Please tell me I'm not going crazy! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Krystee · 08-25-2009, 11:51 AM

I need to rant and get some perspective on this because I am so irritated. I'm sure this is a boring story to everyone but I just need to get it out because I get so frustrated!

Okay, I started back to school today and I am enrolled in an Algebra class so I have to have a graphing calculator. I have/had one but my sister called me last semester and asked to borrow it and I was like, "yea sure, of course." So she came and picked it up.

Well, I called her last week and told her that I needed my calculator back and that I would be picking it up this week and she said okay.

Okay, I need to explain,my sister is 23 and still lives with my parents with no bills except for a car payment (which she didn't even have that until a week ago). She has a job that does pay 10/hr but she works MAYBE 10 hours a week, if that, but she does go to school. She did have an older car that was paid off but she recently got a newer car and has a car payment now. I'm not sure how she is doing that with as little as she works and I suspect that my parents are helping her out.

So anyway, I go to my parents house to pick up my calculator and my sister isn't there so my mom calls her and asks where it is. She says its in her room on her nightstand. I go in there to get it and pick it up and realize that it's not my calculator. It's not even a graphing calculator, it's a scientific calculator. I go in the living room and tell my mom and she tell me to call my sister. I call her and she kinda gets an attitude and is like, "Well, I don't know.... I looked around forever and that's the only one I could find.... you can go in my room and look around but I don't know where it is right now." She didn't even apologize, she didn't offer to get me another one.... nothing. I just bite my tongue and tell her to look some more when she gets home because I really need it.

So I'm pretty angry and my mom goes, "we'll just get you another one, how much do they cost?". I told her around $100 and she's like "no way"... and I say "yes they are". I told her that I think I got mine on ebay so it might have been a little cheaper and went and pulled up a listing of one just like mine to show her what it looks like.

I'm pretty angry but not trying to show it and my mom just tell me that she will buy me another one. I get home and she tells me that she's going to order one on ebay and I tell her that she needs to make sure that they offer fast shipping because I need it asap.

She calls me back and says that she found out that ships priority and that she is going to order it and I say okay. Then she says, "you better stay in this class" and makes it sound like I should be thankful that she is buying me this calculator. I said, "I had a calculator and if Tiffany hadn't lost it then you wouldn't need to buy another one"....she says, "That doesn't have anything to do with me, I didn't lose it"... I said, "I know, that's why you should make her pay for it".. her, "Yeah, like she has any money"... me, "make her pay you back in payments".. her, "she can't even afford that".

So that's the story. I am irritated because my sister does stuff like this all the time and has NO consequences for it at all. I bite my tongue and don't say anything to her because if I do she will get an attitude which will make my blood boil and I'll say things I shouldn't. My mom just recently got on my butt about some stuff that isn't any of her business... I am married and my husband and I own our house and have our own life. However, my sister is the golden child. She loses something of mine and my mom steps in and buys another one. Yes, I appreciate that she bought me another one but she should make my sister pay her back or work around the house to pay it off. If I get angry and express this to my mom, my mom just makes excuses for her and makes me feel like I'm overreacting and being stupid. It's not just about the calculator.... my sister does stuff like this all the time and doesn't even feel bad.

If you were in my shoes would you be angry too? I mean, don't I have the right to be angry about this? Thank god I have my husband (and fellow YTers

) to talk to to keep me sane. lol

Sorry for the super long rant, I feel better now that I have gotten that out.

suzieqnova · 08-25-2009, 12:00 PM

I can see why you are irritated! That's irresponsibility on your sister's part. How the heck is she going to learn to be responsible when she is constantly being bailed out.

Krystee · 08-25-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzieqnova

I can see why you are irritated! That's irresponsibility on your sister's part. How the heck is she going to learn to be responsible when she is constantly being bailed out.

Thank you!

That's EXACTLY what I was talking to my husband about. She needs to learn responsibility big time!

Rerun201 · 08-25-2009, 12:13 PM

Wow, I can totally understand your frustration on this one!!! I have a sister a lot like yours, except she doesn't even bother pretending to work anymore. She's 45 years old, has 3 kids by 2 different men, lives with my parents, has stolen from them and anyone else she can, and yet she is the golden child. Nothing is ever her fault. Her kids were basically raised by my parents, and none of them amounted to a thing. None of that is her fault either. Sad to say, but it's come to the point that I no longer have a relationship with any of them, not even my parents. Spent years trying to make it work but it just wouldn't.
I hope your situation has a happier ending, but please know that you are completely justified in being furious with your sister. Sounds like she needs a serious dose of real life to teach her a lesson or two.
I hope your class goes well, and good for you for being the adult!!

Krystee · 08-25-2009, 01:13 PM

Thank you so much for your responses... sometimes you get caught up in the craziness of your family and need some outside perspective. I feel much better now

capt_noonie · 08-25-2009, 06:53 PM

You have every reason to be angry, i would be. I can't believe your sis is being such a spoiled brat, and that your mom is basically making it okay.

I agree with Rerun, my older sis has had her string of problems. She is now 35, on her 2nd husband (who we have never even met), and is always crying to my parents for money. she even asks my little bro. Come to find out from my mom that used it to get botox! Come on, she's 35 and we're asian, she doens't need botox! She cried to my dad for money for the mortgage (with her 1st husband) for a house they ended up foreclosing on anyway.

I just hope that your parent's babying your sis like that will not lead her to grow up into this kind of "adult" like my sister. Seriously, you will end up losing out on your relationship with them, just like I did, and just like how Rerun has stated. Sad.

Anyway, you are a good person to bite your tongue, good luck with everything.

Rerun201 · 08-26-2009, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capt_noonie

You have every reason to be angry, i would be. I can't believe your sis is being such a spoiled brat, and that your mom is basically making it okay.

I agree with Rerun, my older sis has had her string of problems. She is now 35, on her 2nd husband (who we have never even met), and is always crying to my parents for money. she even asks my little bro. Come to find out from my mom that used it to get botox! Come on, she's 35 and we're asian, she doens't need botox! She cried to my dad for money for the mortgage (with her 1st husband) for a house they ended up foreclosing on anyway.

I just hope that your parent's babying your sis like that will not lead her to grow up into this kind of "adult" like my sister. Seriously, you will end up losing out on your relationship with them, just like I did, and just like how Rerun has stated. Sad.

Anyway, you are a good person to bite your tongue, good luck with everything.

Wow, sounds like our sisters could be related. I have to tell you I laughed right out loud at the botox line.

I have finally come to the belief that in the end we're the lucky ones, we're strong enough to make it in life on our own. I figure it's their loss at this point.

diane boden · 08-26-2009, 10:15 AM

Know just what you mean. My brother was the only boy after 4 girls and the youngest and he could never doi anything wrong. Even when he stole money from me it would be my fault for leaving it lying around. He never stayed in work for long, even ruined a really well paid job where he worked away from home, he and a couple of collegues got drunk and reaked the common area at the B&B they were staying at.
He never remembers birthdays but my mom still insits we send him one. He only ever used to come to our house to dump his kids off for my mom to look after, it was getting to be 4-5 days a week during the holidays. I finally had enough of comming home from work to spend another 4 hours entertaining his kids, then he'd be borrowing money all the time. So I said enough, now we hardly see them, now theres a surprise- not.

TeresaM · 08-27-2009, 04:58 AM

It's a hard lesson to learn, one I learned a long time ago, but don't lend anything you don't want back or are not worried if it comes back in working order.

Now I only lend out things or money with the thought in my mind that it's a 'gift'. If I get it back, great! If I don't no loss as I was giving it out without the expectation of getting it back. If you can't lend it with this thought, then don't lend it out. Regardless if it family or friends. Keep it simple, "Sorry, no, I'm not able to lend that out." At first it's tough to say and stick to it, but it gets easier as time goes on. Just stick to your guns and don't let anyone pressure you into changing your mind.

URAQT1976 · 08-27-2009, 06:50 AM

I totally understand where you are coming from Krystee. And yes, you do have every right to get mad and upset with your sister but at the same time, if this is a normal behavior for she, then something should have told you to expect something like this to happen. I'm not saying that its right, by any means. I have learned that it doesn't help to get mad at someone for being themselves, especially when there thoughtless, selfish, spoiled, and just down right irresponsible with other people's things and feeling because at the end of the day, the only person who ends up getting upset and/or hurt is you. I have gone through crap like this with my family all of me life, now 33 yrs of age, and it's gotten to the point where I've told them that the things that they are doing hurt me cause it seems to me that they don't care about me or my stuff and if you can't or wont change that about yourself then I can't and don't want be around you cause my wishes and feeling aren't important to you. I know its hard and maybe down right mean, especially when its people you love and care about, but if you don't respect yourself then no one will.

Cinq1964 · 08-27-2009, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeresaM

It's a hard lesson to learn, one I learned a long time ago, but don't lend anything you don't want back or are not worried if it comes back in working order.

Now I only lend out things or money with the thought in my mind that it's a 'gift'. If I get it back, great! If I don't no loss as I was giving it out without the expectation of getting it back. If you can't lend it with this thought, then don't lend it out. Regardless if it family or friends. Keep it simple, "Sorry, no, I'm not able to lend that out." At first it's tough to say and stick to it, but it gets easier as time goes on. Just stick to your guns and don't let anyone pressure you into changing your mind.

Totally agree with TeresaM. I just won't lend it out or if you do, don't expect it back. I would have to make so excuse, maybe, don't know where it is, someone else is using it, etc. I know it is frustrating, but hope it will get better for you!

Dina_Nichole · 08-27-2009, 07:14 AM

I can definately relate to you in this situation. Just recently my sister broke her cell phone and asked to borrow mine because she only has a cell phone and no house phone. I ended up giving her my phone and ended up with $350 of charges because she went over my minutes and texted like crazy. Here's the real kicker......she doesn't think she did anything wrong.

Still hasn't said she's sorry and will not pay the bill.

Go figure but she's actually almost 3 years older than me.

celstu1 · 08-27-2009, 07:39 AM

I have a brother like that....as the saying goes.... "The squeaky wheel always gets the oil!"

tmrhkr · 08-27-2009, 04:52 PM

I think your sister might be related to my step daughter. She showed up on our door step last year after having next to no contact with this entire family for a year. She now living with dh's parents. She has gone through atleast four jobs that she gets and then lies about quiting. She hasn't worked since June. Dh got a cell phone for her last Novermber with the understanding that she would pay the bill. That worked for two months. I have told him that I will pay the early termination fee but I am not going to pay for her cell phone bill because she won't keep a job. On top of this my in laws just bought her Mustang. She is too cute to be seen driving around in her great grandmothers Dodge Shadow. She doesn't have a job, can't pay her cell phone bill but deserves a Mustang! My husband had to attend high school and work nearly 30 hours a week to pay for his car but yet his parents allow her to loaf and drive around in a Mustang that she can't pay for. I makes my blood boil! She still gets pedicures and wants to shop at Victoria Secret. She only shows up at our house (2 miles away) when we are going on vacation or have tickets to a concert or water park. I gets so frustrated with her. She just batts her eye lashes and shakes her size two tush and thinks she should get what ever she wants.. And so far it has worked with my in laws. She even laughs that her poppop does her laundry for her. She has lied about where she has been or done and there are no repercussions for her what so ever....ok my rant is over.. blood pressure is now up... must breathe....s l o w l y...

I am just glad that she doesn't live under my roof.. (thank god for small houses).. she should be glad she doesn't live under my roof!

08-25-2009, 11:51 AM	#1
Krystee Tobie's Mommy Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 901	Please tell me I'm not going crazy! I need to rant and get some perspective on this because I am so irritated. I'm sure this is a boring story to everyone but I just need to get it out because I get so frustrated! Okay, I started back to school today and I am enrolled in an Algebra class so I have to have a graphing calculator. I have/had one but my sister called me last semester and asked to borrow it and I was like, "yea sure, of course." So she came and picked it up. Well, I called her last week and told her that I needed my calculator back and that I would be picking it up this week and she said okay. Okay, I need to explain,my sister is 23 and still lives with my parents with no bills except for a car payment (which she didn't even have that until a week ago). She has a job that does pay 10/hr but she works MAYBE 10 hours a week, if that, but she does go to school. She did have an older car that was paid off but she recently got a newer car and has a car payment now. I'm not sure how she is doing that with as little as she works and I suspect that my parents are helping her out. So anyway, I go to my parents house to pick up my calculator and my sister isn't there so my mom calls her and asks where it is. She says its in her room on her nightstand. I go in there to get it and pick it up and realize that it's not my calculator. It's not even a graphing calculator, it's a scientific calculator. I go in the living room and tell my mom and she tell me to call my sister. I call her and she kinda gets an attitude and is like, "Well, I don't know.... I looked around forever and that's the only one I could find.... you can go in my room and look around but I don't know where it is right now." She didn't even apologize, she didn't offer to get me another one.... nothing. I just bite my tongue and tell her to look some more when she gets home because I really need it. So I'm pretty angry and my mom goes, "we'll just get you another one, how much do they cost?". I told her around $100 and she's like "no way"... and I say "yes they are". I told her that I think I got mine on ebay so it might have been a little cheaper and went and pulled up a listing of one just like mine to show her what it looks like. I'm pretty angry but not trying to show it and my mom just tell me that she will buy me another one. I get home and she tells me that she's going to order one on ebay and I tell her that she needs to make sure that they offer fast shipping because I need it asap. She calls me back and says that she found out that ships priority and that she is going to order it and I say okay. Then she says, "you better stay in this class" and makes it sound like I should be thankful that she is buying me this calculator. I said, "I had a calculator and if Tiffany hadn't lost it then you wouldn't need to buy another one"....she says, "That doesn't have anything to do with me, I didn't lose it"... I said, "I know, that's why you should make her pay for it".. her, "Yeah, like she has any money"... me, "make her pay you back in payments".. her, "she can't even afford that". So that's the story. I am irritated because my sister does stuff like this all the time and has NO consequences for it at all. I bite my tongue and don't say anything to her because if I do she will get an attitude which will make my blood boil and I'll say things I shouldn't. My mom just recently got on my butt about some stuff that isn't any of her business... I am married and my husband and I own our house and have our own life. However, my sister is the golden child. She loses something of mine and my mom steps in and buys another one. Yes, I appreciate that she bought me another one but she should make my sister pay her back or work around the house to pay it off. If I get angry and express this to my mom, my mom just makes excuses for her and makes me feel like I'm overreacting and being stupid. It's not just about the calculator.... my sister does stuff like this all the time and doesn't even feel bad. If you were in my shoes would you be angry too? I mean, don't I have the right to be angry about this? Thank god I have my husband (and fellow YTers ) to talk to to keep me sane. lol Sorry for the super long rant, I feel better now that I have gotten that out. __________________ [CENTER]Mama to 1 skin baby & 2 fur babies [B]Arilynn Marie Tobie Teddington Dash

08-25-2009, 12:00 PM	#2
suzieqnova Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: PA. Posts: 201	I can see why you are irritated! That's irresponsibility on your sister's part. How the heck is she going to learn to be responsible when she is constantly being bailed out. __________________ Emmitt & Chrissy

08-25-2009, 12:13 PM	#4
Rerun201 ♥Owned by Toby & Lola♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 524	Wow, I can totally understand your frustration on this one!!! I have a sister a lot like yours, except she doesn't even bother pretending to work anymore. She's 45 years old, has 3 kids by 2 different men, lives with my parents, has stolen from them and anyone else she can, and yet she is the golden child. Nothing is ever her fault. Her kids were basically raised by my parents, and none of them amounted to a thing. None of that is her fault either. Sad to say, but it's come to the point that I no longer have a relationship with any of them, not even my parents. Spent years trying to make it work but it just wouldn't. I hope your situation has a happier ending, but please know that you are completely justified in being furious with your sister. Sounds like she needs a serious dose of real life to teach her a lesson or two. I hope your class goes well, and good for you for being the adult!! __________________ Becky, Toby and Lola

08-25-2009, 01:13 PM	#5
Krystee Tobie's Mommy Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 901	Thank you so much for your responses... sometimes you get caught up in the craziness of your family and need some outside perspective. I feel much better now __________________ [CENTER]Mama to 1 skin baby & 2 fur babies [B]Arilynn Marie Tobie Teddington Dash

08-25-2009, 06:53 PM	#6
capt_noonie www.yorkierescue.com Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Las Vegas & Orange County Posts: 17,408	You have every reason to be angry, i would be. I can't believe your sis is being such a spoiled brat, and that your mom is basically making it okay. I agree with Rerun, my older sis has had her string of problems. She is now 35, on her 2nd husband (who we have never even met), and is always crying to my parents for money. she even asks my little bro. Come to find out from my mom that used it to get botox! Come on, she's 35 and we're asian, she doens't need botox! She cried to my dad for money for the mortgage (with her 1st husband) for a house they ended up foreclosing on anyway. I just hope that your parent's babying your sis like that will not lead her to grow up into this kind of "adult" like my sister. Seriously, you will end up losing out on your relationship with them, just like I did, and just like how Rerun has stated. Sad. Anyway, you are a good person to bite your tongue, good luck with everything. __________________ The T.U.B. Pack! Toto, Uni, & Bindi RIP Lord Scrappington Montgomery McLimpybottom aka El Lenguo the Handicapped Ninja 10-12-12

08-26-2009, 10:15 AM	#8
diane boden YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: england Posts: 676 Blog Entries: 23	Know just what you mean. My brother was the only boy after 4 girls and the youngest and he could never doi anything wrong. Even when he stole money from me it would be my fault for leaving it lying around. He never stayed in work for long, even ruined a really well paid job where he worked away from home, he and a couple of collegues got drunk and reaked the common area at the B&B they were staying at. He never remembers birthdays but my mom still insits we send him one. He only ever used to come to our house to dump his kids off for my mom to look after, it was getting to be 4-5 days a week during the holidays. I finally had enough of comming home from work to spend another 4 hours entertaining his kids, then he'd be borrowing money all the time. So I said enough, now we hardly see them, now theres a surprise- not.

08-27-2009, 04:58 AM	#9
TeresaM Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: TX Posts: 3,358	It's a hard lesson to learn, one I learned a long time ago, but don't lend anything you don't want back or are not worried if it comes back in working order. Now I only lend out things or money with the thought in my mind that it's a 'gift'. If I get it back, great! If I don't no loss as I was giving it out without the expectation of getting it back. If you can't lend it with this thought, then don't lend it out. Regardless if it family or friends. Keep it simple, "Sorry, no, I'm not able to lend that out." At first it's tough to say and stick to it, but it gets easier as time goes on. Just stick to your guns and don't let anyone pressure you into changing your mind. __________________ If you think dogs can't count, put 3 biscuits in your pocket, then give him only 2. Gracie Ruth & Boo & Yogi & RIP Annie B. & Bonnie Lane

08-27-2009, 06:50 AM	#10
URAQT1976 Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Lubbock Posts: 21	Spoiled Siblings I totally understand where you are coming from Krystee. And yes, you do have every right to get mad and upset with your sister but at the same time, if this is a normal behavior for she, then something should have told you to expect something like this to happen. I'm not saying that its right, by any means. I have learned that it doesn't help to get mad at someone for being themselves, especially when there thoughtless, selfish, spoiled, and just down right irresponsible with other people's things and feeling because at the end of the day, the only person who ends up getting upset and/or hurt is you. I have gone through crap like this with my family all of me life, now 33 yrs of age, and it's gotten to the point where I've told them that the things that they are doing hurt me cause it seems to me that they don't care about me or my stuff and if you can't or wont change that about yourself then I can't and don't want be around you cause my wishes and feeling aren't important to you. I know its hard and maybe down right mean, especially when its people you love and care about, but if you don't respect yourself then no one will. __________________ Ms. Hershie's Mama

08-27-2009, 07:14 AM	#12
Dina_Nichole I Love My Munchkins! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: My Babies ♥'s! Posts: 8,765	I can definately relate to you in this situation. Just recently my sister broke her cell phone and asked to borrow mine because she only has a cell phone and no house phone. I ended up giving her my phone and ended up with $350 of charges because she went over my minutes and texted like crazy. Here's the real kicker......she doesn't think she did anything wrong. Still hasn't said she's sorry and will not pay the bill. Go figure but she's actually almost 3 years older than me. __________________ I My Lil Furballs!! Pia Mojo ~ Trixie Murphy ~ Paisley Max

08-27-2009, 07:39 AM	#13
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	I have a brother like that....as the saying goes.... "The squeaky wheel always gets the oil!" __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

08-27-2009, 04:52 PM	#14
tmrhkr Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Delaware Posts: 55	I think your sister might be related to my step daughter. She showed up on our door step last year after having next to no contact with this entire family for a year. She now living with dh's parents. She has gone through atleast four jobs that she gets and then lies about quiting. She hasn't worked since June. Dh got a cell phone for her last Novermber with the understanding that she would pay the bill. That worked for two months. I have told him that I will pay the early termination fee but I am not going to pay for her cell phone bill because she won't keep a job. On top of this my in laws just bought her Mustang. She is too cute to be seen driving around in her great grandmothers Dodge Shadow. She doesn't have a job, can't pay her cell phone bill but deserves a Mustang! My husband had to attend high school and work nearly 30 hours a week to pay for his car but yet his parents allow her to loaf and drive around in a Mustang that she can't pay for. I makes my blood boil! She still gets pedicures and wants to shop at Victoria Secret. She only shows up at our house (2 miles away) when we are going on vacation or have tickets to a concert or water park. I gets so frustrated with her. She just batts her eye lashes and shakes her size two tush and thinks she should get what ever she wants.. And so far it has worked with my in laws. She even laughs that her poppop does her laundry for her. She has lied about where she has been or done and there are no repercussions for her what so ever....ok my rant is over.. blood pressure is now up... must breathe....s l o w l y... I am just glad that she doesn't live under my roof.. (thank god for small houses).. she should be glad she doesn't live under my roof!