I am in tears!

[orinskye]

I am in tears right now... as i posted earlier i got accepted into teh teacher credential program, but which program i will eventually take depended on my fiance. I want to do an internship, but my fiance doesnt make enough to support us during the time i will be full time in the classroom, we were holding out for him to get a salary position which will make the internship possible...
My fiance and i talked abotu it today and i really really wanted to cry right then and there, but i held it in until he left for work. . . Apparantly the one position that he applied for someone else applied for as well.... someone who is "in good" with the district manager and the manager at that particular theater. So chances are he wont get it. There are a few other positions opening at the theater my fiance works at now: but not immediatly. I need to let the admissions know my decision like YESTERDAY. If my fiance was given some guarantee (in writing) that he would be made a salary manager by february we would be ok and i would feel confident in taking the internship.
Ok, so far you have figured out that my decision here doesnt mean crap. My fiance is the one holding all the cards. and i am NOT ok with this. From a young child i have been extremely independant and to have my future ride on teh decision/action/outcome of someone else is killing me. I feel that if i were in his shoes i would be more assertive and talk with his manager abotu his future prospects ect... much more: if i were in his shoes i feel that i would have ALLREADY GOTTEN A SALARY POSITION A LONG TIME AGO. . . It is frustrating to me because these people treat him like a doormat that they can walk all over. . . He has been with the theater for five years and has been passed over for promotion more times than i can count. Last time they gave the position to a guy that is unqualified (can not close box office, can not do A LOT OF THINGS that he should be able to do... and my fiance does these things but he got passed up )... now back to my point, our future rides on my fiance getting this job and with past events it seems utterly hopeless. I'm sorry, i just feel so lost this is something that i really want (that i need) and it is not up to me. I cant help but feel bad that i blame my fiance for not being assertive enough, or not trying hard enough, ect.

[christelnpeawee]

I wish I could be of some help but I will pray for you and the hard decision that you are going to have to make.

[Marie]

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that things work out for you. We are here when you need to vent. Gucci send kisses and hugs.

[YorkieShadow]

awww Im so sorry for you. Try not to be so hard on your self and hubby . Maybe he is trying. Im sending postive thoughts to you and I hope it all works out for you.Good Luck.

[red98vett]

I'm sort of in the same postition as you - I've always been independant too - we can't force someone to be who we want and we have to accept them as they are and just go with the flow - sometimes it is just HARD WORK....but in your fiance's case it sounds like he's trying and other factors are in the way...maybe he should look somewhere else to work ? Do you think he needs a change of job in order to move forward ? Many times we WANT to make a change but the first step is the hardest....

I wish you all the luck I can send your way and hope things get better

[Snow Yorkies]

A very tuff situation, so sorry... But being the independant person that I am, I have never sat well with anyone telling me, NO.... I have always been one "that if there is a will there is a way". This is a suggestion, is there anyway you could work a part-time job to supplement income until he can get a promotion???? I know this would be very hard on you in the classroom all day then a part-time job. But as a single mother for years I have been known to work 2 and 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet. I don't know your situation, nor can I pretend to know, like I said it is a suggestion.

[yorkieangel]

Wow.. being independent I would think you would not base your future on somebody elses accompishments. I'm sure you could get something at least part time to make ends meet. I know my sister was a single Mom(widowed) with 2 kids and pregnant and was going to school full time plus working a job on weekends on 12 hour shifts. She was really busting butt but she WANTED to be a RN and now she is with a GOOD job.

[mustangbee]

I wish you all the best. I really hope things work out for you.

[troubletb]

Wow, I'm so sorry for you. But I truely think (and you might not like this) If you want something bad enough you will find a way to achieve it. Look at all your options. Maybe a part time job for both of you in addition to the ones you already have. It would only be for a short time. School is out in May-June That would only be 5-6 months.. I'm sure you can do something. How about help form the family, maybe a small loan? I don't know your circumstances but I'm sure you can find an option that would work if you take the time and go over each option with a fine tooth comb..
Good Luck
PS Don't be mad at me, I'm just trying to help

[milliecorrales]

with snowyorkies, I would work a PT job and weekends to get what I wanted. Single mom of 4, I have usually had more than 1 FT job, Wanted to go to lots of Angels games this season (by the way I am almost 57 years old) and I took on a second job (I already work 40+ hours + commute time of 12 hrs a wk), so by working PT, I got to go to 30 games this year!!!! I had planned on working through the holidays for extra money, but my neighbor's dog attacked my boys and in saving them, broke my wrist, not too much demand for a one-armed worker LOL. If you truly want this, depend on no one else but yourself to get you there. My SIL is like your fiance, too nice and laidback for someone that is father of six, but my daughter decided that she would accept him as is, and depend on herself to get what she wants.

[Itspuppyluv]

I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. I hope you both figure out a way to get what you want.

[yorkieusa]

Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and make your own future. Your fiance may not always be in your life. Make your own future and become independent and then look into settling down with a man.

[Sherry Lynn]

Have you checked into any programs/assistance from the government?

There is a lot of stuff out there. One time I stumbled across some programs (when I had gotten laid off from a job) through the unemployment office. They referred me to another agency - I wish I could remember the name - and they helped me get into a school to update my office/computer skills.

While taking the classes I met lots of other women who were involved in other programs. Along with getting the education paid for, some got housing, some got childcare, some even got paid while they were in school.

I was able to get REALLY low interest loans that I used for living expenses, and the loans didn't have to be paid back until I had held a job for a couple of years.

The end goal is to get you out there working and paying more taxes! Maybe one of the YTers here with good investigative skills can help you look into it...

Good luck!

[orinskye]

i have taken all your suggestions into consideration. And i have talked to my fiance further and my family. My fiance said "go for it, we will worry about it when it comes" and my family said "this is too big of an oportunity NOT to take"... So, i e-mailed admissions and gave them my final decision: internship. I am over the moon right now. . . My fiance said that if he doesnt get the salary he will get another job elsewhere in addition to the one he allready has so we can make ends meat, and i will probably apply for an evening job at the local frameshop (i was a certified framer and design specialist with Aaron brothers five years ago), so it will work out im sure. Also, there are a lot of salary positions opening up before i start the program so the odds are that he will get one. Its just that i wanted to be secure BEFORE (i am a plan ahead person), oh well, i guess we will just have to go in blind and hope for sheer dumb luck.
Now i have to break it to my bosses so that i can get approved for a leave of absence.

[Sherry Lynn]

Whhoooo Hoooo!!!!

Good luck!

I know you can do what ever you set your mind to!!!