More Chemo questions please

[tammy8833]

okay everyone helped me before and i know this is a yorkie website but it seems cancer touches us all. in other post i hve discussed how my mom is going through breast cancer, she has had 2 surgeries and on friday goes for her first iv chemo, she got a bunch of pills to take today.

the chemo is supposed to last from November to January..has anyone that has gone through this been able to go to work? my mom is still trying to go to work to keep her position, her health insurance and everything. she has been there 25 years, they are willing to work with her leaving 1/2 days and such if need be..but she only has 12 weeks disabilty so she wants to keep working so she doesnt eat it up in case she needs time later on. im thinking she cant work because he risk of getting colds while taking chemo..right? what happens if she does lose her job for whatever reason what do you do for health insurance? my husband said if they needed money he would get a second job and give them the paycheck but what do you do about medical coverage if that happened?

she cut her hair really short this weekend to prepare for the loss, she is planning on taking a seminar for cancer patients for makeup and wigs and she is supposed to get a free wig that day..she actually excited sounding about the wig stuff..she has always had shoulder length thin blonde hair so she wants to go red..lol

what happens during chemo? what can she and cant she do?

[bchgirl]

Hi neighbor! I'm in Va beach. I'm sorry I don't know the answers to your questions....but maybe I can help with a bump. I'm sorry your mom is so sick.....prayers and blessings from down at the beach.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by tammy8833

okay everyone helped me before and i know this is a yorkie website but it seems cancer touches us all. in other post i hve discussed how my mom is going through breast cancer, she has had 2 surgeries and on friday goes for her first iv chemo, she got a bunch of pills to take today.

the chemo is supposed to last from November to January..has anyone that has gone through this been able to go to work? my mom is still trying to go to work to keep her position, her health insurance and everything. she has been there 25 years, they are willing to work with her leaving 1/2 days and such if need be..but she only has 12 weeks disabilty so she wants to keep working so she doesnt eat it up in case she needs time later on. im thinking she cant work because he risk of getting colds while taking chemo..right? what happens if she does lose her job for whatever reason what do you do for health insurance? my husband said if they needed money he would get a second job and give them the paycheck but what do you do about medical coverage if that happened?

she cut her hair really short this weekend to prepare for the loss, she is planning on taking a seminar for cancer patients for makeup and wigs and she is supposed to get a free wig that day..she actually excited sounding about the wig stuff..she has always had shoulder length thin blonde hair so she wants to go red..lol

what happens during chemo? what can she and cant she do?

Tammy, first of all, I am so VERY sorry that you and your mother and your family are going through this. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in September, so it is still a new thing for me as well. My mom went for her second chemo treatment yesterday and she is still working full-time. She takes off a lot for appointments (chemo, bloodwork, check-ups, scans, etc. etc.) but she does still work--by choice. The doctors told her that she can work as long as she feels up to it and as long as her white blood cell count stays high (which means she'll be less prone to infection). If the blood cell count goes low, the doctor is going to ask her to take off for a few days until they can get it back up. So your mom should be fine as long as her doctor says it's okay. Just be sure she has lots of hand sanitizer and wipes and such, especially if she's on the phone. Also, see if there's any way she can limit the contact she has with others. Those are the precautions my mom has taken and she is doing fine so far.

I'm trying to get my mom to go to the "Look Good...Feel Great" make-up and wig sessions as well, but here they are only offered on Mondays during the work day and she feels bad taking extra time off work since she has to leave for Dr's appointments so often already. I know her employer wouldn't mind, but she won't even consider right now. I hope your mom is able to go and that she gets a lot out of it. It's great that she's excited about the wigs! That will be really helpful!

What kind of chemo is your mom getting? Some kinds are less prone to causing hair loss than others. My mom is on AC which is VERY strong. She lost her hair after only a week and a half. It has been hard, but I tell her all the time how great her scarves, hats, and wigs look on her. Hopefully that helps.

Sorry to ramble. This is all new to me too...

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I also use AIM with the same SN.

*hugs* Best of luck to you, your mom, and your family!

[Oscar's Mom]

My sister Sharon was on chemo for the last year and a half. She said that if your mom feels like working, there is no reason she should not be able to do just that. If her white blood cells get low, they can give her a shot to boost them back up. If her job is willing to work with her on half days and such she should be fine. There will be days when she feels fine and can work all day and days she might not. Expect days when she won't feel like breathing and days when she will feel normal. Take it a day at a time. It all depends on what chemo they give her as to how she will feel. And it also depends on her system and how she takes it. My sis said to sit back and enjoy the hair loss...don't fret about it! She said it can be funny! She has lost her hair twice now...you never know what it will be like when it grows back. My sis is a blonde and the first time it grew back really dark and REALLY curly! The second time it grew back dark and gray and much thicker than it ever was and CURLY, CURLY, CURLY! During the chemo, take anything they will give her to make her feel better...you DON'T have to feel bad. Even if she is tired, they can give her something. There are drugs for every symptom of chemo...ask for them. If you don't tell them you are feeling bad or having a problem, they are not gonna just give it to you...you will have to ask for it...don't be afaid to ask. If something does not work for her, they have something else. What is your mom's name...we will add her to our prayer list!

[tammy8833]

bchgirl thank you

angie we just found out in early august, i dont know what kind of chemo just that its the iv kind..thats good that your mom is able to still work..you helped me understand some more on it. i was thinking your immune system was virtually gone once you started the chemo

wow i couldnt believe her hair feel out in only a week and half thats fast..my mom is very upbeat about it all. she is planning christmas, i actually volunteered to do thanksgiving and forgot how pregnant i will be then..lol..almost 9 months by the time thanksgiving gets here.

shes doing really well with it all...my dad is usually fine...but tongiht when i took my son over there to go trick or treating my dad is like "did you hear the side effects? death is a side effect" talk about a blow to me! i could have lived with not hearing that. now im home and really down about it. i cant sleep..i go to bed and start crying so i get back up..i dont want to show anyone what a cry baby i am,,gosh when mom first mention it was cancer i bawled like a baby and couldnt control it..i felt so bad doing that infront of her...then when she called and told me chemo..i had to rush her off the phone so i wouldnt cry on her then..and tonight im taking it hard.

im scared to death of losing my moma.
im scared to see her sick, to see her lose her hair, appetitie, nails, etc... i ve been reading too much on line.

im not very strong and i dont know what emotions i can control around her anymore...im scared to hug her because i dont know if i can let go or not cry...

i guess im just having a bad night...i dont want to wake up my husband he has gotta get up so early for work..

[Oscar's Mom]

Sharon is sitting here with me right now...he-he!!! She said not to wait for the hair to fall out because if you do, it hurts. She said when it starts falling out to go ahead and shave it...this also helps you to feel in control of what is happening. She said the second time she lost her hair, it was kind of funny. She had been on a new chemo for two weeks, but lost all of her hair within three days once it started falling out in week two. She sat on the couch watching a movie making a little hair pile as she ran her fingers thru her hair and it just fell out.

[tammy8833]

thanks her name is sherry

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by tammy8833

bchgirl thank you

angie we just found out in early august, i dont know what kind of chemo just that its the iv kind..thats good that your mom is able to still work..you helped me understand some more on it. i was thinking your immune system was virtually gone once you started the chemo

wow i couldnt believe her hair feel out in only a week and half thats fast..my mom is very upbeat about it all. she is planning christmas, i actually volunteered to do thanksgiving and forgot how pregnant i will be then..lol..almost 9 months by the time thanksgiving gets here.

shes doing really well with it all...my dad is usually fine...but tongiht when i took my son over there to go trick or treating my dad is like "did you hear the side effects? death is a side effect" talk about a blow to me! i could have lived with not hearing that. now im home and really down about it. i cant sleep..i go to bed and start crying so i get back up..i dont want to show anyone what a cry baby i am,,gosh when mom first mention it was cancer i bawled like a baby and couldnt control it..i felt so bad doing that infront of her...then when she called and told me chemo..i had to rush her off the phone so i wouldnt cry on her then..and tonight im taking it hard.

im scared to death of losing my moma.
im scared to see her sick, to see her lose her hair, appetitie, nails, etc... i ve been reading too much on line.

im not very strong and i dont know what emotions i can control around her anymore...im scared to hug her because i dont know if i can let go or not cry...

i guess im just having a bad night...i dont want to wake up my husband he has gotta get up so early for work..

I understand completely. I have gone through, and still go through, each and every one of those emotions. I was a total wreck when mom first told me. We both just cried and held each other for the longest time. I had never been so scared in my life, not even when I had health problems of my own.

You are lucky that your mom is so upbeat. My mom goes through cycles. Sometimes she'll laugh and joke and other times she seems really depressed. It's a hard thing to watch as a daughter, and not being able to do anything to help.

Knowing that others care for her and are praying for her has helped more than anything. You can go to www.4womentalk.com and see her posts (she's forgivenmom5) and how encouraging the other ladies there have been to her. It's amazing. They cheer her up SO much! Maybe your mom could join the forum as well, then our moms would have each other to talk to and go to for support...not to mention all of the other ladies there who are wonderful and caring and supportive.

I'm sorry you are having a bad night. I've had my share of those too. *hugs*

[knowak]

I am a nurse and my son has`had leukemia twice. Everyone reacts`differently to chemo. When her counts are low, she will be very susceptible to infections and should not unnecessarily be exposed to illnesses and would need to stay home. She will feel weak at times. There are medications for nausea and she should take them, so she can eat and function as well as possible.
If she works and the employer has more than 20(?) employees she is eligible for family medical leave, a federal program that keeps her insurance paid for 3 months. She can take it 1 hour at a time or the whole time all at once. You also can apply for FMLA so you can get the same leave You can use vacation, holiday, sick time if you have it but at least your insurance is` paid.
Find favorite foods, stay close and just let her know you love her and are there for her and accept help...if anyone offers to cook a meal etc...let them. You'll get run down too!!

[SladesMommy]

I'm so sorry your family is having to go through this. My mom went through it, I wish she was computer literate so she could post. I'll ask her the questions tomorrow, but here is what I remember. I was away at college for much of the time, but this is correct as I remember

My mom went through a round of chemo from August- October when her surgery was then after the surgery she had several more rounds to make sure all the cancer was gone.

Mom worked up through her first few rounds of chemo, but the night before I went back to college for fall semester she was put in the hospital for being REALLY sick. she works at a daycare, and her doctor said "NO MORE!!", it was just too much of a risk being around all the kids. After her surgery she did go back and just cook for them in the mornings but couldn't be around the kids much. She finally did go back to full time after her chemo finished.

Mom did the IV kind every other week. She would do it on Fridays and the wknds would be hell. she would be sick and not feel like getting out of bed. It was horrible seeing her like that. She also lost a bunch of weight. It would take her til about Weds to start feeling okay again.

My mom was lucky not to lose all her hair. It thinned out some, but never really went bald or even close to it. she joked that she was hoping it'd all fall off and grow back in a different color other than her current grey. She went to one of those look good, feel good things and got all sorts of makeup (which she shared since she never wears anything other than lipstick)

[Baby Blessing]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

I understand completely. I have gone through, and still go through, each and every one of those emotions. I was a total wreck when mom first told me. We both just cried and held each other for the longest time. I had never been so scared in my life, not even when I had health problems of my own.

You are lucky that your mom is so upbeat. My mom goes through cycles. Sometimes she'll laugh and joke and other times she seems really depressed. It's a hard thing to watch as a daughter, and not being able to do anything to help.

Knowing that others care for her and are praying for her has helped more than anything. You can go to www.4womentalk.com and see her posts (she's forgivenmom5) and how encouraging the other ladies there have been to her. It's amazing. They cheer her up SO much! Maybe your mom could join the forum as well, then our moms would have each other to talk to and go to for support...not to mention all of the other ladies there who are wonderful and caring and supportive.

I'm sorry you are having a bad night. I've had my share of those too. *hugs*

Thanks for posting the site here, I went to it and joined the site.
Tammy I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers, I did send you a pm a bit ago. Hugs to you from the both of us here.
Patti and Jack

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Baby Blessing

Thanks for posting the site here, I went to it and joined the site.
Tammy I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers, I did send you a pm a bit ago. Hugs to you from the both of us here.
Patti and Jack

Oh cool! I look forward to seeing you there!

Tammy, I hope your night has gotten better!!!