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01-01-2011, 05:38 AM | #1 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Dementia and careing for our parents? Is anyone else going through this? I was reading "Salazark" post about her MIL being in the hospital and alot of what she is going through, I have been through also with my mom. I tend to get very long winded about this subject so thought i would start a new post in case other people have gone through the same thing. Is this becomeing an epidemic with our elderly parents or other family members? Also with so many people being diagnosed with Dementia/Alzhimer do you find that there are not nearly enough facilities to care for these family members and to care for them properly? I know the medical world has had to cut back on staffing and facilities and programs ect ect just like many other jobs have, but these are human beings, our parents and other family members that we love. I know my mom was in a nurseing home and i had to demand that she be taken care of properly and once they knew i was serious and i was watching and what i expected of them then they shaped up. Needless to say my mom is no longer in that NH. But it is very hard to find good places for them to live in due to the fact that some of the meds can make them in mobile or maybe they have violent mood swings, therefore only places like state run NH will take them, those that will take almost any type of medical situtation. I am happy to say that my mom has come a long way and is now liveing in a assisted liveing place, but everytime she gets sick she reverts back so we are constantly keeping track of her medical issues trying to keep her well so she can continue to live there but it is a up hill battle and each time she gets sick she is that much closer to having to move. I know the best answer is to have her live with me, but like so many other's with the economy the way it is i have to work full time. It just breaks my heart to see my mom going through this and she is aware of her situation and tries so hard to be independent but i see her getting so tired. My mom is only 75 yrs old and we have been dealing with this for almost 5 yrs. Anyone else going through this and do you think it is becoming an epidemic for our elderly parents, and are there enough facilities to properly care for them?
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-01-2011, 05:50 AM | #2 |
Luving my babies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Over the rainbow
Posts: 3,291
| I am so sorry, dementia is such a difficult thing to go through. I think more and more older folks are getting dementia now. I was taking care of my father in law for some time. He was diagnosed with dimentia among many other things. We ended up keeping him at home the whole time. It was very hard. He just passed this last November. We do have plenty of nursing homes here. The only thing is not all of them have room for patients with dememtia.
__________________ Renee, Tayah, Dash, Bella & Paige |
01-01-2011, 05:52 AM | #3 |
Poppy's Mamma ♥ Donating Member | My grandad has dementia and sadly he is quite far gone now. He is in a nursing home bacause my nana cant cope with him by herself and although we all try and be there as much as we can, we all work full time. And we cant be there 24/7 to help. He cant remember who any of us are anymore and has no idea what is going on half of the time. My dad visits him in the NH every day, so they take pretty good care of him but I think thats because they know he is always there to check on things, unfortunatley not everyone can do this. I know when we came back off holiday we were horrified to find they had been putting adult diapers on him! He is NOT incontinent, he forgets where the toilets are but he tells you when he needs to go, I think some of the nurses just couldnt be bothered to take him.. needless to say we put an end to that. But I still think that many nurses dont know how to deal with a dementia patient. Its a very sad thing to watch a loved one go through this, and we know it will only get worse. But we fill his room with old photographs so he has familiar faces staring back at him and we try to keep things simple for him. My grandad sings, have you heard of this with dementia patients? He cant talk anymore everything he says he sings, most dosnt make sense.. he's the only person I have heard this from. Wishing you luck.
__________________ Rachael & Poppy |
01-01-2011, 06:26 AM | #4 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Quote:
I agree that there are lots of NH but they deal with so many different type's of medical issues that they don't have time or resouces to properly care for dementia patients. I guess what i meant is there are very few Alzhimer/Dementia facilities avaliable to care for this problem, keep them stimulated and work on memory, how to do basic everyday things.
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 | |
01-01-2011, 06:34 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire
Posts: 640
| Went through this with mil The issue specifically With dementia and other memory related issues is there Are few dedicated facilities that specialize in care of individuals with these issues. Most facilities are a wing of a nursing facility where the staff does not have any specialized training and you therefore end up with sub-par care The challenge at large is growing because of the number of people entering their senior years (baby boom generation) and the fact is there is not sufficient existing capacity dedicated or not dedicated to provide for their care When you factor in the whole cost issue it gets even more complicated Sad and terribly unfortunate Good luck to you with the care of your mom |
01-01-2011, 06:36 AM | #6 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Quote:
I agree that most of the medical profession does not know how to deal with this and most places don't have the time or resources to care for them properly, mainly NH becuse they deal with so many different types of issues. I have not heard anyone sing in place of talking but maybe it makes him happier, hope he has a good voice LOl.
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 | |
01-01-2011, 07:04 AM | #7 |
Ringo (1) and Lucy too! Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: On the Edge of Glory
Posts: 3,447
| My 89 y/o Father is currently living with us and in the very early stages of dementia. They are not certain how much is beginning dementia and how much is due to the fact that he can't hear! And refuses to get a hearing aid. He actually is doing pretty well; considering we just moved him here from another state - all strange surroundings. He decided, on his own, that he would not drive here - a good decision, I think. But his memory is gone; he can't remember five minutes later what you told him or he told you. He can no longer write checks or balance his checkbook; but he is aware of that. We have people from "Home Instead" come 3 days a week to help him to his laundry (I work full time and am running a lot with my teen-age son); they also take him out for lunch; to get a haircut; to the bank; whatever; whereever he wants to go. I could not have him here without help like that. It is sad to see my strong, former Army Officer father - slowly decline. Best of luck to all who are caring for elderly parents, in-laws, etc.
__________________ Mommy to Lucy, Ringo, and Matthew |
01-01-2011, 07:17 AM | #8 |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | Dementia is quite simply devastating on all the family. The wife/husband, daughters/sons, etc. I believe the stats run something like this 5-8% is the expected rate of the senior population who will end up with dementia of one nature or another. We have a huge % of our population coming into the senior years right now. In Ontario about 15 yrs ago or so, there was a huge push to build more facilities for assisted living of varying degrees, although the distribution of the facilities may not serve the individual local needs. Luckily for me before both my parents had to go into one of these facilities about 5yrs earlier they had completed 2 new faciities about 5 miles from where I lived. The numbers are staggering if the pop of USA is 300 mill about 46% is 50+ that means 100 mill or so folks will end up with dementia over the next 30 yrs. It is a worthy question to ask your local representative how your county/state plans on coping with this. What is/has been put into place to handle these kinds of numbers.
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 |
01-01-2011, 07:22 AM | #9 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Quote:
My mom is 75, still young i think and she should be enjoying her retirement years but sadly she isn't. She would love to be on the go, traveling, shopping ect. but she just can't go anywhere alone. She still has highschool friends that she see's and traveled with in the past and she still wants to go with them. Thankfully i do have 2 older daughters that help me with mom, and the oldest one is more into the medical field, if not for her i would not have gotten mom off all of the psych meds. and she would not be where she is now. Good luck with your father.
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 | |
01-01-2011, 07:29 AM | #10 | |
Ringo (1) and Lucy too! Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: On the Edge of Glory
Posts: 3,447
| Quote:
Thanks for your good thoughts. As long as he can stay about where he is now . . and we have the Home Instead people . . then he will continue to live here. But, if got much worse, I could no longer handle him at home. I try to engage him; take him places when I can - to help keep his mind occupied and sharp (as possible). But it IS hard when you have kids and work full-time; there's only so much time to devote to other things, I know.
__________________ Mommy to Lucy, Ringo, and Matthew | |
01-01-2011, 08:14 AM | #11 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | We had the Home Instead people during my father's final illness. Despite several family members and friends who helped a great deal, i could not have managed to keep Dad at home without the extra help. They were expensive but i could go to work knowing Dad was being properly cared for. Dad's mind was sharp as a tack until the very end. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to watch your parent forget everything -- it would be like losing them twice. But it was hard watching him fade a little every day and knowing that he KNEW he was going to die any day. Not to mention watching him say goodbye to the many friends who came to see him one last time. One of the worst parts was that he couldn't take care of even his most basic needs and I ended up being the designated hygiene person. I didn't mind so much, but it was very hard for the dad who took care of me for so long to let me take care of him that way. I caught him with tears rolling down his face a couple of times, but you know he never complained about it even once and always told me how much he was thankful to have me. |
01-01-2011, 08:22 AM | #12 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Quote:
We are lucky in the fact that when our parents were younger and raising their families, the economy was pretty good, not like it is now. Therefore the majority of them had good job's, good health benifits, good pensions and able to save a bit of money, which was suppose to be there to take care of them so they would not be a finacial burden on their children when they became ill or older or so they could enjoy their retierment. I know most of mom's health benifits have been cut unless we want to pay extra for them, vision, dental which were always free or very low cost, we were lucky that my dad had very good health ins. now my mom pays out of pocket for things she always relied on to keep her healthy. Most all assisted liveing place's are pay out of pocket and the price's are staggering each month, so won't take long for the saving to go. Also the price of meds is awful, especially when they are in the gap on the ins. Does anyone think about who will care for us when we get older, knowing the state of our economy is in now, our kids are barley able to care for themselves and their families. So many out of jobs or homes being forclosed on, no health benifits ect. One more thing, does anyone have a sibling that does not help or even visit their parent?
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 | |
01-01-2011, 08:29 AM | #13 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: indiana
Posts: 944
| Quote:
__________________ abbey,munchkin,sadie,andy,serena,nik R.I.P. Moe 10/24/1998 - 3/2013 R.I.P. Macey 12/29/1997 - 4/2013 | |
01-01-2011, 08:44 AM | #14 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | Forgot to mention that after my Dad died, I made a list of all the things in the house that were obstacles to a disabled person. I couldn't do anything about them during his illness because he couldn't have handled the construction chaos, but I've spent several years fixing them. Took out the bathtub in the master bath and installed a large walk-in shower. Took out the too-small shower with non-tempered glass door (70 year-old house) and installed a walk-in bathtub. Had a concrete patio poured to transition from back porch to yard level so wheelchair ramps won't be necessary. Removed dust-catching fabric window coverings and put in wood blinds to help reduce breathing problems. Still have some wall-to-wall carpeting I want to replace with wood or tile. This is the house I intend to stay in the rest of my days, and if necessary I will take care of any other loved ones who need help, so it only makes sense to prepare now while I can stand the temporary mess and chaos. |
01-01-2011, 08:45 AM | #15 | |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | Quote:
That is exceedingly worrisome. My husband and I have talked about this. We will need to come up with some creative solutions soon. Many couples elected or just didn't have children, so that is not an option. But even with children, it is very hard to care for someone with dementia. Eventually impossible in the home environment. I can't tell you the number of phone calls I got and had to leave work to find my Dad, who was out wandering. I tried putting an alarm on the doors, but Mom would turn it off, because the noise bothered her, then out the door Dad would go. In fact it was that wandering that eventually forced my hand to put Dad in a home. I still remember vividly one Jan evening at midnight, a knocking of the front door, I hurriedly put on housecoat to find my Dad in summer pj's and slippers and two policeman asking me if I knew this man. It must have been -10 degrees out there. I then slept in the living room, until Dad went into his nursing home. The next day I called our social services, and the lady there was wonderful. She said she'd tried to swing some things, to get Dad in a nursing home ASAP. If she had put him on an emergency coding, he could have gone anywhere in the province; ie 100's of miles away. She was as good as her word, one week later I was moving Dad into the home.
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 | |
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