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Old 03-19-2009, 09:11 PM   #1
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Angry need to vent.....

ok im really not the jealous type at all but my bf has met this girl in his chem class that his is seeing alot of...study sessions, driving her with him to the library lil favors like she needs to borrow something ever day or needs a favor. In fact,she just texted him at midnite asking him for a favor. She needed him to take roll for her in chem tommorow becuz she had a fam emergency so she needed to give him her clicker( a clicker is like u see the audience have in game shows but they take roll with it)anyway she asked if he was home then!!! At midnite!!!! well he is with me,not at his apt...I just dont think it is appropriate. Hed flip if I spent so much time wit a guy like that...I dont think hes cheating but he doesnt understand why it bothers me. Ive never met the girl or I mite be ok with it. It just doesnt seem appropriate to me...needed to vent or i may get back in bed and let him have it
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Old 03-19-2009, 09:29 PM   #2
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Well.. . . I say if you are upset that is reason enough for him to lighten up. Sometimes girls now of days are relentless when they see something they want. Or your guy is just a nice guy that does not see where there may be a problem. (My hubbies one of those nice guys) Try explaining how it makes you feel. Not the jealous type, but the type that is aware of how other women behave. Boundaries are always good when you are in a relationship. They help shore up the home front! There was some party girl that wanted to car pool with my husband to work back in the day. I wasn't for it. He understood. Now today she is in Washington with the DOT and my husbands bosses boss. When he saw her 15 years later, she kept saying how much she settled down and how much she changed. I tell you she was a wild party girl!!

Stick to your guns. Be calm. Be fair. It will work out. (Trust your instincts.)
If you doubt he is doing anything, you are probably right. Just use your head and follow your gut! Keep us posted!
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Old 03-19-2009, 09:55 PM   #3
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Well.. . . I say if you are upset that is reason enough for him to lighten up. Sometimes girls now of days are relentless when they see something they want. Or your guy is just a nice guy that does not see where there may be a problem. (My hubbies one of those nice guys) Try explaining how it makes you feel. Not the jealous type, but the type that is aware of how other women behave. Boundaries are always good when you are in a relationship. They help shore up the home front! There was some party girl that wanted to car pool with my husband to work back in the day. I wasn't for it. He understood. Now today she is in Washington with the DOT and my husbands bosses boss. When he saw her 15 years later, she kept saying how much she settled down and how much she changed. I tell you she was a wild party girl!!

Stick to your guns. Be calm. Be fair. It will work out. (Trust your instincts.)
If you doubt he is doing anything, you are probably right. Just use your head and follow your gut! Keep us posted!
I agree, great post.
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:45 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by heatherm0890 View Post
ok im really not the jealous type at all but my bf has met this girl in his chem class that his is seeing alot of...study sessions, driving her with him to the library lil favors like she needs to borrow something ever day or needs a favor. In fact,she just texted him at midnite asking him for a favor. She needed him to take roll for her in chem tommorow becuz she had a fam emergency so she needed to give him her clicker( a clicker is like u see the audience have in game shows but they take roll with it)anyway she asked if he was home then!!! At midnite!!!! well he is with me,not at his apt...I just dont think it is appropriate. Hed flip if I spent so much time wit a guy like that...I dont think hes cheating but he doesnt understand why it bothers me. Ive never met the girl or I mite be ok with it. It just doesnt seem appropriate to me...needed to vent or i may get back in bed and let him have it
I understand how you are feeling. I too am not the jealous type. but my man has a girl that he talks to and texts to on a daily basis. We have had a discussion several times about this. She is 18 I think, and he is 42. He helped her by letting her sleep on his couch a couple years ago. I have never found anything that suggest that he wants to be with her, but I know that she wants him. She moved somewhere out of state with her "boyfriend", but then started calling again with off the wall stories. Stuff like she had a miscarriage(not that it isn't possible, but the facts that she stated about what the doctor's said and didn't do, lead me to believe that it was a lie for attention), being chained up for a week in someones basement(yet she had her phone to call him) just several crazy things. I keep telling him that she wants his attention and she knows the only time that he will continually talk to him is when he is afraid something is going to/or is happening to her. I finally told him the other night that if it didn't stop than we were going to have issues. His not so smart response was, don't worry her phone isn't working so we wont be talking! That didn't go over very well and I must say he will not be getting any attention from me for a while......And if my ex-husband calls me and we talk he gets very upset. He even had the nerve to tell me that I had to chose him or my ex. So that lead to another discussion about him and hsi "girl". He is the one I am with, and all my calls are done around him, I don't ever talk to my ex in the middle of the night, or in another room, it is all done out in the open because I have nothing to hide. I just don't understand him with this issue. It is not a reason to break up our family and I don't have any intentions on that, but by gosh it is very frustrating.....Sorry that I don't have any advice for you, cause everything I have tried still isn't working. But know that someone else feels your frustration.
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Old 03-20-2009, 01:27 AM   #5
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I have seen women try to pick my husband up right in front of me Some are just relentless!
I think if you trust your guy then just keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't go further than it has. It's hard because a woman knows when another woman is planning to do something or has her eyes on a man, while a man just has no clue at all and perceives it as small talk and the woman just being nice or needing help
We have the gift of intuition and we have it for a reason.
I trust my husband with my heart and usually I laugh it off but if it got to a certain point then I would step in.
Just watch, be aware and let her know your watching.
Good Luck
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Old 03-20-2009, 02:11 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by heatherm0890 View Post
ok im really not the jealous type at all but my bf has met this girl in his chem class that his is seeing alot of...study sessions, driving her with him to the library lil favors like she needs to borrow something ever day or needs a favor. In fact,she just texted him at midnite asking him for a favor. She needed him to take roll for her in chem tommorow becuz she had a fam emergency so she needed to give him her clicker( a clicker is like u see the audience have in game shows but they take roll with it)anyway she asked if he was home then!!! At midnite!!!! well he is with me,not at his apt...I just dont think it is appropriate. Hed flip if I spent so much time wit a guy like that...I dont think hes cheating but he doesnt understand why it bothers me. Ive never met the girl or I mite be ok with it. It just doesnt seem appropriate to me...needed to vent or i may get back in bed and let him have it
I'm also not the jealous type but I see red flags flying. Next time she needs a ride show up in the car with your guy.
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Old 03-20-2009, 03:59 AM   #7
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yea i agree with you all, her msg said she had to take care of somethings at home...her "boyfriend" is back home...i have a feeling they are gone break up. Just from thingd said...and sandyapk yes,me being upset is reason enough to cool it...that has been my main point in all of this. Now, i was very calm at first as I thought he needed her help in chemistry. I cant discourage something if it wll help him do good in school.but then one day he said "yea lauryn doesn kno the answers any more than I do"red flag...he left this morning and I pretended to be asleep. yes my bf is a very nice guy,he offered a ride and occasionally offers hw help...i think she pursues it more than him,but still the fact that he does at all bothers me
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Old 03-20-2009, 04:39 PM   #8
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Ya sometimes life is just plain hard. I think we all need to be super honest with what we want. And after that be honest and communicate that with your bf. I am going on 29 years of marriage, honestly it is just work. Tell him how you feel and lay out what you want. Don't take the easy way out. Have no regrets, live life full every day! Enjoy life and take on its challenges head on!! Wishing you well. You can do it!!
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