Missing my Tucker... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

290harlow · 03-13-2009, 08:55 PM

I am missing my little Tucker so badly I can't explain it. It's been a week ago today that we had to make the decision to let him go & my heart aches as badly today as it did then. I never imagined 4 lbs. of personality could bring so much life to a home. I remember thinking people were crazy when that talked about loving their animals like they loved their children but I see now that I am just one of the "crazy" ones. I am writing this in hopes that it will help somewhat to ease the pain and guilt I have in my heart right now...no one may read this but at least I can get it out...

I was never a person who really cared for animals. I never had pets growing up so I guess I never developed a passion for them. When my girls wanted a pet about six years ago I gave in to the family's wishes and we got a poodle-that didn't work out to well. After a not so nice personality turned to biting we had to give her to a new family who was better equipped at handling such a pet. Never again was I going to allow an animal in my home. About a year later my oldest daughter begged me to "just look" at a yorkie that her friend had just gotten...after more pleading I agreed to give pet ownership one more try. Long story short-I (not my children) picked Tucker out of a litter of five when he was six hours old and as they said in the movie...."you had me from hello."

We could not have asked for a better animal (and believe it or not I find it hard to even call him that). He was perfect...his personality from the beginning was so sweet. He was loved by the whole family but I often joked that he was "my little buddy." Being a stay at home mom, we spent the most time together. Our routines meshed together. He knew mine and I knew his. He loved people to fuss over him and believe me, everywhere we went he got fussed over. I'm guessing that was due to the fact that he was so tiny and he was a beautiful yorkie.

Around Thanksgiving he started having trouble breathing. After rushing him to the vet he was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. The fluid build up around the heart was causing the distress. He was placed on some medication and we waited for blood test results. The results showed he had what in simple terms was called a liver shunt. His body was basically poisoning itself because the blood wasn't being filtered through the liver properly. We were told at this point that it was a wait and see game...

The wait was horrible but we tried to enjoy every second with him. If possible we spoiled him more thatn he already was. One week ago today we rushed him to the vet only to find out he was in the last stages of kidney and liver failure. His body had basically consumed itself trying to survive and it was only a matter of days if not hours that he would have been able to go on. It was a matter of giving him the dignity he deserved to let the vet give him the relief and peace from the pain that I could not give him.

We brought him home wrapped in the same yellow blanket that awful night that he was wrapped in the day we picked him up to start his life with us. Hind sight is 20/20 and the "what ifs" are killing me. I never realized how intertwined our lives were with his. I wish I could just cuddle with him one more time...I wish I could tell him I'm sorry for all the things his little body had to go through these last months...I wish I could turn around and see his "happy" eyes calling for me to play with him...I wish, I wish, I wish!

I believe there's a heaven...and if our beloved pets are allowed, I know my Tucker is running in beautiful green grass believing that he is as big as his personality was.

I love you Tucker...and I hope we always did what was best for you. Rest peacefully little buddy.

Doodlebug · 03-13-2009, 09:11 PM

I am in tears after reading this. I am so sorry you lost your little love. I am sure he knew how much you loved him and still does. I know that our little ones are waiting for us in heaven. They are God's little ones too and I think He wants them back when they leave us. Again, I am so sorry. I can feel your pain in your post. Big HUGS to you. ~ Jean

AbbysMom08 · 03-13-2009, 09:21 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am in tears from reading your post as I know full well the pain you are feeling. I lost my precious little Kayla last July 15th and it feels like yesterday. She too died of liver failure. I loved her so much. She was so tiny and the light of my life. She really tugged at my heart strings. I miss her so very much even to this day.
Tucker was very lucky to have you for his mommy.
I will keep you in my prayers and please let me know if I can do anything.
PM me if you just feel like "talking".
Please take care.

chickwit · 03-13-2009, 09:40 PM

My heart aches for you

may little Tucker rest in peace

I am so sorry for your loss

Lisa and Pic · 03-14-2009, 01:53 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss of Tucker. There are many of us on YT that understand your pain and grief that you expressed so beautifully. I have tears in my eyes reading Tucker's story. RIP, sweet angel.

Also, wanted to welcome you here to YorkieTalk.....

MeAndMyOlivia · 03-14-2009, 06:32 AM

I am so sorry for your loss - I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like you have so many precious memories and those are what will carry you through this difficult time. Just like your story, I was never the one that wanted a pet. The kids had a couple of dogs and cats growing up, but it wasn't until my youngest got married that I decided it was time for ME to have one! I enjoyed 4 wonderful years with my adopted Toby, but sadly I lost him on a beautiful fall day last September. Just last night I was looking at pictures with my granddaughter and little Toby-Toby was in some of them...made me so sad and yet I had to smile thinking of his quirky ways and his undying loyalty and love for me. Now I have Olivia, not a replacement for Toby but she is a bundle of joy as well. I know the pain and grief you are feeling...allow yourself time for that. The day will come when thinking of Tucker will bring a smile to your face, instead of tears.

4doggiemama · 03-14-2009, 09:12 AM

I, too, have tears in my eyes as I was reading your post. Through your words I can tell how much you adored you little Tucker. If you spend some time here on YT, you will find many Yorkie parents who are as in love with their babies as what you were with Tucker. Our babies have made each of us a much better person. They teach us sooo much. May you, in time, find comfort in the memories you made together with Tucker. Hugs, Joanne

chestermama · 03-14-2009, 04:05 PM

Im so sorry for your loss, they do leave pawprints on your heart

RIPMyLittleCase · 03-14-2009, 04:19 PM

My heart goes out to you. I love the way you found to express it when you said you wanted to give him his dignity to give him peace. There is no truer a statement. The decision is very hard to make because we want them with us as long as possible. But we have to do right by our babies not for ourselves. It is natural to feel guilty when we make that decision but we shouldn't. They are in a better place now. We had to make that decision in January and still miss our little girl every day. My husband says she did not have an enlarged heart. She had a body that was too small for all the love she had in heart. Try to remember all the wonderful times you had and cherish them forever. Tucker loves you still.

Hugs to you.

290harlow · 03-15-2009, 09:51 AM

Thanks to everyone who has offered their sympathy and understanding. It has helped knowing that others have been through the sorrow & guilt and came out on the other side the better for it. It just takes time I guess.

I find myself still looking for Tucker several times throughout the day. And I think I miss most the times when he just curled up next to me during the quite parts of the evening. Old habits are hard to break! I just miss the little guy so bad still.

Thanks again for the kind words for my family & Tucker.

mollie jade · 03-15-2009, 10:29 AM

I am so sorry for your loss .

saphire · 03-15-2009, 02:48 PM

I am sorry for you loss.
RIP little Tucker.

TLC · 03-17-2009, 08:59 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. Your baby was well loved.
He is now pain free and playing with all the other babies

Liver Shunt is so common in the Yorkie breed (actually there are lots and lots of LS babies here on Yorkietalk). With surgery to close the shunt, and then a proper low protein diet and supplements, they can live a *somewhat* normal life. But there are some that are just more severe cases and it sounds like Tucker got too sick too quickly....Again, I am so sorry and I do hope that your pain and sadness with heal over time. You are a wonderful Momma and you and Tucker were meant to be a family (even if it was only for a short time - he loves you dearly

)

-Nicole

PANAMA69 · 03-17-2009, 10:34 PM

So very sorry for your loss

Mom to Hot Rod · 03-17-2009, 10:47 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. RIP Tucker. He had a wonderful life with you and your family.

03-13-2009, 08:55 PM	#1
290harlow YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: louisville, ky, usa Posts: 2	Missing my Tucker... I am missing my little Tucker so badly I can't explain it. It's been a week ago today that we had to make the decision to let him go & my heart aches as badly today as it did then. I never imagined 4 lbs. of personality could bring so much life to a home. I remember thinking people were crazy when that talked about loving their animals like they loved their children but I see now that I am just one of the "crazy" ones. I am writing this in hopes that it will help somewhat to ease the pain and guilt I have in my heart right now...no one may read this but at least I can get it out... I was never a person who really cared for animals. I never had pets growing up so I guess I never developed a passion for them. When my girls wanted a pet about six years ago I gave in to the family's wishes and we got a poodle-that didn't work out to well. After a not so nice personality turned to biting we had to give her to a new family who was better equipped at handling such a pet. Never again was I going to allow an animal in my home. About a year later my oldest daughter begged me to "just look" at a yorkie that her friend had just gotten...after more pleading I agreed to give pet ownership one more try. Long story short-I (not my children) picked Tucker out of a litter of five when he was six hours old and as they said in the movie...."you had me from hello." We could not have asked for a better animal (and believe it or not I find it hard to even call him that). He was perfect...his personality from the beginning was so sweet. He was loved by the whole family but I often joked that he was "my little buddy." Being a stay at home mom, we spent the most time together. Our routines meshed together. He knew mine and I knew his. He loved people to fuss over him and believe me, everywhere we went he got fussed over. I'm guessing that was due to the fact that he was so tiny and he was a beautiful yorkie. Around Thanksgiving he started having trouble breathing. After rushing him to the vet he was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. The fluid build up around the heart was causing the distress. He was placed on some medication and we waited for blood test results. The results showed he had what in simple terms was called a liver shunt. His body was basically poisoning itself because the blood wasn't being filtered through the liver properly. We were told at this point that it was a wait and see game... The wait was horrible but we tried to enjoy every second with him. If possible we spoiled him more thatn he already was. One week ago today we rushed him to the vet only to find out he was in the last stages of kidney and liver failure. His body had basically consumed itself trying to survive and it was only a matter of days if not hours that he would have been able to go on. It was a matter of giving him the dignity he deserved to let the vet give him the relief and peace from the pain that I could not give him. We brought him home wrapped in the same yellow blanket that awful night that he was wrapped in the day we picked him up to start his life with us. Hind sight is 20/20 and the "what ifs" are killing me. I never realized how intertwined our lives were with his. I wish I could just cuddle with him one more time...I wish I could tell him I'm sorry for all the things his little body had to go through these last months...I wish I could turn around and see his "happy" eyes calling for me to play with him...I wish, I wish, I wish! I believe there's a heaven...and if our beloved pets are allowed, I know my Tucker is running in beautiful green grass believing that he is as big as his personality was. I love you Tucker...and I hope we always did what was best for you. Rest peacefully little buddy.

03-13-2009, 09:11 PM	#2
Doodlebug ♥Love My Puppies!♥ Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: US Posts: 5,786	I am in tears after reading this. I am so sorry you lost your little love. I am sure he knew how much you loved him and still does. I know that our little ones are waiting for us in heaven. They are God's little ones too and I think He wants them back when they leave us. Again, I am so sorry. I can feel your pain in your post. Big HUGS to you. ~ Jean __________________ RIP My Sweet Darling Angel Daisy 08/09/03 - 10/02/15, RIP My Sweet Baby Boy Teddy Bear 02/01/04 - 02/11/16 Photos HERE

03-13-2009, 09:40 PM	#4
chickwit YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Airdrie,Alberta,Canada Posts: 358	My heart aches for youmay little Tucker rest in peace I am so sorry for your loss __________________ Linda and Harley Regret makes you old, and bitterness poisons the people around you. Last edited by chickwit; 03-13-2009 at 09:41 PM.

03-14-2009, 01:53 AM	#5
Lisa and Pic ♥ Piccolo & Vivi ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 14,311	I am so very sorry for your loss of Tucker. There are many of us on YT that understand your pain and grief that you expressed so beautifully. I have tears in my eyes reading Tucker's story. RIP, sweet angel. Also, wanted to welcome you here to YorkieTalk..... __________________ Lisa, Dixie, and Jazzy (RIP Piccolo and Vivi)

03-14-2009, 06:32 AM	#6
MeAndMyOlivia YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Southern Indiana Posts: 414	I am so sorry for your loss - I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like you have so many precious memories and those are what will carry you through this difficult time. Just like your story, I was never the one that wanted a pet. The kids had a couple of dogs and cats growing up, but it wasn't until my youngest got married that I decided it was time for ME to have one! I enjoyed 4 wonderful years with my adopted Toby, but sadly I lost him on a beautiful fall day last September. Just last night I was looking at pictures with my granddaughter and little Toby-Toby was in some of them...made me so sad and yet I had to smile thinking of his quirky ways and his undying loyalty and love for me. Now I have Olivia, not a replacement for Toby but she is a bundle of joy as well. I know the pain and grief you are feeling...allow yourself time for that. The day will come when thinking of Tucker will bring a smile to your face, instead of tears. __________________ Terri and Olivia (R.I.P. my sweet little girl)

03-13-2009, 09:21 PM	#3
AbbysMom08 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 2,268	I am so very sorry for your loss. I am in tears from reading your post as I know full well the pain you are feeling. I lost my precious little Kayla last July 15th and it feels like yesterday. She too died of liver failure. I loved her so much. She was so tiny and the light of my life. She really tugged at my heart strings. I miss her so very much even to this day. Tucker was very lucky to have you for his mommy. I will keep you in my prayers and please let me know if I can do anything. PM me if you just feel like "talking". Please take care.

03-14-2009, 09:12 AM	#7
4doggiemama Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: KS Posts: 3,289	I, too, have tears in my eyes as I was reading your post. Through your words I can tell how much you adored you little Tucker. If you spend some time here on YT, you will find many Yorkie parents who are as in love with their babies as what you were with Tucker. Our babies have made each of us a much better person. They teach us sooo much. May you, in time, find comfort in the memories you made together with Tucker. Hugs, Joanne __________________ Joanne Eli ChipperEva Snowboy Rosie(R.I.P. 1996-July 29, 2013) Cocoa(R.I.P 1998-April 26, 2012):

03-14-2009, 04:05 PM	#8
chestermama YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: washington Posts: 3,383 Blog Entries: 1	Im so sorry for your loss, they do leave pawprints on your heart

03-14-2009, 04:19 PM	#9
RIPMyLittleCase Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Bolingbrook,IL,USA Posts: 264	My heart goes out to you. I love the way you found to express it when you said you wanted to give him his dignity to give him peace. There is no truer a statement. The decision is very hard to make because we want them with us as long as possible. But we have to do right by our babies not for ourselves. It is natural to feel guilty when we make that decision but we shouldn't. They are in a better place now. We had to make that decision in January and still miss our little girl every day. My husband says she did not have an enlarged heart. She had a body that was too small for all the love she had in heart. Try to remember all the wonderful times you had and cherish them forever. Tucker loves you still. Hugs to you. __________________ Jenny , Teddy the YorkiePoo, Peanut the Dacshsie & Clara Belle the Yorkie (our newest family member) RIP Sweet Casey

03-15-2009, 09:51 AM	#10
290harlow YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: louisville, ky, usa Posts: 2	Thanks to everyone who has offered their sympathy and understanding. It has helped knowing that others have been through the sorrow & guilt and came out on the other side the better for it. It just takes time I guess. I find myself still looking for Tucker several times throughout the day. And I think I miss most the times when he just curled up next to me during the quite parts of the evening. Old habits are hard to break! I just miss the little guy so bad still. Thanks again for the kind words for my family & Tucker.

03-15-2009, 10:29 AM	#11
mollie jade YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 712	I am so sorry for your loss .

03-15-2009, 02:48 PM	#12
saphire Lil' CoCo, Lotta Coffee. Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: South Africa Posts: 3,115	I am sorry for you loss. RIP little Tucker. __________________ Sheilagh CoffeeAbigail-Ceana. CoCoMurfee & Winston

03-17-2009, 08:59 AM	#13
TLC Slave to My Rug-Rats Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Long Island Posts: 7,247	I am so sorry for your loss. Your baby was well loved. He is now pain free and playing with all the other babies Liver Shunt is so common in the Yorkie breed (actually there are lots and lots of LS babies here on Yorkietalk). With surgery to close the shunt, and then a proper low protein diet and supplements, they can live a somewhat normal life. But there are some that are just more severe cases and it sounds like Tucker got too sick too quickly....Again, I am so sorry and I do hope that your pain and sadness with heal over time. You are a wonderful Momma and you and Tucker were meant to be a family (even if it was only for a short time - he loves you dearly ) -Nicole __________________ Adopt Donate Foster www.yorkie911rescue.com Last edited by TLC; 03-17-2009 at 09:00 AM.

03-17-2009, 10:34 PM	#14
PANAMA69 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: ~~YorkieWorld~~ Posts: 8,428	So very sorry for your loss __________________

03-17-2009, 10:47 PM	#15
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	I am so very sorry for your loss. RIP Tucker. He had a wonderful life with you and your family. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10