Adopting vs. Fostering (I would have been Beau's Mommy) - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Trixie's Mom · 05-12-2005, 08:41 AM

Hey everyone. I am the "lady" that was going to adopt Beau from Yorkielover9 but lost out to a fostering family. I feel like those adoptive parents, who are shown a picture of a baby they are told can adopt, you know, they fall in love with that picture, get so excited and even begin to prepare the home for the grand homecoming, then fall in that big disappointment when they are told that the parents changed their mind. Sigh. That was me. I'm only grateful that I didn't let my boys know as this was going to be a big surprise for them, boy I don't think I could have dealt with breaking their hearts!

So I'm here posing this question that I would love for all of you to help me understand. First, I am asking this sincerely, with no ill malice and just hope that yorkielover9 can in the end, keep Beau because I know how precious he is to her, as we all know how we all here love our babies.

But, how can you offer to foster a baby for lets say 3-6 months, knowing that in those months, your baby will begin to get used to the "fostering" family, along with any other babies they might have and not feel that there will be any kind of impact when you come back and take him/her away from a family that you hope will have given them a great love? How do you deal with the sadness of letting him/her go from that fostering family, knowing that there will be an impact on the foster parent plus any additional dogs that might be in the home? Does the fostering parent love this said baby with the same love and be able to let him/her go when lets say, 6 months rolls by?

Do you think this will have an effect on your baby wondering who his mommy is? Is it the person who let me go in the first place? The new people who are taking care of me?

Can anyone help me out here?? I just need to understand this.

I hope that God will send me another little baby to love!! Like the saying goes, all good things come to those who wait and I hope Yorkielover9 will get to keep her baby!!

xoxoxo
Trixie's Mom

SoCalyorkiLvr · 05-12-2005, 08:48 AM

I would look at it like they were coming for a long "visit" and that he is a "cousin" or something like that. Another analogy would be an "exchange student" where they sometimes come and stay for a year and then return home. You always have a "special" relationship with them even after they leave.

Trixie's Mom · 05-12-2005, 08:52 AM

Thanks Kim, that actually was nice!! I guess, when my little baby went with her dad's for the first time, when she came back, she looked at me and him and didn't know who to run to, like should I run to you because I've missed you mommy or shall I stay with dad because he loves me too! I remembered that ALL too well and hated that feeling when she didn't come to me right away. She of course is now used to it because its the "norm" for her to come back and forth. I guess, just knowing that your dogs do get very attached to their owners, fostering parents, whomever they are cared for, you can definitely see it in their little faces and how they react.

Thanks so much!!! Again, I just hope she can keep him!! xoxoxo

bchgirl · 05-12-2005, 09:03 AM

I understand and would be disappointed too. Personally, I think the best fostering situation is one where the animal is placed with someone that is close enough that the original owner has plenty of physical contact/visits. I know people who foster pets and yes they love them too, but understand that their home is not the animal's "forever" home. Giving up a pet is a very gut-wrenching/hearbreaking decision. Several years ago, I had to do the same with my 6 month old Golden Retriever, so I understand Beau's mom's desire to have the opportunity to reclaim her baby if at all possible.

Hang in there, you're right another baby is waiting for you

Trixie's Mom · 05-12-2005, 09:28 AM

Thanks so much!! I know my little boy/girl is out there waiting for us!!! I'm very thankful for you guys and for this forum!! I used to post somewhere else, but glad to be here now and as long as Yorkielover9 can always see Beau, then that will make me the happiest!!!

lily's mom · 05-12-2005, 09:29 AM

I am sorry your heart is broken!! I understand where you are coming from, But she soooo loved Beau and it was like her having to give up one of her limbs. Her life will be back on track soon and I think it would be so wonderful to have her precious Beau in her life again. Does anyone know who will be fostering him? I think she is a VERY strong person to consider his wellfare and placing him in a loving home for now.

I honestly think things like this happen for a reason. There must be another baby out there somewhere that needs you love more than Beau. You just haven't found him or her yet. Just hang on because some desperate pup is coming your way!

Trixie's Mom · 05-12-2005, 09:31 AM

Amen and may God be hearing you right now!!! And Yes, she's a wonderful mommy and I know this must be the hardest thing as even when Trixie goes to her dad's, it always breaks our hearts to see her go!! So we know this alllll too well. Thanks again! I hope Beau's foster family will love him sooo much!!

Thanks!!

schatzie · 05-12-2005, 09:34 AM

I'm sorry to hear your sad news..Schatzie and I have our fingers/paws crossed hoping you find a wonderful fur baby to love real soon!

diva pup · 05-12-2005, 10:08 AM

You seem to have so much love to give another baby, did you ever consider adopting from one of the rescues? They really need help and wouldn't it be such a good feeling to know you have totally changed their life?

Trixie's Mom · 05-12-2005, 10:14 AM

Absolutey and I have been looking every week for a Yorkie from rescues around here, pet shelters, you name it! The minute they have a Yorkie, she's gone within seconds! But they don't notify you right away, I think its more like insider's secret!! I'm considering forking out the huge dollars again to get myself another baby, but yes, I would love to adopt and baby another yorkie in need of me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and just thought, WOW, Here came my chance! That's why I was so sad I guess because I really thought I would be picking him up last night to bring him home with me from what she mentioned in her emails to me. But I know this is hard for all of us, it was just so sad to know he never would is all.

But thanks and yes, we have so much love to give another baby!! I can't wait!!

diva pup · 05-12-2005, 10:23 AM

Please try, adopt-a-yorkie 1-800-save-a-pet.com and www.yorkierescue.com you sound like a perfect mommy for one of these poor little souls

milliecorrales · 05-12-2005, 05:11 PM

Yes, I was one of the three homes that yorkielover9 was considering for taking little Beau too. ANd yes, I was disappointed, had thought about my three sons LOL just like the show. I did talk to her (email) this morning and she has found a placement with one of the YT members in San Diego and will be taking Beau to his new forever home this weekend. This has been an extremely difficult decision for her. She considered several of us that offered a home to beau, and made her decision based on what she considered best for her baby. Congrats to the new mommy, sympathy to the former mommy and best wishes and prayers for Beaus first mommy that things get back on track for her. And for Trixies mom and me, there will be other chances to rescue another baby when the time is right for all.

bettyeanne · 05-12-2005, 05:32 PM

Trixie's Mom ... I'm sorry that little Beau didn't get to come live with you! There will be one that needs you even more! Keep your chin up!

What happened with Sebastian? Did anyone hear what happened there? I believe she wanted a "forever" home for him.

simonandhallie · 05-12-2005, 05:56 PM

I of all people know that when you least expect it a Yorkie will come into your life and you will know that it was meant to be! You may have to wait longer than you think you can but when it happens you will be so thankful that you found your furry soul mate or mates! I cant ellhow much love you have and I commend you for your passion, enthusiasm, and willingness to rescue a yorkie! I think you are amazing!

Yorkie_GirL · 05-14-2005, 09:53 AM

I'm sorry that you feel terrible! But I fostered my Cat Deva in highschool with my boyfriend, but we ended up adopting her. i know how it would feel to get really excited about something, and get your hopes down. maybe it just wasn't the right time.

the right time and the right yorkie will come to you when the time is right, and when that time comes, you'll be very happy that you waited this long.

patience is a virtue. best wishes!

05-12-2005, 08:41 AM	#1
Trixie's Mom YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7	Adopting vs. Fostering (I would have been Beau's Mommy) Hey everyone. I am the "lady" that was going to adopt Beau from Yorkielover9 but lost out to a fostering family. I feel like those adoptive parents, who are shown a picture of a baby they are told can adopt, you know, they fall in love with that picture, get so excited and even begin to prepare the home for the grand homecoming, then fall in that big disappointment when they are told that the parents changed their mind. Sigh. That was me. I'm only grateful that I didn't let my boys know as this was going to be a big surprise for them, boy I don't think I could have dealt with breaking their hearts! So I'm here posing this question that I would love for all of you to help me understand. First, I am asking this sincerely, with no ill malice and just hope that yorkielover9 can in the end, keep Beau because I know how precious he is to her, as we all know how we all here love our babies. But, how can you offer to foster a baby for lets say 3-6 months, knowing that in those months, your baby will begin to get used to the "fostering" family, along with any other babies they might have and not feel that there will be any kind of impact when you come back and take him/her away from a family that you hope will have given them a great love? How do you deal with the sadness of letting him/her go from that fostering family, knowing that there will be an impact on the foster parent plus any additional dogs that might be in the home? Does the fostering parent love this said baby with the same love and be able to let him/her go when lets say, 6 months rolls by? Do you think this will have an effect on your baby wondering who his mommy is? Is it the person who let me go in the first place? The new people who are taking care of me? Can anyone help me out here?? I just need to understand this. I hope that God will send me another little baby to love!! Like the saying goes, all good things come to those who wait and I hope Yorkielover9 will get to keep her baby!! xoxoxo Trixie's Mom

05-12-2005, 09:29 AM	#6
lily's mom Lily Loves Maximus Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 2,633	I am sorry your heart is broken!! I understand where you are coming from, But she soooo loved Beau and it was like her having to give up one of her limbs. Her life will be back on track soon and I think it would be so wonderful to have her precious Beau in her life again. Does anyone know who will be fostering him? I think she is a VERY strong person to consider his wellfare and placing him in a loving home for now. I honestly think things like this happen for a reason. There must be another baby out there somewhere that needs you love more than Beau. You just haven't found him or her yet. Just hang on because some desperate pup is coming your way! __________________ Lily and Dawn

05-12-2005, 09:34 AM	#8
schatzie *Moderator Emeritus* Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Tontitown Arkansas Posts: 4,909	I'm sorry to hear your sad news..Schatzie and I have our fingers/paws crossed hoping you find a wonderful fur baby to love real soon! __________________ ~~~~ Schatzie and Ransom ~~~~

05-12-2005, 05:11 PM	#12
milliecorrales YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 516	I too am disappointed Yes, I was one of the three homes that yorkielover9 was considering for taking little Beau too. ANd yes, I was disappointed, had thought about my three sons LOL just like the show. I did talk to her (email) this morning and she has found a placement with one of the YT members in San Diego and will be taking Beau to his new forever home this weekend. This has been an extremely difficult decision for her. She considered several of us that offered a home to beau, and made her decision based on what she considered best for her baby. Congrats to the new mommy, sympathy to the former mommy and best wishes and prayers for Beaus first mommy that things get back on track for her. And for Trixies mom and me, there will be other chances to rescue another baby when the time is right for all.

05-12-2005, 05:32 PM	#13
bettyeanne Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc. Posts: 9,031	Trixie's Mom ... I'm sorry that little Beau didn't get to come live with you! There will be one that needs you even more! Keep your chin up! What happened with Sebastian? Did anyone hear what happened there? I believe she wanted a "forever" home for him. __________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein

05-12-2005, 08:48 AM	#2
SoCalyorkiLvr BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,246	I would look at it like they were coming for a long "visit" and that he is a "cousin" or something like that. Another analogy would be an "exchange student" where they sometimes come and stay for a year and then return home. You always have a "special" relationship with them even after they leave.

05-12-2005, 08:52 AM	#3
Trixie's Mom YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7	Thanks Kim, that actually was nice!! I guess, when my little baby went with her dad's for the first time, when she came back, she looked at me and him and didn't know who to run to, like should I run to you because I've missed you mommy or shall I stay with dad because he loves me too! I remembered that ALL too well and hated that feeling when she didn't come to me right away. She of course is now used to it because its the "norm" for her to come back and forth. I guess, just knowing that your dogs do get very attached to their owners, fostering parents, whomever they are cared for, you can definitely see it in their little faces and how they react. Thanks so much!!! Again, I just hope she can keep him!! xoxoxo

05-12-2005, 09:03 AM	#4
bchgirl Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: at da beach Posts: 15,444 Blog Entries: 2	I understand and would be disappointed too. Personally, I think the best fostering situation is one where the animal is placed with someone that is close enough that the original owner has plenty of physical contact/visits. I know people who foster pets and yes they love them too, but understand that their home is not the animal's "forever" home. Giving up a pet is a very gut-wrenching/hearbreaking decision. Several years ago, I had to do the same with my 6 month old Golden Retriever, so I understand Beau's mom's desire to have the opportunity to reclaim her baby if at all possible. Hang in there, you're right another baby is waiting for you

05-12-2005, 09:28 AM	#5
Trixie's Mom YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7	Thanks so much!! I know my little boy/girl is out there waiting for us!!! I'm very thankful for you guys and for this forum!! I used to post somewhere else, but glad to be here now and as long as Yorkielover9 can always see Beau, then that will make me the happiest!!!

05-12-2005, 09:31 AM	#7
Trixie's Mom YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7	Amen and may God be hearing you right now!!! And Yes, she's a wonderful mommy and I know this must be the hardest thing as even when Trixie goes to her dad's, it always breaks our hearts to see her go!! So we know this alllll too well. Thanks again! I hope Beau's foster family will love him sooo much!! Thanks!!

05-12-2005, 10:08 AM	#9
diva pup BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,139	You seem to have so much love to give another baby, did you ever consider adopting from one of the rescues? They really need help and wouldn't it be such a good feeling to know you have totally changed their life?

05-12-2005, 10:14 AM	#10
Trixie's Mom YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7	Absolutey and I have been looking every week for a Yorkie from rescues around here, pet shelters, you name it! The minute they have a Yorkie, she's gone within seconds! But they don't notify you right away, I think its more like insider's secret!! I'm considering forking out the huge dollars again to get myself another baby, but yes, I would love to adopt and baby another yorkie in need of me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and just thought, WOW, Here came my chance! That's why I was so sad I guess because I really thought I would be picking him up last night to bring him home with me from what she mentioned in her emails to me. But I know this is hard for all of us, it was just so sad to know he never would is all. But thanks and yes, we have so much love to give another baby!! I can't wait!!

05-12-2005, 10:23 AM	#11
diva pup BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,139	Please try, adopt-a-yorkie 1-800-save-a-pet.com and www.yorkierescue.com you sound like a perfect mommy for one of these poor little souls

05-12-2005, 05:56 PM	#14
simonandhallie *I Love My Monkeys!* Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Falling Waters, WV Posts: 11,166	I of all people know that when you least expect it a Yorkie will come into your life and you will know that it was meant to be! You may have to wait longer than you think you can but when it happens you will be so thankful that you found your furry soul mate or mates! I cant ellhow much love you have and I commend you for your passion, enthusiasm, and willingness to rescue a yorkie! I think you are amazing!

05-14-2005, 09:53 AM	#15
Yorkie_GirL Oreo,Ginger&Cloey Owned Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: none of your business Posts: 1,270	I'm sorry that you feel terrible! But I fostered my Cat Deva in highschool with my boyfriend, but we ended up adopting her. i know how it would feel to get really excited about something, and get your hopes down. maybe it just wasn't the right time. the right time and the right yorkie will come to you when the time is right, and when that time comes, you'll be very happy that you waited this long. patience is a virtue. best wishes!