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09-20-2009, 02:11 PM | #1 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | I have an odd question - could use some help I have a question I debated on posting about. But I'm serious in trying to find words for a particular situation. (it's only because it just happened again walking my girls that I decided to ask) I've been asked way too many times lately by total strangers and or men at my apartment complex if I'm married. Lots of you know my husband died and it's strange to be asked that. I never know how to answer. I'm starting to despise that question. What I WANT to say is None of your freakin business but - they're sometimes neighbors - sometimes strangers - and I don't want to be a b*tch about answering ..... I want to say I'm married but that would be a lie ....then again, it would convey that someone lives with me ....(I'm not used to being alone and a bit paranoid) ...but still a lie ....and I don't lie I don't use the word 'widowed' cause I just find it too hard to say ...and I don't want someone thinking I'm alone and an easy target. I don't think telling a total stranger my husband died is right either ...for the same reasons. Again.... it's none of their business ! any ideas ?- I need a standard answer because every time I get asked that stupid question I get a little resentful they asked ....and don't quite know how to answer it. Thanks - This isn't normal for me to come ask questions like this so I feel kind of funny asking ....
__________________ Last edited by red98vett; 09-20-2009 at 02:12 PM. |
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09-20-2009, 02:15 PM | #2 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | one I'd love to say is : "yes I'm married - haven't you ever seen my husband ?? He's 6'7 and built like a pro wrestler.....I can't believe you haven't seen him around with your NOSY SELF" |
09-20-2009, 02:20 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member | Your personal life is no ones business. I feel strongly about that. I didnt marry until I was 33 years old. I was Miss Independent. If I were you, I would tell them that you do have a special someone. Your husband will always be with you & God is by your side too. This way, you are not lying. |
09-20-2009, 02:23 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,982
| Red, I would just tell them no I am not married but I am not interested. You need to be truthful and go with what your heart tells you. When you are ready you will know... |
09-20-2009, 02:26 PM | #5 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
Wow - just asking the question outright really helped - and you're like me - it's different with people you connect to when asked that kind of question.... but I really HATE when a total stranger does it. Not even good looking total strangers either which wouldn't matter - I'm still married in my head. | |
09-20-2009, 02:27 PM | #6 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
if I said what my heart says - they'd want to kick my butt
__________________ Last edited by red98vett; 09-20-2009 at 02:29 PM. Reason: forgot my manners | |
09-20-2009, 02:29 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| In this case to protect yourself would it really hurt to lie? It's only a sin to lie if it hurts someone. Who is this hurting. Unless of course the guy looks interesting, then you could mention that your son lives with you. I would say go ahead and say yes. Or wear a ring? I knolw a lot of widows who wear their wedding rings, just to keep the wolves at bay. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. |
09-20-2009, 02:39 PM | #9 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | This same question could apply to any woman living alone - how do you all handle it ? I know I'm hypersensitive about it because I've never lived alone before - but there has to be lots of you that do - how do you all handle it gracefully ? This last time it happened was just an hour ago ...I stood there for a full 30 seconds debating on how to answer without being rude - he's a new neighbor but still - I don't trust anyone these days especially now that I'm living in an apartment vs my house. |
09-20-2009, 02:47 PM | #10 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
though I can flip them off while showing my ring right ? and you have a point - I guess saying I'm married would be easy enough. I keep a low profile where I live and I guess I shouldn't let this get to me but it really did more today than other times. | |
09-20-2009, 02:49 PM | #11 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | hahaha well aren't YOU a big help ! I really do want to have a standard line that would shut them up AND not know I'm alone |
09-20-2009, 02:59 PM | #12 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | only because my first post was so long I didn't mention this - but right before The Nosy new neighbor asked me that question right out of the blue - the girls and I had walked by 2 men at their cars - they started towards me and one asks if the they were Yorkies....I DID lie ....I said "yes they are but they bite" (only cause the other guy was walking toward me too fast) they don't bite but I sure stopped them in their tracks I live in a pretty small complex - where are these jerks coming from ? |
09-20-2009, 03:01 PM | #13 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
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09-20-2009, 03:03 PM | #14 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Yorkieville
Posts: 2,860
| V, after my husband passed away I always wore my ring which helped to keep people from asking that question, but once I had gotten to know that person would I then explain what the circumstances were. I don't think it is telling a fib, because I always continued to feel married in my heart. |
09-20-2009, 03:19 PM | #15 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
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