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11-04-2005, 09:21 AM | #1 |
~GirlieGirls~ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,293
| Preteen/teen moms My daughter is 11 1/2 and she is totally obsessed with her weight. She has very round cheeks and thanks she is fat. Aside from her round face she is very petite. I am very petite, but I'm not strict with myself. Hell, I can't even make brownies without eating half the pan.(yes I'm serious) I have never brought up weight with either of my girls, I think they are both beautiful, so why all this sudden is she so down on herself. I am a little worried, she told me she wants to go on a diet. I cook healty meals so I don't see any reason for a diet. Someone PLEASE give me some advice. Here is a picture of her.
__________________ Tricia ~ mommy to Alexis, Victoria, & Candise www.TriciaMartinPhotography.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosbytricia/sets/ |
Welcome Guest! | |
11-04-2005, 09:31 AM | #2 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,194
| Quote:
She's a beautiful young girl...just keep reinforcing "healthy eating" for health, not beauty. Its her age and the magazines...just keep telling her she's beautiful! She still has her "baby" face! Francie | |
11-04-2005, 09:36 AM | #3 | |
Monte, Mone't's Joy! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: MD
Posts: 3,009
| Quote:
I think it has nothing to do with you.. I think it might be her peer's as well as society. You know the thing's she see's and hear's. When you have 1 story after another about a woman weighing 135, but just lost weight 30lbs. Self-esteem play's into it a lot. Diet's aren't good for anyone, especially a growing teenager, who may have lot's of hormones. I think you should have a talk with her and see where all this is coming from, get her point of view's of what she think a diet is..and let her know about how you cook them healthy food, and that healthy eating is a way to go....Also, get her to show you picture's of what she think's an acceptable body image is..Body image is key. SHow her what you feel, and think a healthy body image is... It doen't have to be a star... :
__________________ "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."!! Mone't Mom 2 Monte | |
11-04-2005, 09:38 AM | #4 |
~GirlieGirls~ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,293
| Thank you, I just worry so much about this kind of thing. You read and see so much about girls who have eating disorders and it is scarey. My husband totally thinks this is normal and that I should let her go on what she thinks is a diet. He said, that away she'll try it and then it will be a been there done that thing and blow over. I don't know though. She is a very indepent and strong willed person, I fear it wouldn't blow over. As it is she is getting taller and already looks like she is getting thinner. Do you think I'm making to much out of this or do I reason to be concerned?
__________________ Tricia ~ mommy to Alexis, Victoria, & Candise www.TriciaMartinPhotography.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosbytricia/sets/ |
11-04-2005, 09:40 AM | #5 | |
~GirlieGirls~ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,293
| Quote:
__________________ Tricia ~ mommy to Alexis, Victoria, & Candise www.TriciaMartinPhotography.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosbytricia/sets/ | |
11-04-2005, 09:45 AM | #6 | |
Monte, Mone't's Joy! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: MD
Posts: 3,009
| Quote:
__________________ "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."!! Mone't Mom 2 Monte | |
11-04-2005, 09:48 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: CA
Posts: 1,406
| Your daughter is a beauty! I may not be of any help, but let me tell you I was actually in that same position (i'm not a mom, i meant i was like that too) When i was 12 i always thought i looked ugly and i felt really ugly too, only because I wanted to "fit in" and be cool like the cool kids. I was never cool lol, I always was concerned about my weight even though i was a twig. I also think that unfortunately society really plays a role on our teens these days. The image that really skinny is in, i have nothing against really thin women, because i used to be pin thin as well. I just don't see how Lindsay Lohan or Hilary duff or even Nicole Richie is healthy skinny. Especially the way they lost all that weight and very fast. I agree with everyone when you should still encourage healthy eating habits and exercise. But of course never crash diet or anything. You are a great mom for being concerned. I wasn't really close to my mother and that's probably why we are so close now only because i shut her out when I was younger. I grew up way too fast.. i miss rollerblading with my friends.. never having to worry about my image. ok i totally went off topic, lol don't mind me. but your daughter is beautiful and she shouldn't change! |
11-04-2005, 09:53 AM | #8 |
Mommy to 3 Princesses Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: DFW Texas
Posts: 11,030
| She is beautifuls and definetly tiny! She doesnt need to diet. Its sad that society would make her feel that way. I hope she realizes how beautiful she is.
__________________ Custom Dog Clothing Boutique www.TinkerbellsCloset.com |
11-04-2005, 10:10 AM | #9 |
Rescue Angel Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: md
Posts: 1,530
| My daughter used to always worry about being to fat when she was a STICK at age 13. Now she is 14 1/2 and doesn't worry about it. I think it was a faze
__________________ Yorkieangel |
11-04-2005, 10:14 AM | #10 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Yukon, ok
Posts: 2,885
| I agree with everyone else!!! She is so pretty!!!! I honestly think it has a lot to do with society now...They are sending the message that you need to be like 90 pounds to look good..
__________________ Kelly- momma to Parker, Star,Zoe, & Kegan.. RIP Silly Lily OK Yorkie Rescue - http://okyorkierescue.org |
11-04-2005, 10:33 AM | #11 |
~GirlieGirls~ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,293
| Thanks everyone!! xtine, furtanetly (sp) she does like the way she looks aside from her weight. She is so smart, (straight A's since first grade) cute, sweet, and funny. She has lots of friends, but she is very shy around the boys (and that is way OK with us LOL). I really hope it is just a phase, either way though we are going to be talking again, just the 2 of us. I am very guilty of letting her do grown up things. Like her nails, highlights, a cell phone, Ipod, shop at very exspensive stores, however, these things have a price, she must stay on the A honor roll, no lieing, NO DRUGS (of any sort), and no stealing. My husband and I are very leinent about material things, but very strict as to her safety and were abouts.
__________________ Tricia ~ mommy to Alexis, Victoria, & Candise www.TriciaMartinPhotography.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosbytricia/sets/ |
11-04-2005, 11:19 AM | #12 |
My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City
Posts: 2,092
| Society puts sooooo much pressure on these little girls. They also put pressure on each other. i listen to them talk on the bus when I bring my son home and it's amazing. I don't know what I would do if I had a girl, what do you say to them? how do you tell them they are ok, just the way they are? Your daughter is so lovely. Diet, schmiet. It's so early for something like this. Good luck!!! I don't know what else to say. |
11-04-2005, 11:27 AM | #13 |
Mom loves Gucci Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York City
Posts: 6,427
| Your daugther is so pretty. Bless her. I think everyone have give you great advise. You can ask her pedriatician to talk to her to asure her that her weigh is just perfect, and she doesnt need to go on a diet. |
11-04-2005, 11:52 AM | #14 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,637
| My sister is 13 and she thinks that she is fat too she is STICK thin. Everyday I hear her compare herself to some star on tv or out of a magazine. I think that you should expain to her what a healthy diet is and if she likes that then fine I would not worry about it eating healthy and excercise is not going to hurt anyone. But if she thinks that a diet is starving yourself then you need to explain that she will end up in the hospital that way. My sister thinks that starving yourself is the only way to get skinny bc of what she hears on tv or reads in magazines. Your daughter is beautiful and she is by all means not fat! Its just a stage too, in a few years when she gets a boyfriend then she will understand that you dont have to look like the girls on tv to have the boys crazy for you! |
11-04-2005, 01:10 PM | #15 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central NY state
Posts: 1,741
| If you have a talk with your daughter and she looks in magazines to show you what she thinks is an ideal body type, make sure that you point out that A LOT of air brushing is done to those pictures. There was a huge article in 17 magazine that was highlighted on the Today Show. An actress, who has an amazing body, showed her photo with all of the mark-ups on what to change. They skimmed everything, lengthened her legs, darkened her jeans, enhanced her chest- you name it! I went through the same thing. I was heavy as a child and once I hit 9th grade, I started with some very unhealthy eating habits. I still can hardly ever sit at a meal and enjoy myself without thinking about the calories, fat, or amount of exercise needed to get rid of the calories and fat. Unfortunately, I think it's something that most girls go through at that age. Make sure that you aren't making comments about your weight or appearence in front of her. You can tell her she's beautiful all day, but if you look good and are critical of yourself, your actions will speak louder than your words. I would just say to tell her that it's natural to feel uncomfortable with her body at this point. Tell her that she's beautiful, healthy, and has a beautiful heart. She is having these feelings and will continue to, so I would just monitor her eating and exercising habits to make sure that nothing gets out of control. Also, don't get frustrated and tell her to stop saying things about her body. She'll continue to have these feelings whether she voices them to you or not. If she can't turn to you with her insecurities, then she might make some unwise decisions on her own. |
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