Uh oh... talk about open mouth insert foot! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

celstu1 · 06-12-2008, 10:33 AM

I agreed to go away with my man and his parents and his sister and her husband in August to Cape Cod, for only 2 nights though. They wanted us to go for 4 nights. This will be our first 'get-away' trip together. (even though we live locally) and its with his parents! Not to mention, him & I could hang on the beach all day, or do this or that, but Im not sure what his parents are up for, or his sister and her husband.

He seemed to want to go.. mentioned he never went to Marthas Vineyard... so I agreed finally... skeptically

BUT.....

I dislike the Cape!

Its BORING! I can't imagine there being anything more to do other than looking at boats and cliffs and lighthouses (BORING!) and shopping (can't afford it) and eating (dont want to afford it! LOL)!!!

I wish I could tell him how much I dont really want to do this. I know its not going to kill me, but uuggghhh.... Im 31... id rather go to Vegas or Miami or Atlantic City! Not the Cape.

patty58 · 06-12-2008, 11:22 AM

Well I've only been there once and I loved it....but of course I am 60!!!!!

celstu1 · 06-12-2008, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patty58

Well I've only been there once and I loved it....but of course I am 60!!!!!

60 years young Im sure Patty!

Bizzymammabee · 06-12-2008, 11:25 AM

It is boring but just look at it as a good family bonding event.

max23 · 06-12-2008, 11:27 AM

hey there! Im from MIAMI! and the beaches here are so much nicer and the night life is not BORING!!!!
Be honest with him! Whats the worst that can happen? He gets upset for a day or two and then he will get over it!

Yorkieforme · 06-12-2008, 11:49 AM

The Cape....sounds beautiful!! ya a little dull maybe...but think of it as bonding time with your man and his family.... (it might be important to HIM that you are with him)...and maybe try and plan a little get away for some where else exciting soon.

txshopper73 · 06-12-2008, 11:51 AM

It's only for two days. If you're serious about this guy, you need to sacrifice. Bite the bullet and indulge him and his family. You can always plan a trip with your fella another time.

celstu1 · 06-12-2008, 12:09 PM

yeah I know you guys are right... and we are going for 2 nights. I can't afford anything else this year, this is it... so I guess I will suck it up and do it. I am serious about him. Im just not used to the 'tight' family thing. My 2 brothers live far away and my mom lives far away and my father & I haven't spoken in 6 months.

I envy my guys tight family, I just wish our first away trip was not with them to somewhere boring... oh well!

This is horrible, and I'll never tell him this, but I wish he knew that Im doing this FOR HIM. Sometimes I feel that he is more thoughtful with the little things than I am... and I feel bad about that. So this is the least I can do is go and have fun, even if its boring because he deserves this too much for me to say NO.

Thanks!

celstu1 · 06-12-2008, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txshopper73

It's only for two days. If you're serious about this guy, you need to sacrifice. Bite the bullet and indulge him and his family. You can always plan a trip with your fella another time.

Ok, but Im not taking any pictures of any lighthouses! LOL

celstu1 · 06-12-2008, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by max23

hey there! Im from MIAMI! and the beaches here are so much nicer and the night life is not BORING!!!!
Be honest with him! Whats the worst that can happen? He gets upset for a day or two and then he will get over it!

He wouldn't get upset, thats the thing... he wouldn't say anything. He would just not go and be ok with that too. But I know he kind of wants to... so I don't have the heart to say no. I would love to go to Miami!! Im afraid Im going to feel fat & ugly out there with all the beautiful people... but I want to go anyways! HAHA

Yorkieforme · 06-12-2008, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celstu1

Ok, but Im not taking any pictures of any lighthouses! LOL

AHH come on...how about some pictures of sailboats then?

Cheer up...you might surprise yourself and really enjoy the trip....attitude really counts for a lot...says the mother of a daughter studying to be phychologist!! LOL

Bizzymammabee · 06-12-2008, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celstu1

yeah I know you guys are right... and we are going for 2 nights. I can't afford anything else this year, this is it... so I guess I will suck it up and do it. I am serious about him. Im just not used to the 'tight' family thing. My 2 brothers live far away and my mom lives far away and my father & I haven't spoken in 6 months.

I envy my guys tight family, I just wish our first away trip was not with them to somewhere boring... oh well!

This is horrible, and I'll never tell him this, but I wish he knew that Im doing this FOR HIM. Sometimes I feel that he is more thoughtful with the little things than I am... and I feel bad about that. So this is the least I can do is go and have fun, even if its boring because he deserves this too much for me to say NO.

Thanks!

Oh babes your not doing it for him...you doing it as a building block for your wonderful man and relationship.

It's nice to be part of a close family...got that in hubby's family. It's really a blessing to be a part of. They are crazy but fun and good people.

yorkiegirl83 · 06-12-2008, 05:44 PM

Awe I'm sorry you don't like it there! Personally I love the Cape, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket ( I even got married in Nantucket

).

Maybe you can find some fun activities going on during your stay?

Wylie's Mom · 06-12-2008, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celstu1

Im just not used to the 'tight' family thing. My 2 brothers live far away and my mom lives far away and my father & I haven't spoken in 6 months.

I envy my guys tight family.

This is horrible, and I'll never tell him this, but I wish he knew that Im doing this FOR HIM. Sometimes I feel that he is more thoughtful with the little things than I am... and I feel bad about that.

Okay, NOW I get it - and I was wondering if there was a little more to it. And actually, I *really* get this bc my family was...not a good one. In fact - the word "family" just freaked the crap out of me for a long time. I didn't want anything to do w/ anyone's family. Met hubby (then boyfriend) and he was pretty close to his family - which felt scary for me. They are very welcoming and loving people - but it still took me awhile to realize fully, in my own skin, that they were *not* going to behave like my family. My point is, when your core family is filled w/ dysfunction - it truly can be tough to propel yourself into other families. AND, there is nothing wrong w/ sharing that w/ your bf - I certainly did w/ Tony, and he was happy to share it with me. It helps to share that kind of stuff. Also, if it's important for you to have bits of time alone w/ him during the family weekend - it's good to let him know that ahead of time too. We always planned for that too, just so I'd have some breathing room.

celstu1 · 06-13-2008, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Okay, NOW I get it - and I was wondering if there was a little more to it. And actually, I *really* get this bc my family was...not a good one. In fact - the word "family" just freaked the crap out of me for a long time. I didn't want anything to do w/ anyone's family. Met hubby (then boyfriend) and he was pretty close to his family - which felt scary for me. They are very welcoming and loving people - but it still took me awhile to realize fully, in my own skin, that they were *not* going to behave like my family. My point is, when your core family is filled w/ dysfunction - it truly can be tough to propel yourself into other families. AND, there is nothing wrong w/ sharing that w/ your bf - I certainly did w/ Tony, and he was happy to share it with me. It helps to share that kind of stuff. Also, if it's important for you to have bits of time alone w/ him during the family weekend - it's good to let him know that ahead of time too. We always planned for that too, just so I'd have some breathing room.

THANK YOU!!! I appreciate this advice more than anything, you can't imagine how much I appreciate this! I've been having freak out moments lately. His family LOVES ME for him! They keep talking about us moving in togehter, getting married, that Im already part of the family, that I fit right in, etc... I am flattered and feel good about that. I like them all very much. Im VERY social and outgoing and friendly also, so he had NO idea how nervous I am. My family is small and far away from each other now. They are also very judgemental and can be mean. Im so afraid to make a misstep and have his family not like me anymore.

Also lately Im freaking out inside about the thought of losing my independance. I LOVE him...he is GREAT! I am happy with him, he treats me wonderful. HE is thoughtful and just a great guy and person. However I have flashes of leaving my condo and find myself either panicking OR nitpicking his house to use as an excuse to not move for a LONG time. I guess I am just not ready to give up my complete independance yet. Im sure thats ok, but the more steps I take into his family the harder I feel it is to keep that side of me private from them and that freaks me out right now.

Anyways... Im sure it will pass with time and I've 'been there, done that' and know when to say yes and when to say no. I know that I'll only do things when Im mentally and emotionally ready. In other words I will not be pressured to do anything Im not ready for... like merge my life with his until I ready to take on the responsibility of another person also. (I hope you know what I mean by that)

06-12-2008, 10:33 AM	#1
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	Uh oh... talk about open mouth insert foot! I agreed to go away with my man and his parents and his sister and her husband in August to Cape Cod, for only 2 nights though. They wanted us to go for 4 nights. This will be our first 'get-away' trip together. (even though we live locally) and its with his parents! Not to mention, him & I could hang on the beach all day, or do this or that, but Im not sure what his parents are up for, or his sister and her husband. He seemed to want to go.. mentioned he never went to Marthas Vineyard... so I agreed finally... skeptically BUT..... I dislike the Cape! Its BORING! I can't imagine there being anything more to do other than looking at boats and cliffs and lighthouses (BORING!) and shopping (can't afford it) and eating (dont want to afford it! LOL)!!! I wish I could tell him how much I dont really want to do this. I know its not going to kill me, but uuggghhh.... Im 31... id rather go to Vegas or Miami or Atlantic City! Not the Cape. __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

06-12-2008, 11:22 AM	#2
patty58 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas Posts: 5,272	Well I've only been there once and I loved it....but of course I am 60!!!!! __________________ Decide To Make It A Good Day

06-12-2008, 11:25 AM	#4
Bizzymammabee Luvs Lulu Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 6,931 Blog Entries: 1	It is boring but just look at it as a good family bonding event. __________________ Lulu will always be in my heart

06-12-2008, 11:49 AM	#6
Yorkieforme YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Windsor, Ontario Canada Posts: 1,138 Blog Entries: 1	The Cape....sounds beautiful!! ya a little dull maybe...but think of it as bonding time with your man and his family.... (it might be important to HIM that you are with him)...and maybe try and plan a little get away for some where else exciting soon. __________________ Natalie & KiKi

06-12-2008, 11:51 AM	#7
txshopper73 Donating YT 14K Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 14,226 Blog Entries: 1	It's only for two days. If you're serious about this guy, you need to sacrifice. Bite the bullet and indulge him and his family. You can always plan a trip with your fella another time. __________________ As always...JMO (Just My Opinion) Kimberley

06-12-2008, 11:27 AM	#5
max23 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: miami, fl, usa Posts: 1	hey there! Im from MIAMI! and the beaches here are so much nicer and the night life is not BORING!!!! Be honest with him! Whats the worst that can happen? He gets upset for a day or two and then he will get over it!

06-12-2008, 12:09 PM	#8
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	yeah I know you guys are right... and we are going for 2 nights. I can't afford anything else this year, this is it... so I guess I will suck it up and do it. I am serious about him. Im just not used to the 'tight' family thing. My 2 brothers live far away and my mom lives far away and my father & I haven't spoken in 6 months. I envy my guys tight family, I just wish our first away trip was not with them to somewhere boring... oh well! This is horrible, and I'll never tell him this, but I wish he knew that Im doing this FOR HIM. Sometimes I feel that he is more thoughtful with the little things than I am... and I feel bad about that. So this is the least I can do is go and have fun, even if its boring because he deserves this too much for me to say NO. Thanks! __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

06-12-2008, 05:44 PM	#13
yorkiegirl83 Love My Furbabies! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: somewhere Posts: 4,427	Awe I'm sorry you don't like it there! Personally I love the Cape, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket ( I even got married in Nantucket ). Maybe you can find some fun activities going on during your stay?