Just need to talk

[lmperez]

I just need to talk. I can't seem to talk to anyone I know they just don't seem to understand or they have they own issues that I can't bear to share my issues. I feel so alone in a house full of people. I feel as though I am talking a in a different language that know body understands. I am always asked to do things for others and when I say I can't becuase... people get angry with me. I have to be responsiable for a family of 5 plus my fur family plus I work only part time. I think I am going through mid life crises as I feel my existance is meaningless and I want to change the world somehow. I feel anxious and unhappy. This weeekend I asked my family to help clean up around the house and they all found an excuse to aviod it. what makes this so bad is that I have been asking for a very long time and my requests have continuously are ignored. This is now a matter of mental health. I had a friend visist from out of state and I was so embarrased that I could not even have her over to my house, I had to meet her at my moms. My drain is blocked,vaccum broke and fridge leaks.

On top of all of this my hours at work have been cut and I really need to find another way to make some money. I need to find something that I can do from home because my two boys require help to keep them on tract with school.

I just feel so overwhelmed and just needed to let it out. Thanks.

[107barney]

Originally Posted by lmperez

I just need to talk. I can't seem to talk to anyone I know they just don't seem to understand or they have they own issues that I can't bear to share my issues. I feel so alone in a house full of people. I feel as though I am talking a in a different language that know body understands. I am always asked to do things for others and when I say I can't becuase... people get angry with me. I have to be responsiable for a family of 5 plus my fur family plus I work only part time. I think I am going through mid life crises as I feel my existance is meaningless and I want to change the world somehow. I feel anxious and unhappy. This weeekend I asked my family to help clean up around the house and they all found an excuse to aviod it. what makes this so bad is that I have been asking for a very long time and my requests have continuously are ignored. This is now a matter of mental health. I had a friend visist from out of state and I was so embarrased that I could not even have her over to my house, I had to meet her at my moms. My drain is blocked,vaccum broke and fridge leaks.

On top of all of this my hours at work have been cut and I really need to find another way to make some money. I need to find something that I can do from home because my two boys require help to keep them on tract with school.

I just feel so overwhelmed and just needed to let it out. Thanks.

Maybe you should so something for yourself instead of working more. How about a volunteer job where you feel like you are making a difference in the world? As for the house being a mess - I think you should just make a plan and do it. You will feel better -- not only that you accomplished the tasks but that you have a really clean house! Use all natural items too so you can save money plus feel good about what you are using. If you need any help with green natural ways to clean, I went chemical free a few years ago.

As for the blocked drain - try 1 cup of baking soda on the drain, pour one cup of white vinegar on top and let it bubble. When that is done, follow up with 1 cup of hot water. If that does not clear the drain after two attempts, you need a plumber.

I can't help with the vacuum or the fridge

[MissSophie]

I am so sorry that you are so overwhelmed. Do you have friends nearby or at work? Do you know anyone you can talk to about this? Are you married? Does your husband support you and listen to you? You need to find someone who will listen. Please get help, even if you have to go to your doctor. Sometimes getting a good physical could find something like a hormone imbalance or something like that. You may be able to get help so that you can feel better.

[Beamers Mom]

Originally Posted by lmperez

I just need to talk. I can't seem to talk to anyone I know they just don't seem to understand or they have they own issues that I can't bear to share my issues. I feel so alone in a house full of people. I feel as though I am talking a in a different language that know body understands. I am always asked to do things for others and when I say I can't becuase... people get angry with me. I have to be responsiable for a family of 5 plus my fur family plus I work only part time. I think I am going through mid life crises as I feel my existance is meaningless and I want to change the world somehow. I feel anxious and unhappy. This weeekend I asked my family to help clean up around the house and they all found an excuse to aviod it. what makes this so bad is that I have been asking for a very long time and my requests have continuously are ignored. This is now a matter of mental health. I had a friend visist from out of state and I was so embarrased that I could not even have her over to my house, I had to meet her at my moms. My drain is blocked,vaccum broke and fridge leaks.

On top of all of this my hours at work have been cut and I really need to find another way to make some money. I need to find something that I can do from home because my two boys require help to keep them on tract with school.

I just feel so overwhelmed and just needed to let it out. Thanks.

have you ever checked out Fly Lady???

FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home

I used to follow her religiously and it worked.

How old are your children???

[lmperez]

Originally Posted by 107barney

Maybe you should so something for yourself instead of working more. How about a volunteer job where you feel like you are making a difference in the world? As for the house being a mess - I think you should just make a plan and do it. You will feel better -- not only that you accomplished the tasks but that you have a really clean house! Use all natural items too so you can save money plus feel good about what you are using. If you need any help with green natural ways to clean, I went chemical free a few years ago.

As for the blocked drain - try 1 cup of baking soda on the drain, pour one cup of white vinegar on top and let it bubble. When that is done, follow up with 1 cup of hot water. If that does not clear the drain after two attempts, you need a plumber.

I can't help with the vacuum or the fridge

I use to volunteer for a yorkie rescue but that got to be too much since I have quite a few of my own fur family an dthen I statrted to worry about them getting sick and they were gettingto stressed with a constant change that would occur. I really have thought about volunteering to educate people on responsible pet ownership. But to make ends meet I really need to make some money. Times are really tough and I have been looking for work for a while but I really want something that is gratifying,,, Nothing like asking for everything.

I have tried the baking soda and vinegar and it did clean the drains but I think is further down the drain. My dad just bought a electrical snake extra long so I am going to try that tomorrow and pray that it works.

My house is a mess partially because my family refuses to put things away where they belong. I need my husbands help becuase he and my son put not needed furniture in my living room and I can not move it myself. They use my living room to to store large items until they find a use for it. It is very frustrating. The other is I have cats that shed and becuase I have lost ctas to coyotes I no longer allow them to go outside and people always bring their kittens to me to bottle feed and take care of but since the economy went belly up I was unable to place these babies and ended up keeping them.

Fridge needs to be replaced evenually and I have been looking at vaccums, just not sure which one to buy...

I have started to go green but any info you would like to share would be welcomed.

Thanks.

[lmperez]

Originally Posted by MissSophie

I am so sorry that you are so overwhelmed. Do you have friends nearby or at work? Do you know anyone you can talk to about this? Are you married? Does your husband support you and listen to you? You need to find someone who will listen. Please get help, even if you have to go to your doctor. Sometimes getting a good physical could find something like a hormone imbalance or something like that. You may be able to get help so that you can feel better.

I do have friends but they either have their own issues or they jsut don't understand because things are going pretty good for them. They laugh when I say I think it is midlife crisis but I truely think it is. I am married and yes he can be supportive but not about this issue. I have tried talking to him but I think he thinks I am just ranting and he basically finds a wya out of doing what I need. He will agree to do it but it never gets done.
Thanks

[FlDebra]

Leaky fridge is probably a clogged drain too. Look under the bottom crisper drawer and see if there is a drain. If it gets clogged, the condensation accumulates and then spills over instead of getting to the drain pan under the fridge where it normally evaporates. There may also be one in the freezer compartment if it is a side by side. Use a turkey baster to put some HOT water through the drain. You may have to add some baking soda and then vinegar -- just like what was recommended for a normal clogged drain.

For cleaning -- if the whole house is a mess. Clean one room -- then make it off limits until you get help with the rest of them. If they don't pitch in to help, start taking away priviledges. Do you do their laundry? Pay for their car, gas, insurance? Whatever it is -- start slowly taking away until they get the idea this is a family TEAM endeavor and everyone pulls their own weight!

But First, schedule a physical for yourself pronto! There are so many things that can affect us physically and then leave us feeling overwhelmed, a sense of doom, depressed, stressed, tired, exhausted, achey, in horrible pain, mental confusion, anxiety ......I felt all of those things and just had a bum thyroid gland. It was giving anything from a flicker to a flood, and then started going out completely. I finally had to have it removed and got on thyroid replacement and WOW, what a difference! I know a friend who had a similar experience when she needed female hormones. Just to make sure you are 100%, see the doc, let him run some blood tests and make sure. That way, at least you know you are attacking the problems at hand with all you can give them. It is tough to tackle several jobs at once when you are running on half your cylinders.

Next -- I would try to find someone you can talk to in person. It is great to always be able to come here and ask for someone to listen. There will always be someone to do that for you. But it is so much better when you have a real life person in front of you when you need to open up. If you cannot find a friend or family member, maybe a pastor, a counselor, someone who actually is trained to listen. We all need SOMEONE to listen, offer some kindness, maybe advice, but sometimes just to listen.

Finally (and although I saved this for last -- make it first on your list!) -- pray to whatever power you believe in. There is no way I could tackle life alone. Talking with my God is probably the most empowering thing I do. I know that He is with me and will help pull me through when I could never do it on my own. He gives me confidence, strength and comfort. None of us can make it through this world alone. We all need help. Don't be shy about asking.

I'm sorry your family is not being there for you. But think about the steps above and then re-evaluate. You may find, once you feel better they will seem different to you too.

[MaddiesMommie]

Sorry you are feeling blue. I am no help on fixing things around the house but can send you a prayer and a ((hug)).

[lmperez]

Originally Posted by Beamers Mom

have you ever checked out Fly Lady???

FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home

I used to follow her religiously and it worked.

How old are your children???

Ill check it out. Thanks!!

My kids are 12,18 and 20. Should not be a problem huh! My daughter was born with congenital birth defects and required a lot of surgeries which took time away from my 18 yr old and he tends to be angry because of it and feels I owe him. My 20 yr old is great but she is taking 18 units at college and works part time so she is never home. My boys model after their dad and take things out but never put things back. I feel like I have to think for them and then I am a nag. I can't keep up cleaning up after them and keep up with normal cleaning. They keep everything that I feel like I am married to Sanford and Sons. If I clean aand put things away they can't find them and get upset with me. Then I can't remember where I put it. They are all disorganized which makes me disorganized. My 18 yr old has ADD 12 yr might have a slight case and I think my DH has it as well.

[lillymae]

This may sound harsh & will only take care of part of what you are going through but here it is. When I ask for help cleaning up the mess that I did not make and get none, I eventually get to the point you are at so I have found something that works very well. I now give one Warning and if I get no help then all of their stuff gets thrown rite out the front door onto the lawn. Wow , you would be surprised how fast they are willing to clean up their things after the embarrassment of all the neighbors and passersby looking at them picking up their things off the lawn.

[lmperez]

FLdebra and Maddiesmommy thank you for the kind words.

I will try the fridge drain and see if that helps, cause the darn thing works well. I have had a physical but maybe things have changed. I do have thyroid issues and I am on meds for it but maybe it needs to be changed. That is probably a good idea.

[lmperez]

Originally Posted by lillymae

This may sound harsh & will only take care of part of what you are going through but here it is. When I ask for help cleaning up the mess that I did not make and get none, I eventually get to the point you are at so I have found something that works very well. I now give one Warning and if I get no help then all of their stuff gets thrown rite out the front door onto the lawn. Wow , you would be surprised how fast they are willing to clean up their things after the embarrassment of all the neighbors and passersby looking at them picking up their things off the lawn.

They would probably leave it there!!! I might have to give it a try!!

[brendarash]

I am so sorry you are feeling down and alone. First, if you are feeling depressed you need to make a visit to your doctor to see about getting help for depression. Blood work is a good thing to get done.It can take a few weeks before it gets to a theraputic level. As far as you family not helping you, you need to firmly tell them next weekend (or what ever day is best) WE are going to get this house cleaned up. Do not give them a choice. It sounds like you are to nice,and they know they can run all over you. Let them know ,if your things are still in this house and not taken care of it is going to the dump. Maybe you need to take time for yourself, go to lunch with a friend or with your husband for a change. I know how it is to have many fur babies.I have 6 pups and 4 cats. All indoor cats.I have a husband that is very sick with liver failure, I am his only caretaker, I take care of everything 100%. with no help at all. not to mention,I have a very bad back on top of that,but I love to spend as much time with Mike while I still have him because They do not know how long he has. Good luck, If you need to talk pm me. I will be here to listen.

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by lmperez

They would probably leave it there!!! I might have to give it a try!!

They may but probably not. It also helps to take out your frustrations. Picture yourself throwing it all, really hard & really far. It's even better then a scream and it makes you feel alive & satisfied, almost better then sex

[lmperez]

Originally Posted by brendarash

I am so sorry you are feeling down and alone. First, if you are feeling depressed you need to make a visit to your doctor to see about getting help for depression. Blood work is a good thing to get done.It can take a few weeks before it gets to a theraputic level. As far as you family not helping you, you need to firmly tell them next weekend (or what ever day is best) WE are going to get this house cleaned up. Do not give them a choice. It sounds like you are to nice,and they know they can run all over you. Let them know ,if your things are still in this house and not taken care of it is going to the dump. Maybe you need to take time for yourself, go to lunch with a friend or with your husband for a change. I know how it is to have many fur babies.I have 6 pups and 4 cats. All indoor cats.I have a husband that is very sick with liver failure, I am his only caretaker, I take care of everything 100%. with no help at all. not to mention,I have a very bad back on top of that,but I love to spend as much time with Mike while I still have him because They do not know how long he has. Good luck, If you need to talk pm me. I will be here to listen.

Thank you!!! I am sorry to hear about your husband. He is lucky to have you. Anyone that has a full plate and still offers to listen to another is a very caring and wonderful person. Thank you!!!!