say don't go into the boss until you can give him your walking papers. This guy wants you to go into the boss and he knows how the boss will react.

Start looking for another position and just ignore him like he is not around and don't talk to him unless it is job related.
You will never be happy in this position so why put it off. jmo

[tinav]

Originally Posted by crystalsmom

I'd say don't go into the boss until you can give him your walking papers. This guy wants you to go into the boss and he knows how the boss will react.

Start looking for another position and just ignore him like he is not around and don't talk to him unless it is job related.
You will never be happy in this position so why put it off. jmo

This is a refreshing thought...I am looking for another job....but I do have some friends who want me to fight it out (stick it out) so that my commute is nice and close to home. But I see I am very unhappy here and it is getting worse I think.

I am a little on the fence about going into the boss ....that is why I asked for advise. In other situations I usually don't let anything get in the way of my goals.....so why now. Guess cause it is full time..
I usually work 3 days at one place and 2 at another.

well we will see how things work out. will up date you as we move forward.

thanks
tina

[crystalsmom]

Originally Posted by tinav

This is a refreshing thought...I am looking for another job....but I do have some friends who want me to fight it out (stick it out) so that my commute is nice and close to home. But I see I am very unhappy here and it is getting worse I think.

I am a little on the fence about going into the boss ....that is why I asked for advise. In other situations I usually don't let anything get in the way of my goals.....so why now. Guess cause it is full time..
I usually work 3 days at one place and 2 at another.

well we will see how things work out. will up date you as we move forward.

thanks
tina

Hon, you are living through it and I am not and you know best, it's just I've seen things happen like this and it is so hard on the new person, I would just hate to see you have to go through it for long. Full time is hard to find so maybe trying to work it out might be the answer. You know men, tell him he's handsome just once and that might do it and then go around being your efficient self. lol

[tinav]

Originally Posted by crystalsmom

Hon, you are living through it and I am not and you know best, it's just I've seen things happen like this and it is so hard on the new person, I would just hate to see you have to go through it for long. Full time is hard to find so maybe trying to work it out might be the answer. You know men, tell him he's handsome just once and that might do it and then go around being your efficient self. lol

I get your drift but NO WAY...tried the nice approach he is too weird. he says he has a girlfriend...she supposedly lives approx. 30 miles away from where he lives to me that is too far for a real relationship for a guy of his age. she might be some kind of friend or relative cause he show pics of her daughters etc. to me if they were really in a relationship he would do the manly thing and move in with her. too weird, can not relate to him besides he is a total bore....always trying to argue what he heard on the news first thing in the morning.....bore, bore bore. no complements....don't want him around.
tina

[tinav]

Originally Posted by crystalsmom

Hon, you are living through it and I am not and you know best, it's just I've seen things happen like this and it is so hard on the new person, I would just hate to see you have to go through it for long. Full time is hard to find so maybe trying to work it out might be the answer. You know men, tell him he's handsome just once and that might do it and then go around being your efficient self. lol

I tried the lighter side of things...he is just weird....too much baggage...when talks to me his back is always to me or his face turns beet red....not a normal guy.

[crystalsmom]

Oh my gosh he is weird, run for the hills or at least the other office.

[tinav]

Originally Posted by crystalsmom

Oh my gosh he is weird, run for the hills or at least the other office.

lol

tina