My son wants to talk to me about joining the National Gaurd reserve :>(

[Angela]

No disrepect for the Military family, we have several in our family in every branch, but this is my only child who just turned 17 and has ALWAYS been against anything to do with the service. He was told about the money he would get to sign up and 200.00 a month for two weekends and college paid.....he really wants to go to college, always has.....I think he believes this is the only way he can pay for college. He could get a scolarship or two for some of his sports. I know to the core of my soul he will HATE it and I won't be able to do a thing to help him get out. I want him to know ALL the facts not just the luring ones they tell the kids at the high school. The only positive thing is he asked for us to go with him to talk to them, but I am against it and I know the enlister guy will hate me and who is to say they will tell us the con's in front of Christian. I need to find a real NG guy to tell Christian just how it is.....the pro's AND the con's. Anyway, just a Mom in a panic that I have to hide at home and need to post here. Thanks for listening.

Angie

[bchgirl]

I would make sure he realizes with the situtation in Iraq it is highly likely he will be called up to serve for a tour there. And sooner rather than later.

[gutu28]

I have a friend in the GA Army National Guard. If you want, I can send you his email and let him know that your son will be contacting him. He joined right out of HS, got deployed to Kuwait for 9 months and went to college when he came back. Now, he gets monthly paychecks from the army and his schooling is paid for. Let me know if you want his email.

[jencar98]

I know what you're going thru, as my now 20 year old came in one day when he was 18 and wanted to join the Air Force, not reserves though! I have great respect for those that do join and want to serve our country. Also respect and admiration for the Mom's that have sons serving in the military. It would be one of the hardest things ever to face.

Does your son have friends that joined up and later didn't care for it? In our case there were several. I just asked my son to at least listen openly to their experience before making that decision.

Also, told him to remember the recruiters only job is to get more to sign up, so they will promise you the moon......and......just like a car salesperson get bonuses for the more people they get to sign on the dotted line. Then asked him, if he thought he could really trust all of the answers that someone was giving him, if they had a vested interest in the outcome? I just wanted him to be fully, honestly informed about what to expect.

If he would have chosen to join, I would have supported his decision, sucked it up and started praying - hard!

Good luck to you and your son and his major life altering decision.

[mascot]

I am a military wife, and I also have two sons. Middle and High school. I love the military lifestyle as does my husband. We have been in 15 years and will be in another 15. My husband has been to Iraq 3 times, has been to many other deployments as well. He is Special Forces. I can empathize with your situation because I really don't want my boys to join either. Neither does their Dad. It is a very proud, yet very draining lifestyle. My husband never went nor never wanted to go to college. He joined the military 2 days after highschool. I know several people who have lost their lives in Iraq and several families who lost their loved ones. I hope your son joins the military with the understanding that when he signs the dotted line his new job will be to go to war. Even if there is not a war, that is what he is being trained to do. Alot of young men get in for the college money, and I hate that the recruiters can use that to get them in. I pray you will be able to really get to the core of why he wants to join. If he is joining becasue it is really what he wants.. ok, but don't do it for the college money. If you are going to fight and die for your country you need to do it whole heartedly with your eyes open, not for the college money. And mark my words, he has a great chance of deploying. If you need any advice or need to talk, please feel free to write me anytime. I pray it all works out for your son. PS the only suggestion I could make for a back up is the coast guard, he can get college money and they havent went to war since world war 2. Maybe check into that. Dot

[s13silviagirl]

Hello, first off I feel for you. I am active duty myself. My parents really didnt want me to join the Navy, but, I have gotten a lot out of it.


If you talk to ladybugg74
she is in the NG and may be able to help you some. Now, if your son really wants to go reserves, then the AF or Navy would be better. The army MG is activated A LOT. They get dpeloyed, and, while yes... they will pay him money upfront and pay for college, he will also have to work his butt off to pay for it. Meaning, deploy, training...bootcamp MOS school ect. There is a LOT he has to put into it up front before he can get anything out of them. Also, if for what ever reason he is kicked out...he pays back the money and looses the right to the GI bill (unless it is after X months). Hope this helps you some. Feel free to PM me if you need more info.

[lilfoot]

I really feel for you.....We have some friends that the guy is in the NG and got out 3 years short of full pension (I think thats what is was)...One week after being out his unit was sent to Iraq.....that was 3 years ago. I think he felt really bad about not joining his unit in Iraq...he reenlisted this last fall to finish out his 3 years....just found out last week that his unit is going to Iraq sometime this next fall....they have 2 kids....very scary for them...and for us....I know the decision wasn't made lightly and it was the toughest decision our friends have or hopefully will ever have to make.... good luck with everything...I hope I don't have to go through what you are going through...I also have a 12 year old son....

[Tammyh]

I really feel for you. My son is a US Marine and leaves next week for Iraq (his first tour), it's very scarry but my faith will keep me strong. He signed up before he graduated, it took a lot of convincing for me to allow that. He's been in for about 3 1/2 years now and has a wife and 22 month old little girl. He loves his country and was determined to be a Marine like his Grandpa, he wouldn't even talk to any other branch. He's had a lot of training, was in Security Force for 2 years and wants to be a police officer when he gets out, the training he's received will go a long way in helping him become one. He's passionate about his job, yes he'll be ready to get out when his time is up (he signed up for 5 years), but he's ready to go over and do his duty. In his mind he hasn't really served his country until he's been over to Iraq like so many before him. If God forbid something happens to him I'll know that it was his choice and where he wants to be and what he wants to be doing. If your son is doing this strictly for the money and has been against the military or the war in Iraq in the past then he should not be joining. He will most likely be deployed and may end up resenting it. He should only do it if he truely wants to serve his country and be ready to do whatever is asked of him. I really hope that you can determine his true motives and guide him from there. Good luck to you and your whole family, I pray that he makes the right decision.
Oh and if he decides to join and they make any promise GET IT IN WRITING

[larsensyorkies]

Can you have one of the family memebers who are/were in the military talk to him about it maybe? My brother was seriously thinking about joining the Army so I had my husband (former Marine) talk to him and not try and talk him out of it, but let him know all the negatives and what to expect. My parents and I tried to talk him out of it but he was all for it until he heard from someone who'd actually been through it.

Oh, and the recruiters aren't telling him this, but there is a 100% chance he is going overseas...many others are on their third time over there

[TommiGirl]

perhaps you can refinance your home or get a home equity loan
and pay for his college so he does not feel this "urgency" to join simply to go to college.
If that is the reason he is attracted to it.

[tjdmom]

Wow! I can so sympathize. I have the greatest admiration and respect for those people who go protect all of us at the risk of their own lives. That being said, I would be worried sick if my own boys decided to join..... I guess that sounds a little selfish, I guess it is a little selfish.....

[magnolia]

My oldest expressed a desire to join a branch of the service a few months ago. He's in JROTC at the local high school and loves it. He has kinda backed off the topic in recent weeks and hubby and I don't mention it - we wait for him. We have utmost respect for the brave men and women who fight for our freedom every single day, just not sure about having one of my own enlist. I can't offer help or suggestions as I myself are looking for some. Prayers are with you!

[Myzzbrat]

First off I commend your son for wanting to join. Yes the benefits are great, the money they are offering is tempting. But the reserves are the first to go and the last to leave in this war. Your son is doing an honorable thing. Being scared is only your right.. But your son is coming to you for support and encouragement. I know it may be hard to do. I wish you all the luck and support in the world. I have many family members and friends in Iraq, Bahgdad, Qwuiat (i know i spelled it wrong), and more sitting on ships in the sea waiting for the next move. It's not easy but we are the strongest thing to their faith that they have, we must be strong and support them and show them all the love that we can.

[SophieRose]

Coast guard, if that is his goal. I thought they were keeping the recruiters off-campus?

[Myzzbrat]

Originally Posted by mascot

I am a military wife, and I also have two sons. Middle and High school. I love the military lifestyle as does my husband. We have been in 15 years and will be in another 15. My husband has been to Iraq 3 times, has been to many other deployments as well. He is Special Forces. I can empathize with your situation because I really don't want my boys to join either. Neither does their Dad. It is a very proud, yet very draining lifestyle. My husband never went nor never wanted to go to college. He joined the military 2 days after highschool. I know several people who have lost their lives in Iraq and several families who lost their loved ones. I hope your son joins the military with the understanding that when he signs the dotted line his new job will be to go to war. Even if there is not a war, that is what he is being trained to do. Alot of young men get in for the college money, and I hate that the recruiters can use that to get them in. I pray you will be able to really get to the core of why he wants to join. If he is joining becasue it is really what he wants.. ok, but don't do it for the college money. If you are going to fight and die for your country you need to do it whole heartedly with your eyes open, not for the college money. And mark my words, he has a great chance of deploying. If you need any advice or need to talk, please feel free to write me anytime. I pray it all works out for your son. PS the only suggestion I could make for a back up is the coast guard, he can get college money and they havent went to war since world war 2. Maybe check into that. Dot

Dot, you gave a great post. I agree with you about the Coast Guard. I honestly forgot about them being military.