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Old 01-04-2013, 11:42 PM   #1
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Default Help Please....

Hey, everyone.
As some of you know I have not been on here for awhile. The reason? Brandi, my 3 lb Yorkie has died. Very hard to take as I had her for over 15 years. Since then I have had seven different dogs. I have returned or sold every single one of them. My life has changed so much since Brandi died. She was my whole world. I am trying to go on with my life but its so hard. Does anyone know of a good support website?
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Old 01-05-2013, 12:05 AM   #2
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I'm so sorry you lost little Brandi and it has affected you so terribly. I remember once before out of curiosity I just Googled pet/dog death support of something like that and found several websites that were specifically for hurting petlovers who had lost pets. I didn't stay long on any one of them as they were so heartbreaking and I can't recall if one seemed better but perhaps someone else here has used one. If not, perhaps you could just look in on a few of the top listed ones and see which one is a good fit.

You might need a face-to-face counselor or support group and they are widely available in most larger cities and towns. I think if you call SPCA or the Humane Society or vet in your area, they probably know of some if you can't find any on Google. I pray that your pain and hurt begin to subside before too long and soon all you have are wonderful memories. You now your little Brandi would want you to know the love and companionship of another dog but you need to find a way to get yourself to the point where you can allow yourself to accept one without feeling guilty or subconsciously rejecting it for not being Brandi. In time and with some loving guidance and support, maybe you can. God bless you and keep posting on YT when you can. You need connection with others.
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Old 01-05-2013, 05:17 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly View Post
I'm so sorry you lost little Brandi and it has affected you so terribly. I remember once before out of curiosity I just Googled pet/dog death support of something like that and found several websites that were specifically for hurting petlovers who had lost pets. I didn't stay long on any one of them as they were so heartbreaking and I can't recall if one seemed better but perhaps someone else here has used one. If not, perhaps you could just look in on a few of the top listed ones and see which one is a good fit.

You might need a face-to-face counselor or support group and they are widely available in most larger cities and towns. I think if you call SPCA or the Humane Society or vet in your area, they probably know of some if you can't find any on Google. I pray that your pain and hurt begin to subside before too long and soon all you have are wonderful memories. You now your little Brandi would want you to know the love and companionship of another dog but you need to find a way to get yourself to the point where you can allow yourself to accept one without feeling guilty or subconsciously rejecting it for not being Brandi. In time and with some loving guidance and support, maybe you can. God bless you and keep posting on YT when you can. You need connection with others.
Hello and welcome to YT. I am sorry you are going through so much pain. I know it is hard losing a little life like Brandi. I would find a councilor in your area to talk to. I agree I hope your pain subsides and your heart can open up to a new little dog who can use your love and companionship. Hugs to you
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Old 01-05-2013, 05:24 AM   #4
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I am so sorry for your loss of Brandi, maybe later you will find another baby to give your heart to, there are so many out there wanting and needing someone to love them..
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Old 01-05-2013, 05:29 AM   #5
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I'm so sorry about your little Brandi. I think there are others on this site that know exactly how you are feeling as we have been through a devasting loss of a dear little one. I hope you can find the healing you need in time. One day you will know if the time is right to add another little one to your family. It took me 7 years.
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:01 AM   #6
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I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my "heart" dog Lola just over a year ago and it was very devastating for me. I sunk into a pretty awful depression that scared me - Im sure many of you can relate as I know of very few yorkie owners who don't feel as if their dog is their child. Here are my suggestions:

1. There are a few websites that have support groups for pet loss. The one I used, was called Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. It has numerous pages of info plus a chat room w moderators trained in that subject.

2. If you like to read find a pet loss book. The one I found that was helpful to me was The Loss of a Pet: A guide to coping with the grieving process when a pet dies.

3. Talk to supportive friends and family, including this website. I am learning...yorkie lovers are a kind compassionate lot and when one about the death of a dog, many respond to offer words support.

4. Make a memorial spot/garden. It doesn't have to be big. Maybe a plant w a picture of your dog where you can sit and meditate for awhile. I am actually planting a garden this summer. I've had numerous pets/people in my life that have passed on. I've looked online for flowers that either have the same meaning as their name, the same color as their eyes or personality, the flower representing the month they were born/died. I plan on making the garden large enough to have a reading bench in it as two of my favorite things are reading and gardening.

5. Either check online or talk to your vet/local humane society for support groups in your area. Most bigger cities actually have support groups you can attend.

6. Talk to your doctor. Sometimes during bereavement, we just fall so low that we actually fall into major depression. If its been awhile and life has not gotten back to being meaningful or productive for you, that may be what has happened. There is medication for depression.

7. My last suggestion (sorry this post is so long!) Find a therapist. A lot of places have sliding fees so lack of insurance shouldn't be too much of an issue. A therapist can be wonderful for helping you through your grieving process.

Grieving for a pet is so hard. I think partly because everyone grieves differently, and that's ok. Some need to get a new pet right away, after a few months/years and some never. I got a new yorkie less than 3 weeks after Lola passed. Ruby will never take the place of Lola but she adds to my life own a different just as special way. Sometimes something will remind me of Lola and I will shed a tear, even now after a year. I find its less tears and more smiles over the memories...Hopefully that will happen to you too.
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:06 AM   #7
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Gentle Hugs to you!
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:46 AM   #8
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very sorry for your loss of brandi. my thoughts and prayers to you.
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Old 01-05-2013, 09:06 AM   #9
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The loss of a loved one, human or animal is very difficult for anyone. You are obviously suffering. You don't need a special kind of "counselor" etc., a therapist will be able to help you deal with this obviously tremendous loss to you. Please get to a counselor or therapist and bring some relief to yourself, its much too heavy a load to carry alone for you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Also, as you must know by now, Brandi is irreplaceable. Please for the sake of the pups, don't bring anymore pups in to your home until you have properly grieved the loss of your sweet Brandi and are able to accept and love a pup for their unique qualities. I'm afraid you are trying to replace Brandi but hon that's not going to happen...she was one of a kind and very special. There are many special pups out there, all different but none just like Brandi allow yourself the space and time until your grief is replaced by peaceful happy memories that Brandi left for you, only then will you be able to accept another pup! God Bless you and heal your broken heart.
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Old 01-05-2013, 10:44 AM   #10
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I was just checking back in on you to see how you are doing.
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Old 01-05-2013, 10:46 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubynrosie View Post
I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my "heart" dog Lola just over a year ago and it was very devastating for me. I sunk into a pretty awful depression that scared me - Im sure many of you can relate as I know of very few yorkie owners who don't feel as if their dog is their child. Here are my suggestions:

1. There are a few websites that have support groups for pet loss. The one I used, was called Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. It has numerous pages of info plus a chat room w moderators trained in that subject.

2. If you like to read find a pet loss book. The one I found that was helpful to me was The Loss of a Pet: A guide to coping with the grieving process when a pet dies.

3. Talk to supportive friends and family, including this website. I am learning...yorkie lovers are a kind compassionate lot and when one about the death of a dog, many respond to offer words support.

4. Make a memorial spot/garden. It doesn't have to be big. Maybe a plant w a picture of your dog where you can sit and meditate for awhile. I am actually planting a garden this summer. I've had numerous pets/people in my life that have passed on. I've looked online for flowers that either have the same meaning as their name, the same color as their eyes or personality, the flower representing the month they were born/died. I plan on making the garden large enough to have a reading bench in it as two of my favorite things are reading and gardening.

5. Either check online or talk to your vet/local humane society for support groups in your area. Most bigger cities actually have support groups you can attend.

6. Talk to your doctor. Sometimes during bereavement, we just fall so low that we actually fall into major depression. If its been awhile and life has not gotten back to being meaningful or productive for you, that may be what has happened. There is medication for depression.

7. My last suggestion (sorry this post is so long!) Find a therapist. A lot of places have sliding fees so lack of insurance shouldn't be too much of an issue. A therapist can be wonderful for helping you through your grieving process.

Grieving for a pet is so hard. I think partly because everyone grieves differently, and that's ok. Some need to get a new pet right away, after a few months/years and some never. I got a new yorkie less than 3 weeks after Lola passed. Ruby will never take the place of Lola but she adds to my life own a different just as special way. Sometimes something will remind me of Lola and I will shed a tear, even now after a year. I find its less tears and more smiles over the memories...Hopefully that will happen to you too.
Wonderful advice for someone hit so hard by the loss of a little one.
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Old 01-05-2013, 12:41 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly View Post
Wonderful advice for someone hit so hard by the loss of a little one.
....very good advice!
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:09 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richards6402 View Post
I'm so sorry about your little Brandi. I think there are others on this site that know exactly how you are feeling as we have been through a devasting loss of a dear little one. I hope you can find the healing you need in time. One day you will know if the time is right to add another little one to your family. It took me 7 years.
Thanks. But, it took you Seven years before you were ready for another dog? With my age I don't think I have that luxury.
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:13 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubynrosie View Post
I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my "heart" dog Lola just over a year ago and it was very devastating for me. I sunk into a pretty awful depression that scared me - Im sure many of you can relate as I know of very few yorkie owners who don't feel as if their dog is their child. Here are my suggestions:

1. There are a few websites that have support groups for pet loss. The one I used, was called Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. It has numerous pages of info plus a chat room w moderators trained in that subject.

2. If you like to read find a pet loss book. The one I found that was helpful to me was The Loss of a Pet: A guide to coping with the grieving process when a pet dies.

3. Talk to supportive friends and family, including this website. I am learning...yorkie lovers are a kind compassionate lot and when one about the death of a dog, many respond to offer words support.

4. Make a memorial spot/garden. It doesn't have to be big. Maybe a plant w a picture of your dog where you can sit and meditate for awhile. I am actually planting a garden this summer. I've had numerous pets/people in my life that have passed on. I've looked online for flowers that either have the same meaning as their name, the same color as their eyes or personality, the flower representing the month they were born/died. I plan on making the garden large enough to have a reading bench in it as two of my favorite things are reading and gardening.

5. Either check online or talk to your vet/local humane society for support groups in your area. Most bigger cities actually have support groups you can attend.

6. Talk to your doctor. Sometimes during bereavement, we just fall so low that we actually fall into major depression. If its been awhile and life has not gotten back to being meaningful or productive for you, that may be what has happened. There is medication for depression.

7. My last suggestion (sorry this post is so long!) Find a therapist. A lot of places have sliding fees so lack of insurance shouldn't be too much of an issue. A therapist can be wonderful for helping you through your grieving process.

Grieving for a pet is so hard. I think partly because everyone grieves differently, and that's ok. Some need to get a new pet right away, after a few months/years and some never. I got a new yorkie less than 3 weeks after Lola passed. Ruby will never take the place of Lola but she adds to my life own a different just as special way. Sometimes something will remind me of Lola and I will shed a tear, even now after a year. I find its less tears and more smiles over the memories...Hopefully that will happen to you too.
Thanks for all the great suggestions! I do have a gravestone for Brandi. She is buried in my backyard. I talk to her all the time.
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:18 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by lynzy420 View Post
The loss of a loved one, human or animal is very difficult for anyone. You are obviously suffering. You don't need a special kind of "counselor" etc., a therapist will be able to help you deal with this obviously tremendous loss to you. Please get to a counselor or therapist and bring some relief to yourself, its much too heavy a load to carry alone for you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Also, as you must know by now, Brandi is irreplaceable. Please for the sake of the pups, don't bring anymore pups in to your home until you have properly grieved the loss of your sweet Brandi and are able to accept and love a pup for their unique qualities. I'm afraid you are trying to replace Brandi but hon that's not going to happen...she was one of a kind and very special. There are many special pups out there, all different but none just like Brandi allow yourself the space and time until your grief is replaced by peaceful happy memories that Brandi left for you, only then will you be able to accept another pup! God Bless you and heal your broken heart.
You are right. I tried to put a bandaid on a major wound and it just didn't work out. My friends think I should get a different breed so it wouldn't always be compared to Brandi. But, I'm a Yorkie lover and have been since I was a child. Its just everything I see or do reminds me of my sweetie. And I use to hold her when I was on the computer. Now, its just me......
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