Need advise

[maxmom]

Just about now I really , really need a hug, my youngest son, informed me this afternoon that he wanted to go study out of Florida, he wants to experience living on his own, he is my baby and is turning 18 on Sunday.
I know that it's normal, that this would be the time to do it, that he will be fine, that it'll help him be more responsible, but I still hate the idea, and want to ask him to stay, ...that would not be fair...
All the moms and dads out there, I need some comfort words...please

[peanut]

Sometimes you have to let them go, its hard but sometimes its good for them to learn how it is being on your own. Hang in there mom it will be hard but just be there to help him out. Big Hugs!

[maxmom]

I see you are from Tennessee , that's where he wants to go.Thank you for your kind words.

[texas-rn]

My son was younger than yours (he was 15) when he decided that life with me was too strict. I was a single mom and he thought he had too many rules! He was flunking out of school, and I wasn't sure where to turn. He went to live with his uncle in Iowa. After a few months, he was asking to come home. That was a real turning point for us. As hard as it was, I had to let him go so he would come back to me. He is now 34 years old, an ex-Marine (not sure if they are ever EX-Marines), and he is a Sargent with an area police department. He is also a single Dad and has sole custody of his 5 year old daughter. The hardest thing for a Mom to do is to let go. It's our job to prepare them for the world - but what we want to do most is to protect them from it. I'm sending you big hugs and will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

[MeganS]

I have no advice for you. I'm the youngest, but my brother is turning 18 in Dec. and talking about going away to school (Virginia), and my mom is in the same boat as you pretty much. I'm sorry you're sad. Big hugs.

[HanksMom]

Im probably not the best for advice on this, but i moved off to college and i was back in one semester! lol

[maxmom]

he mentioned he wanted to go to East Tennessee University, but I have only found general information.I would love to go and take a look at it, will do it, but I want something right now, to make me feel better about his decision.Do any of you have gone to that University or has heard something about it?

[Timmy]

((((hugs)))) to you. My son will be turning 18 in Oct but he says he's not going anywhere... I think if he were to say he's leaving I would feel the same way you are feeling. I do know that whether its now or later I'm going to go through it because he's not living with mom forever. He's into cutting hair and thats what he's going to school for. He's already in shows and he just keeps telling me....mom, one day you'll see. He cuts only guys hair but the designs he does just amaze me. Don't know where it got it from, he just learned it on his own. Right now he's 17 and he makes over 200.00 a day cutting hair. I really wanted him to go to college but I'm not forcing him.. he's doing what he loves to do and as he says you watch mom one day I'm going to cut a celebrity's hair. He doesn't know but once he's done school I'm starting up a business for him.

Stay strong mom. This will make him a strong man.....and he'll be back.

[maxmom]

Originally Posted by Timmy

((((hugs)))) to you. My son will be turning 18 in Oct but he says he's not going anywhere... I think if he were to say he's leaving I would feel the same way you are feeling. I do know that whether its now or later I'm going to go through it because he's not living with mom forever. He's into cutting hair and thats what he's going to school for. He's already in shows and he just keeps telling me....mom, one day you'll see. He cuts only guys hair but the designs he does just amaze me. Don't know where it got it from, he just learned it on his own. Right now he's 17 and he makes over 200.00 a day cutting hair. I really wanted him to go to college but I'm not forcing him.. he's doing what he loves to do and as he says you watch mom one day I'm going to cut a celebrity's hair. He doesn't know but once he's done school I'm starting up a business for him.

Stay strong mom. This will make him a strong man.....and he'll be back.

Wow, what a hard worker you have at home, I'm sure mom had "a little bit" to do with that .
My son has giving all the right reasons and I do understand him wanting to go and get from under his cuban mom's skirt, we tend to be over protective and baby our kids, specially if the kid is the youngest one, he is the one who comes and kisses you and gives you back rubs, so I know I'll miss him, and have to let go, but my heart tells my otherwise .When I opened this thread last night, he had just told me his decision, and who else should a turn to??? Of course my new YT friends
Thank you all

[RebelBelle]

Awww I know that gotta be hard on you but maybe this'll help. When I went to Ole Miss (3 hrs away) I had never spent more than 2 nights at a time away from my mom. Then after graduating Ole Miss in 3 years I decided that I wanted to move to Ft. Worth, Texas and go to grad school. My mom assures me that moving me to Texas 7hrs away from her was the HARDEST thing she ever did! But I did grad school and learned SOOOOOO much about myself. And then..................... I moved back home to live and work 15 minutes from my mommy! LOL! So send him off to grow and find himself, and if its meant to be he'll find his way back. And if not at least he'll have a degree and enough $$$$ to pay for your gas to drive back and forth to visit!

[Yorkiedaze]

We had one join the Army, the next one joined the AF, the next one went off to UCSB, the next one we took up to UC Berkeley and my youngest one got married without telling us then when he finally told us it was just the night before he left to go to San Diego to be with his wife who was in the Coast Guard. Heart ache's by the half dozen, so I know how your feeling. It's difficult to let go but they need their trials and error in order to continue growing. Just be there for him when he needs you.

[Yorkiedaze]

I forgot the third one, who gave us more heartaches than the other five put together. At almost 27 and doing nothing jobs, he finally joined the AF too. Now he's up for master, stationed in Rota Spain and is a wonderful man. So you see, there is always hope they get it together so to speak. I'm sure your son loves you and so you will always be with him in his heart.

[Patti]

I know how hard it must be but having the opposite, my 23 year old dtr is in her last semester of college and works 20 hours a week. She is a hard worker, but is way to dependent on me. She just got a job with JP Morgan, chase and had to go to downtown chicago for 3 days of training. The first day I had to go on the train with her, take the cab with her to the building, go into the building with her to get her to the right place. She's 23 in 2 weeks!!! and then turn around and go back home. I made her drive to the train station today and walk to the building as it was only 1 mile. She decided to take the later train and it had problems so she was 10 minutes late for her 2nd day of training!!! I really feel that I did too much for her all these years and did not do her any favors. As hard as it is for you to let your son go , he will appreciate you more when he sees how hard it is on his own, but he will also feel good about his independence. My neice same age as my DD moved to Nashville to take a teaching job, not knowing anyone and she has had a hard time making friends and is very home sick but is sticking it out. Hugs

[maxmom]

Thank you all, I know this feeling will pass, I just was not ready for him to tell me he was leaving.I can't be selfish and don't let him go just to make me feel better.

[lilbumbleybees]

I actually had two friends who went to ETSU. They loved it! One is graduatiing this spring I believe. My other friend left, but only b/c she wanted to come back home. Then she ended up moving again to Nashville for Culinary School! lol Go figure. But I heard from them both that the campus is beautiful and they loved the classes!