He's officially in the band now - and a MIL rant (again)

[Graleyne]

So last night I took my sweet DS to get his band intrument. He is playing the Alto-Saxaphone. Lord be with my ears.

We had to have a band meeting, get his instrument, and get his band locker. All of this took approximately 2 hours and we were lucky because there were about 70 kids there and we were near the front of the line. There was still a very long line waiting to get instruments while we were leaving.

The MIL part comes in because I had to ask her to drive us there. My car is in the shop and DH was at work. So she did and we managed to get there in one piece.

She was worried about where we were sitting. The kids can't practice if we are sitting there. I explained the kids weren't practicing tonight. They were just getting their imstruments. That's all. She said this several times and several times I reassured her it was OK.

Well, DD5 started whining (because she was in front of MIL and MIL lets her get away with murder). She started complaining she was hungry. I told her she would be OK until we got home. MIL asks her if she had dinner and DD5 tells her no. Well, she didn't. BUT its because she chose to play at the table instead of eating and then it was time to leave. So no, she didn't eat dinner, but it was her own fault. This sends MIL into a tizzy because ya'll just KNOW DD5 is going to starve to death and die within the hour if she doesn't eat.

Fast forward to time to get DS's instrument. He and I are in the next room discussing with the band director and the instrument guy about instruments, payments, etc. MIL sends in my DD14 with DD5 because DD5 "wanted to see me" and I need to feed her dinner. Ok, now I'm MAD. I sent them back out, told them I was busy. We would be done soon, tell MIL she isn't going to friggin' starve.

Finally we're leaving. MIL is STILL harping about DD5 not eating. Then she started on DS and his instrument. What were we going to buy DD5 now since we just spent all that money on his "sak-a-sa-phone" (I swear that's how she pronounced it and I nearly died lol). I told her DD5 didn't need anything. She wasn't in band yet but when she was old enough if she wanted she'd be allowed to as well. Well we ought to get her something now because it wasn't fair yadda yadda. Finally my DD14 spoke up and said, "You know, our mom has more kids than just DD5. She has to think about me and DS sometimes too." Well, that shut the MIL up for about 2 minutes. Then she was right back on it only this time she half-heartedly included DD14.

(I should note here that DS and DD14 are her STEP grandchildren. They don't get to call her "Granny" like DD5. They are allowed to call her "Aunt C."

After we got home my DS climbed in bed with me and said, "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to make Aunt C mad and leave DD5 out. I just wanted to be in the band. I didn't know it would cost so much and it wouldn't be fair to the girls." I told him not to even THINK about apologizing. He has every right to play in the band if he wants and he'd better play the hell out of that saxaphone and ENJOY every minute of it!

[RebelBelle]

If I haven't said it before, let me go on record as stating that your MIL is a LUNATIC! Girl I do not know how you put up with it. P.S. Tell DS that the Alto Sax is the COOLEST instrument in the band!

[mistyblue]

OMG!!! She's Awful! I wouldn't let that woman anywhere near my kids! LMAO
Here's a suggestion...let your son practice his new Sax at her house!...lol

As for your ears Well...my oldest daughter played Alto Sax too. Mu hubby made her practice out on our front porch until she got better at it. But you should have heard the neighbors cows every time she was out there!! It was great Just remember...this too shall pass

[Graleyne]

I really am beginning to think she has got some kind of mental issue. I don't know if its age related, but she definitely has something wrong with her.

I am just about at my wit's end with her. I really am. DH is only just barely starting to see it. The problem is it is very hard to tell how much of it is intentional and how much of it is just whatever is wrong with her.

I am on MEDICATION now, because of anxiety and after sitting down and really looking at things, a good 85% of my anxiety stems from having to deal with her.

I feel guilty because I was brought up to respect my elders and help them any way I can. Then here I am stuck with this one who is literally making me crazy.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I would NEVER do anything to keep DH from seeing his mom, nor would I ever deny her the right to see her grandchild (although due to another issue we had with her, she is only allowed supervised visits now). It has gotten to the point that I have contemplated leaving my husband just so I won't have to deal with her anymore. That is how bad it really is. I don't post even HALF of what I go through with her on a daily basis. It is crazy. I am telling ya'll SHE is crazy.

And yeah, DS is already convinced that alto sax is the bomb-diggity! He LOVES it!

[amandawash]

That's why we live across the freakin' country from my mother-in-law.

You poor thing! Keep your head up, maybe she'll croak soon. OMG did I just say that out loud???

[Yorkiedaze]

What a shame families can't be closer than any friend, but that's how it is sometimes. I don't have a mom, dad or inlaws in my family. We just have his sister, aunt & uncle and our sons. So far so good.
I'm sorry your dealing with spoiled adults right now. Tell your son to play the heck out of that alto sax. It's a great instrument and easy to learn. I played it in high school.

[alisonJ]

Yuk---I am sorry she put you through that. What nerve. I play tenor saxophone. Your son will love it.

[chattiesmom]

My best advice would be to move at least 1,500 miles away from the MIL. Perhaps hubby can transfer..... believe me - I speak from experience, sometimes it is a good thing to have a lot of miles between you, your husband and children and the rest of the family.

[Wylie's Mom]

Oh, lawsie.

Girl, you need to move at least 500 miles away. AT LEAST. I hear Phoenix is REAL nice.

[betsi]

She won't let them call her GRANDMA??? That speaks VOLUMES in itself I ADORE both of my DIL's and they feel the same about me. I am SO sorry for you and your children!

[Graleyne]

Of course they can't call her "grandma", they aren't "blood".

I'm telling ya'll I am really just tired of all of it.

[Ashley V]

Originally Posted by Graleyne

Of course they can't call her "grandma", they aren't "blood".

I'm telling ya'll I am really just tired of all of it.

But where in the world does she get Aunt C from? She certainly isn't their aunt either! I call my step grandparents by their name but I was 16 when my dad got remarried so it doesn't count... plus they live half a country away and I NEVER see them.

That's awful how she acts with your children. It sounds like she really tries to spoil your youngest and could care less about your other two. She sounds like she really gets carried away with your little one.

[Graleyne]

You can do a search on off topic posts by me and you will see that the MIL thinks she OWNS my youngest.

Aunt C came because she has a niece who is there a lot and that's what she calls her and my son was 3 when DH and I got married, heard the niece call her that and started calling her that as well. She decided she was ok with that.

I'm telling ya'll, this lady is NUTS.

We were there the other day (she asked to see dd5) and I went to fix dd5 some soup. Well, you know how sometimes the soup can separate? The MIL saw that and FLIPPED OUT! She told DH I was about to feed dd5 POISON! I swear she called half the family telling them she was worried about the safety of dd5 because I almost fed her poison soup.