I need some advice from my friends here...

[vainchick5]

Hi ladies sorry I've been MIA I've been dealing with the cancer treatments and trying to also launch my new career. Life has just been crazy and full of ups and downs.

Here's what I need advice on:

My best friend lives 5-6 hours away from me (driving). The last time I saw her was in October and I miss her terribly. We have been wanting to see each other and have a fun girls weekend together but due to financial issues with jobs and such we are both not going to be able to do that in the immediate. So my other friend said she is driving down there and would love to have a girls road trip with me her and my pups. She said she would drop me off at my bffs place friday and pick me up sunday. So I would spend all weekend with my bff in PJs watching movies and hanging out. Due to the cancer treatment prep that I'm going through right now I'm too weak to do anything, even walking for more than a couple of minutes. Needless to say we would just be hanging out at home with the dogs, which was fine with both of us.
So I made the mistake of telling her last night that I was feeling ill and almost fainted again and now she doesn't want me to come. I was so excited I had my movies planned out and everything. Once I get my treatment on 1/27 I can't leave my house or be around ANYONE for at least a couple of weeks. NO one can come within like 7 feet of me. So I thought this would be my last hurray before my house arrest prison sentence.
She says I'm clearly in no condition to travel and why would I want to do this to myself right now when I need to get my body strong. That I should stay home and rest in bed until everything is done and then we can do our trip after the treatments are done. She like I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you while you were here, I would just panic, if you collapsed or got sick. She was like you can barely walk to the bathroom by yourself, why would you want to put your body through so much when you need to focus on getting stronger.
So now my feelings are hurt (prob because I also have no hormones in my system so I feel off my rocker). I feel like why doesn't she want to see me? I was so excited!! I told her too that I don't want to be a burden for her nor did I need a babysitter and she was like you're taking it wrong that's not what I'm saying at all I just care and I'm worried and I don't think your doctor would be happy about this little trip of yours that everyday I'm getting worse blah blah. I guess I'm hurt because if roles were reversed I would expect her to be a good judge of her own health and if she thought she was ok to come I'd be super excited to see her and it bums me out that she's not. I know she is just more worried but it still hurts a bit. Am I overreacting?? Isn't this what best friends are for to put aside their own feelings and be there for you when you need them? I just wanted to escape for a weekend and go see my best friend and so what if I'm weak I won't get any better sitting home. I just wish I hadn't told her the truth about how I was feeling I'm so bummed out I want to just cry. Am I being silly????

[jeanm1963]

Having just finished up cancer treatments , can I just tell you that I think she is probally right in her suggestion for you to stay home. I wanted to be right near my doctors should anything happen.
I had the same plan as you as far as not going out or having people come in the house , it can get lonely... Thank God for the REDBOX, I think I have seen every movie released , it wasnt till a few months ago I was allowed to go to the mall because there were so many germs there and chemo left me with a very very low white count so I could catch anything and quickly!!

So very sorry your going through this, I know your emotions are running high and your feelings are easily hurt but I do think your better off at home and close to your doctors. Maybe she can save some money and come and be with you when your doing your treatment....

Good luck with everything, it will go by quicker then you think

Have you run it by your Doctor, perhaps if he gives you the OK to go and thinks it might be good for you for BFF will feel
better and change her mind for you to come... tell her you will have a DRS note in hand

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by jeanm1963

Having just finished up cancer treatments , can I just tell you that I think she is probally right in her suggestion for you to stay home. I wanted to be right near my doctors should anything happen.
I had the same plan as you as far as not going out or having people come in the house , it can get lonely... Thank God for the REDBOX, I think I have seen every movie released , it wasnt till a few months ago I was allowed to go to the mall because there were so many germs there and chemo left me with a very very low white count so I could catch anything and quickly!!

So very sorry your going through this, I know your emotions are running high and your feelings are easily hurt but I do think your better off at home and close to your doctors. Maybe she can save some money and come and be with you when your doing your treatment....

Good luck with everything, it will go by quicker then you think

Have you run it by your Doctor, perhaps if he gives you the OK to go and thinks it might be good for you for BFF will feel
better and change her mind for you to come... tell her you will have a DRS note in hand

Thanks Jeannie! It does get lonely when you become radioactive and can't have so much as a high five nevertheless a hug. All of my close friends nearby have been so great and supportive coming to visit me and going on walks with me. But I just really miss my BF and just want to go see her. Staying home won't make me better besides it's not like I would be driving. I would just be sitting in a car, like sitting on the couch (really whats the difference?). I think I might just take your advice and get a doctors note Hadn't thought about that one haha

[jeanm1963]

ARe you getting Baxar? My aunt had that a few months back... It went by quickly!!

[spiritwings1202]

I think Your best friend is only looking out for your well being. I know it hurt your feelings but you have to understand where she is coming from
I am so sorry that you are having to go through cancer treatments.
I think you are probably being a lil sensitive considering what you are going through and understanbly so,
I just went through a breast biopsy and I was very sensitive to things my family would say to me and that is just a biopsy. I cannot imagine how sensitive I would be if I went through cancer treatments.
I think once you have gotten your strength and had all your treatments you should just treat yourself and go visit your friend. You are in my prayers and a big hug to you! Take care of yourself

[MeganS]

Oh Nobella. I'm very sorry. I've been thinking about you quite a bit lately!

I can't imagine how dissapointed you must be. That's such a tough situation. I kind of agree with your best friend though. You're going to need all of the strength you can muster. Would it be possible to talk to your doctor about it and ask him/her what their thoughts are on it?

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. Soon you will have this horrible cancer behind you, and you'll be able to go back to normality.

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by jeanm1963

ARe you getting Baxar? My aunt had that a few months back... It went by quickly!!

What's Baxar? I've been preparing for these darn treatments since mid December and every day gets harder and harder with nausea, dizzy/fainting spells, really low blood amongst the long list of issues. I get the radiation 1/27and I will be radioactive for little under 2 weeks. It takes months for my body to start recovering and as it starts to recover its time for the next treatment. I'm totally having a pity party for me today lol

[jeanm1963]

Originally Posted by vainchick5

What's Baxar? I've been preparing for these darn treatments since mid December and every day gets harder and harder with nausea, dizzy/fainting spells, really low blood amongst the long list of issues. I get the radiation 1/27and I will be radioactive for little under 2 weeks. It takes months for my body to start recovering and as it starts to recover its time for the next treatment. I'm totally having a pity party for me today lol

Baxar treatments is where they fill your body with radioactivity... your isolated for about 10 days...

I agree with you , I had about a million pity parties.. some worse then others.. it just plain SUCKS.. again , Im sooo sorry your going thru this.. I feel your pain urrgghhhh..... I still think its better if you stay home but run it by your doctor and see what he says... I went to Florida between Chemo and internal radiation.. it was a nice break.. I felt like crap but went to see my mom and the sun felt great... my Dr did give me permission to go only if I relaxed and didnt do to much of anything.. !!

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by spiritwings1202

I think Your best friend is only looking out for your well being. I know it hurt your feelings but you have to understand where she is coming from
I am so sorry that you are having to go through cancer treatments.
I think you are probably being a lil sensitive considering what you are going through and understanbly so,
I just went through a breast biopsy and I was very sensitive to things my family would say to me and that is just a biopsy. I cannot imagine how sensitive I would be if I went through cancer treatments.
I think once you have gotten your strength and had all your treatments you should just treat yourself and go visit your friend. You are in my prayers and a big hug to you! Take care of yourself

Thank you SpiritWings. I hope your biopsy went well those are never fun physically or emotionally. I don't know which one is worse I'm trying not to be sensitive really I am I'm just so bummed out and sad. I just want to be normal and go visit my my best friend without a constant reminder that I'm a cancer patient. I hate being seen only through that view like it defines me.

MEGAN I've missed you so!!! Sorry I've been so MIA just a lot going on. I bet you are growing into an even more amazing person than you already were. Thank you for your loving thoughts and support. This is truly a tough situation and I know I should be so grateful because many many many people are suffering so much more on a daily basis with hugely aggressive diseases. But in a weird way it doesn't make my suffering any less or feel better in any
way. Is that bad to say? Like everyones suffering is relative right, there's always someone suffering worse. I could talk to my doctor but I don't want to FORCE my best friend to say "OK THEN YOU SHOULD COME" lol (probably being way too sensitive). You know what I mean?

[MeganS]

I've missed you too!!! I totally, totally understand what you're saying about other peoples' suffering. My mom suffers from chronic pain (they've been trying to diagnose her for years), and yeah, there are people who suffer ten times worse than her, but that doesn't make her trials insignificant. and the same goes for you! So don't ever feel bad about complaining a bit or what have you. It bugs me when people say stuff like "There are people who are so much worse off than I am" because while that's true, it doesn't mean anything! Someone's always worse off, as you said.

Anyway. Now I'm rambling. But I love you!! Feel better. And when you're feeling good enough...we'd love to have you back posting again!

[Lexi Rae]

awww Nobella,, your friends are just worried about you. They love you and dont want anything to happen to you.. Listen, You take care of yourself and i will be praying for you.. god bless

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by Lexi Rae

awww Nobella,, your friends are just worried about you. They love you and dont want anything to happen to you.. Listen, You take care of yourself and i will be praying for you.. god bless

Hi Gina, good to see you on!! I miss all my old buds here (and love the new buds I'm making as well ) I know she's worried and I haven't even told her that I'm upset that she doesn't want me to come. I just kind of glossed over it and everyday that I think about it I know what she said makes sense and is the right thing to do. It just doesn't make me less sad about it. I just feel like the cancer friend like everyone feels like they have to be careful or watch out cause I might break. I just want to be treated normal and for my friends to be excited when I want to go see them and not be worried that I might die on them while in their home <sigh>

[ARCHIE]

Nobella, I am so sorry to read you've been so sick and going threw cancer
treatments. From reading your post I think your BF is just very concerned
for you and I also have to agree with her that you should be taking
care of yourself and stay close to home and your doctor's at this point.
I know you are very dissapointed and rightfully so but your health is your
health. There will be times to get together when your feeling much
stronger. Is it possible for her to come visit you? Would that work?
This way your close to everything incase you need your doctor and she
won't be so nervous with you so far away.
I hope that works so you can get your visit in with your friend.
Please feel better soon. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer's
for you to get stronger and recover from this illness.


Hugs,

Hugs,

[linz06]

I'm glad you see now that it's for the best! I'm sure your friend wants to see you badly, but she wants the best for YOU. That's what best friends are for... telling you the truth even when it's not what you want! All of my close friends live far away but when we want to have a night "together" we can set aside a night and hang out on webcam Maybe you guys could Skype while watching a movie together! I know it's not the same as being together, but you can still chat and laugh and it might lift your spirits a little!

[Patti]

I do think your BF is just worried about your health and that is so disappointing for you but maybe you can set up a future plan to get together and have something to look forward to. I will keep you in my prayers.