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07-22-2008, 07:31 AM | #1 |
YT 2000 Club Member | I am so mad right now! At one of my sisters! I have watched her little girl for her since she was 4 weeks old and she is almost 8 years old now. Once she started school up I would still watch her on weekends and the summer time. During the summer I have her from 6am till 4, 5,or 6pm depending on when my sister would get off work and I would have her 6 day's a week. Her Husband gets off at 4 and he will not come get her because he uses this time for his free time also I never know of him having the day off till she will come and pick her up and say something about it being daddy's day offWhy did I have their child then if he had the day off?? This summer I told them NO more weekends at all because my husband has a chance to not work weekends depending on if a boat is to come get coal or not. Plus I never have my friends 2 girls on weekends so we would be able to do Family time. She got upset with me about it because her husband will take every other Saturday for extra pay. I should aslo add she has not paid me one penny now for the past 3 years! My husband made a point to tell her at the start of this Summer of having her that it would be nice if she would even give $10 a week to help pay for her food and drinks ( some day's she eats 3 meals with us) She told him" Oh yah I could do that". I have yet to see any money. She even commented on us getting our 2 new Yorkies, but that is because I watch my friends 2 girls and SHE PAY'S ME!! Well last Thursday she had off and he took work off too and they took their 2 kids to Kalahari for the day!I felt taken advantage of yet again because she was talking about having to pay a doctor bill but yet they go and spend money at the water park! I was kind of upset and felt like she should of offered me some money if she was able to spend it on a day of fun. They also go to the movies every weekend and out to dinner she will sometimes call and ask me if I would like to have both kids over and I have started to decline because they wont show up to get them till midnight or latter. Money is not a problem for them other wise I would not be as upset as i feel right now, she would not be able to take her kid to a daycare and not pay!! I about blew when she called me yesterday asking me if I would watch her this Friday, she had the day off but was asked by someone else to work for them so they could spend time with their kids. I said no you gave me your work squedual Thursday last week and I made plans because I have NO EXTRA KIDS that day. I am not going to change them and spoil my kids fun! She was a bit upset that I wouldn't take her but why should I have her from 6am till 6pm on a day I was to have off, it's not like I would get paid for my time like she would!! She then asked me if I was watching my friends 2 girls that day and I was like NO that is why I wont say yes to watching your kid. I don't get too many day's of the week when I have a no extra kid day and this friday was one of 3 I have had all summer long! Anyway's I have talked with my husband and we decided I will not watch her next summer or even every other Saturday once school starts up! Also the lack of her not paying me had a bit to do with it but mostly I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity for too long! Like I said their is no day care that would watch her child for free like this! Sorry this is so long but I just had to get this off my chest. A part of me feels bad for not wanting to have my niece over anymore but this is ridiculous!
__________________ Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-22-2008, 07:42 AM | #2 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| When your a stay at home mom people just think you should watch their kids for free. I wouldnt do it anymore. The amount you are asking is so small. I just started keeping my brother in laws girl for an hr and a half in the Mornings and then I take her too school. She this yr starts the same school as my Daughter. Anyway then my brother in law is supposed to pck them up in the afternoon. We just started this week and the first day he was supposed to pick her up after work (shes not in schoool untill friday) Anyway he went home and took a nap instead. I was so mad!!! Thats just not a good way to start off. My Husband said he would handle it so I am waiting for him too. I ve just found family members take advantage of stay at home moms
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-22-2008, 08:48 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,432
| Once you have children, all "free time" ceases to exist. I have found that it usually takes men a little longer to figure this out than most. Generally a swift kick to the rear and a verbal assault will do the trick. This action may need to be repeated every 6-9 months. |
07-22-2008, 10:15 AM | #4 |
Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
| Being this is your sisters child I'm assuming she's your niece. Being that you've had her so frequently I'm sure she's quite bonded with you. I totally understand your position, but how will it affect your niece if you decide to not watch her any more. Apparently her mother doesn't care to spend that much time with her and will obviously just find another place to pawn her off on. I'm concerned about how this will affect your niece. She's stuck in the middle of this dilemma
__________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy |
07-22-2008, 10:37 AM | #5 |
YT 1000 Club Member | Wow you are a wonderful Auntie!! and what a nice sister you have been to do this all for free.....sounds to me like you ARE being taken advantage of....If it were me...hmmm... I would have my niece when I wanted to have her...set a scheduled day(s)...and then I would let my sister face reality....and tell her to HIRE a sitter...like the rest of the world does! too harsh??? I don't think so....
__________________ Natalie & KiKi |
07-22-2008, 12:28 PM | #6 | |
YT 2000 Club Member | Quote:
I was not supposed to watch her this summer at all. My sister finished school this past December to be a teacher. Once she had her Teachers license, she was able to sub and also would waitress. This summer she was going to not waitress anymore. I had no clue that I was going to get her on the first Monday she did not have School, my sister just brought her over to my house in the morning! I had to wait till she came to pick her up to talk to her about what her plans were for this summer. She just supposed I was willing to watch her all summer long, so basically I had NO choice in the matter. That is why I asked not to have her on the weekends. Also she would not just take her to just anyone to watch, the whole reason I have her is because they did not want to put her in daycare when she was a baby. She has a 15 year old brother who would be willing to help watch her, they live at home with my BIL grand parents and his mother lives next door to them, she also does not work. They will not watch her for free though so that is why I have her, because I will keep her because I don't want to cause problems with my sister and have her not talking to me like she did with our mother and she knows this. My niece likes to spend time with her grandparents and I am quite sure she would not be nagitivly effected by me not watching her next summer. She would be with family still. Belive me I put alot of thought into this before deciding I was not going to watch her next summer. I wont have her during the school year this year because I don't watch kids on weekends.
__________________ Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha | |
07-22-2008, 01:43 PM | #7 |
Missing Yoshi Everyday! Donating Member | wow i feel for you...hehe.. and yes it does seem like your sister is taking advantage of you...because if you explain to her that placing her child in daycare alone is around $200 a 5 day week...and you having her kid for 6 days a week with no pay is ridiculous...i know a lady here that only charge $50 a kid a week but its almost family...so your asking pay was way too low...she could at least offer $50 a week if they are working those extra days for extra money... sorry you are having to deal with this..
__________________ Yoshi Mei Ling Ting Ting Ting Ki Sun Hye Yukio Kioshi |
07-22-2008, 02:06 PM | #8 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny
Posts: 5,847
| Wow! I feel so sorry for your niece. Let's face it, you are raising her more than her own parents. How sad is that? The poor thing. I agree, they are taking advantage of you. I hope you don't let your resentment of them affect your niece, I don't think you would but it must be very frustrating. I don't think you are doing them any favors by watching her extra as the relationship they have with her will only continue to suffer. Maybe if they are forced to spend more time with her, they will enjoy it more and look forward to it. I only work part time and if I stay home for any reason, even if I'm sick or have had surgery, my kids stay home with me. I couldn't imagine it any other way. I don't need time away from my kids, they are my whole life and I look forward to seeing them whenever I'm away from them. And it's the same with my husband. If he get's the day off and they are normally scheduled to go to the babysitter he keeps them home with him anyway. I just find that sad for your niece..... |
07-22-2008, 02:46 PM | #9 |
Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
| I didn't realize you had 4 of your own kids, I was getting a little confused in the original post. How old are your boys? Maybe they feel she's like a sister and don't mind her there. Wishful thinking. anyway, it's a tough call and I'm sorry. I babysat for my sister when our kids were little. Upside was that I got paid, downside was that it wasn't much, definately cheaper then daycare, and she gave me a 1099, after I had filed my taxes!!! I had no idea she would do this. I think she got a huge tax break being a single mom by doing it, but .... all the same. I was stunned. I hope you guys can work it out. Sounds like maybe you and sis need to hit Starbucks and have a pow wow.
__________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy |
07-22-2008, 03:53 PM | #10 | |
YT 2000 Club Member | Quote:
I only have her in the summer time like this now since she started school 3 years ago, before that I had her year round..But I was paid pretty good for it. I have no clue what is up with her thinking summer time is free. They are not hurting for mony themselves so money is not a problem for them. She gets upset when she was short changed in her paycheck and complained to me about it My husband has said something to her 2 times now about paying me this summer, like I said, he told her even if it would be $10 a week to help cover food cost. I am so tired of feeling taken advantage of and her not checking with me first about babysitting this summer that i am just not going to do it next year. I will tell her at the start of school that next summer I am not watching anyone. Also I would like to point out that my sister is a good person and she is not neglecting her 2 kids. She has a job and once she is finished she spends time with them daily. Nothing is wrong with her working, it's being taken advantage of for my time that I feel is wrong. Also the dad gets off at 4 every day, but he will not come pick her up if my sister is having to work over( she works in a food place and it happens) so some day's I will have her till 6 pm just because her dad thinks he deserves HIS TIME. He is a foreman at his place of work and will take a nap or go play paint ball to unwind Also she will get 1 to 2 day's off a week in the summer time and she spends it at home with both kids. She just finished schooling to be a teacher this past December ( she was top in her class) and she said she wouldn't have been able to do it if it was not for me keeping my niece all those years so in a way she is grateful for what I have done to help her reach that goal.
__________________ Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha | |
07-22-2008, 03:58 PM | #11 |
Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
| Take her out for coffee or something and say, hey I can't do this for free and I want some time to spend with my boys to do things this summer. Tell her you feel taken advantage of. Give her two weeks to make other arrangements. She should understand. Tell her how you feel. Maybe you guys can compromise and you can watch her one day a week, maybe two every now and then but she'll need to call and make arrangements first. Good luck. Dealing with family in these types of situations is always hard and there are generally hurts feelings. Hopefully not for long. Big hugs
__________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy |
07-22-2008, 05:38 PM | #12 | |
YT 2000 Club Member | Quote:
__________________ Brandy and her love bugs Jeter Axl Yumi Yasha | |
07-27-2008, 04:48 PM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker | Wow. I feel for you. My sister watches my 3 kids in my home. I pay her every week. It is the least I can do. We all have expenses that have to be paid. Every bit helps. She should atleast cover the cost of the movies, etc.
__________________ LeosMama |
07-27-2008, 08:26 PM | #14 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hanford, CA
Posts: 4,895
| Your sister is taking advantage of you and your family. This is so wrong. Yes, it is your sister, however she needs to respect you ! Your kids need to have fun and do things together too! If this is compromising your kids and DH , then enough is enough . If you do not put your foot down then she will continue to use you. I know you love your niece, and she is probably bonded with you. However, Your sister seems to make it up to her kids , and is not as financially strapped as it appears. She must think you are not very smart or care, because to me, she is using you as well as manipulating you. I am sorry
__________________ "No matter how little money & how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich." |
07-27-2008, 11:34 PM | #15 |
..... and BLAIR'S too ...... Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,190
| ..... you are being taken advantage of ..... I understand this is Family but YOU have a life too and if your Sister is not getting the point .... make her PAY for Childcare to see what you have done for her over the years .....
__________________ I LOVE MY LIFE AS A MOMMY AND A WIFE |
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