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Old 09-20-2005, 08:05 AM   #1
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Default Bad News Today!!!!!!!!!!

I just got off the phone with a really good friend of ours. He went through a divorce this time last year anyway, he has dated a few women since. The first woman he dated after his divorce is dying, they only dated for a couple of months and he liked her a lot but, he just wasn't ready for a ready made family. She has 2 girls. One 9 years old and thd other 16 or 17 years old.

Sorry getting off of the subject. She is a really nice person. We spent a little time together went to her house for dinner and went to Russell's our friend for dinner and just to hang out several times. Ethan loves going to Russell's house he has a big screen tv and Russell lets him watch cartoons on it.

Sorry I can't seem to stay on topic. When I first met her she was telling me that she had Melanoma(sp) within the last couple of years. But that she had the treatment and was fine. She is only 40 maybe 41 at the oldest. Way too young.

Russell, told me that she had surgey a few weeks back because she had cancer in her spine and they did surgery to remove it. Well she had been home for a little while and they had to take her to the ER and they have since sent her home with hospice. She now has it in her liver. I don't know if anyone knows this or not but, once it gets in the liver there is absolutely nothing that they can do. He told me he went over to her house last night because she had been asking about him I know it was one of the hardest things that he has had to do. Her family told him that she had basically been comatose but when he came in she started talking to him and he would lean down so he could hear her because she has to whisper and she would kiss him every time. She is only 40 maybe 41 at the oldest. Way too young. She has two girls one 9 years old the same age as my son and one 16 or 17 years old. I feel so sorry for them.

Needless to say when he went home he told me he just sat & cried I felt so sorry for him. I told him even though things did not work out for them that I know that he cares for her and I knew that this was going to be hard on him. He said he also got drunk which I don't really blame him.

Anyway, I told him if he needed anything to please let me know. He says that he is planning on going back over there sometime later on today. I told him that if he didn't want to go by himself that I would go with him.

He said he would let me know. If he does want me to I will. Because he is one of our best friends and Ethan absolutely loves him. I would do anything I could for him. If that means going over there with him if he needs me I will.

The reason this will be so difficult for me is my grandmother died 4 years ago on my birthday. She first had ovarian cancer and then was in remission for 5 or 6 years and then it came back in her pancreas and a year later she was in the hospital and they did test and it was in her liver.

We did hospice at home with her. When it really hit me was when they brought her home from the hospital. My first cousin and I sat outside my grandparents house and cried until we couldn't cry. I was as close to my grandmother as I am to my own mother so this was extremely hard for me. I spent all of my summers with my grandparents when I was my son age even younger. My mom was in & out of the hospital a lot so I stayed with them.

OMG I can't believe how I'm just rambling on I don't blame any of you if you don't want to read this. Because I know it's so long. This has just brought up too many painful memories.
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Old 09-20-2005, 08:11 AM   #2
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Sorry I just reread this and I repeated myself a couple of times. Look over me.
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Old 09-20-2005, 08:22 AM   #3
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Oh..No..your not rambling so much that we don't want to read..
Bless your heart..

I do understand..this past year has been really a hard one for me...I explained some of that in the thread.."Will you Always Own a Yorkie"...

I know...Life changes on a Dime~

But..I do know you'll be o.k...having gone through some of this already...with a loss..you will be able to offer some strength to your good friend....
This is so sad..and seems so unfair...

Life is full of Unfair...and I use to try to make sense of it all...and can't. But, I have come to a point in my life...
That I believe everything happens for a reason...
We are all hear to either learn something or teach something or both...

I'm thinking of you ..and your friend today...
Next time you see him...I know you'll hug him a bit tighter...
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Old 09-20-2005, 08:40 AM   #4
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Sheila,
Your friend needs you right now and I know this is terribly hard for you. I totally understand how you feel about all those "memories"! My Dad, [best friend, "buddy", etc.] died of an anurism a little over 20 years ago and it was such a shock [still is] and the memory was so painful and vivid, I wouldn't even drive past the hospital for a long, long time. The first time I was "forced" to walk through the doors of that hospital, I almost went into shock! But, for my Mom [who was the patient], I had to! Although, unfortunately, I have had to do that more times than I care to remember over these past 20 years, you can do it for someone you love! I just keep whispering, "I love you, Daddy", every time I have to go there. You can do it!! Maybe you can begin to feel as I do .... Daddy would be proud of my strength [like his] just as your grandmother would be proud of yours!! God bless you and we will be praying for you, your friend and for his friend & her children through this trying time!
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Old 09-20-2005, 10:11 AM   #5
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You aren't rambling, you are just trying to make sense of something that seems senseless to you. You are a good friend to Russell, he is lucky to have you around. I hope that you can be strong for him, as he is being strong for her. You're in my thoughts.
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Old 09-20-2005, 10:32 AM   #6
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Aww you poor thing..and your friends. I am going to pray for you and your friends.
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Old 09-20-2005, 11:16 AM   #7
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Life sucks so much sometimes ...that was so sad to read. I'm so sorry about your friend and yes - that is FAR too young. Hugs to you - I'm really sorry
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Old 09-20-2005, 01:06 PM   #8
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Life really amazes me some time because on Friday I just found out that my granny has pancreatic cancer that has spread to spots on her liver. She has been ill for the past two years, with a heart attack then a few strokes. They are not sure how long she has to live- But I do know that cancer isn’t very picky about who it picks or what age its recipients are. All we can do is stay strong for the survivors and the family members who need us!
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Old 09-20-2005, 01:37 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeniferlee
Life really amazes me some time because on Friday I just found out that my granny has pancreatic cancer that has spread to spots on her liver. She has been ill for the past two years, with a heart attack then a few strokes. They are not sure how long she has to live- But I do know that cancer isn’t very picky about who it picks or what age its recipients are. All we can do is stay strong for the survivors and the family members who need us!

I'm so sorry to hear that. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers. With my grandmother they told us that her liver looked like swiss cheese. They also say that once it gets to the liver that there is nothing that they can do. It really sucks and this is such a horrible disease. No one really knows unless you have seen it first hand. Whatever you can imagine it is always worse.

Again I'm sorry. Just try and hang in there.
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:31 PM   #10
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You are such a kind hearted person! Your friend will need you now more than ever. I have lost 2 of my family members to cancer, it is so hard to have to watch someone that means so much to you die..I wish you and your friend the best of luck while having to deal with such a horrible thing. You and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong for your friend he will need your shoulder
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:38 PM   #11
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You are definately not rambling, I know just how he feels, as a week and a half ago we lost a very dear uncle to cancer and just hours before, 16hrs to be exact, his mom, my grandmother also past. This past friday we had a joint funeral for both of them. My uncle was just 60 and way to young to go thru this. His kids are really beside themselves and his widow is the most wonderfull woman in the world and she really doesn't deserve this either. So we have been doing a lot of grieving the past 2 weeks.
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Old 09-21-2005, 09:33 AM   #12
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I want to thank everyone for all of your kind words. Russell went by yesterday to see Lana again and he said she was basically comatose. They sent her home over a week ago for hospice and told them that 2 weeks was it.

I hate this. Russell seems to be holding up pretty well as well as can be expected he tends to be a very private person and doesn't shows his emotions a whole lot.

I know with my grandmother that the Monday before she died I talked to her on the phone after spending a week with her. I just couldn't stay there and watch her get weaker and weaker. Anyway when I talked to her she was so lucid and that was the last day that she was and she was gone 3 days later.

I told Russell that the most important thing right now is that she is in no paid at all.

Just wanted to give everyone an update.

Thanks again for listening.[/
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Old 09-21-2005, 09:40 AM   #13
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OMG! That is horrible. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers
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Old 09-21-2005, 08:00 PM   #14
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This is so sad. And what is even sadder is that there will be so many of us who will join her in that diagnosis because we were such sun worshipers in our teens. Long before we knew what was so bad about it. I am gonna preach here! Go to a dermatologist at least once a year and have your body checked WELL! I know we have age spots, AK, moles and warts (saggy boobs too but that won't kill us unless they embarrass us to death standing in front of a doc buck nekked). I do this and have not been this year. This will be my reminder.
I will pray that your friend's friend is allowed to "give up the ghost" (an old WV phrase) and can die peacefully. Her children are so young and they will need such support.. In my area there is a camp for kids who have lost a parent or grandparent--Camp Knabi..
The most you can do for your friend is be there. Do not worry about saying the right thing. Cry with him! Smile with him! But, remember, you have to take care of the grief within your life that have been brought back up. Don't think you "have to be strong" being there for him whether strong or weak is the important thing.
Remember, we will be praying for you and your friend as you traverse this sda highway.
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Old 09-22-2005, 05:30 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whispersmom2
This is so sad. And what is even sadder is that there will be so many of us who will join her in that diagnosis because we were such sun worshipers in our teens. Long before we knew what was so bad about it. I am gonna preach here! Go to a dermatologist at least once a year and have your body checked WELL! I know we have age spots, AK, moles and warts (saggy boobs too but that won't kill us unless they embarrass us to death standing in front of a doc buck nekked). I do this and have not been this year. This will be my reminder.
I will pray that your friend's friend is allowed to "give up the ghost" (an old WV phrase) and can die peacefully. Her children are so young and they will need such support.. In my area there is a camp for kids who have lost a parent or grandparent--Camp Knabi..
The most you can do for your friend is be there. Do not worry about saying the right thing. Cry with him! Smile with him! But, remember, you have to take care of the grief within your life that have been brought back up. Don't think you "have to be strong" being there for him whether strong or weak is the important thing.
Remember, we will be praying for you and your friend as you traverse this sda highway.

Thank you so much. I'm orginiall from VA close to WV and I haven't heard that phrase in a long time. Are you from WV?
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