venting

[Potter]

Just a week ago, I can't keep my mouth shut and said something to a girlfriend I have known since I was 13 years old and I can say we are no longer in contact. What happened was one of my guy friend sent out an email with a video of a dog masturbating himself (I am serious) and then we were talking about it..they asked if I have seen any dogs do that before (I have a few male dogs before) and I said never and then my this girlfriend went on to say that Siu Pao will not need it because he has me..she was trying to imply I masturbate for my dog or I have sex with my dog hence he doesn't need it. She thought it is funny but I feel it is being more insulting than funny, some people just don't know how to make good jokes and insult other people so that they could have a laugh. This coming from a 27 year old who has been sleeping with someone else's guy behind her own boyfriend's back and thinks that it is okay to do so. Even warned me so many times to not tell her bf because he is my friend also...I don't like minding other people's business and will never tell but come to think of it now, I have no regret of what happened of what I have said and done. This friend together with another girlfriend loves to team up and talked behind my back and criticizing a friend behind their back is not much contribution to a heathy friendship. This girl even critize the girl she teams up with in front of me but I didn't get involved, kept quiet and stood my ground. I really do not know why I have put up with it for so long that I feel stupid thinking about it. Maybe because I have always thought that we grew up together and I try to keep the friendship. We are no longer in high school and I refused to go back to the way of the high school where people team up and bully others. I feel that in the past year I have seen and grown so much that I no longer want to participate in whatever they love to do, bringing others down and criticizing others. As much as I would like to have and keep as many friends as I could, I wouldn't mind losing those that likes to bring others down if you get what I mean. The world is difficult enough on its own..there is no need to make someone else'e life tougher. I think I have had enough of people insulting, criticizing and judging me for loving my furbaby and its time to weed out a few who do not how to respect people who do. It does hurt to lose a friend that you have known for so long but I strongly believe it will be better for the long run. I have also make a few new girl friends who are dog lovers and we will be meeting up soon when I get home. I do hope tomorrow will be a better day.

I just need to vent...sorry for being long..

[red98vett]

oh wow. I know if it were me I'd just be honest and tell her that comment really bothers me and leave it at that....some friends are worth keeping though she sounds like she has alot of reasons to not trust her much - especially if you're friends with the guy she's cheating on - that puts you in a tight spot.

I hope you work it out...sounds like a long friendship ....but it also sounds like one of you grew up the other didn't....maybe she really doesn't know she hurt you ?

I hope tommorrow is a better day for you too....

[Potter]

I wish I could keep the friendship too but it wouldn't work one way and trust is no longer there because I know she has been talking behind me for so long. I did tell her I was hurt by what she said. She responded by saying I am acting like a prude so that was where I had enough. I was the one who introduced her to her current boyfriend and he is a nice guy. If this guy finds out anything, I will be held responsible for not telling him (he is my husband's buddy too. Hubby will hold me responsible too if he finds out ). I know I have changed so much over the year after getting married, coming to a new country and being independant, away from my family and all. I will only continue to change when I work, etc and I am not sure of how to continue with this friendship. There isn't even any "how are you?", "when will you be back?"..even if I write email to them telling them I will be back and I want to see them, there is no reply. I really don't think there is anything left in the friendship to pursue...I don't know

[red98vett]

I'm sorry and it sounds like you may be right...I didn't realize when I read your 1st post that she's being that disrespectful of you. You don't need it is right, and you WILL make new friends....you made some big adjustments and you should be proud of yourself - and your real friends would also be proud of you too.

[Potter]

Originally Posted by red98vett

I'm sorry and it sounds like you may be right...I didn't realize when I read your 1st post that she's being that disrespectful of you. You don't need it is right, and you WILL make new friends....you made some big adjustments and you should be proud of yourself - and your real friends would also be proud of you too.

Thanks Vil..you always know what to say to make others feel better... I guess our friendship has been going sour over a period of time..its only a matter of when this will happen. She has been blaming me for introducing her current bf to her because he is from canada and their long distance relationship hasn't been easy but I did not introduce them and push them to be bf-gf. We came out as a group and their relationship fluorished on its own and she made her own choice and decisions. I don't think I deserved to be blamed when the going gets hard. Where is the thank you when the goings are sweet? I have lived through a long distance relationship too and I have been very loyal to my then bf, now hubby so I know what it feels like but blaming your friend is not the way to go. I did tell her that but whether it registers in her mind or not..I don't know.

[red98vett]

She's blaming you for a relationship ?? That's pretty lame - if she made the decision to see or not see anyone it would have no bearing on your introduction - that's just nuts !!

Just from your other posts I know you've come a long way.....you'll be ok girl - what she's doing to your friendship isn't the way true friends would be and it sounds like it'll be her loss in the long run....one day maybe she'll wake up...or have someone treat her the same as she's treated you.

Chin up !!! you have a good marriage and Siu Pao and a whole life ahead of you - no one needs someone dragging them down

[Peters]

i don't really put up with much of anything from people it judt gets old and someone who shows absolutely no respect for anyone including a freind or a bf thats obviuosly clueless isn't someone i would like to associate myself with at all ! the only person that can look out for you and really care about you is you! seems that "friend" is being really immature and flat out rude cutt ties..her bf weill figure out what's happening or maybe he already knows and is doing the same thing/ either way don't let others who can't have common decency to have manners and know what to say and not say bring you down at all!

[mizzwanned]

Her comment was really immature and she's 27 yrs old??? She shouldn't say things like that....I would get mad if one of my friends said something to me like that.

[Potter]

That is the reason why I am so mad ...I guess I am happier being a prude than pretending that her rude jokes are funny or what she is doing is totally okay!