Fostering????

[Patti]

As you may know, I am fostering a pom puppy from a puppy mill auction and I have had her almost 2 weeks. She was just spayed and they put them up on the shelter website 3 days later. So I just got a call from the shelter manager asking if I was going to keep her as 1/2 of the 18 foster parents were keeping them. I told her no that I couldn't keep her and she said they want to put the rest on their website as they foster dogs are getting too attached. I feel so guilty for not keeping her but I never intended to keep her as 3 s my limit, 1 of my Yorkies hates her and is going after her and is just not happy and I can't take on another dog at this time as my father is terminally ill and I have to take care of him and be available for him. This is my first time fostering and I am wondering if most fosters end up keeping the dogs and if not how do you deal with giving them up. I don't think I can do this again i feel so bad for Angel and just pray she gets a great forever home. I would love to here from other's who have fostered before. Thanks so much.

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by Patti

As you may know, I am fostering a pom puppy from a puppy mill auction and I have had her almost 2 weeks. She was just spayed and they put them up on the shelter website 3 days later. So I just got a call from the shelter manager asking if I was going to keep her as 1/2 of the 18 foster parents were keeping them. I told her no that I couldn't keep her and she said they want to put the rest on their website as they foster dogs are getting too attached. I feel so guilty for not keeping her but I never intended to keep her as 3 s my limit, 1 of my Yorkies hates her and is going after her and is just not happy and I can't take on another dog at this time as my father is terminally ill and I have to take care of him and be available for him. This is my first time fostering and I am wondering if most fosters end up keeping the dogs and if not how do you deal with giving them up. I don't think I can do this again i feel so bad for Angel and just pray she gets a great forever home. I would love to here from other's who have fostered before. Thanks so much.

Patti~I am actually a little shocked that the shelter manager is putting pressure of you to keep her. The idea of being a foster home is to be a transition to their forever homes. If we kept all of our fosters we would become hoarders. It is hard to let them go but in order to make room for the next pup in need you need to do this as a good foster mom.

Please do not feel guilty that you want to adopt you foster pup to a good home. That is what foster homes are for~you are a temporary place that will love and nurture a pup in need until he finds a loving forever home.

Or course you will get attached and hate to see her move on to a new home but that is a huge part of the reward of fostering. I am going to see if I can find a few more fosters that could give you additional guidance with their experiences in fostering.

[jencar98]

Patti, I agree with everything MegansMomma has posted. You absolutely should feel no guilt for not keeping any foster.

The thought of giving up my first set of fosters did make me sad at first. I decided right then though, that I couldn't look at giving them up as a sad event, but an event to be celebrated. A happy forever home is what I want most of all for every foster dog. When I adopted that perspective, giving one up became much easier.

[llcornell]

I first have to say thank you for fostering its not an easy job. Im sorry they are making you feel guilty for not keeping the dog. I do think some foster parents fail and keep their fosters but the point of fostering is to love and help the dog until you find the perfect home for them. I have found sometimes that although I love the dog and everyone else thinks I should keep the dog I am not the perfect home for that dog. Im quilty of keeping a couple of fosters but have also been successful in finding the best home for the others. You are doing a great thing and you should not feel bad about anything. I hope you find a great home for her and continue to foster because there are so many others that need help.

[YorkieMom6]

I have nothing to add to comments already posted as I believe they share my feelings. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for making the effort to help this little one and in no way should you be pressured to do more (as you are doing above and beyond already) or made to feel guilty.

Personally, I thank you for all that you do!

[mizzwanned]

You're doing such an amazing thing by fostering her. Don't feel bad or guilty. I'm sure that she will get a great home. You're a special person to do this.

[hartygirl]

You are doing something amazing for Angel, and by finding her a FOREVER loving home that is perfect for HER you are going above and beyond.

I am fostering my first pup right now, Ruppi, for YHR and I have learned so much in such a short time. The foremost being the SHOCKING numbers of dogs in need of foster, it is truly alarming. Second, every foster that is taken in WILL find a home after mine that will love them forever. Foster mom's and dad's are the stepping stone to happy ever after and if you can place a pup in the best home possible (not always your home) then you will have room to help another.

Even if you never keep one of your foster pups, you can hold on to the fact that you were their key to happiness. It is because of you that they got on a path to a home. Don't let anyone think that you should keep a pup simply because your home is approved to foster. Plus 2 weeks is a very short time for a pups personality to show. I have had Ruppi for 2 months now and I learn new things about her all the time. In the beginning what I thought would be a perfect home for her to go to now is totally different.

Thank you so much for stepping up and making a difference for that precious baby, when she is being spoiled by people or a person that truly loves her, you will see that all is right with the world Hang in there girl, you know what is right...

[Patti]

Thank you all so much. I feel so much better. I felt so bad i emailed the manger and told her how I felt and she was very sweet telling me she fostered for awhile and ended up keeping 5 and always felt bad for the ones she didn't keep but they all found great homes. She said she found she couldn't foster anymore. She thanked me and said she was happy to have me as a part of the shelter. She does an amazing job at the shelter making the animals the priority. Your posts made me realize that fostering is an important STEP in their journey to a forever home. Thank you so much for the support and sharing your experiences.

[ladyjane]

Patti, I am sorry that I did not see this earlier. I am glad that all is ok now. Fostering IS about helping a pup find his/her forever home. It is a wonderful thing to do for one and there is no reason to feel guilty.
You are doing something that is difficult and at times very heartwrenching. I fall in love with every pup that comes to my home. It is a natural thing.
You are doing something amazing and wonderful for a pup that might not have had any chance at all if not for you.
Kudos to you!

[Patti]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Patti, I am sorry that I did not see this earlier. I am glad that all is ok now. Fostering IS about helping a pup find his/her forever home. It is a wonderful thing to do for one and there is no reason to feel guilty.
You are doing something that is difficult and at times very heartwrenching. I fall in love with every pup that comes to my home. It is a natural thing.
You are doing something amazing and wonderful for a pup that might not have had any chance at all if not for you.
Kudos to you!

Thank you so much, everyone has helped me to feel better about it. I knew all you foster parents could give me your insight.

[Symph2001]

I just applied as a volunteer to my first rescue group and was informed that if I wanted to adopt I needed to do it before the application was accepted as they do not allow foster to adopt unless there are medical issuses with the dog and it's hard to place. i guess it makes it easier to not feel the pressure to have to keep them besides that isn't a foster families job. They are for transition not perminance.

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by Symph2001

I just applied as a volunteer to my first rescue group and was informed that if I wanted to adopt I needed to do it before the application was accepted as they do not allow foster to adopt unless there are medical issuses with the dog and it's hard to place. i guess it makes it easier to not feel the pressure to have to keep them besides that isn't a foster families job. They are for transition not perminance.

What? You mean they will allow you to adopt a sick pup but not a healthy one? If you are good enough to foster, you are good enough to adopt ... especially if they allow you to adopt a sick one. No disrespect to any group, but it just sounds a bit odd to me.

As for pressure....there should never be any pressure on a foster home to adopt. Ever!

[Symph2001]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

What? You mean they will allow you to adopt a sick pup but not a healthy one? If you are good enough to foster, you are good enough to adopt ... especially if they allow you to adopt a sick one. No disrespect to any group, but it just sounds a bit odd to me.

As for pressure....there should never be any pressure on a foster home to adopt. Ever!

Pay absolutely NO attention to what I just said. After i wrote it I started thinking about the conversation and realized i was so wrong!!! I was talking while trying to get a baby changed and let someone else know some information. Multi-tasking is not my friend while trying to discover pertinant information!

We were actually talking about ME personally not any other foster/volunteer. I'M the one who can't foster or adopt because I have an in-home daycare which equals small children which is a no-no. So pay no attention to my previous statement! Thank you and very sorry.

[ladyjane]

Well, honestly, there is a group that does exactly what you described. I was curious to see if it was the same one.
I will not divulge who it is, but suffice it to say I totally disagree with their policies. If a foster home does not agree to adopt a medically needy pup, then a decision is made to euthanize the poor pup. That further puts a guilt trip on the foster home. I guess they feel it is expedient to do this? I have NO idea what kind of minds would think to do such a thing, but suffice it to say I will never work with a group with such policies.
Makes me totally sick to my stomach.
Maybe you cannot foster because they will not allow it due to the child care issue, and maybe this is a different group; but there is a group that does do what you described. Sad world we live in.