I Said Goodbye to Molly May Yesterday

[Judith]

Hello,
I've written before about my little 8 year old Yorkie, Molly,and how she has suffered with a Collapsing Trachea for the last year and a half. She had had a rough "other" life and was probably showing signs of Tracheal Collapse when I got her but we fell in love at first sight. She knew she'd found a good thing when I brought her home. Her first bad attack wasn't until last Christmas, when she started honking and choking. I rushed her to the Vet Hospital and they struggled to save her. I did everything in my power to help her. I got rid of candles, perfumes or anything she might be allergic to...I replaced her collar with a harness. I stopped lifting her, fearing it would bring on an attack. In the morning I'd move my office chair over to the bed and wheel her into the living room, so she could walk onto the sofa. But there were other attacks and seeing her tongue and gums turn blue was horrific. Her next bad attack was in April. They did X-rays this time and I could see the flattened trachea going into her lungs. Surgery was not an option for this type of collapse. The attacks started coming closer together and I lived in absolute fear that she might choke while eating, etc. She was put on a strict diet and our walks became more leisurely and only in the early morning before it got hot. It was then that I heard about a new surgical procedure in TN for this type of collapse. For a while I was euphoric, but the cost was $3000, not counting the airfare, accomodations, etc. I added up what I had already spent since Christmas and it was almost $2000. I'm on a fixed income so you can see, it just wasn't an option. My Vet said there were no guarantees, anyway, so I decided to just enjoy what time we had left. She was so spunky and such a fighter. I have loved her for three years and it seems like she was with me my whole lifetime. Her last attack was last Friday- This time she didn't bounce back. Mostly, she slept, although her appetite was still good. My Vet said it might be "time" but I couldn't face it. I spent most of the time holding her, which she loved. Sometimes she spent an hour just licking my face. I decided I loved her too much to let her suffer. The next day I took her to Steak-n-Shake and she had a cheeseburger and french fries! Suddenly she got her spark back and even bounced around a while, going on two walks in one day. I had a wonderful lady Vet come to my home. My family was there and I held Molly in my arms. To tell you the truth, Molly loved being the center of attention. She was at home where she belonged. We all petted her and I whispered in her ear how much I loved her. No more scarey Vet Hospitals, no more pain and fear. She was so peaceful and sweet.
Honestly, my guilt is gone. The problem now is getting used to living without her. My God, I miss her sleeping in my bed, and following me from room to room. There is a hole in my heart but I am thankful that I had her in my life. Everyone in my little neighborhood loved her- She was so much fun and such a good girl. My apartment is quiet now and I can't really afford another dog, which is OK, because there will never be another Molly May. Her ashes will be buried with me and we'll be together for eternity.
Judi Goodwin

[txshopper73]

OMG! That brought tears to my eyes! I am so sorry that you are without her now, but she's in a better place. Godspeed, Molly!

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

[simonandhallie]

Molly had a sweet life with you and you were lucky to find each other. Rest In Peace little Molly.

[RoxyJosMom]

Judi,
That is such a touching story I'm am so sorry for you loss. Molly was blessed to have such a loving, caring Mommy. Have you checked the shelters. There are so many babies that need homes. Whatever you decide, you gave Molly the best life she could have, and she will be watching over you now. Fly with the angels sweet Molly. Prayers and hugs to you, Judi.

[ChestersMom]

I certainly share in your pain; it's never easy, but you did the right thing. Don't give up hope of finding another love as you never know what God has in store for you. If you lived closer, I'd give you one of my pups. Maybe someone out there knows of another little precious looking for a forever home. May you be comforted in knowing you gave her the best three years of her life. She'll be waiting for you, with lots more kisses.

[chattiesmom]

I am so sorry. I know you are hurting. Sending a healing hug your way :ghug"

[red98vett]

Oh I am so sorry ....that was a beautiful tribite to her and such a young age to lose her. She sounds very special and is painfree now. Maybe one day you may have the chance to have another in your life... but for now just cherish your angel & her memory.....it will get easier... but never go away ...but she wouldn't want you to stay sad for too long.

You have my sincere condolences...hugs to you.

[red98vett]

Judith...I had this on my computer and don't want to make you cry more...but I think it's just beautiful.......For your Molly May....May she Rest in Peace


"IF IT SHOULD BE"

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don't let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me until the end,
I know in time that you will see,
The kindness that you did for me,
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve, it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do,
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.


Author: "unknown"

[Dragonfly]

I don't know what to say, It broke my heart to read your post I could read the pain you are going thru, the love you had for Molly Mae. I'm so truly sorry for your loss, MAY GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!!

[chachi]

I am so sorry for your loss

[yorkieusa]

Oh, Judi, my heart goes out to you. I know how sad home can be without the pitter-patter of those little paws. I'm so very sorry...

[baby03]

Judith I am so very sorry for your loss. I had to put down a cat that had lived with us for more than 13 years. It truly hurts. No words can ease your pain. Please accept my deepest sympathy!!

[Sugar's Mom]

I am so sorry for your loss. Reading this brought tears to my eyes also.

[Julz]

Oh, what a lucky girl Molly May was. I wish EVERY SINGLE dog out there, regardless of breed, was loved as much as she was. I pray each new day finds your heart a little happier remembering all the good times and loving kisses from Molly.

[yougetthesmiles]

Ohhh sweetie, what a precious baby you had, I'm so deeply sorry for this pain in your heart and soul right now, I know it's a feeling that is hard to deal with and you probably think it will never go away, I know this pain all to well. Please know Molly is still with you in your heart and she will forever watch over you.

I know you dont want to think of a new baby right now, but maybe in time you will consider it. Lillie has been a blessing to me, I honestly think if I would not have got her, I would driven myself in sane. I know a new baby will NEVER replace Molly, but it will help the healing and maybe even make you smile again. As much as I still love Kloey and think of her all the time and still cry for her, I know she is in a better place and god has some of the most precious lap dogs in this world. I hope you find comfort here, we all are here for you and please dont ever hesitate to PM me, I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.
Bless you sweetie! ((((((HUGS))))))