did she do the right thing??

[jmdt]

My 16 yr old daughter works at a day camp for the summer. This is her 1st summer. She has 4yr olds. There are 3 girls in the room and 10 kids. Anyway..she had to go to training before camp started and one of the days was dedicated to child abuse.

On this past Wednesday she noticed on one of the boys back there was all bruises. Now she has helped this boy before get his shirt on after pool time and such and never noticed any bruising. She was shocked and lightly asked him if they hurt, he said no. She asked him if someone hit im at the camp, like another child, he said no. She asked him if his mom hit him..he said yes. She just fluffed it off and said to him to put his socks on and she will help him tie his shoes. She basically changed the subject.

Now, as she was instructed, she told her immediate supervisor who is about 18 She said oh we can't jump to conclusions. When the kids mother came to pick him up the girl that puts the child in the car just tells the mom that he has bruises on his back and wanted to let her know that it didn't happen at camp. The mom told the girl that he has Mongolian Blue Spots. (would have been nice if she told the camp that) and that was the end of it.

Ok just now I get a text from my dd and she said that she just had her evaluation and they have a scale from 1-10 ..1 bad, 10 good. She got all 9's except for the issue with this kid..she got a 7. They told her that she handled it in an unprofessional manner and she should not have asked the kid any questions. She told them that she did what she was told to do in the training. So now she is upset because she did what she was told to do and she got a low grade for it.

Did she do the right thing?? I don't know.

[horsnaround]

I think it was right to ask the child that question You never know when you may save a life I would have given her a 10 for noticing. But in todays world you have to be so careful. And if the mom was upset oh boy.

[Bentleys Momma]

I think your daughter did exactly what she was supposed to do. Sadly the camp did not. Without "Mongolian Blue Spots" noted on a medical form prior to admission, I believe the camp is legally bound to report the possible abuse to the authorities for investigation.

I am not saying the child is abused just that I believe, based on some prior trainings that I have had with working with children, that it is a legal requirement.

Definitely puts your daughter in an awkward situation and she should never have been judged at a lower level for expressing her concern. What about if she comes across another child who IS being abused and your daughter now hesitates to report a concern out of fear of retaliation on her performance review.

Very sad and says a lot about the camp she where she is working. Not a place I would want my child. More concern over CYA (covering your own a$$ than protecting a child).

Best of luck to you. I would probably rip the camp director a new one if it were my child working there. And then of course my daughter would be embarrased by her momma yet again

[jmdt]

Originally Posted by Bentleys Momma

I think your daughter did exactly what she was supposed to do. Sadly the camp did not. Without "Mongolian Blue Spots" noted on a medical form prior to admission, I believe the camp is legally bound to report the possible abuse to the authorities for investigation.

I am not saying the child is abused just that I believe, based on some prior trainings that I have had with working with children, that it is a legal requirement.

Definitely puts your daughter in an awkward situation and she should never have been judged at a lower level for expressing her concern. What about if she comes across another child who IS being abused and your daughter now hesitates to report a concern out of fear of retaliation on her performance review.

Very sad and says a lot about the camp she where she is working. Not a place I would want my child. More concern over CYA (covering your own a$$ than protecting a child).

Best of luck to you. I would probably rip the camp director a new one if it were my child working there. And then of course my daughter would be embarrased by her momma yet again

I know it puts me, the mama, is an awkward position. She also had been telling me about this other little boy who comes in dirty. His hair is just so greasy. It looks like he just came out a pool but they didn't go in yet. He is barely potty trained and every time he goes into the bathroom it is just a disaster in there. He pees all over the floor, wall, seat. Yesterday he went in to poop and it was on the floor all over his legs and bottom. Poor kid. She can't touch him to wipe him so she just hands him toilet paper and he has to keep trying. She also tells me that she doesn't think he can hear too well. He has to be looking at you to know your talking to him. She senses something is wrong. I don't know she is with these kids from 9am til 4pm. She knows what's what you know. He was sent home with a change of clothes from the "lost and found" which never came back. The next time there was a pair of sweatpants, also from the lost and found, they put on him, no underwear. They asked the mother to send in clothes, and return the other clothes... and still nothing. They say she is a b*tch. She is well manicured and has perfect clothes and hair. My daughter is really upset but she feels her hands are tied.
They tell her oh your only 16 and you don't know so they say they understand she's young. WHAT??? I don't understand.

I mean I have a 12 yr old too so she has younger kid experience ya know. If he has a bruise on him she asks, hey where did you get that bruise. He will say he fell or something. It is just natural to ask if you see a bruise.

[SpArKyOfCaLi]

I think your DD did the right thing and the camp does not sound too good to take care of kids.

[bellababy08]

I think she did the right thing and was very professional about it for a 16 yr old...I had to look back at her age to make sure I seen it right cause it was so professional of her. You must be VERY proud!

[bellababy08]

Originally Posted by jmdt

I know it puts me, the mama, is an awkward position. She also had been telling me about this other little boy who comes in dirty. His hair is just so greasy. It looks like he just came out a pool but they didn't go in yet. He is barely potty trained and every time he goes into the bathroom it is just a disaster in there. He pees all over the floor, wall, seat. Yesterday he went in to poop and it was on the floor all over his legs and bottom. Poor kid. She can't touch him to wipe him so she just hands him toilet paper and he has to keep trying. She also tells me that she doesn't think he can hear too well. He has to be looking at you to know your talking to him. She senses something is wrong. I don't know she is with these kids from 9am til 4pm. She knows what's what you know. He was sent home with a change of clothes from the "lost and found" which never came back. The next time there was a pair of sweatpants, also from the lost and found, they put on him, no underwear. They asked the mother to send in clothes, and return the other clothes... and still nothing. They say she is a b*tch. She is well manicured and has perfect clothes and hair. My daughter is really upset but she feels her hands are tied.
They tell her oh your only 16 and you don't know so they say they understand she's young. WHAT??? I don't understand.

I mean I have a 12 yr old too so she has younger kid experience ya know. If he has a bruise on him she asks, hey where did you get that bruise. He will say he fell or something. It is just natural to ask if you see a bruise.

I'm not understanding why she can't clean him? I mean he is a 4 yr old, they need help.

[jmdt]

Originally Posted by bellababy08

I'm not understanding why she can't clean him? I mean he is a 4 yr old, they need help.

I know, I mean I had 4- 4yr olds. ..They are not allowed to touch the kids. They HAVE to be potty trained to go to this camp. I don't understand it either. Poor kids. He is standing there with his pants around his ankles and he is asking for help and she is not allowed to do it. She just keeps handing him toilet paper. It's frustrating.

[susan lynn]

Originally Posted by bellababy08

I'm not understanding why she can't clean him? I mean he is a 4 yr old, they need help.

Probably not allowed to clean him because now a days, some people want to say someone molested their child. You also don't want to be alone with a child. I am not sure if your daughter should have asked questions. probably should have reported it to an adult supervisor. The parent would be required to give this information if the child is in school. I work in the lunchroom of an public elementary school. We are not allowed to hug the children or ask questions about signs of abuse, if we suspect anything we have to report it to the counselors and they will investigate. We have children in our school that have similar problems as the 4 year old but schools are only allowed to do so much. It is a shame the way some children have to live these days. These are tough things for a 16 year old to deal with.

[jmdt]

Yeah she is getting a real life education. Your right they can't be alone with them, no hugging, nothing.
I was thinking the same thing you did. Maybe she should have just not said anything to the kid. She probably should have just told her supervisor. But for her to get a 7 on her evaluation for that is ridiculous. jmo

[bellababy08]

I had 3, 4 yr olds...all potty trained but when it came to pooping I had to help them, make sure they got clean down there...so they weren't smelly, itchy and got no rash...its called personal hygiene...that poor baby boy...thats crazy.

and people wonder why our kids get so sick when we send them to school or day camp/daycare....cause they aren't allowed to touch them/help.

[DvlshAngel985]

I think your daughter did the right thing. I've been volunteering with children since I was 13, and I've been working with little ones for the past 7 years. It's harder when you are young to be taken seriously. Your daughter spends a lot of time with these children. They know her and feel comfortable with her. The way she asked the child about the bruises is exactly what I would have done. 4 year olds are brutally honest. They also have a short attention span, so changing the subject immediately was good for the child. You don't want to make a big deal about it at the moment. your daughter needed to know if it was another child who hit him. It is her job to keep the child safe while he is there at the camp.

My question would be, who spoke to the parent and how did they approach them? Did hey start off by accusing them? That might have been where thugs went wrong.

[bellababy08]

Originally Posted by susan lynn

Probably not allowed to clean him because now a days, some people want to say someone molested their child. You also don't want to be alone with a child. I am not sure if your daughter should have asked questions. probably should have reported it to an adult supervisor. The parent would be required to give this information if the child is in school. I work in the lunchroom of an public elementary school. We are not allowed to hug the children or ask questions about signs of abuse, if we suspect anything we have to report it to the counselors and they will investigate. We have children in our school that have similar problems as the 4 year old but schools are only allowed to do so much. It is a shame the way some children have to live these days. These are tough things for a 16 year old to deal with.

Very true, Your right about that!

[bellababy08]

Originally Posted by susan lynn

Probably not allowed to clean him because now a days, some people want to say someone molested their child. You also don't want to be alone with a child. I am not sure if your daughter should have asked questions. probably should have reported it to an adult supervisor. The parent would be required to give this information if the child is in school. I work in the lunchroom of an public elementary school. We are not allowed to hug the children or ask questions about signs of abuse, if we suspect anything we have to report it to the counselors and they will investigate. We have children in our school that have similar problems as the 4 year old but schools are only allowed to do so much. It is a shame the way some children have to live these days. These are tough things for a 16 year old to deal with.

Very true, Your right about that!

[Lil Sis]

Originally Posted by Bentleys Momma

I think your daughter did exactly what she was supposed to do. Sadly the camp did not. Without "Mongolian Blue Spots" noted on a medical form prior to admission, I believe the camp is legally bound to report the possible abuse to the authorities for investigation.

I am not saying the child is abused just that I believe, based on some prior trainings that I have had with working with children, that it is a legal requirement.

Definitely puts your daughter in an awkward situation and she should never have been judged at a lower level for expressing her concern. What about if she comes across another child who IS being abused and your daughter now hesitates to report a concern out of fear of retaliation on her performance review.

Very sad and says a lot about the camp she where she is working. Not a place I would want my child. More concern over CYA (covering your own a$$ than protecting a child).

Best of luck to you. I would probably rip the camp director a new one if it were my child working there. And then of course my daughter would be embarrased by her momma yet again

I agree, the camp is wrong. Of course I only know Florida law but my degree and training is early childhood development. I used to teach the classes on detecting abuse at the local jr. college required to work in any child care/ day care.
The law here states that the person who thinks there is abuse must report the abuse. Do not report to a supervisor. The theory is the more times the "story" is told it will change or be influenced. Like the kid ssupervisor telling your daughter don't worry. She was wrong, not your daughter!!!!

I would question talking to the mother, she could have made up any story to cover her a$$. I much rather make a mistake reporting abuse than sending a child home to be abused more. I love that your daughter cares.. some people just dont!!

As to the other child, the negelct sounds like another version of child abuse. If I was you daughter I would report that-- she could even make the call from home so the camp does not know. Let the child services check out the home... maybe it will scare the mom into doing laundry!!!

Your daughter is a minor, I wouldn't ripe the camp a new a$$... not my style so I am not too good at that, but I would talk to them.. it is your child. It was the camps place to train her, and her supervisor to guide her.

Tell her I am proud of her from me...
Shinja