YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-11-2008, 06:21 PM   #1
YT Addict
 
xliloliverdiorx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 301
Default can you say psycho ex boyfriends?

question here: how do i get these guys to just learn to be friends without asking so many questions and without having to know what im doing 24/7.

So i have two ex boyfriends (my two most recent ones) Peter whom i broke up with about a month ago and dated for seven months and Tony whom i broke up with 9 months ago and dated for 1 year and 1/2. Now I truely want to be friends with these two but their seriously getting to the point to where I am about to say its done we cant be friends.

Reason being - first they both a constantly texting me constantly iming me on aim constantly calling constantly messaging on myspace and facebook. it is like i cannot get a second to breathe without these two being there already!

Second, they seem to think that I have to answer to everything they ask. I went out with a different guy (of whom i cant seem to get my mind off of for some strange reason) saturday and hung out with him. That night i had peter texting me asking where i was tonight and what i was doing when he found out i hung out with this other guy 1000 questions came flying from the texts. Now Tony called me the next day and told me "we need to talk" like it was a whole relationship ordeal or something. He asked me the same thing what did you do saturday night and the same thing that happened with Peter, Tony did too. And its like they speak in such a way or write things in such a way that makes it seem like i have to answer to them in which i dont believe is right at all.

One of my best friends who is biased to me going back with Peter because "she likes him, and he's a good guy" is not helping either. First because Peter and her talk all the time (weirdness!) and they talk about why i broke up with him. This conversation about why i broke up with him went on before i even told her why i broke up with him so i was a little pissed there. Second today when i told her i hung out with a new guy and stuff she was excited for me but then she asked "does Peter know about you two hanging out" i replied with "yes he does but he doesnt know that we [the guy i went out with and i] cuddled or anything" as if to let her know to not tell him because it would just cause more drama. She then stated "oh well thats good that you told him i figured he would be pretty pissed" as if i was not single or something and as if i still had to answer to Peter! What the heck!?

So what do I do? how do i get them to leave me alone and how do i get my best friend to stop sticking up for peter and start sticking up for me? because she is supposted to be there for me right?!

Sorry i just kind of had to vent a little bit of anger with this post as well too... im just frustrated with this situation.
__________________
Member of the Little Gentleman's Club
xliloliverdiorx is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 02-11-2008, 06:25 PM   #2
Luvs Lulu
Donating Member
 
Bizzymammabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,931
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by xliloliverdiorx View Post
question here: how do i get these guys to just learn to be friends without asking so many questions and without having to know what im doing 24/7.

So i have two ex boyfriends (my two most recent ones) Peter whom i broke up with about a month ago and dated for seven months and Tony whom i broke up with 9 months ago and dated for 1 year and 1/2. Now I truely want to be friends with these two but their seriously getting to the point to where I am about to say its done we cant be friends.

Reason being - first they both a constantly texting me constantly iming me on aim constantly calling constantly messaging on myspace and facebook. it is like i cannot get a second to breathe without these two being there already!

Second, they seem to think that I have to answer to everything they ask. I went out with a different guy (of whom i cant seem to get my mind off of for some strange reason) saturday and hung out with him. That night i had peter texting me asking where i was tonight and what i was doing when he found out i hung out with this other guy 1000 questions came flying from the texts. Now Tony called me the next day and told me "we need to talk" like it was a whole relationship ordeal or something. He asked me the same thing what did you do saturday night and the same thing that happened with Peter, Tony did too. And its like they speak in such a way or write things in such a way that makes it seem like i have to answer to them in which i dont believe is right at all.

One of my best friends who is biased to me going back with Peter because "she likes him, and he's a good guy" is not helping either. First because Peter and her talk all the time (weirdness!) and they talk about why i broke up with him. This conversation about why i broke up with him went on before i even told her why i broke up with him so i was a little pissed there. Second today when i told her i hung out with a new guy and stuff she was excited for me but then she asked "does Peter know about you two hanging out" i replied with "yes he does but he doesnt know that we [the guy i went out with and i] cuddled or anything" as if to let her know to not tell him because it would just cause more drama. She then stated "oh well thats good that you told him i figured he would be pretty pissed" as if i was not single or something and as if i still had to answer to Peter! What the heck!?

So what do I do? how do i get them to leave me alone and how do i get my best friend to stop sticking up for peter and start sticking up for me? because she is supposted to be there for me right?!

Sorry i just kind of had to vent a little bit of anger with this post as well too... im just frustrated with this situation.
Hon a lot of exes can be friends and that seems to be the case there. Your girlfriend needs to check herself because if she is your friend then she will support your decisions and have your back as long as your decisions are not detrimental to your life.
__________________
Lulu will always be in my heart
Bizzymammabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:27 PM   #3
Learn Yorkie CPR!
Donating Member
 
BabyFidgette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
Default

Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.
__________________
Nicole & Baby
"The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!"
BabyFidgette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:27 PM   #4
Luvs Lulu
Donating Member
 
Bizzymammabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,931
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFidgette View Post
Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.
Nicole hit it right on the head.
__________________
Lulu will always be in my heart
Bizzymammabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:29 PM   #5
Learn Yorkie CPR!
Donating Member
 
BabyFidgette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee View Post
Nicole hit it right on the head.
Thanks! With all the stuff I went through with men, I should write a book! LOL I actually did start writing one a while ago, but never finished. But, that's another story.
__________________
Nicole & Baby
"The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!"
BabyFidgette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:30 PM   #6
YT Addict
 
xliloliverdiorx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 301
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee View Post
Hon a lot of exes can be friends and that seems to be the case there. Your girlfriend needs to check herself because if she is your friend then she will support your decisions and have your back as long as your decisions are not detrimental to your life.

yeah i know what your saying about my friend, and im trying to be friends with my ex's its just not working i dont know.
__________________
Member of the Little Gentleman's Club
xliloliverdiorx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:32 PM   #7
YT Addict
 
xliloliverdiorx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 301
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFidgette View Post
Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.

yeah see thats what i thought was the best thing to do. just leave them and tell them we cant talk until you are over me. And ive told them that many times that they need to get over me before we start hanging out again and stuff like that, they insist that they are over me but they are lying to themselves.

I know, it makes me very angry when people act like i should be answering to them.
__________________
Member of the Little Gentleman's Club
xliloliverdiorx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:33 PM   #8
Luvs Lulu
Donating Member
 
Bizzymammabee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,931
Blog Entries: 1
Default

It's better to make a clean break from both the guys because honestly they seem a bit off.

You need to watch your homegirl too...she might just be a bit interested in your ex that she favors.

Only you can know what guy is right for you. Don't let anyone lead you one way or the other because at the end of the day your the one that has to be in that relationship with them. There is a reason you broke up with them both so stick to your guns.
__________________
Lulu will always be in my heart
Bizzymammabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:44 PM   #9
YT Addict
 
xliloliverdiorx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 301
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee View Post
It's better to make a clean break from both the guys because honestly they seem a bit off.

You need to watch your homegirl too...she might just be a bit interested in your ex that she favors.

Only you can know what guy is right for you. Don't let anyone lead you one way or the other because at the end of the day your the one that has to be in that relationship with them. There is a reason you broke up with them both so stick to your guns.

sticking to my guns is the hardest part for me too. I am always like oh maybe ill give him another chance and then nope doesnt work cause things go back to the same thing. I know i dont know whats with my friend lately either she's just being weird. But she's married so i dont know whats going on with that. you have it right they are both kind of a bit off.
__________________
Member of the Little Gentleman's Club
xliloliverdiorx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 06:52 PM   #10
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker
 
Baby Madeleine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Stuart, Florida
Posts: 1,094
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFidgette View Post
Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.

I agree completely!
__________________
Monica and Madeleine Member of the Spoiled Rotten Club
Baby Madeleine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2008, 09:24 PM   #11
Donating YT 4000 Club Member
 
SladesMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ATX
Posts: 4,513
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFidgette View Post
Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.
GREAT ADdvice!!!!
__________________
GIGANTIC DOG CLOTHES SALE!!! <--- CLlCK!
SladesMommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2008, 06:43 AM   #12
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
celstu1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
Default

OMG.. I hear ya! Everytime I break up with a guy and say I want to be just friends, they NEVER leave me alone!!! IM, TXT, call, invite out...

My only guess on how to handle this is to be very honest when you break up with them. Tell them they are not for you and you do not want to be friends. I have SUCH a hard time hurting someone's feelings (as Im sure most people do) that when I break up with a guy I tend to leave the door a crack open and it gives them false hope that they may have a shot with me later on but thats not the case. I just need to start telling the guy that it is not working, period. So I hear ya!
__________________
“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz
celstu1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2008, 06:53 AM   #13
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
celstu1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
Default

Actually to continue... Im in the SAME boat right now. I broke up with a guy almost a year ago. It was not working, there was NO chemistry... I tried to make it work for a year cuz he is a GREAT guy... but it got to the point that I started resenting him and stopped appreciating his GOOD qualities bc the feelings were not there. So I broke up with him. I told him that I was starting back to college and working full time and I just don't have time, which is partly true, but honestly if I REALLY liked him I would have made time. I just was not into him. I wish I told him that at the time. So for months we've been 'friends'. I know he wants more and keeps wishing I'll change my mind. Its not going to happen. And now Im stuck bc I met a guy I really like and started dating him a month ago and Im afraid to tell the ex! I shouldn't really care bc at the end of the day its up to me to make myself happy, but I hate the fact that its going to hurt him. I also hate that he'll probably take his hurt out in an angry way toward me, like say mean things and stuff and I dont want to deal with it. Isn't that horrible? UUGGGHHH I have to say though, I wish some guys were not soooo emotional that they cannot understand that its not always going to work with a girl they like, whether they want it to or not.

Good Luck with your dilemma girl! Just remember, at the end of the day, its your life and these guys will eventually get over you, so do what you need to do to rid yourself of them, you dont want to be tied down out of a false sense of obligation, you don't owe either of them anything, esp a sacrifice of YOUR happiness!
__________________
“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz
celstu1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2008, 07:28 AM   #14
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
Rockster's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 1,279
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFidgette View Post
Honestly? Cut them both out of your life until they are over you. It'll just drive you crazy. If two people break up, and one still has feelings, someone is gonna get hurt. It's best to break away and possibly become friends when there are no feelings involved. TMHO.

PS. You shouldn't be "answering" to anyone, boyfriend or not.

Great advise!!! Its best to leave ex's in the past. It never works out being just friends so soon after a breakup. I am friends with a few of my ex's but that was after running into them a yr or two after the breakup.
Rockster's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2008, 07:54 AM   #15
YT 1000 Club Member
 
blueeyes_jd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,451
Default

jmho
WHY ARE YOU STILL TAKING THEIR CALLS???????????? I would change my number.. you know they are exes for a reason and as much as you wish they could be your "friend" it just NEVER works out... just worry about the new guy... and ignore the other ones... they dont deserve the time of day from you... just stop giving in before it gets worse... and your friend??? dosent sound like that GREAT of a friend to me...
__________________
Jessica, Gracie's mommy
PROUD MEMBER OF THE SPOILED ROTTEN CLUB! and now YTTA
blueeyes_jd is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:13 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167