I CANT get over my mothers death!!! HELP!

[joy and bella]

I posted a while back about my mom dying and since have rarely been on YT. I find myself running from the things that I did while she was here so that I dont have to think of how much better it was when she was here. It had been a little over 7 months, and nothing is gettign better. i am so angry at everything, i have no motivation for school, and at times i just want to die. I would never take my own life, but i am sad to say that the thought crosses my mind. i feel that i can talk to my friends because none of them understand and i feel like a burden with all these issues. My family just says the same things over and over, but it seems like they are all moving on so much better than me. my mom was my everything!!! i cant explain it....i just wonder if maybe some people dont get over these things. maybe you love someone so much and have such a connection that life is never the same without them. will i ever be happpy again? i have moments of happiness, but if one little thing in my life changes i get seriously depressed. i cant handle anything going wrong...and i used to be so strong! i just dont know who i am anymore! when i lost her i lost myself!

i am sorry this is so long, i just didnt know where else to turn!

[Grayson's mom]

I lost my mother too to cancer at the age of 50. That was in 2001 and I felt robbed along with my kids. I know what your going through and in time you will be better. I was angry as well as the day she passed she asked me to leave on a crazy mission for her and when I returned she had passed. I was upset she didn't want me there.

Have you tried talking to a professional? I did and so did my oldest son (he was 7 then) and it helped me alot as well as medication. I still miss my mother as she was my best friend she has truly missed out on so much.

I'm here for you if you want to talk.

[grayxie]

Have you tried bereavement groups?

[Betty'sMom]

I am so sorry for you. I wish I could help you more, but I think time is the best healer. When you lose a vital part of your life, it is normal to be sad...some people take longer to heal than others. Just 'hang onto' the happy moments that you feel and try hard not to dwell on the sadder moments. If you feel like you might want to discuss this with a doctor, you should do that. We are here for you. (hug)

[mustangbee]

One of the hardest things in life is the loss of a parent. I have been there with both my parents and both my In-Laws. You really need to stay strong, they are watching over you. My Mom was my best friend, we did everything together, I was lost when she left us. My Mother In Law was the best of the best, we too were best friends. I felt lost, who would answer all the questions I always seem to have? I had to lean on some very strong friends, because when it comes to a lost loved one, I'm weak. It breaks my heart to see pain in my friends eyes. Yes, I support my friends 100%, but they don't see the tears inside me.
Please find a good friend to sit and talk to, or maybe a support group in your town. You must go on with your life. Your Mom still lives in your heart and she always will. Make her proud, she's watching you.

May God Bless You.

[Shadow]

Your post has me in tears.

Honey my Mom has been gone 4 /1/2 years , my Dad passed 2 years ago this coming New years day and I haven't been the same since. I will lash out,it seems like it is coming out of the blue.
I often say my soul died with them. I sometimes feel like Im going to move pass it,that is short lived.I too have had fleeting thoughts of suicide bit would never do that too my family.
I try to stay busy and my sewing/crafting helps me alot and my furbutts.
Some people don't understand the loss we feel,they think you grieve for a month then it is done.Maybe they don't love like we do,I don't know.
There is not a hour that goes by that Im not saddned by thier passing.I miss them so.
Maybe talking to someone will help,greive support groups are free and are in almost every city,I think it helps knowing others feel the same as us.
Hugs,Debi

[joy and bella]

i dont know what that group is??

as far as talking to someone, i did. i have trouble opening up to people, and i also tend to keep things like this bottled up. i want to ignore it bc thinking of it hurts so badly! my therapist lives in fort lauderdale, where my mom used to live, and i currently live 4 hours away. i am moving home in mid decemeber so i will be able to start seeing her again soon. i was supposed to go on medication, but my boyfriend at the time (now ex) made me feel so uncomfortable that i stopped taking it. maybe its time to go back on it. i wish there was guidlines on how to get over this type of thing, it is so incredibly hard!

[omega]

Originally Posted by joy and bella

I posted a while back about my mom dying and since have rarely been on YT. I find myself running from the things that I did while she was here so that I dont have to think of how much better it was when she was here. It had been a little over 7 months, and nothing is gettign better. i am so angry at everything, i have no motivation for school, and at times i just want to die. I would never take my own life, but i am sad to say that the thought crosses my mind. i feel that i can talk to my friends because none of them understand and i feel like a burden with all these issues. My family just says the same things over and over, but it seems like they are all moving on so much better than me. my mom was my everything!!! i cant explain it....i just wonder if maybe some people dont get over these things. maybe you love someone so much and have such a connection that life is never the same without them. will i ever be happpy again? i have moments of happiness, but if one little thing in my life changes i get seriously depressed. i cant handle anything going wrong...and i used to be so strong! i just dont know who i am anymore! when i lost her i lost myself!

i am sorry this is so long, i just didnt know where else to turn!

Really, seven months is not that long to mourn someone you love. As long as you don't let it get stuck in the depression... anger is a part of the grieving process, too, so is denial - all normal stuff on the way to acceptance. Don't be so hard on yourself.

It sounds like maybe you were closer to your mom than the others, so it WOULD hit you harder. The others may also be stuffing it and getting on with life, but it will come back and get them sometime.

Counseling or a loss support group can do wonders! Please just even look into these so at least you will know there are others feeling the same things as yourself.

take care

[chachi]

I know how you feel. My Mother passed 7 yrs ago when I was 35 and I had a nervous breakdown. It was not only hard losing My Mother especially because I am an only child but also some things My Aunts and Uncles did during the funeral time made it harder. I went to counciling and got on meds. It took a couple f years but it helped. My Mother was My family. My Dad and her were divorced and he never had anything to do with me. He died a couple of yrs ago also. It does get better even thoughh it seems like it wont.

[Patti]

I too lost my Mom 7 months ago and some days I just burst out in tears or other days I get so angry. I aso have to take care of my 88 year old dad who my Mom was taking care of with my help and some days I resent him as my Mom ran herself into the ground taking care of him, I know it's not right but that's how I feel some days. I am on an antidepressant which has helped, I personally don't know what I would have done had I not been on them when my Mom passed. I would try and find a supportive doctor and explore options ie meds, counseling, support groups. I joined a support group for the first time a few months ago to have aplace to talk about my birth son coming into my life 36 years after I gave him up and it helps so much to talk with people who know exactly what you are going thru and help you see that what you are feeling is normal. Hopefully like veryone says time does help heal our hearts.

[lidarose]

I lost my mom in June and still cry everytime I think about her. I was her only girl and we were so close, I miss her so much and am also having a hard time getting over it. This time of year is especially hard because it was her favorite. She was 68 and my dad is 88 and has alzheimers, she spent the last 4 years of her life taking care of him - and he is So mean, I know it's the disease, he was never like that before, but I really resent him and everytime I get around him all he does is put down my mother (by the way he isn't my biological dad, he adopted me when I was 3). I can't hardly stand to be around him - I feel like I kinda lost my dad too, but it breaks my heart when he talks bad about my mom, she was a wonderful person and put up with a lot from him and gave up a lot for him. I know he doesn't understand but I just can't help it.

[Diego]

Few years ago , I lost both of my parents in a car accident .

Thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time .

[LuvMySissy]

Joy - I feel for you. I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose your mom at such a young age. I remember your last post about your mom and it broke me heart.

I haven't lost my mom, but I did lose my aunt (my mom's youngest sister) not quite three years ago. She was not only my aunt, but my best friend and like a 2nd mother to me. I miss her every single day. I wish I could say time has made it better, but it has not. I smile more often when I think of her (multiple times every day) now, but my heart still aches.

The only thing that helps me is to surround myself with things that were meaningful to both of us. Both my furkids are in rememberance of her and their names have a purpose to that end.

I'm just a PM away if you ever want to talk more. Sending you hugs and lots of care!

[Lou]

Originally Posted by joy and bella

i dont know what that group is??

as far as talking to someone, i did. i have trouble opening up to people, and i also tend to keep things like this bottled up. i want to ignore it bc thinking of it hurts so badly! my therapist lives in fort lauderdale, where my mom used to live, and i currently live 4 hours away. i am moving home in mid decemeber so i will be able to start seeing her again soon. i was supposed to go on medication, but my boyfriend at the time (now ex) made me feel so uncomfortable that i stopped taking it. maybe its time to go back on it. i wish there was guidlines on how to get over this type of thing, it is so incredibly hard!

I'm wondering where your ex-boyfriend got his medical degree? Please do go back on the medication. It will help take the edge off the pain. Also, don't wait to talk to someone sweetie. There are grief support groups all over the place all you have to do is call. Funeral homes and hospitals both will be able to give you the information. You keep things bottled up which is a major contributor to your holding on to your pain differently from the rest of the family. You need to talk about it, to let it out. PM me if you need to talk. I care.

[Shadow]

Yes, Holding it in,makes it harder to deal with,you need to talk about it. I know in my situation when I tried to talk about it to my husband,daughter,they would change the subject so I quit talking about it.

Originally Posted by Lou

I'm wondering where your ex-boyfriend got his medical degree? Please do go back on the medication. It will help take the edge off the pain. Also, don't wait to talk to someone sweetie. There are grief support groups all over the place all you have to do is call. Funeral homes and hospitals both will be able to give you the information. You keep things bottled up which is a major contributor to your holding on to your pain differently from the rest of the family. You need to talk about it, to let it out. PM me if you need to talk. I care.