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02-08-2008, 12:08 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| So sad and confused right now... miss my Dad! hi, I hope i can just vent here... my parents divorced when I was 19. I have 2 younger brothers, they were 17 and 14. Its been 12 years since the divorce. My mom remarried to a man that me and my brothers ADORE. He is sooo good and accepting of us and my mom. We have NO problems with him whatsoever. My dad married a woman NONE of us like. My middle brother does not speak to my father anymore. He has not spoken to him for about 8 years now. My other brother has moved far away so he does not have the dislike for his wife that us 2 other kids do because he does not know her, however he is not fond of her at all. And I, the target of her behavior bc I was daddys little girl, has taken a verbal beating from her for 12 years. I am the target of her dirty looks, her snide comments, her braggings of stupid things shes gotten to just show off bc my dad is more into her than me now. All ridiculous for a grown woman. I finally had it last june when I called my dad and she answered and told me that I should buy him a father's day gift and then gave me examples of things to buy (and all of them were for stuff she'd get use out of too) and when I told her money was tight Im going back to school, she told me that I had a year to save up for it and thats not an excuse, hes my father. I was in TEARS almost, biting my tounge to not lash out. Then she told me to still come over the following day (I was calling my dad to confirm plans for that visit) but i couldn't bring my dogs (another one of HER rules bc my dad used to LOVE animals so much). So I called my dad the next day and asked him to come up and told him I wouldn't be going to his house anymore or be around her anymore. What she did was the last straw and that Ive taken it long enough. Im a grown woman, not a kid and can make my own decisions about who I care to spend time with. He said he was horrified with her and understood my position, so we made plans once a month to go out to eat dinner together, just him & I. GREAT! Well he sends me an email today telling me I need to get over it, dinner is not working for hm and that Im using them as a target bc of all the stuff that I have been through in the last 2 years and I need someone to aim my anger at. Thats soooo not true!!! He told me he could not think of anything she said to me that should have upset me. So he basically forgot everything we talked about and has gone back to letting her win by keeping him away from his kids. I HATE THIS WOMAN!!! HATE HER! I don't hate ANYONE and I can't even find the words to describe how much I despise her. But I am soooo sad and on the verge of tears bc I didnt want to lose my dad. My mom moved 2500 miles away, my other brother did too and my other brother lives about 1000 miles away. I don't see any of them very often. My dad is sooo close and we were always soooo close and she stole that and hes blaming me. He just won't see it at all. I don't know what to do... my heart is breaking!!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-08-2008, 12:17 PM | #2 | |
Luvs Lulu Donating Member | Quote:
My bil is going through the same thing. His mom and dad split because of infidelity on his dad's part and his mom had enough. Well the lady he cheated with left her husband and small children. Now they are married and she doesn't like his association with his only son...can you believe he let's her run the show that way. The fool has yet to see his granddaughter and grandson....all because of this woman. When my mil passed away (bil's mom) can you believe that his dad didn't rush to his side. His wife thought that the timing was inconvenient being as it was a friday night about 11 when we called them. My bil has realized you can't pick your family but you can sure turn away from those that only seek to hurt you and think about themselves. Personally I would recommend you not waste your time. Leave him be and when he realizes what he has done (god willing it won't be long) he should come looking.
__________________ Lulu will always be in my heart Last edited by Bizzymammabee; 02-08-2008 at 12:19 PM. | |
02-08-2008, 12:24 PM | #3 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,225
| you need to call him it may not have been him who actually sent that email i just dont understand how a "parent " could chose sides against their child i just dont get it i dont ever want to either im sorry you feel this way but i believe people eventually realize how they have hurt people and regret it and wonder what made them think and act the way they did in the past!
__________________ A pet's love is true right from the start, through good times and bad, like sharing one heart. |
02-08-2008, 12:29 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| He is still so angry at my mom. He said that he sees my mom in me and that surprises him. Anything he can say to try to avoid confrontation he'll say I guess, but thats ridiculous. He just won't see that his wife is the cause of this. Its me or my brother, or my mother (they have not spoken a word in 10 years and she has let go of her anger and moved on in life, he has not) he said my mother influenced us against his wife. So not true.... but my mom was there to lick our wounds when we were hurt by her. Like a PARENT SHOULD!!!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
02-08-2008, 12:36 PM | #5 | |
Luvs Lulu Donating Member | Quote:
So what if you remind him of your mom....He loved her once and your a reminder of the good things that they accomplished. Silly man. Doesn't he see that none of his children are in his life...doesn't he wonder how come it's always the other person's fault and not hers. Ack I could slap him for you. I totally dispise my MIL's ex...he is a waste of life for the way he has treated my BIL because of his new wife. From what I heard from the rest of his family she is trying to start problems with them too. The gloves are off and she has been showing her a$$ to them too. One day I pray he will realize the error of his ways and come to his senses.
__________________ Lulu will always be in my heart | |
02-08-2008, 12:49 PM | #6 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| OH NO!! What a mess! and I am sorry you are dealing w/ this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...maybe this will be worked out soon....and in best interest to all!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
02-08-2008, 02:29 PM | #7 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Quote:
Bizzy Im sorry about your husbands stepmother... she sounds like a piece of work too! I guess no matter if they are family or not, some people are just not worth it, and I can say that your hubbys stepmother and my stepmother are SOOOO not worth it. Actually I dont even EVER say stepmother bc her image and the word 'mother' do not go together in my head. I do call my moms hubby my stepfather bc I love him!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz | |
02-08-2008, 02:33 PM | #8 |
Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
| Is it possible that she has access to his email and sent it herself?
__________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy |
02-08-2008, 02:39 PM | #9 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| My Husband didnt like His stepmother either neither did any of his brothers.She basically used his Dad. She was a hypochondriac and had all kinds of made up illnesses. The difference in his situation and yours is his dad knew it and just diidnt want to leave his wife high and dry. My Husband mainTained a wonderful relationship with his father despite his wife. He was glad he did because his Dad endedd up getting a brain tumor and he died when my husband was 34. I think you should try to maintain whatever type of relationship you can have with your Dad. You never know when a moment with them will be your last.
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
02-08-2008, 02:41 PM | #10 | |
I love my baby girls! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,718
| Quote:
I have two lovely step daughters and I would NEVER make a difference between them and my biological children. Nor would I make my husband choose. I'm sure I would lose anyway. And I should if I drew that line! Remind him that you ALL can't be wrong. I agree with the above post. Do what you can to salvage your relationship with your Father. Not that you should have to make such an effort...life isn't always fair. I wish you much luck with this situation. I know it has to be heart breaking for you. Any chance you'll ever move closer to your Mother? You're in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ Tammy, Mama to Abby Grace Daisy Mae RIP Peanut & Chloe, ABBY 's WINSTON Within the heart of every stray Lies the singular desire to be loved Last edited by MyPeanutAbbyGra; 02-08-2008 at 02:43 PM. | |
02-08-2008, 03:01 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 7000 Club Member | I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I don't have any advice, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I sincerely hope that your father will realize that you are not the cause of this.
__________________ Megan "I have my dreams, I have made plans." - The Pirate Queen All Gave Some; Some Gave All |
02-08-2008, 04:44 PM | #12 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Seneca, SC
Posts: 2,837
| Have you called your Dad to make sure, he's the one that wrote the e=mail and that it wasn't the witch?? |
02-08-2008, 04:45 PM | #13 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Seneca, SC
Posts: 2,837
| |
02-08-2008, 04:59 PM | #14 |
Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 9,333
| Sounds all too familiar to me. Here's the short version; my parents divorced when I was 12 (I am the oldest of 5). My dad kept an apartment, but basically moved in with our neighbor (who was also married at the time, but her husband was an over-the-road truck driver and gone lots). She divorced about 6 months later and she and her 3 young children moved into a mobile home with my dad. They officially got married 2 years later. We were not invited to the wedding. My dad didn't pay a dime of child support for 5 years till my mom was able to get his wages garnished. Within a couple months of my dad being gone, we were on welfare, foodstamps and medicaid as he also refused to pay any of our major medical expenses. My stepmother hated having anything to do with us. We were lucky if our dad called us a few times a year (they lived 2 miles away) and only saw us once or twice. Every time we were around my stepmother, one of us was always getting yelled at about something with her children. Then, later on she would call us and continue to tell us nasty things and how we weren't welcome, we were ungrateful, etc. When we would tell our dad what she said we were accused of lying because she "loved us and would never do anything like that". So, she basically succeeded in keeping us apart for many years. I did eventually come to peace with them after my children were born - strictly for the sake of my children knowing their grandfather, but I was always the one working on the relationship. I always did the calling, always did the visitng. It ended up biting me in the a$$ (in a very major, tragic way)and we no longer have any contact. Unfortunately, many women rule the roost and are very threatened by a man's children and the dad's don't have the balls to stand up for their children. He is the loser in the end. As daughters we will always want our daddy's in our life, but sometimes it just isn't worth the heartache. I hope whatever you want works out for you. It is a very tough thing to do through.
__________________ Sissy & Angel |
02-10-2008, 01:04 PM | #15 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Quote:
There is no way his wife has access to his email, so it was definately him who sent it. I don't even think the bimbo knows how to USE a computer! Plus I know my dads writing style so Im positive it was him.
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz | |
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