YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-13-2007, 10:58 AM   #1
No Longer a Member
 
DENISE517's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 4,449
Default I'm at my Witz end - need teenager advice

Ok, my daughter lauryn is a good kid, except she has this smart, talk back to ya mouth. I swear it goes right thru me. I think its very disrespectful. She only does it to me not her father. Of course, I'm the one who is with her most the time and my hubby and I dont see eye to eye on how to handle it.

He babies her realllllllly bad. he sticks up for her (in front of her, which feed her even more) I don't know how much of this I can take. I feel its starting to effect my marriage cause he backs her up and not me. I've told him how I feel a million times and it never changes. Sometimes I feel like walking out and say ok, you 2 do what you want...(lol) (i'd never walk out on my family, just get ticked off sometimes..lol)

I don't think 14 years old should be able to mouth back to there parents.
I know we didn't do it when I was a kid or we'd be in big trouble and if my dad heard us do it to my mom, we were in bigger trouble.

I feel as though my hubby doesn't have any respect for me either.

please help....any advice
DENISE517 is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 11-13-2007, 11:03 AM   #2
I heart Sugar
Donating Member
 
Nikki+2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,373
Default

Aww, Denise that would make me mad too! I'm sorry I don't have any advise other than to just keep working on your hubby. It seems like it wont get better until his behavior changes. Hmm, maybe a reward system- everytime he takes your side he gets an, ahem, treat. LOL, probably terrible advise but it would probably have an impact. If he wont take your side for the right reasons then maybe he will for another reason.

Okay, someone jump in and save Denise from my awful and silly advise!
__________________
"If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226
Nikki+2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:03 AM   #3
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
Graleyne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
Default

Unfortunately, I have no advice. What I DO have is sympathy. I am going through the EXACT same thing with my 13 year old (who happens to be named Lauren as well).

What gets me is there is NOTHING that seems to work. Once I threatened to not let her attend a school dance and that seemed to do the trick, but there aren't always school dances to threaten with, you know?
__________________
Aerrica, and Norman
RIP my sweet Poopanut
Graleyne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:04 AM   #4
I heart Sugar
Donating Member
 
Nikki+2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,373
Default

Wow, I have a 13 yr. old Lauren too!
__________________
"If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226
Nikki+2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:05 AM   #5
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
sims822257's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,436
Default

OH Denise I am so sorry and hate to hear this. I am not a mommy as you know but as a daughter I remember being just horrible to my mom and man oh man I apologize to her daily for it still. I was such a rebel and so mean and nasty at times. Only thing I can say to you is my mom never gave up on me (not that I think you ever would) and now we are the BEST of friends. My mom used to just say to herself ..."This too shall pass” and it did.

It does not make what you daughter or hubby is doing right nor does my story help you but honestly if I could help you understand how horrible I was as a teenager and now to look at my mom and I it may give you hope.

Sending you BIG hugs girl - love ya and hang in there!!
__________________
Caren, mommy to Murphy and Mia

Murphy WUVS his girlfriend Trixie
sims822257 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:06 AM   #6
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
Graleyne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki+2 View Post
Wow, I have a 13 yr. old Lauren too!
Is your Lauren a sassy pants too? lol
__________________
Aerrica, and Norman
RIP my sweet Poopanut
Graleyne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:13 AM   #7
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
Mybabyboymax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,859
Default

I feel your pain, My daughter is 12 and she really is a good kid with the exception of her talking back at times and her attitude. I would tell her over and over to stop. My hubby gets just as angry as I do, so we both talk to her nothing worked. with my daughter it isnt so much that she talks back but her facial expressions. I tell her to wash dishes...she doesnt complain but she puts a face and stomps to do it....not cool! so i can tell u what i have done that worked for us...I gave her what she gives me. If I tell her to do something or ask her to help and she gives me attitude, for the whole day I treat her the same way. when she says mom...can I go online? I give her the same bad look and say NO. then i asked her how did she like it when I was nasty with her and she would tell me she felt bad, and now it has gotten soooooooo much better! she will notice that it doesnt feel good when someone gives you attitude for no reason. 12-15 is a really hard age for all of us...parents and kids. they are going through so many changes and we have to realize that. I dont think its right for them to act this way but I try to remember when I was a teenager and how I was. except my mom was alot harder than me.
__________________
Its SummerTime!
Mybabyboymax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:18 AM   #8
Donating YT 5000 Club Member
 
patty58's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: texas
Posts: 5,272
Default

I can really sympathize with you and whoever finds the answer will be rich and famous. My 10 year old granddaughter lives with us (with her mother and little sister) and she already has a smart mouth, attitude, look....all of it. And there is not father to side with her, but a very doting grandfather
patty58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:19 AM   #9
No Longer a Member
 
DENISE517's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 4,449
Default

lol must be something in the name.

I do everything for her. I mean she is 14 has a pink lap top, a orange NV phone, wear mostly only Abercrombie/ Hollister the child has the best of the best for a teenager.

I do and take her and her friends everywhere. Maybe I do too much. Maybe that's the problem. I just didnt have all that fancy stuff as a kid and alot of kids did, so I think we try to make up for it and give our kids toooo much.

I've taken the phone away, the computer away, weekends w/ friends away, spanked her butt (lol yes even that) everything.

Its hard when she just runs to daddy.

and i would reward my hubby when he is on my side, but I could care less to look at him right now, let alone anything else...hahahahaha

Maybe I should take a week and just stop doing my normal stuff for them and let them see all I do? Heck I don't know. lol
DENISE517 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:22 AM   #10
No Longer a Member
 
DENISE517's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 4,449
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mybabyboymax View Post
I feel your pain, My daughter is 12 and she really is a good kid with the exception of her talking back at times and her attitude. I would tell her over and over to stop. My hubby gets just as angry as I do, so we both talk to her nothing worked. with my daughter it isnt so much that she talks back but her facial expressions. I tell her to wash dishes...she doesnt complain but she puts a face and stomps to do it....not cool! so i can tell u what i have done that worked for us...I gave her what she gives me. If I tell her to do something or ask her to help and she gives me attitude, for the whole day I treat her the same way. when she says mom...can I go online? I give her the same bad look and say NO. then i asked her how did she like it when I was nasty with her and she would tell me she felt bad, and now it has gotten soooooooo much better! she will notice that it doesnt feel good when someone gives you attitude for no reason. 12-15 is a really hard age for all of us...parents and kids. they are going through so many changes and we have to realize that. I dont think its right for them to act this way but I try to remember when I was a teenager and how I was. except my mom was alot harder than me.

oh yes!!! the good old facial expressions then when you get on to them, they says, I didnt do anything. grrrr

her only duties is to keep her room clean and empty the dish washer after i load it....THAT IS IT. and guess what... I have to remind her to clean her room and to empty the dish washer...

grrrrrr sorry i'm just venting!!!! i knew you guys would listen. ahahahah
DENISE517 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:22 AM   #11
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
sims822257's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,436
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DENISE517 View Post
lol must be something in the name.

I do everything for her. I mean she is 14 has a pink lap top, a orange NV phone, wear mostly only Abercrombie/ Hollister the child has the best of the best for a teenager.

I do and take her and her friends everywhere. Maybe I do too much. Maybe that's the problem. I just didnt have all that fancy stuff as a kid and alot of kids did, so I think we try to make up for it and give our kids toooo much.

I've taken the phone away, the computer away, weekends w/ friends away, spanked her butt (lol yes even that) everything.

Its hard when she just runs to daddy.

and i would reward my hubby when he is on my side, but I could care less to look at him right now, let alone anything else...hahahahaha

Maybe I should take a week and just stop doing my normal stuff for them and let them see all I do? Heck I don't know. lol
Denise...I think you could use a weekend away -- hee, hee....like at the spa, OH or better yet come to see Me, Murphy and Mia - we will welcome you and Miss Maddie with open arms and paws!!
__________________
Caren, mommy to Murphy and Mia

Murphy WUVS his girlfriend Trixie
sims822257 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:24 AM   #12
YT Addict
 
momof4CA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bay area, CA
Posts: 345
Default

I don't have much advice on how to deal with you DH. What about family councling? Where you could sit down with someone else and make a parenting plan.

My Dh and I don't always see eye to eye on things with the kids...I am the strick one and he is the easy going one.

A parent should never take a childs side in front of the child!! This is for behind closed doors. Even if you have to drag your DH into a bedroom or bathroom to talk privately. You have to be a united front, even if you don't agree at the moment.

As far as dealing with your DD's talking back. It is a normal stage, but that doesn't make it right. If my DD talks with disrespect, the first time she gets a warning. The second time, she looses priviledges for the rest of the day. If it happens a third time in one day, she has to go to her room until the next morning. There have been times where she has gone weeks without TV, computer, cell phone, ipod, etc.

** Remember this too will pass...just like all the other stages!!
momof4CA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:26 AM   #13
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
 
Graleyne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
Default

What gets me is when I see her around her friends mothers and hear her talk to them. She turns into the sweetest, most polite child in the world. Everything out of her mouth is, "Yes ma'am" "No ma'am" "Thank you" etc. and I'm left standing there looking at her like "Who ARE you?"
__________________
Aerrica, and Norman
RIP my sweet Poopanut
Graleyne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:28 AM   #14
Senior Yorkie Talker
 
jlo&brit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Fairfield TX
Posts: 93
Default

My one and only daughter will be 20 in Jan. Boy do I remember those days!!!
However my hubby was on my side so it was a little better. Yours needs to get with the program asap.
You have to remember their hormones are going crazy, and they are not used to it either. Are you finding a pattern with her time of month??
Britney did get in trouble i.e. no phone, comp, friends, etc. Stay firm and consistant. I promise it will pass. Just don't let her get away with too much, and she'll return to your good girl again.
And then there will be the issues with boys......................................
ugh!!

I have 2 sons 16 and 10 they are different but we still have our problems.
Keep tough and pray!!
jlo&brit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2007, 11:28 AM   #15
YT 6000 Club Member
 
vainchick5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 6,588
Default

I don't have kids but I studied child psychology and read a lot of books. The best way to handle this type of behavior is taking priviledges away. Take cell phone, tv time, no hanging out with friends, no computer priviledges for a long time if not for good. Maybe make her do chores instead of going out. Stop taking her shopping, no more spending. That makes a bigger difference than yelling, or fighting with her about it. Everytime she gives you attitude or talks back, take something from her. You literally take it, so your husband can't give it back.
__________________
Mommy to Coco and Rocco

Last edited by vainchick5; 11-13-2007 at 11:30 AM.
vainchick5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167