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11-17-2007, 09:49 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sequim, Wa
Posts: 4,541
| Should I or shouldn't I? (Personal issue) I am in a bit of a quandary and would like your honest opinion about something. In 1997, I started a business with a family member-her idea (I know, big mistake). She said she had the capital, I trusted her (shouldn't have). At any rate, the business did not succeed as much as we had hoped. We were operating in the red, though still had the potential to turn things around. My business partner was self employed in another business (I did not know it too was operating in the red). She closed that business. She then got several different jobs that she quit for a variety of "personal reasons", most often that she just did not like the boss or could not get along with other staff. During this time, she was not putting any effort in to our business, while I was working a full time job and running my own "other" business. One day, while unemployed, she sold her house and then filed personal bankruptcy, without the courtesy of giving me some warning that this was to happen. Out of the blue, I get an email that in essence says she filed the big BK and "congrats, you are the proud owner of all of our business debt". I won't say how much, too much. Well, things got ugly with attorneys and such and we have not spoken since. I ended up with a pittance of $ from her BK, which I applied toward paying off our business debt. That small amount did not begin to pay the attorney bills I incurred to deal with the business side of her filing BK. At the time she filed the big BK, I bought her share (more money invested) of the business from her, so she no longer had any stake in it at all. Today, I paid off all of that debt. I feel so proud and at the same time so angry to have let myself get into this mess! It has taken me 7 years to do this, working full time at essentially two jobs to make it happen. About this time, my former business partner is probably celebrating in that the magic 7 years has passed to discharge her BK and she can once again start running up credit card debt. So here is my quandary. Part of me, my peri-menopausal side, wants to rub it in her face and send her a "congratulations card", announcing the business debt has been paid off. The non peri-menopausal side of me says "don't invest the energy". What would you do? Rub it in her face or let this date pass quietly by?
__________________ Gracie loves Bailey. Holly loves Tucker. Proud member of the YT Gracie Girls. Last edited by Gracie2006; 11-17-2007 at 09:53 AM. |
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11-17-2007, 09:59 AM | #2 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| I wouldn't waste the energy. If she is family then it will eventually get back to her (you could "let it slip" around other family members to make sure). That way you 1) Look like the bigger person because you didn't rub it in her face, and 2) Still get the pleasure of knowing that she knows so still sort of rubbing it in without actually rubbing it in. Does that make sense?
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
11-17-2007, 10:03 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sequim, Wa
Posts: 4,541
| I guess I should clarify something. The only family left living is this woman and her brother's. They are all really close, and I am certain that she has had nothing but unkind things to say about me. I don't think the rest of us have exchanged a card or a two-word email since she filed BK, so there would be no one to let things "slip" to.
__________________ Gracie loves Bailey. Holly loves Tucker. Proud member of the YT Gracie Girls. |
11-17-2007, 10:03 AM | #4 |
I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 7,373
| Wow congratulations! That is an absolutely amazing accomplishment! I personally wouldn't waist another thought about that person. She has sucked enough out of you and with her values probably couldn't appreciate what you were able to do (and she was not) anyway. Celebrate- you certainly deserve it.
__________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226 |
11-17-2007, 10:05 AM | #5 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NYC
Posts: 1,859
| great advice I agree. Quote:
__________________ Its SummerTime! | |
11-17-2007, 10:06 AM | #6 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of getting a card. You should be proud of yourself.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
11-17-2007, 10:07 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| In that case, I agree with Nikki. Just be proud of yourself (I know I'm certainly proud of you and very happy for you!) and don't waste any more of your time or energy on her.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
11-17-2007, 10:18 AM | #8 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| Yeah, don't waste your time. You don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking she really got to you and you haven't forgot in 7 years. I wouldn't stoop to her level.
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
11-17-2007, 10:26 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas
Posts: 5,272
| Congratulations! You should be sooooo proud of yourself and what you have accomplished. Don't waste your time with this family member, either in time, thoughts, or the cost of a card and stamp. She will dig herself in another hole all by herself. Way to go. |
11-17-2007, 11:15 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 11K Club Member | I wouldn't waste the energy either! And congratulations on paying the debt!! That is a huge thing, a great thing! I know you feel so proud!
__________________ Primrose, Teddy..RIP, Livie..RIP, And can never forget my duo Sophie and London, Run in Peace <3 |
11-17-2007, 11:30 AM | #11 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN
Posts: 11,145
| I have a greeting card that i could give you to send to her...it says' "you are cordially invited....(then on the inside) to eat $#@% and die" hehe i'm kidding of course ( but i do have the card if anyone else could use it LOL) i would not waste much energy on her. i know how hard it is to NOT say something about it, but honestly, just be proud of yourself and do your own thing. don't let her bring you down and don't waste any more of your money (on the stamp) and enjoy your new found financial freedom. while she may be free of that 7 year BK, she still has a lot of re-building to do so i don't suspect she will be enjoying herself too awful much.
__________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog |
11-17-2007, 11:42 AM | #12 |
YT 6000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 6,238
| First off, CONGRATULATIONS! If I was in your situation, I think I may be tempted to try and show her up, but I think knowing that you worked yourself out of the situation and that you did it without using the easy way out would be satisfaction enough. And, like if you said, your former business partner will just go back in debt, it doesn't sound like she has learned anything at all. Be happy for yourself, enjoy your success. What would Gracie think? |
11-17-2007, 11:45 AM | #13 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| Wow!! a BIG congrats for paying off that debt. What are you doing with the business now that is paid off? Or has it been sold? I, too, would not bother with her.....I wouldn't even think about it. I know that you are proud of yourself for not taking the route she took, but I would just leave it be and relish in the joy of your accomplishment!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
11-17-2007, 11:47 AM | #14 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,015
| Congratulations on paying off your debt! Your former business partner doesn't deserve acknowledgement of any kind, you don't want her to think that you have ever given her a second thought....good or bad!! Go out and have a celebration dinner and feel good about yourself, you earned the right....literally. At least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you paid off your debt with your own hard work and no assistance. At the end of a good days work, you can pat yourself on the back.....can she? I doubt it!!
__________________ Piper Leo Baby Piccolo |
11-17-2007, 11:49 AM | #15 |
Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: MN
Posts: 7,575
| You've done great getting out of that mess. Good for you!!! Like others have said, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of any communication. To someone like that, it wouldn't mean anything, anyway. Just be darn proud of yourself... we are here!!!! |
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