YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-22-2008, 07:31 AM   #1
YT 2000 Club Member
 
adorame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,312
Blog Entries: 1
Default I am so mad right now!

At one of my sisters! I have watched her little girl for her since she was 4 weeks old and she is almost 8 years old now. Once she started school up I would still watch her on weekends and the summer time. During the summer I have her from 6am till 4, 5,or 6pm depending on when my sister would get off work and I would have her 6 day's a week. Her Husband gets off at 4 and he will not come get her because he uses this time for his free time also I never know of him having the day off till she will come and pick her up and say something about it being daddy's day offWhy did I have their child then if he had the day off??

This summer I told them NO more weekends at all because my husband has a chance to not work weekends depending on if a boat is to come get coal or not. Plus I never have my friends 2 girls on weekends so we would be able to do Family time. She got upset with me about it because her husband will take every other Saturday for extra pay. I should aslo add she has not paid me one penny now for the past 3 years! My husband made a point to tell her at the start of this Summer of having her that it would be nice if she would even give $10 a week to help pay for her food and drinks ( some day's she eats 3 meals with us) She told him" Oh yah I could do that". I have yet to see any money. She even commented on us getting our 2 new Yorkies, but that is because I watch my friends 2 girls and SHE PAY'S ME!! Well last Thursday she had off and he took work off too and they took their 2 kids to Kalahari for the day!I felt taken advantage of yet again because she was talking about having to pay a doctor bill but yet they go and spend money at the water park! I was kind of upset and felt like she should of offered me some money if she was able to spend it on a day of fun. They also go to the movies every weekend and out to dinner she will sometimes call and ask me if I would like to have both kids over and I have started to decline because they wont show up to get them till midnight or latter. Money is not a problem for them other wise I would not be as upset as i feel right now, she would not be able to take her kid to a daycare and not pay!!

I about blew when she called me yesterday asking me if I would watch her this Friday, she had the day off but was asked by someone else to work for them so they could spend time with their kids. I said no you gave me your work squedual Thursday last week and I made plans because I have NO EXTRA KIDS that day. I am not going to change them and spoil my kids fun! She was a bit upset that I wouldn't take her but why should I have her from 6am till 6pm on a day I was to have off, it's not like I would get paid for my time like she would!! She then asked me if I was watching my friends 2 girls that day and I was like NO that is why I wont say yes to watching your kid. I don't get too many day's of the week when I have a no extra kid day and this friday was one of 3 I have had all summer long!

Anyway's I have talked with my husband and we decided I will not watch her next summer or even every other Saturday once school starts up! Also the lack of her not paying me had a bit to do with it but mostly I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity for too long! Like I said their is no day care that would watch her child for free like this!

Sorry this is so long but I just had to get this off my chest. A part of me feels bad for not wanting to have my niece over anymore but this is ridiculous!
__________________
Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha
adorame is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 07-22-2008, 07:42 AM   #2
I Love My Yorkies
Donating Member
 
chachi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
Default

When your a stay at home mom people just think you should watch their kids for free. I wouldnt do it anymore. The amount you are asking is so small. I just started keeping my brother in laws girl for an hr and a half in the Mornings and then I take her too school. She this yr starts the same school as my Daughter. Anyway then my brother in law is supposed to pck them up in the afternoon. We just started this week and the first day he was supposed to pick her up after work (shes not in schoool untill friday) Anyway he went home and took a nap instead. I was so mad!!! Thats just not a good way to start off. My Husband said he would handle it so I am waiting for him too. I ve just found family members take advantage of stay at home moms
__________________
Chachi's & Jewels Mom
Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431
Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427
chachi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 08:48 AM   #3
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
BamaFan121s's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,432
Default

Once you have children, all "free time" ceases to exist. I have found that it usually takes men a little longer to figure this out than most. Generally a swift kick to the rear and a verbal assault will do the trick. This action may need to be repeated every 6-9 months.
BamaFan121s is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 10:15 AM   #4
Just me 'n my boys
Donating Member
 
Tiggerwit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
Default

Being this is your sisters child I'm assuming she's your niece. Being that you've had her so frequently I'm sure she's quite bonded with you. I totally understand your position, but how will it affect your niece if you decide to not watch her any more. Apparently her mother doesn't care to spend that much time with her and will obviously just find another place to pawn her off on. I'm concerned about how this will affect your niece. She's stuck in the middle of this dilemma
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle."

Alphy 's Roxy
Tiggerwit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 10:37 AM   #5
YT 1000 Club Member
 
Yorkieforme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Windsor, Ontario Canada
Posts: 1,138
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Wow you are a wonderful Auntie!! and what a nice sister you have been to do this all for free.....sounds to me like you ARE being taken advantage of....If it were me...hmmm... I would have my niece when I wanted to have her...set a scheduled day(s)...and then I would let my sister face reality....and tell her to HIRE a sitter...like the rest of the world does! too harsh??? I don't think so....
__________________
Natalie & KiKi
Yorkieforme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 12:28 PM   #6
YT 2000 Club Member
 
adorame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,312
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiggerwit View Post
Being this is your sisters child I'm assuming she's your niece. Being that you've had her so frequently I'm sure she's quite bonded with you. I totally understand your position, but how will it affect your niece if you decide to not watch her any more. Apparently her mother doesn't care to spend that much time with her and will obviously just find another place to pawn her off on. I'm concerned about how this will affect your niece. She's stuck in the middle of this dilemma
See I am concerned about how this is effecting my own 4 boy's. They are being effected with me having her all the time. My husband works night shift so having her during the day from 6 am till 4, 5 or 6 pm spoils any time we could be doing things as a family. My husband leaves for work at 6:30. We have included her into family things like a family reunion on my husbands side of the family Because she will not get someone else to watch her. Also we have taken her out to eat, movies and other things that coast us money and my sister never has given us money to cover the charges. I have to take her or else we wouldn't get to do things ourselves and that is NOY fair to MY boy's!

I was not supposed to watch her this summer at all. My sister finished school this past December to be a teacher. Once she had her Teachers license, she was able to sub and also would waitress. This summer she was going to not waitress anymore. I had no clue that I was going to get her on the first Monday she did not have School, my sister just brought her over to my house in the morning! I had to wait till she came to pick her up to talk to her about what her plans were for this summer. She just supposed I was willing to watch her all summer long, so basically I had NO choice in the matter. That is why I asked not to have her on the weekends.

Also she would not just take her to just anyone to watch, the whole reason I have her is because they did not want to put her in daycare when she was a baby. She has a 15 year old brother who would be willing to help watch her, they live at home with my BIL grand parents and his mother lives next door to them, she also does not work. They will not watch her for free though so that is why I have her, because I will keep her because I don't want to cause problems with my sister and have her not talking to me like she did with our mother and she knows this.

My niece likes to spend time with her grandparents and I am quite sure she would not be nagitivly effected by me not watching her next summer. She would be with family still. Belive me I put alot of thought into this before deciding I was not going to watch her next summer. I wont have her during the school year this year because I don't watch kids on weekends.
__________________
Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha
adorame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 01:43 PM   #7
Missing Yoshi Everyday!
Donating Member
 
xxmxaxrxyxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 15,110
Blog Entries: 3
Default

wow i feel for you...hehe.. and yes it does seem like your sister is taking advantage of you...because if you explain to her that placing her child in daycare alone is around $200 a 5 day week...and you having her kid for 6 days a week with no pay is ridiculous...i know a lady here that only charge $50 a kid a week but its almost family...so your asking pay was way too low...she could at least offer $50 a week if they are working those extra days for extra money...

sorry you are having to deal with this..
__________________
Yoshi Mei Ling Ting Ting Ting Ki Sun Hye Yukio Kioshi
xxmxaxrxyxx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 02:06 PM   #8
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
tjdmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: upstate ny
Posts: 5,847
Default

Wow! I feel so sorry for your niece. Let's face it, you are raising her more than her own parents. How sad is that? The poor thing. I agree, they are taking advantage of you. I hope you don't let your resentment of them affect your niece, I don't think you would but it must be very frustrating. I don't think you are doing them any favors by watching her extra as the relationship they have with her will only continue to suffer. Maybe if they are forced to spend more time with her, they will enjoy it more and look forward to it. I only work part time and if I stay home for any reason, even if I'm sick or have had surgery, my kids stay home with me. I couldn't imagine it any other way. I don't need time away from my kids, they are my whole life and I look forward to seeing them whenever I'm away from them. And it's the same with my husband. If he get's the day off and they are normally scheduled to go to the babysitter he keeps them home with him anyway.
I just find that sad for your niece.....
tjdmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 02:46 PM   #9
Just me 'n my boys
Donating Member
 
Tiggerwit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
Default

I didn't realize you had 4 of your own kids, I was getting a little confused in the original post. How old are your boys? Maybe they feel she's like a sister and don't mind her there. Wishful thinking.

anyway, it's a tough call and I'm sorry. I babysat for my sister when our kids were little. Upside was that I got paid, downside was that it wasn't much, definately cheaper then daycare, and she gave me a 1099, after I had filed my taxes!!! I had no idea she would do this. I think she got a huge tax break being a single mom by doing it, but .... all the same. I was stunned.

I hope you guys can work it out. Sounds like maybe you and sis need to hit Starbucks and have a pow wow.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle."

Alphy 's Roxy
Tiggerwit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 03:53 PM   #10
YT 2000 Club Member
 
adorame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,312
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiggerwit View Post
I didn't realize you had 4 of your own kids, I was getting a little confused in the original post. How old are your boys? Maybe they feel she's like a sister and don't mind her there. Wishful thinking.

anyway, it's a tough call and I'm sorry. I babysat for my sister when our kids were little. Upside was that I got paid, downside was that it wasn't much, definately cheaper then daycare, and she gave me a 1099, after I had filed my taxes!!! I had no idea she would do this. I think she got a huge tax break being a single mom by doing it, but .... all the same. I was stunned.

I hope you guys can work it out. Sounds like maybe you and sis need to hit Starbucks and have a pow wow.
Wishful thinking is right! My boy's hate having her here. We could be doing other things this summer but we can't with her here all the time. I have postpone a vacation to New York City because she wont get another sitter for the summer. She made me feel guilty for wanting to go on vacation and her not wanting to leave her with any one but me! Not even her mother in law that lives next door to them. She doesn't like her over at her house but lets her 14 year old go over their every day! My boy's have nothing in common with her at all. My boy's ages are 14 1/2, 13 1/2 ,12 and 11. They get thrilled and look forward to day's she is not here. She can be a bit bratty and not to nice to be around at times.

I only have her in the summer time like this now since she started school 3 years ago, before that I had her year round..But I was paid pretty good for it. I have no clue what is up with her thinking summer time is free. They are not hurting for mony themselves so money is not a problem for them. She gets upset when she was short changed in her paycheck and complained to me about it My husband has said something to her 2 times now about paying me this summer, like I said, he told her even if it would be $10 a week to help cover food cost. I am so tired of feeling taken advantage of and her not checking with me first about babysitting this summer that i am just not going to do it next year. I will tell her at the start of school that next summer I am not watching anyone.

Also I would like to point out that my sister is a good person and she is not neglecting her 2 kids. She has a job and once she is finished she spends time with them daily. Nothing is wrong with her working, it's being taken advantage of for my time that I feel is wrong. Also the dad gets off at 4 every day, but he will not come pick her up if my sister is having to work over( she works in a food place and it happens) so some day's I will have her till 6 pm just because her dad thinks he deserves HIS TIME. He is a foreman at his place of work and will take a nap or go play paint ball to unwind Also she will get 1 to 2 day's off a week in the summer time and she spends it at home with both kids. She just finished schooling to be a teacher this past December ( she was top in her class) and she said she wouldn't have been able to do it if it was not for me keeping my niece all those years so in a way she is grateful for what I have done to help her reach that goal.
__________________
Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha
adorame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 03:58 PM   #11
Just me 'n my boys
Donating Member
 
Tiggerwit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
Default

Take her out for coffee or something and say, hey I can't do this for free and I want some time to spend with my boys to do things this summer. Tell her you feel taken advantage of. Give her two weeks to make other arrangements. She should understand. Tell her how you feel.

Maybe you guys can compromise and you can watch her one day a week, maybe two every now and then but she'll need to call and make arrangements first.

Good luck. Dealing with family in these types of situations is always hard and there are generally hurts feelings. Hopefully not for long. Big hugs
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle."

Alphy 's Roxy
Tiggerwit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:38 PM   #12
YT 2000 Club Member
 
adorame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,312
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiggerwit View Post
Take her out for coffee or something and say, hey I can't do this for free and I want some time to spend with my boys to do things this summer. Tell her you feel taken advantage of. Give her two weeks to make other arrangements. She should understand. Tell her how you feel.

Maybe you guys can compromise and you can watch her one day a week, maybe two every now and then but she'll need to call and make arrangements first.

Good luck. Dealing with family in these types of situations is always hard and there are generally hurts feelings. Hopefully not for long. Big hugs
Thanks!
__________________
Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha
adorame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 04:48 PM   #13
Senior Yorkie Talker
 
LeosMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 110
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Wow. I feel for you. My sister watches my 3 kids in my home. I pay her every week. It is the least I can do. We all have expenses that have to be paid. Every bit helps. She should atleast cover the cost of the movies, etc.
__________________
LeosMama
LeosMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 08:26 PM   #14
YT 3000 Club Member
 
mscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Hanford, CA
Posts: 4,895
Default

Your sister is taking advantage of you and your family. This is so wrong. Yes, it is your sister, however she needs to respect you ! Your kids need to have fun and do things together too! If this is compromising your kids and DH , then enough is enough . If you do not put your foot down then she will continue to use you.
I know you love your niece, and she is probably bonded with you. However, Your sister seems to make it up to her kids , and is not as financially strapped as it appears.
She must think you are not very smart or care, because to me, she is using you as well as manipulating you. I am sorry
__________________
"No matter how little money & how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."
mscat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 11:34 PM   #15
..... and BLAIR'S too ......
Donating Member
 
Mayas Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 3,190
Default

..... you are being taken advantage of .....

I understand this is Family but YOU have a life too and if your Sister is not getting the point .... make her PAY for Childcare to see what you have done for her over the years .....
__________________
I LOVE MY LIFE AS A MOMMY AND A WIFE
Mayas Mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167