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12-08-2013, 07:04 PM | #1 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| My little Jasper is gone and I miss him so much I don't know what to do with myself. It has been 4 days and I am getting worse. I get panicky feelings and then cry from the depths of my soul. I miss everything about him. I joined this forum today because I know there are people here who understand. I have many friends and loved ones who care, I even got flowers from my son, but I can't keep talking about it to them so I came to you all. Jasper must have fallen down the stairs when he went to go potty because when I called him, he didn't come to the door. I found him on the bottom deck and brought him upstairs and found he was holding his back leg up. I took him to the vet and his hip was out of the socket so at about 6:30 they put him under to put the hip back in the socket and he died on the table. He was only 1 1/2 years old, weighed just over 4 lbs and he was my snuggler. I can't believe he is gone, Jasper was our little guy and such a sweetheart. Dale and I are broken hearted and already miss him so much. I couldn't even buy bananas today because he loved them and always wanted little bites. Everything I do, always had an expectation of something wonderful that Jasper would do, and I always feel what is missing. He has left such a big hole in my life. I always thought I was taking care of him but it turns out, he took care of me just as much. I will never forget that little guy. I have had many people say or think that I should sue the vet for bringing in my Jasper for a hurt leg and having to leave without him because he died for what seemed l...ike a simple procedure. Yes, It is possible that he was over anesthetized as it is apparently really tricky anesthetizing such a small dog. I remember the vet coming in the room and saying "I lost him on the table (with a question mark in her tone). I could see the shock on her face. "This shouldn't of happened, I don't know why this happened. I tried to revive him for 15 minutes and he was just gone so fast. I am sooooo sorry." and her eyes were filled with tears. At first I was shocked and didn't believe it. Then I know my Lord showed me her heart and that she was devasted to have to tell me what just happened and she would of given anything to give him back to me. My heart went out to her in that moment and I knew *blame* was useless, and mean, and served no purpose. She offered to do an autopsy, but I said I didn't need one because it wouldn't change anything. Sometimes it doesn't help to get the "why" when missing him was all that mattered. She graciously told me that I didn't owe the vet anything and offered to cremate him and give me the urn for his ashes because she saw how I felt. The truth is, she could of still charged me because they used their facility, there drugs, their time and vets and hospitals do this all the time, even though the outcome isn't what you expect. Showing Christ's love and forgiveness is first in my life and nothing in me wanted her (the vet) to feel like she didn't do her best and I know her heart was in the right place. Isn't that all that really matters? We should always look at the heart first. I tried to load pictures of him but the site says they are too many KB and I don't know how to fix that. |
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12-09-2013, 05:25 AM | #2 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: North Ridgeville, Oh. US
Posts: 1,396
| I am so very sorry for your loss. Come here and talk about your feelings and Jasper as much as you need. These people are wonderful. Praying for God to ease your heart!
__________________ Kathy & Bella |
12-09-2013, 06:28 AM | #3 |
♥Trained by my pups♥ Donating YT 500 Club Member | I am so very sorry for your loss It does leave a awful void in our hearts. I agree with you on how your handled the vet. It does sound like she really was sorry. But it's so hard when they are taken from us so fast Sending hugs and prayers Rip little one
__________________ loving life with my furry friends |
12-09-2013, 07:44 AM | #4 |
Cedric♥Lola♥Keylo Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Gilford, NH, USA
Posts: 9,209
| I am so very sorry for your and your dh's loss. Such a sad way to lose your baby....sending many prayers to you both at this difficult time. hugs.
__________________ Cedric N Lola N Keylo RIP Punkee Princess |
12-09-2013, 07:58 AM | #5 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Hibbing Minnesota
Posts: 1,106
| I am sorry for your loss.Susan |
12-09-2013, 07:58 AM | #6 |
♥Love My Puppies!♥ Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: US
Posts: 5,786
| I am so sorry about little Jasper. I can feel your broken heart in your words. You are a very kind and dear person not to blame the vet. I have tears in my eyes right now for her pain and sorrow as well as yours. Sometimes things happen that we don't understand. This is one of those things. I think Jasper was in your life for a reason, no matter how short that time was. Let your faith in the Lord be a comfort to you and know that little Jasper is not suffering now and you will see him again. I would have done everything exactly like you did. I would not have gotten an autopsy either but I would think that he may have had some internal injuries from his fall that may have taken his life. Rest in peace sweet little Jasper. God has a new little Yorkie angel in heaven with him and He will take good care of him for you until you see him again. Hugs and prayers to you.
__________________ RIP My Sweet Darling Angel Daisy 08/09/03 - 10/02/15, RIP My Sweet Baby Boy Teddy Bear 02/01/04 - 02/11/16 Photos HERE |
12-09-2013, 08:13 AM | #7 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thank you all for your replies. It just helps to hear from people who understand. I am trying to keep busy but everywhere I turn and everything I do, some part of it reminds me that something is missing. I gotta tell you. I have had many dogs in my life, but that little yorkie was the most like having another child. lol I raised 6 and I do have other dogs, but he was my little shadow. I couldn't sit down without him crawling in my lap and snuggling in. I just love the way they wrap themselves around you with their neck. They are amazing and I know I will get another one. I just want to wait and mourn Jasper because I don' want to try to replace him. That's not fair to the next pup to get it with such expectations. I am looking forward to loving the next one though. For now, I will focus on my other doggies. I was able to load pictures in an album but I don't know how to get them to this thread. I just hope my little panic attacks stop happening. I think I get them because every time the vets brought him back to me, in between procedures, he would lay on my chest and wrap his neck around mine and kiss me the whole time like he was so glad he was back in my arms. Then I panic because I feel like I did something wrong and didn't protect him. He should still be here. OMG He should still be here. |
12-09-2013, 10:09 AM | #8 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: italy
Posts: 263
| One of the worst losses we can face is that of a loving puppy and their dying is such a mystery to us. I lost a little one under a car and will never forget her loving ways. I'm so glad the Lord has given you a gracious and forgiving heart toward the vet. It will help the healing. You are in my thoughts and prayers. |
12-09-2013, 10:39 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 100K Club Member & Top YorkieTalk Poster! Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western KY
Posts: 108,935
| I am so sorry for your loss of Jasper, I truly can feel your hurt and the shock of it all, I lost my beautiful little Abby the very same way a few years back. you have so much love to give, i'm sure you will find another baby in time...never to replace him but to share the love you had for him.. RIP sweet baby
__________________ Betty & Micah my love + Yogi |
12-09-2013, 11:20 AM | #10 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thank you so much Kathy |
12-09-2013, 11:21 AM | #11 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thanks for your understanding and reply |
12-09-2013, 11:22 AM | #12 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thanks so much for your prayers and reply. I really appreciate it. |
12-09-2013, 11:23 AM | #13 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thank you Susan. |
12-09-2013, 11:30 AM | #14 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| Thank you for your kind words. Yes, he may of had other injuries that weren't seen, it's hard to say. It's so weird because I keep thinking, if only I let him out earlier, or later, or he had the surgery earlier in the day. Any little change may have changed the outcome. But I know in my head, that doesn't really matter. He had to go potty and something happened outside. I didn't see it I just knew he wasn't coming to the door. Anyways, I just miss him and it helps to know that there are other people out there that understand. He was my first Yorkie and I had no idea that dogs could be so different. He was unique and I am finding out that Yorkies all seem to have the same loving tendencies and connection to their owner. I look forward to getting another one, I just want to make sure it is healthier and doesn't have weak hips. He often yelped from his (leg) and limped occasionally, I now know it was probably in his hip the whole time. |
12-09-2013, 11:32 AM | #15 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: harvard
Posts: 15
| OH I am so sorry that happened to you. So hard to go through. Thank you for understanding what I am going through then. I look forward to the day when I am not walking in a fog and can think of him with a smile instead of heartbreak. |
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