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07-02-2009, 06:56 PM | #1 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Tucson,AZ, USA
Posts: 25
| Need to vent...badly Many of you know me in the breeding section....I've had a horrible past week... I've been SO run down, I'm tired at 5:00PM & I've been going to bed at 7:00PM.My 15 year old daughter Kierah has greatly disappointed me by not telling me that she has been sneaking out of the house to her boyfriend's, to have sex with him. My 13 year old, Natalie, has been in on it too. I feel so dumb for not knowing anything about it. She refuses to go see the GYN, I'd feel SO much better if she did, but I don't how to make her go without ruining our relationship. Kierah is threatening to move in with my ex in LA & I've been being harassed by my ex-husband Mike for the past three days...I'm at a loss of what to do... My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years just broke up with me after I told him that I think I may be pregnant, how mature of him. I'm very stressed & just needed to vent.
__________________ ~Chrissie~ SPAY TODAY!!!!!!!! |
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07-02-2009, 07:01 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member | Well look at the bright side, he is a jerk and he proved it before you made a serious commitment. Take the daughter to Planned Parenthood and let them do the "responsibility" talk with her. You are the parent, so act like the parent and make sure she knows about protected sex and being responsible. And on the breeders forum, remember everyone is passionate about their ideas and breeding programs. Most breeders hate to hear about oops breeding. |
07-02-2009, 07:06 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,200
| Wow! You have had a bad week and for that, I am so sorry! As far as your daughter is concerned, I think if it were me I would insist that she go and I would be right there all the while making sure she got the shot. The repercussions of this may be that she gets mad and wants to live with her father. In the end she will thank you for making her go and getting on a type of birth control (anything other than the pill). It is the parents job to protect and if your ex isn't one to do it you have to step up for the both of you. I don't think your dumb at all. I remember being a teenager and how sneaky we all were. You can only do your best to teach and steer these kids in the right direction. As far as your boyfriend ~ what a jerk! Your definitely better off without him if that is how he is! I do hope your weekend makes up for the week you've had! Keep your chin up!
__________________ Zoe Peppee Brady EARL! |
07-02-2009, 07:10 PM | #4 | |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,015
| Quote:
Great post! I raised two daughters, and I know how trying it can be. Even if your daughter doesn't like what you are telling her, she is still going to love you......and respect you for being her mother, instead of trying to be her friend. She can have lots of friends, but only one mother!! Don't be bullied by your ex.....he certainly wouldn't have been more on top of things! It's easy for him to throw stones, because he is not dealing with it first-hand. Stand your ground with your daughter and let her know that you love her no matter what. I'm sorry about your boyfriend, maybe things worked out for the best. Good luck...thoughts are with you!
__________________ Piper Leo Baby Piccolo | |
07-02-2009, 08:47 PM | #5 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posts: 849
| Don't feel stupid....we snuck out with my my friends and threatned my younger sister to tell.....My Mama didn't raise us like that. We were a group of friends taht egged each other on. Now, I am the Mother of teenagers and there isn't much they got away with....I found out later on the things they did get pass me, our realtionships our strained...not talking, it breaks my heart in a million pieces, but one day when they grow up they will see I was doing what I thought was best to protect them......you hav to pull the Mother rank, and yes it could cost you for a while...I hope that is not the case as it is almost imbearable they way these teens can treat you after all you do for them, but I wouldn't change a thing.....I am their Mother for a reason. GOOD LUCK, Angie
__________________ Angie Last edited by Angela; 07-02-2009 at 08:48 PM. |
07-02-2009, 08:50 PM | #6 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,200
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__________________ Zoe Peppee Brady EARL! | |
07-02-2009, 10:29 PM | #7 | |
Don't Litter Spay&Neuter Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: So Cal
Posts: 9,874
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SpayToday, hope you'll have a better day tomorrow & I'm sure things will work out. I read your post & was thinking, 'Wow, soo much drama!' Big Hugs to you!
__________________ | |
07-02-2009, 10:44 PM | #8 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| You already got great advice in this thread. It is tough to be tough as you need to be sometimes. I know I fretted over my oldest ever coming home again once he moved out. But it was only a few months after he was on his own, that I got the best letter a mom could ever get. He thanked me! After all the arguments, the groundings, the long lectures at the dining table, the tears on my part, the scowls on his part......he actually thanked me for caring enough to be tough with him and make him do what he needed to do. That kid has grown to be one of the finest young men I have ever known. I am so proud of him today, you cannot imagine. But it was no cake walk -- he paid me back for all the troubles I caused my mom! So, hang in there. Get that girl to the doc/planned parenthood/or a clinic. Set new and stricter ground rules. Let the boy's folks know what has been happening and that it has to stop too. Set both girls down and give them the new rules along with repercussions if they do not obey. Then hold fast to those rules and punishments. Let the girls both know that you want to trust them and will be watching for signs that you can give them back that trust. Don't worry about being her friend for at least 6 more years. You know what needs to be done. While you are making gyn appointments, make one for yourself too. Make sure besides the pregnancy test, you let the doc know how wiped out you have been feeling -- could just be pregnancy, but might have to check some other things too. If you are pregnant, you are going to have to have that talk with your girls. It won't be easy, but be honest with them. How you handle the next few months will be all important to your relationship with all of your children. Forget the BF -- he showed his true spots and you will be better off without him. But you will need to really pull it together so you can do your best by these kids. They need a mom. I know there were times I would have had a breakdown if not for knowing I had a bigger obligation to my kids. They will drive you crazy but they will also keep you sane. It will get better!
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