Haven't Bonded With Yorkie - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Deeni · 05-08-2005, 04:59 PM

Hi Everyone,
I don't post on here often but I do get a lot of great advice by reading all of the posts. I was hoping someone could give me some advice. I have had my Yorkie for 3 1/2 months (he is 5 months old) but I still don't feel as though I have bonded with Rocco. We are having some behavioral issues with him. He always bites and snaps at us, even when we just try to pet him. He is affectionate in the least. We took him to get groomed yesterday and he tried to "attack" and bite the groomers. He sometimes does that with us when we try to bathe him or brush him too.

Also, he is not responding at all to housetraining. It has caused a lot of stress and sometimes I think my husband and I take it out on each other. It really is taking its toll on us.

Has anyone ever experienced the same situation? Do things get better as they get older? Sometimes it seems so tempting to find a better home for him. But something always stops me. I don't want to give up on him. ANY advice would be much appreciated.

SoCalyorkiLvr · 05-08-2005, 05:08 PM

Hi and welcome to Yorkie talk! This is so unusual what you are saying about your yorkie. It sounds like you and he need some training. Have you taken him to puppy kindergarten? How much time do you spend in obedience training (sit, stay, come, etc.) daily? For optimum adjustment training is a necessity in my opinion. It's also an important safety issue and it helps the dog understand that you are the leader of the pack and in control.

What was the temperment of his parents like? Did you have a chance to spend any time with them or inquire of the breeder? It is important to get a dog with a temperament that fits your family needs but most yorkies can fit in with a little adjustment. They do have aggressive personalities and think they are much bigger than thay are. They can be difficult to potty train but if you use manner bands and are consistent and understanding that they don't have full control of their bodily functions until 6 months, hopefully the stress is manageable.

If you do decide to look for an alternative home, does your contract with the breeder state that you have to give the dog back to her? If not, I am sure someone on here would love to have him.

Deeni · 05-08-2005, 05:23 PM

Thanks so much for your reply! We tried to do everything right when we got Rocco. We met the parents and although the mother was very protective of the pups, both were very sweet (especially the father). We neutered him as soon as we could. We have put him in puppy class and he has learned sit and down very easily. We try to work on training every day, even if it is just for 10 minutes or so. And I usually take him for a walk at least once a day.

I think the most frustrating thing for me is that he hardly ever wants any affection. Only when he is really tired does he let us pet him. Mostly I've stopped trying to pet him because I know he will just try to bite at me. It has never hurt but it still bothers me.

I knew we would have problems with housetraining because of the breed but I thought we would see some improvement by now. You mentioned manner bands. What are those? Do you mean the belly bands that I've read about?

Thanks again for your reply!!

SoCalyorkiLvr · 05-08-2005, 05:26 PM

Yes, belly bands. They are a life saver for a male puppy who lives inside . You put a sanitary pad in the belly band and you still stick to your routine for potty training by taking it off when you take him to go potty but the only accidents happen on the band not the carpet or rugs. It also makes it easier to take him to friends' or relatives houses.

Marie · 05-08-2005, 05:29 PM

Im so sorry that Rocco and you has not bonded and that he is having behavioral problems. Maybe he needs to attend puppy classes. Gucci used to be a biter. I used to tell her "No biting" and gave her another chew toy. It took a while but she finally learned. Good luck and please keep us posted.

SoCalyorkiLvr · 05-08-2005, 05:33 PM

If he is not affectionate, are there other things you do enjoy about him? Does he enjoy playing fetch or going for walks or some other games you play? This should help the bonding? What about tricks? Does he like to perform? Is he an athlete? You might try flyball or agility with him. Just soem ideas to think about to help you bond.

Deeni · 05-08-2005, 05:58 PM

Kim,
The agility idea is a good one. He seems like he would really like that. Maybe once the puppy classes are over, we can give that a try that.

Shelbies heart · 05-08-2005, 06:36 PM

Shelbies heart · 05-08-2005, 06:39 PM

My sisters yorkie was not affectionate when he was small, he only wanted to play and bite. He never went to puppy classes or anything, but when he was around a year old, he calmed down some and now he wants her to carry him around alot. He still only is affectionate when he wants to be but it is pretty often now. He wants to sit in her lap all the time and is a big licker.

Yorkies have a mind of their own, more then any other dog I have ever seen. I think your baby is just that, Still a baby, almost like a two year old that you can't reason with. Hold tight and I bet he will come around. Just keep giving him love love love.

whispersmom2 · 05-08-2005, 07:27 PM

How would a carrier work? Do you think that would help? I have carried a puppy in a sling around my neck but that was for a different reason. Make that baby dependent on you is what I have heard recommended. How did he act with his parents and siblings?? It makes me sad that your little guy cannot accept human love..

Bentley'sMom · 05-08-2005, 08:43 PM

When I was in puppy class with my boys they recommended a technique called "passive restraint" to help calm an agressive dog and make it realize that you are dominant over them. Once a dog realizes they are not dominant, the biting and agressive behavior is supposed to dramatically decrease. I never had a dominance problem with my boys, but there were many people in the class with large breeds and their dogs became much calmer due to the passive restraint.

What you do is sit down on the floor with your legs out in front of you (or you can sit on the couch and do this too). Take your puppy and sit in on your lab with its back against your chest and legs on your legs. (it's hard to describe, but their belly should be exposed, kind of like how you would sit a child on your lap). This is a very vulnerable position for them and they most likely will fight and try to roll over and get up, but you cannot let them. You must hold firm until they start to relax (it could take awhile, if you let them get up when they struggle - they win, you must keep firm until they give up and relax). If he tries to bite, gently put your hand under his chin, forcing his mouth to close. Stay in this position for about 15 minutes. When your puppy has relaxed you can rub his tummby, feet, face, etc. Once your puppy is completely relaxed for awhile you can gently remove your arms and let him up. They say you should start doing this at least 3 times a week for 10-15 minutes. Anyway, it's worth a try. Hopefully it will help you have a calmer puppy who knows how to be handled by his owner without biting.

mojo · 05-08-2005, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deeni

I think the most frustrating thing for me is that he hardly ever wants any affection. Only when he is really tired does he let us pet him. Mostly I've stopped trying to pet him because I know he will just try to bite at me. It has never hurt but it still bothers me.

Thanks again for your reply!!

First, speaking of only my experience, don't know about anyone else, my yorkie is the same way with affection, she wants it only when she wants it, not when I want it. Very catlike in that way. I am thinking maybe that is something about this breed. They are very independant and intelligent and a lot just dont want to be babied.
Another thought I have is if the puppy tries to bite you, I would spray the mouth with bitter apple to get him to stop. Or give him a "puppy time out" and put him in his crate for a short period and continue to do that every single time he tries to bite you.
I just got my 2nd yorkie and I am actually in love with him. He is one of my children.
I am [/B]not[B] being judgemental, but perhaps this isn't the breed of dog for you.
I hope you can work it out. Your little fella needs a wonderful home and lots of love (even if it seems he doesnt want it LOL).

Good luck to you!

Shelbies heart · 05-09-2005, 05:43 AM

I agree with Whispersmom2 about the carrier, I didn't think of it until she said it, but my sister carried her yorkie around in the Sling you can get at Pet Smart, she would carry him around the house while she did house work and that may have been what changed him.

Sydney'sMom · 05-09-2005, 09:21 AM

It sounds like Rocco has the same sort of personality as my Sydney. Don't get discouraged.

Syd isn't one for petting either...but she does like to be on laps and sholders. She is still young (only 6 months) and still at that age her biggest priority is to play/chew. However since day one we have brought her chew bone up on to the couch so she is now in the habit of chewing on our laps. Also have you tried a good scratch instead of petting? He might find that enjoyable.

As far as biting during baths and such...I definately have the same problem. I posted a thread asking for advice and most everyone said they had never had a similar problem. Syd is just very strong willed. It isn't that what is being done to her is hurting her...she would just rather be doing other things. She is improving a little at a time...mostly because I NEVER let her win. Whatever it is that we are doing...bath, brushing, haircut, nail clipping...we finish it. The more she realizes that Mom always gets her way...eventually, the less she fights me. Ocassionally we have a serious biting problem...she has drawn blood. For these times...I have a muzzle. This may sound cruel...but it doesn't hurt her at all...and sometimes just the threat of the muzzle is enough to calm her down.

Also next week we are taking her in to get fixed. If you aren't planning to breed Rocco...you might want to consider this. Removing those pesky hormones often improves personality especially agressiveness.

Good luck to you. Just hang in there.

Carolina girl · 05-09-2005, 10:31 AM

I agree with the previous post. It could just be a dominance thing. Little things you don't think of can help. My girl never goes out of the door before me. I am alpha. I always eat before she does. And make sure they always will lay on their backs for you. If you cannot get the dog to lay on it's back it definintley is a dominance problem.

05-08-2005, 04:59 PM	#1
Deeni Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 77	Haven't Bonded With Yorkie Hi Everyone, I don't post on here often but I do get a lot of great advice by reading all of the posts. I was hoping someone could give me some advice. I have had my Yorkie for 3 1/2 months (he is 5 months old) but I still don't feel as though I have bonded with Rocco. We are having some behavioral issues with him. He always bites and snaps at us, even when we just try to pet him. He is affectionate in the least. We took him to get groomed yesterday and he tried to "attack" and bite the groomers. He sometimes does that with us when we try to bathe him or brush him too. Also, he is not responding at all to housetraining. It has caused a lot of stress and sometimes I think my husband and I take it out on each other. It really is taking its toll on us. Has anyone ever experienced the same situation? Do things get better as they get older? Sometimes it seems so tempting to find a better home for him. But something always stops me. I don't want to give up on him. ANY advice would be much appreciated. __________________ Deeni

05-08-2005, 05:23 PM	#3
Deeni Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 77	Thanks so much for your reply! We tried to do everything right when we got Rocco. We met the parents and although the mother was very protective of the pups, both were very sweet (especially the father). We neutered him as soon as we could. We have put him in puppy class and he has learned sit and down very easily. We try to work on training every day, even if it is just for 10 minutes or so. And I usually take him for a walk at least once a day. I think the most frustrating thing for me is that he hardly ever wants any affection. Only when he is really tired does he let us pet him. Mostly I've stopped trying to pet him because I know he will just try to bite at me. It has never hurt but it still bothers me. I knew we would have problems with housetraining because of the breed but I thought we would see some improvement by now. You mentioned manner bands. What are those? Do you mean the belly bands that I've read about? Thanks again for your reply!! __________________ Deeni

05-08-2005, 05:29 PM	#5
Marie Mom loves Gucci Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York City Posts: 6,427	Im so sorry that Rocco and you has not bonded and that he is having behavioral problems. Maybe he needs to attend puppy classes. Gucci used to be a biter. I used to tell her "No biting" and gave her another chew toy. It took a while but she finally learned. Good luck and please keep us posted. __________________ Huggies, Gucci and Marie http://www.dogster.com/?132187 "I have been egged"

05-08-2005, 05:58 PM	#7
Deeni Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 77	Kim, The agility idea is a good one. He seems like he would really like that. Maybe once the puppy classes are over, we can give that a try that. __________________ Deeni

05-08-2005, 06:36 PM	#8
Shelbies heart YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 258	Last edited by Shelbies heart; 05-08-2005 at 06:41 PM.

05-08-2005, 05:08 PM	#2
SoCalyorkiLvr BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,246	Hi and welcome to Yorkie talk! This is so unusual what you are saying about your yorkie. It sounds like you and he need some training. Have you taken him to puppy kindergarten? How much time do you spend in obedience training (sit, stay, come, etc.) daily? For optimum adjustment training is a necessity in my opinion. It's also an important safety issue and it helps the dog understand that you are the leader of the pack and in control. What was the temperment of his parents like? Did you have a chance to spend any time with them or inquire of the breeder? It is important to get a dog with a temperament that fits your family needs but most yorkies can fit in with a little adjustment. They do have aggressive personalities and think they are much bigger than thay are. They can be difficult to potty train but if you use manner bands and are consistent and understanding that they don't have full control of their bodily functions until 6 months, hopefully the stress is manageable. If you do decide to look for an alternative home, does your contract with the breeder state that you have to give the dog back to her? If not, I am sure someone on here would love to have him.

05-08-2005, 05:26 PM	#4
SoCalyorkiLvr BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,246	Yes, belly bands. They are a life saver for a male puppy who lives inside . You put a sanitary pad in the belly band and you still stick to your routine for potty training by taking it off when you take him to go potty but the only accidents happen on the band not the carpet or rugs. It also makes it easier to take him to friends' or relatives houses.

05-08-2005, 05:33 PM	#6
SoCalyorkiLvr BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,246	If he is not affectionate, are there other things you do enjoy about him? Does he enjoy playing fetch or going for walks or some other games you play? This should help the bonding? What about tricks? Does he like to perform? Is he an athlete? You might try flyball or agility with him. Just soem ideas to think about to help you bond.

05-08-2005, 06:39 PM	#9
Shelbies heart YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 258	My sisters yorkie was not affectionate when he was small, he only wanted to play and bite. He never went to puppy classes or anything, but when he was around a year old, he calmed down some and now he wants her to carry him around alot. He still only is affectionate when he wants to be but it is pretty often now. He wants to sit in her lap all the time and is a big licker. Yorkies have a mind of their own, more then any other dog I have ever seen. I think your baby is just that, Still a baby, almost like a two year old that you can't reason with. Hold tight and I bet he will come around. Just keep giving him love love love.

05-08-2005, 07:27 PM	#10
whispersmom2 Inactive Account Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: MD Posts: 2,985	How would a carrier work? Do you think that would help? I have carried a puppy in a sling around my neck but that was for a different reason. Make that baby dependent on you is what I have heard recommended. How did he act with his parents and siblings?? It makes me sad that your little guy cannot accept human love..

05-08-2005, 08:43 PM	#11
Bentley'sMom YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Redmond, WA Posts: 299	When I was in puppy class with my boys they recommended a technique called "passive restraint" to help calm an agressive dog and make it realize that you are dominant over them. Once a dog realizes they are not dominant, the biting and agressive behavior is supposed to dramatically decrease. I never had a dominance problem with my boys, but there were many people in the class with large breeds and their dogs became much calmer due to the passive restraint. What you do is sit down on the floor with your legs out in front of you (or you can sit on the couch and do this too). Take your puppy and sit in on your lab with its back against your chest and legs on your legs. (it's hard to describe, but their belly should be exposed, kind of like how you would sit a child on your lap). This is a very vulnerable position for them and they most likely will fight and try to roll over and get up, but you cannot let them. You must hold firm until they start to relax (it could take awhile, if you let them get up when they struggle - they win, you must keep firm until they give up and relax). If he tries to bite, gently put your hand under his chin, forcing his mouth to close. Stay in this position for about 15 minutes. When your puppy has relaxed you can rub his tummby, feet, face, etc. Once your puppy is completely relaxed for awhile you can gently remove your arms and let him up. They say you should start doing this at least 3 times a week for 10-15 minutes. Anyway, it's worth a try. Hopefully it will help you have a calmer puppy who knows how to be handled by his owner without biting.

05-09-2005, 05:43 AM	#13
Shelbies heart YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 258	I agree with Whispersmom2 about the carrier, I didn't think of it until she said it, but my sister carried her yorkie around in the Sling you can get at Pet Smart, she would carry him around the house while she did house work and that may have been what changed him.

05-09-2005, 09:21 AM	#14
Sydney'sMom YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Erie, PA Posts: 517	I feel your pain It sounds like Rocco has the same sort of personality as my Sydney. Don't get discouraged. Syd isn't one for petting either...but she does like to be on laps and sholders. She is still young (only 6 months) and still at that age her biggest priority is to play/chew. However since day one we have brought her chew bone up on to the couch so she is now in the habit of chewing on our laps. Also have you tried a good scratch instead of petting? He might find that enjoyable. As far as biting during baths and such...I definately have the same problem. I posted a thread asking for advice and most everyone said they had never had a similar problem. Syd is just very strong willed. It isn't that what is being done to her is hurting her...she would just rather be doing other things. She is improving a little at a time...mostly because I NEVER let her win. Whatever it is that we are doing...bath, brushing, haircut, nail clipping...we finish it. The more she realizes that Mom always gets her way...eventually, the less she fights me. Ocassionally we have a serious biting problem...she has drawn blood. For these times...I have a muzzle. This may sound cruel...but it doesn't hurt her at all...and sometimes just the threat of the muzzle is enough to calm her down. Also next week we are taking her in to get fixed. If you aren't planning to breed Rocco...you might want to consider this. Removing those pesky hormones often improves personality especially agressiveness. Good luck to you. Just hang in there.

05-09-2005, 10:31 AM	#15
Carolina girl YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Aiken, South Carolina Posts: 320	I agree with the previous post. It could just be a dominance thing. Little things you don't think of can help. My girl never goes out of the door before me. I am alpha. I always eat before she does. And make sure they always will lay on their backs for you. If you cannot get the dog to lay on it's back it definintley is a dominance problem.