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10-22-2009, 06:42 AM | #1 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Chancellor Alabama
Posts: 281
| super sad !! heart broken after all these years my daughter has left to move back in with her dad ! I just don't understand why she left she hated going up on the weekend and now she just left last night and would not even talk to me ....will the pain ever stop.
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10-22-2009, 06:47 AM | #2 |
Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD
Posts: 10,908
| I'm sorry that you are going thru this. Maybe she just wanted to get some space or give you some space? Or maybe she was sensing that her dad needed her in his life? It can not be easy for children in this situation. Sending hugs. Yes, the pain does evenutally subside as they get older they seem to learn that the parents went thru turmoil as well. Hugs to you.
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10-22-2009, 07:00 AM | #3 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Scott City, Missouri
Posts: 1,879
| I am assuming she is a teenager. This too shall pass (she will grow up).
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10-22-2009, 07:13 AM | #4 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: WV
Posts: 309
| Try not to stress out too much because I think all kids that can do this will do it sooner or later especially a girl with her daddy!! She will be back when she gets it out of her system and it might be the best thing that ever happened to both of you!! Don't fight with her and tell her "you love her no matter where she lives" ... she will be back before you know it!! Don't let her have "the best of both worlds" while she is there though ... if she wants to be with her dad let her have the "bad with the good" there too!! Let her dad take care of it all for a little bit!! The worst thing you can do right now is over react!! Just think of it that "it could be a whole lot worse" at least she is with her dad and not missing somewhere or something horrible!! This too will pass. Be good to yourself right now!! |
10-22-2009, 01:28 PM | #5 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 38
| When I was in my young teens, I kept saying how much I wanted to move in with my Mom all the time. Sure, my Mom probably would've given me more freedom, but the one who really cared about me was my Dad. My Mother wanted everything to do with me but refused to take any of the necessary steps to do so. I just recently realized that. Kids will be kids. They make mistakes and learn from them. You just have to give her a little bit of time. I'm awful sorry to hear about all the pain your going through because of it. She probably doesn't know how much she's hurting you. Just do the best you can to support her and she'll remember who really cares. I really hope things start to get better for you.
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10-22-2009, 02:56 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | She will grow out of this phase and one day you will be close again. Sometimes it takes letting someone go to get them back. I Know it must be so heartbreaking right now.
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10-22-2009, 03:11 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| I am so sorry. That has to be terrible, the lossand the rejection. It is just a kid being a kid and has nothing to do with you. I hope you are abel to keep communication open with her, so you can still be an influence in her life. |
10-22-2009, 03:11 PM | #8 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Crawfordsville, IN. USA
Posts: 73
| My daughter did the same thing. Her dad would promise her the moon (freedom) than when she got there it only lasted until she made him mad about something. She's out on her own now but I guess the things I would have changed was me being afraid of not discipling her the way she really needed it for fear of her leaving. (I would change alot of things if I could) She soon found out the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Beleive me, I DO know how you feel...it hurts like crazy but it will pass...I promise!
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10-22-2009, 07:28 PM | #9 |
♥ Ella Belle ♥ Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: NM, United States
Posts: 851
| I just got done being a teenager (technically) and I am assuming that she is a teen.... I used to threaten my mom with moving in with my dad. Don't take it personal. Teenagers have serious problems!!!! No joke lol half of their brain like goes missing or regresses or something weird like that! My advice is to let her have space, and let her realize her mistake on her own- don't put her on a gulit trip or drive her crazy or threaten things.... She will come around You two will work it out. I dread the day I become a mother to a teenager.... I definitely have some bad karma coming lol
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10-22-2009, 07:50 PM | #10 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| I feel for you! Try not to think of it so much as leaving you, maybe she just needs to live with her dad for a bit to reinforce her feelings on that side. As much as it hurts, it may have nothing to do a choice between the two of you. She may feel more secure of her relationship with you but not so much with dad. Maybe she feels some time with him might give her the feeling he loves her. I think every child not living with one parent or another, will question their love from the absent one. Moving in with him for a while may ease those fears and also reinforce her need to be back with you. Of course then again, it might be that she is rebelling against your authority. Every daughter goes through that I think. Unfortunately, in a divorce, it gives them another "out" to go to instead of working through it at home. I hope you are able to talk seriously with her dad and lay down some ground rules. You can't let her think she can just bounce back and forth whenever she might be displeased with a parenting decision. I hope the dad will work with you on this. If it helps, I think every daughter has some phase where they do not get along with mom. I must have given my mom fits as a teen, but I love her endlessly! I really appreciated how she was strict with me after all was said and done. But at the time, I would never thought like that. Life was just not fair! I could always pout with the best of them. Best of luck with working through this with your daughter.
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10-22-2009, 07:52 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,268
| So sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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10-23-2009, 01:55 PM | #12 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: ~*~YorkieWorld~*~
Posts: 8,428
| so sorry to hear that, she will be back it just a matter of time, because mom is only ONE, no matter how good or bad they are, the umbilical cord is always there, when she realize how good she had it with you, and seat down and think; hugs keep the faith hon.
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10-24-2009, 07:57 AM | #13 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| awwww I'm so sorry. I did that to my mom too.... I left her without a word and moved in with my dad. I know I broke her heart and hurt her feelings big time, but I was young and angry back then. I got over it and my mom and I have a good relationship now, and have for awhile. It seems being a parent is the most thankless, emotionally painful job you'll ever have in your life. I don't know if your pain will heal, but your daughter will grow up, mature and your relationship will get better, that will be when you heal. (((HUGS)))
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10-24-2009, 01:47 PM | #14 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Crofton, MD, USA
Posts: 1,522
| Is your daughter a teenager? It might be the whole teenage-rebellion thing. It might actually bring the two of you closer in the long run. |
10-24-2009, 02:01 PM | #15 |
My Sweet Cupcake Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: New York
Posts: 4,390
| Sorry for your pain. Spending you healing thoughts.
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