|
Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us. |
|
| LinkBack | Thread Tools |
03-04-2011, 10:22 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,213
| Empty nest suggestions? Hi all, So yesterday I watched old home videos as part of making a senior video for my son. It left me in a sobbing heap, certain that I will forever be sad. Intellectually, I know I will adjust. My daughter left for college in Fall '09, and while I practically had a breakdown, I eventually did fine. BUT, now my nest will truly be empty of human children. And, I've been a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. Now what? I thought maybe some of you YTers would have good advice, stories, thoughts? I'd love to hear them. Thank you, ahead of time. (I'm guessing this will help more than just me?)
__________________ Jen and Zoe Last edited by Jinger; 03-04-2011 at 10:23 AM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
03-04-2011, 10:29 AM | #2 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Knoxville,Tennessee
Posts: 3,073
| Get more dogs. I have 4! get a hobby or a part time job to help ease away lonliness. My dtr lives next door but I still went through the depression of empty nest syndrome.
__________________ PAWPRINTS AND DOG HAIR ENHANCE MY PERSONAL STYLE. |
03-04-2011, 11:29 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,213
| Johnna--I have 4, too! Zoe, our yorkie, was the canine equivalent of an "oops" I was thinking 3 was too many just prior to her arrival (courtesy of my college-aged daughter). Now we are, of course, head over heels for Zoe, but my husband would think I'd gone 'round the bend if there were more.
__________________ Jen and Zoe |
03-04-2011, 11:37 AM | #4 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Where the deer and the antelope play
Posts: 7,069
| It is tough! My youngest left for college last fall. She is not really that far away and comes home often. My DH works evenings, so now it is just me and the girls (dogs) in the evenings. So far, I have done ok. I love to do crafty things and scrapbook so I have been catching up on some of that. But, I think in time, I will get a little tired of that too. I definitely want to get involved with some type of community service for animals or children. I just need to figure out what/where. I have a background in animal science/health care, so I am really considering rescue work or fostering. But, I am afraid my empty nest syndrome will turn into animal hoarding. I am kind of a loner so stepping out to meet new people has always been difficult for me. I do work during the day, so at least I do get out for that.
__________________ Shelly and the girls Moka Mylee |
03-04-2011, 11:52 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Michigan USA & Sheffield UK
Posts: 4,119
| empty-nester here too! My daughter went away to college in fall 08, my son in fall 10, and my last yorkie passed away my daughter's senior year in H.S. This past fall was my first time living alone ever. I truely enjoyed the first semester. I went out to dinner, shopping, movies, etc. with friends whenever I wanted, drove out to visit my kids some weekends, but I didn't have to answer to anyone, be home for anyone, take care of anyone but me After a couple of months, I hated it My kids decided I needed another yorkie. They were gonna surprise me with one for Christmas, but then decided they should probably talk to me about it first & make sure I wanted another one. We talked over Christmas break & I thought about it and decided yes! They presented me with ZoE in January of this year. I don't know what I was thinking going so long without another yorkie. ZoE is such a lil bundle of love, I can't stand to be without her. I literally take her everywhere, other than to work, with me...dinner, shopping...& yes..even movies
__________________ Karan & ZoE (Chelsea ) |
03-04-2011, 11:54 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| I had a rough time when my youngest left for college this fall. I lost my husband to cancer Sep 08 so I truly have an empty nest except for my pups. In fact part of my coping stategy was to add another yorkie pup! That is where my little Annie came in the picture. Be careful to watch for signs of depression so you can change course and head it off before it can take hold. I think I sunk a bit, but am pulling back out of it. All fall I kept pretty busy going to all my son's football games. Roadtrips! Then the holidays came and Dustin was home for Christmas break. After that I planned a trip to Virginia to see my oldest & his family and then to youngest's college for Family Weekend. Back home for surgery on my elbow (ulnar nerve entrapment) and that brings me up to date. When I get some of this splint/wrapping off and my hand starts working again, I have 3 --half-finished afghans that need finishing. Love crocheting! I was working on them until my hand pretty much went useless. I also paint -- used to give lessons thru the Adult Education program here and before that in my home. I have thought of getting back to that (just the painting, no more giving classes) or maybe even taking some classes myself (like water color for instance). Then, I want to travel more, so I am planning at least 1-2 trips a year. If money holds up, I plan to stay as busy as this old body will let me. Still, I long for the days kids were in and out of our home all the time, all their sports and most of all sharing every day with my DH. Miss him so very nuch. But I intend to see him again!
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard |
03-04-2011, 01:53 PM | #7 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,213
| Quote:
__________________ Jen and Zoe Last edited by Jinger; 03-04-2011 at 01:57 PM. | |
03-04-2011, 01:57 PM | #8 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,213
| Quote:
(I don't know how to quote just a few lines of a post, so sorry I have to keep quoting the whole thing...) It's fun that we both have Zoe(E)s Tell me about the capital E on yours? We just got Zoe in December, and I cannot believe how sweet and wonderful she is! I love, love, love her! When you take ZoE places, how do you carry her? Especially when it's dinner, movies or anywhere they have food? How do you handle potty times when she's along?
__________________ Jen and Zoe | |
03-04-2011, 02:01 PM | #9 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,213
| Quote:
It's good you do so many things! And, that you get to enjoy Yorkie Love. I started knitting last summer, as I had many surgeries last year and needed to pass my time in a new way. I LOVE it! In fact, I just started a new afghan day before yesterday. I call this my "year of the afghan" as I'm hoping to give family afghans for Christmas this year.
__________________ Jen and Zoe | |
03-04-2011, 02:49 PM | #10 | |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Michigan USA & Sheffield UK
Posts: 4,119
| Quote:
My 20 yr old daughter has been an EMINƎM fan since she in elementary school and just happened to find my pup with a breeder located on "Eight Mile Road" near her University. So she named her ZoƎ ...flipping the "E" around takes too much work on the puter so I go with ZoE I have a Kwigy Bo Alex bag that offers total concealment and looks just like a regular purse...so no one knows she is in there She is so used to being in there that she doesn't make a peep...I just have a wiggly purse sometimes At the movies, I wait until about 10 mins into the actual movie & take her out & put her on my lap & drape my coat over her..she just snuggles & sleeps cos it's dark. ZoE is pee pad trained & will pee on the pad anywhere. I can set a pad down on the floor of my car, a bathroom floor, my kids dorm room floor, etc., and she'll go potty on it.
__________________ Karan & ZoE (Chelsea ) | |
03-04-2011, 03:14 PM | #11 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | Well, my nest has always been empty by choice, so I can't offer advice on adjusting to your youngest going away to school. But there are so many things you can do, there just isn't enough time in the day. What appeals to you? You mentioned knitting... there are lots of other fiber arts that might interest you - spinning, weaving, crochet, felting, sewing, embroidery... You can probably find a local guild where you can meet like-minded people and be exposed to all the wonderful possibilities. Check with your city recreation department -- and near by cities' as well. I've taken sterling silver jewelry making, ballroom dancing (that's where I met George!), dog training, and a lot of other classes through mine. Then there's gardening, painting, swimming, biking, you name it! There are so many things I want to do, I wish I could retire right now. I'm possibly the most shy person on earth, but it's so easy to get to know other people when you take a class or join a club with people who share your interests. We did have a guest suite and single guest room at our house for use by the nieces and nephews when they were in town. Got tired of looking at empty guest rooms, so I turned the suite into my fiber arts studio and library, and the room into our computer room/office. Kept one bed and got a daybed, so we can still have guests when we like, but I'm enjoying all my space now. |
03-04-2011, 05:27 PM | #12 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Katy, Texas USA
Posts: 1,458
| Enjoy it. It seems like they don't go far or for very long. I like not cooking every night or trying to get them every where they need to go. But mine moved out nine years ago so I'm used to it. I do talk to her almost every day and we text several times a day. It was rough at first but I soon figured out she would always want/need me me.
__________________ Jeanie, mom to Buster and Maggie |
03-04-2011, 05:34 PM | #13 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,132
| Quote:
I talk to my two daughters ALL the time. They are never a further than a heartbeat away and they both are out of State. I am sure being a mother you have cried...and from the pit of your soul..it can take your breath away. They Love you with all their heart. They have mine........and yours. Last edited by babbsiam44; 03-04-2011 at 05:39 PM. | |
03-04-2011, 06:40 PM | #14 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I volunteer at the local no kill shelter once a week and joined the park district health club and go to exercise classes 4 times a week. Also, since my dtr moved out it seems I do more for her than when she lived here! lol It is an adjustment but you get use to it.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
03-05-2011, 05:18 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Mt. Sinai, New York
Posts: 910
| You just have to think to yourself that all this is temperary. Life changes from day to day. You never know what will be presented to you. My story is a little unusual........ we married young and had our first when I was 18. Shockingly to me, he is turning 30 next week. My daughter came along a couple of years later. So by the time I was 32 I was going through, I guess you can say empty nest...... only because I was feeling that my 14 year old and 12 year old didn't need me. So we had our third. When my first son went away to college, I kind of felt that it was his time and he was so independent, I felt totally comfortable....... but a couple of years later when my daughter was going away, I was a total mess. I went through the worst depression. I felt that I didn't have the type of relationship and closeness that I wanted to have with my daughter, and was afraid that I was going to have with her a relationship that I have with my mother - love - out of obligation. Well that passed (thank God), and a few years later, when I was 42, God blessed us with a little surprise. So now, we have 4 kids (all with the same husband) where my oldest has 23 years difference with his younger sister. My two older ones have sinced married, and my daughter has blessed us with a grandaughter, and is now pregnant with her second. So, enjoy your free time now. Make lunch dates, go shopping, take trips, romantic dinners, whatever interests you, because you never know what life brings you tomorrow - and that free time you have now, will once again be longed for.
__________________ Cally Coco & Beckham |
Bookmarks |
|
|
| |
|
|
SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart