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12-30-2005, 02:30 PM | #1 |
Monte, Mone't's Joy! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: MD
Posts: 3,009
| Sexist Humor.... The Differences Between Men And Women NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless. DINING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators. BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10- items-or-less lane. SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals. LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style." OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
__________________ "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."!! Mone't Mom 2 Monte |
Welcome Guest! | |
12-30-2005, 02:43 PM | #2 |
YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Indiana
Posts: 312
| haha, that is so funny LOL!! I would say most of it is soo true, MY husband actually loves wearing suits, he is usually the one to pull out the calculator and he actually does all the laundry haha ( I have trained him well) |
12-30-2005, 03:16 PM | #3 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,022
| Well Miss Monet...I only have 1 comment... there are aisles for 10 or less at the grocery store?
__________________ Max and Milos Dad! |
12-30-2005, 04:16 PM | #4 |
Delilah's Momma Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,406
| LOL and they are so true! Except that cat part. I find that men usually won't show affection to cats when other people are around, but I always seem to walk in on them when they're cuddling with one. This happened when my grandpa was over for Christmas, and when I caught him he said "I was just strangling the cat." LOL. Right.
__________________ Delilah loves Boss! Macey 12/18/04-12/05/05 |
12-30-2005, 06:26 PM | #6 | |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,432
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12-30-2005, 06:28 PM | #7 | |
Monte, Mone't's Joy! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: MD
Posts: 3,009
| Quote:
__________________ "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."!! Mone't Mom 2 Monte | |
12-30-2005, 06:51 PM | #8 |
Love my Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: New Port Richey, Florida
Posts: 2,339
| Some so very true, but I don't really like cats either!!!
__________________ Karen~ Bell, Lilly and Peter's Mom Rest in Peace <3 |
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