:( Im feeling blue.... :(

[blueeyes_jd]

I am just feeling really CRAPPY!!! I dont want to go do anything... I feel empty... I have been taking meds but sometimes I feel like they arent doing anything for me... let me just vent and tell you a little bit about me... I come from a family that was pretty hard to live.. my mother died when I was 7 years old... then we moved from EVERYONE we knew and EVERYTHING we knew and 11 months after my mother died my father got married to not the best person in the world... (and Im saying that really as nice as I can...) really shes the wicked step mother... my father and mother had 7 children (I was the youngest girl and 2nd youngest...) and she (my Dads wife) had 10 children... yeah! you read it right 10 so it was a total of 17 children... well... my dads kids all got pawned off to relatives and states custody while her "angels" all stayed until they where sick of her... one of her sons molested me and who knows what else he did to me... (I cant remember) and my cousin also did this to me too... well I was physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by my father and his wife I would run away and then he would call the police on me then he would kick me out and call the police on me and tell them that I ran away... so after about 6 months of spending over a 100 hours a week the last time I "ran away" I was trying to leave to kill myself... my Dad caught me and was pulling me and dragging me back home... people would stop and ask my dad if we needed any help... I would be screaming YES while he would say no... his wife got home and joined in she would get on top of my back with your knees in my back and jump on them while my dad was on my legs and holding my wrist... he ended up fracturing my wrist and they put strains in my back (to this day I still have bad back problems..) and was taken to youth services (a place where they would take all the other "bad" kids) I knew all the workers there by name... and the last time I was there one of the workers there was asking my what I did that time and I told him about my dad beating me that I had bruises all over my body and thats when he called child protective services... and thats when I was put into states custody... and thats a WHOLE another LONG story... anywho... I ended up trying to find love in ALL the WRONG places... and was raped in the process and then I found my husband! he has saved me from myself! he has been the best person in my life! but I just feel like I just cant get over this... my doctor thinks I have what is it called... pdsd post dramatic stress disorder? Ive had counseling and I dont know it would help but it didnt seem to help all the way? if that makes any sense... this is why Im getting a little furbutt Im hoping that Gracie will help me! I know just seeing her little face will just brighten my day! sorry it is really long...

[lreed]

Hang in there! You must have alot of inner strength to have survived this far and you're smart enough to know why you are suffering. Try helping others who need help. When you stay busy doing for others, you can't think about being blue and your own problems. "The love you give is the love you receive". I'll be praying for you and thinking of you. God's Blessings!

[xLoLa]

Originally Posted by lreed

Hang in there! You must have alot of inner strength to have survived this far and you're smart enough to know why you are suffering. Try helping others who need help. When you stay busy doing for others, you can't think about being blue and your own problems. "The love you give is the love you receive". I'll be praying for you and thinking of you. God's Blessings!

i agree and i read that it helps. stay strong, you have been through a lot and im glad your on the road to recovery

[saphire]

What a sad story. No wonder you feel down. BUT, you have a wonderful husband, and that is a blessing in itself.

Plus, you have US, your YT family, because that's what most of us are here - family. I have found wonderful people, some I am just getting to know, other who feel like life long friends. Stick around and I'm sure you will feel the same.
There will always be someone on here to brighten your day and give advice.

Just go to the photo section, that's sure to put a smile on your face

I just know when you get your yorkie, your life will change, it will fill a void in your heart, give you unconditional love and always be there for you.
There will be days it will make you laugh so much , you will cry.
Plus, you will have so much joy, and maybe a problem or two, to share with us. They are the most wonderful dogs to love on!!! And the love you give it, will come back ten fold.

Don't ever feel alone, come here, start a thread, and someone will be here for you. Check out pepe mints "caption for the day" thats always good for a laugh, oh I could go on and on.

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers, so just remember, someone the other side of the world is thinking of you

Now sweetie, SMILE ok

Hugs,
Sheilagh.

[blueeyes_jd]

I agree with you guys! right now Im at the really low point where I am just screwed up with my days and nights and I just cant get up in the morning anymore... I usually go and help my sister in law she has some med. problems and she has 3 small kids... thanks for your kind words

[blueeyes_jd]

Originally Posted by saphire

What a sad story. No wonder you feel down. BUT, you have a wonderful husband, and that is a blessing in itself.

Plus, you have US, your YT family, because that's what most of us are here - family. I have found wonderful people, some I am just getting to know, other who feel like life long friends. Stick around and I'm sure you will feel the same.
There will always be someone on here to brighten your day and give advice.

Just go to the photo section, that's sure to put a smile on your face

I just know when you get your yorkie, your life will change, it will fill a void in your heart, give you unconditional love and always be there for you.
There will be days it will make you laugh so much , you will cry.
Plus, you will have so much joy, and maybe a problem or two, to share with us. They are the most wonderful dogs to love on!!! And the love you give it, will come back ten fold.

Don't ever feel alone, come here, start a thread, and someone will be here for you. Check out pepe mints "caption for the day" thats always good for a laugh, oh I could go on and on.

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers, so just remember, someone the other side of the world is thinking of you

Now sweetie, SMILE ok

Hugs,
Sheilagh.

sheilagh you are sooooooooo sweet!!!! thank you so much! I really needed to hear or in this case read that! thank you again!

[Patti]

You are in my prayers. You have endured more than anyone should and youhave to be a very strong person, even if you don''t feel that way right now. We will get you thru the dark days and smile with you on the good days. Your little Gracie will make a huge difference in your life. We are here for you!

[celstu1]

OH yeah, a yorkie baby will definately brighten your days! Feel better sweetie... try to not take it all on alone... its hard to do that and accomplishes nothing but feeling down. (((HUGS)))

[Nikki+2]

Well you have every right to at least be feeling blue! You have been through so much. If you feel like your meds aren't doing it, please call your Dr. and let her know. After all you have survived you must be an incredibly strong woman and I know you can over come this but if your meds aren't right it makes it much harder than it has to be. I'm sending hugs. Stay strong!

[patty58]

Honey you have been to hell and back. I think Gracie will help you a lot. Have you asked you dr. to maybe change your meds. I know I have been on several different kinds until they found one that really worked. Just know that you will always have someone on here to listen and you can vent anytime you want to. There are some really awsome people on here and I have made some great new friends. As Sheilagh said....we are family. I will keep you in my prayers. Just let God wrap his loving arms around you. Take care, sweetie.

[blueeyes_jd]

Originally Posted by patty58

Honey you have been to hell and back. I think Gracie will help you a lot. Have you asked you dr. to maybe change your meds. I know I have been on several different kinds until they found one that really worked. Just know that you will always have someone on here to listen and you can vent anytime you want to. There are some really awsome people on here and I have made some great new friends. As Sheilagh said....we are family. I will keep you in my prayers. Just let God wrap his loving arms around you. Take care, sweetie.

my doctor and I have tried ALL of the diff. meds out there and all of them give me bad sideaffects... the one that Im on now... cymbalta is the only one that seemed to help at frist... with out side affects but Im at the highest dosage of it and I still feel like this??? it sucks! my doctor did want me to start taking 2 anti depersant meds but the one he perscribed me makes me feel really yucky...
thank you to all of you who have responded I do feel like part of a family here! thank you so much for making me feel like Im part of the family!

[patty58]

My 33 year old daughter is on two...She has tried all of them but seems to be having luck right now with plain old prozac and seraquil (sp). Sometimes it's just a hit and miss until the right combination is found. Good luck sweetie.

[Tillys_mom]

I'm sorry to hear all that you have been through. It sounds like you have a wonderful hubby and furbaby. Sometimes when I get down in the dumps I get a piece of paper and write down all the positive things I have in my life. I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers. Things will get better.

[LuvnmyYorkie]

I went through a lot of stuff a few years ago, and know exactly how you feel. Like nothing matters. What helped me, was when I got off the meds! I told myself that I wasn't going to continue living miserable. I had my ups and downs throughout the way, but I was determined. What really helped me get out of it was when I started seeing a difference in myself. I was proud of myself. And that fueled the fire to help me get even better. The more I accomplished, the better I felt and then the more I accomplished! It was the opposite of a "vicious" cycle!

The meds seemed to either make me sick, or make me a zombie. Prozac made me break out in horendous hives. Once all the meds were gone, I was able to think clearly and figure out what I wanted.

And what I wanted was to control my own life. Just like you, someone else stole a lot of MY life away from me, and I wasn't going to let them take any more!! You can do it, you are so much stronger than you realize!!

[blueeyes_jd]

Originally Posted by LuvnmyYorkie

I went through a lot of stuff a few years ago, and know exactly how you feel. Like nothing matters. What helped me, was when I got off the meds! I told myself that I wasn't going to continue living miserable. I had my ups and downs throughout the way, but I was determined. What really helped me get out of it was when I started seeing a difference in myself. I was proud of myself. And that fueled the fire to help me get even better. The more I accomplished, the better I felt and then the more I accomplished! It was the opposite of a "vicious" cycle!

The meds seemed to either make me sick, or make me a zombie. Prozac made me break out in horendous hives. Once all the meds were gone, I was able to think clearly and figure out what I wanted.

And what I wanted was to control my own life. Just like you, someone else stole a lot of MY life away from me, and I wasn't going to let them take any more!! You can do it, you are so much stronger than you realize!!

yeah i dont think im "proud of myself" I think Im a failure because I cant get prego... and I think that makes me think Im less of a woman... (my hubby and I have been trying since may last year... ) but now... Im not so sure thats what I really want... I havent had a period either since may either... but Im going to an obgyn in a couple of weeks to see what thats all about... I dont feel like a zombie I just feel down... I usually dont open up like this to anyone... but I feel like I need to and get it out! but at the same time Im willing to talk about it with my family and close friends so its not like its not talked about and Im not holding it in... but I felt like I needed to go into detail about my life here so people can understand my background??? dose that make any sense"? I know Im a STRONG woman because Im still here and I kind of shove that into everyone that has hurt me in their face... but Im sick of my Dad acting like it never happened and that he didnt do anything wrong... and that I was the one that did everything wrong... I dont really have anything to do with him and his wife... but they still will show up without any phone call or anything... I miss my mom... I want her to be here... I wanted it to be her that helped me get into my wedding dress... I want it to be her that I talk to about not being able to get prego... I want it to be her that is in the delivery room with me... I know shes there in spirit but its just not the same.... and I hate that I dont have the "daddy daughter" relationship...but I am soooooooooooo thankful for my inlaws! I am soooooooooooooo blessed to have them in my life! my mil reminds me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much of my mom and right now they are in Africa for the next year and a half... so its hard... Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thankful for my hubby... he is the reason Im here and for once in my life I feel SAFE!!! hes not going to hurt me... and he loves me just as much as I love him... he is my rock!
thank you all of you that are reading this and letting me vent.... and for all of your prayers and kind words!