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02-24-2009, 12:48 PM | #1 |
♥Love My Puppies!♥ Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: US
Posts: 5,786
| "The Laws of Ultimate Reality" THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY > > * Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. > > * Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. > > * Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. > > * Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number , you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. > > * Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. > > * Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). > > * Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. > > * Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. > > * Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. > > * Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. > > * Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. > > * The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. > > * Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. > > * Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. > > * Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. > > * Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. > > * Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. > > * Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. > > * Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. >
__________________ RIP My Sweet Darling Angel Daisy 08/09/03 - 10/02/15, RIP My Sweet Baby Boy Teddy Bear 02/01/04 - 02/11/16 Photos HERE |
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02-24-2009, 01:15 PM | #2 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: HOT, HOT, HOT AZ
Posts: 3,150
| OMG!!!!Those are soooooooooooooooooo true!!!
__________________ BUYCOTT ARIZONA |
02-24-2009, 07:15 PM | #3 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Casey, IL
Posts: 1,175
| These are funny. The law of mechanical repair also applies to gardening. You know how many times i walked back in the house to pee with dirt on my face? LOL.
__________________ Heather, mommy to Drake (7 yr old son), Triss (yorkie), spike (dachshund), ash and misty (my cats), and a baby on the way due Oct 1st! |
02-24-2009, 07:48 PM | #4 |
♥Sapphire♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: PA, USA
Posts: 4,069
| lol Those are good. And soo soo true!
__________________ Courtney Sapphire |
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