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Old 06-04-2008, 11:12 AM   #1
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Cry I'm shattered...

Two days ago, I discovered something that I've always feared. While trying to check my Facebook, I ran across all these awful websites in our laptop's history... I feel like my entire marriage has been a lie.

I've discussed this subject with my husband so many times before we were married because I knew I couldn't handle a spouse who had issues with it. He always said he didn't and that he agreed it was the same as cheating...

Come to find out, he's had issues with it the entire time we've been together. I feel so betrayed and worthless. Am I really so unattractive? He swears it doesn't have anything to do with me...but I can't believe him. I can't sleep or eat and I can't even talk to him without cussing. (which I NEVER do normally) I'm so disgusted.

He says he hates it and he promises he'll never do it again. The computer is now solely mine, as are all of our thumb drives...but how can I ever trust him again? How can I ever sleep in the same bed as him?

Has anyone here ever went through this? I don't know if the subject matter is correct for YT and if not I apologize... I just really need some support right now. My world has totally collapsed.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:19 AM   #2
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Hugs and love to you, dear. I'm sending you a PM.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:20 AM   #3
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I have not dealt with this myself, but I do know others who have and they made their husbands go for counselling...and for some it helped...best wishes
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:22 AM   #4
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Oh I"m so sorry. Someone just posted within the last two days regarding
the same thing. Sorry I can't remember who it was.
Prayer's coming for you sweetie to stay calm and think clearly.
Maybe it can be worked out if you want it to be. I am sorry.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:23 AM   #5
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Oh sweetie... I can understand your being hurt and upset by this. I would be upset and bothered by it as well. What would upset me more is not so much the act (I assume we are talking about pornography here) but the fact that he knew how you felt about it and openly lied to you about it. It's like a secret life, and that is what would bother me the most.

I guess some guys really do have an addiction to these types of things... though I can't understand it myself. It really does NOT have anything to do with you though, but I know I can't convince you of that.

I hope you can work things out with your husband. Try to keep in mind all the good things — like the reason why you fell in love with him in the first place. If he's still that person, then I hope you two can get past this.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:33 AM   #6
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... I am so sorry you have to deal with this .... I hope the two of you can work this out ....

Sorry I can't give you any advice ....
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:34 AM   #7
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I feel so bad for you. I know I would be upset too. You do have to remember though that men and women view sex differently and in his mind I'm sure he doesn't think that what he did was the same as being physically unfaithful to you. That probably isn't any consolation but I had to say it. I think you should seek some professional help. A marriage counselor would be the best thing for you and your marriage. Good luck I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:39 AM   #8
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I am so sorry for what you are going through.. Porn ruined my marriage my husband had an addiction to it and it ate away at his entire soul and then things got out of hand...It turned into an even bigger issue... I dont kow how to search and link my thread to this one... (((Hugs))) We are all here for you, I will pm you
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:44 AM   #9
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Thank you all so much for your thoughts & prayers. I just want so badly for all this to turn out okay.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:51 AM   #10
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I'm so sorry. I know how it feels. It became a problem for me when it replaced our intimacy. When my husband preferred the internet to me that's when I took issue. But trust me, it's not you. Please don't start doubting your sense of self worth. I know it's hard, I had all the same thoughts and it made me very insecure.
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:00 PM   #11
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I have never had to deal w/this but I wanted to tell you that Im sorry you are going through this and for how hurt you must be feeling! I hope in time you start to heal and feel better! Im sure you are not alone, I have heard of a lot of people going through the same thing!
Good luck to you sweetie!
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:05 PM   #12
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I have never had to deal with this but I will pray things work out for the best, I am sorry about what happened ((hugs)) keep your head up and stay strong!
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:06 PM   #13
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What ever you do....don't blame yourself. It is his problem and not yours!!! You will be in my prayers.
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:06 PM   #14
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your in my prayers.. i hope it all works out for you sweetie. please do
not blame yourself
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:12 PM   #15
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Again, thank you all. I'm trying really hard to not blame myself. Does anyone know if Tricare covers the type of therapy needed to deal with this issue? I really do not want to have to call and ask my PCM. Thanks.
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