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02-18-2007, 12:06 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,729
| Dear Dogs and Cats: To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children . Judy |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-18-2007, 06:40 PM | #2 |
I Love My Monkeys! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Falling Waters, WV
Posts: 11,166
| I've seen this before and laugh my head off everytime I read it |
02-18-2007, 06:43 PM | #3 |
Luv My Butterflies Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The Big Easy
Posts: 2,083
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02-18-2007, 07:07 PM | #4 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: McLean , VA
Posts: 458
| this it the funniest thin I ever read !!!
__________________ NIKITA & LILO If my little girl is a PRINCESS, does it make me a QUEEN? |
02-18-2007, 07:12 PM | #5 |
Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 11,257
| oh that is TOO good.. especailly the bathroom part.. layla ALWAYS thinks she has to come too... and the part where if they have babies you can sell their children.. oh that's good! thanks for the laugh! |
02-18-2007, 07:18 PM | #6 |
Lovin' My Mika-Monster Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,462
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__________________ Mika & Ollie |
02-19-2007, 03:09 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc.
Posts: 9,031
| I actually have the "notice to visitors" printed under a picture of Toto ... in a nice frame prominently placed for visitors to see upon entering our home!! Those who know us well also know that we mean it!!
__________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein |
02-19-2007, 03:18 AM | #8 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NEW HAMPSHIRE
Posts: 426
| My youngest daughter sent that to me and we all have that posted in our homes.. .....If you need a good laugh just read it over and over again... ... |
02-19-2007, 11:28 AM | #9 |
Currently Suspended! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Florida
Posts: 2,150
| I just loved that. |
02-19-2007, 11:56 AM | #10 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: San Mateo
Posts: 887
| Yes, I read this one somewhere before and I LOVE it!!! It is toooo funny. I send a copy to my parents in Japan (my father understand English) and made him translate for my mom and they had good laught!!! |
02-19-2007, 12:49 PM | #11 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Grand Prairie, TX
Posts: 267
| What a hoot! I have never seen this before. I certanly have a few frequent "visitors" that need to see the rules! |
02-19-2007, 01:00 PM | #12 |
Enja's Mom too! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 2,765
| That is too cute and oh so true!!!
__________________ Farrah, Zeus, Enja & Riley |
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