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Old 01-19-2006, 01:39 PM   #1
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Default Keeping Granddaughter's Yorkie

My daughter has decided to get a divorce. She has to move out of the house because they are selling it. Her husband is being an ass and making it as hard on her as he can. She will have to move into an apartment for now as the houses she has looked at renting are so expensive and they want a big deposit and more deposits to turn on the utilities, and buying appliances would be expensive. (They are leaving hers in the house they are selling). She will be going from a 5 bedroom house, 3 bath home to a 2 bedroom, one bath apartment for now. The worse part is that my granddaugter can not take her Yorkie. The apartment doesn't allow pets.

As some of you may remember, I have a 9 month old Westie, Duffy, and a 6 1/2 month Yorkie named Jasmine. Tori, my granddaughter got her Yorkie shortly after I did. He is the same age as Jasmine, born one day apart. Different breeders. His name is Murphy. Tori is a great mama to him and he adored her as does her whole family. Tori is 13. She has taken great care of him. She is the one who feeds him, bathes him, takes him out.
She definitely was responsible for all his care. She has a sister l5 and a brother 8. The girls will stay with their mother and both parents will have joint custody of the son.
Tori is devastated that she won't be able to have Murphy with her. It may take a few months before they can afford a house. Even though my two are a handful, I told Tori I would keep Murphy for as long as needed and she could stay with me on weekends to see him.

They are staying with me now until this weekend when they move into the apartment. Murphy is a darling. He was not used to being around other dogs and barked and growled everytime my two came close to him, but after a couple of days he came around and gets along great with them. They run through the house and sound like a herd of elephants.
I really didn't want another dog right now. My two can be a handful. Duffy is very hyper. Never still a minute and into everything. Sometimes I have to put him in the utility room or outside to get a little peace and quiet. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, he can just wear me out. Jasmine is different when he is around. She is fairly quiet and lays around a lot when he is outside, but the minute he comes in she is as rowdy as he is.
Jasmine and Murphy are neither one completely housebroken. That is another issue and last night Duffy, who is housebroken, peed in the house twice. It may be having another male around. My husband is retired and home all day, but he has not been in good health for the last year. He has diabeties, congestive heart failure and is losing his eye sight because of the diabetes. He loves the furbabies they are a lot of company for him, but he doesn't watch them as closely as I do, or take them out as often as they should be.

I am afraid Murphy will really miss Tori when she isn't there every night. He has already taken up with my husband and I, but I don't want to become his mommy when Tori isn't around. I want her to remain the most important thing in his life, just like I am with my two. They love my husband, but he comments at the way they are with me. It is obvious that I am their Mommy and the most important person in their lives. I want Murphy to be happy while he is here. He seems to be but during the day he will go in the bedroom where Tori sleeps and find some of her clothing and sleep on it. I don't want to take Tori's place. She loves him so much.

Sorry for this long post. I guess I don't really have a question as much as I just needed to "talk." You guys are the only ones who really understand how much these little guys mean to me and to Tori.
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Old 01-19-2006, 02:43 PM   #2
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I am sorry to hear about this..I wish your daughter best of luck with her new home..it will take time to adjust. My brother's wife has asked for a divorce this week. The kids are grown, but she is keeping the 4 dogs..and my poor brother is battling Non-hodgkins Lymphoma to boot..
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Old 01-19-2006, 02:59 PM   #3
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a divorce is so hard on everyone involved. The poor little dog won't even know what to think. I think it's wonderful of you to take in the little guy. I hope she is able to get back on her feet and find a place that takes pets soon.
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:08 PM   #4
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Sounds to me like you are one great lady,you will make everything work out,anyone that is that caring is willing to do the extra..someone above looks out for people like you
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:23 PM   #5
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I'm so sorry your family is going thru this. Please know that we are here for you and I know you will love the little yorkie granddog and care for it.
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:25 PM   #6
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you seem like a great Grandma
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:29 PM   #7
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I'm so sorry that your loved ones are having to go through this. It's so hard on every in the family.

It's wonderful that you have the compassion in your heart to help your grand daughter. How commendable!

I wish you all good luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:39 PM   #8
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I'm so sorry to hear about this! Your granddaughter was so excited to get Murphy. Please keep us updated & you & your family will be in my thoughts to get through this tough time!
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Old 01-19-2006, 03:47 PM   #9
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You are such a wonderful person to take in a new family member! I'm sure it is not easy when you are so used to your own little ones and daily routines. I give you a lot of credit. On the positive note, it is lucky this dog is with you and two other dogs around. It probably will not be depressed like most would be since he has fun with the others and you!
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Old 01-19-2006, 10:03 PM   #10
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Divorce is hard. Best of luck, hang in there, I'm sure everything will work out.

May I be so rude to ask a question though? Why are they only sharing custody of the son, do the girls have no desire to spend time with their father?
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Old 01-19-2006, 10:45 PM   #11
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wow,, this brought a tear to my eye. devorce can take it's toll on the whole family. You are a very good grandma!!! I can just feel the love you have for your daughter, grandbabies and furbabies. I am going though somewhat the samething with my human niece. Her mommy got into some trouble and I have costudy of her till my sister gets out. I've had her since last Feb and will have her till Sep. I know what you mean about not wanting to take the mommy roll. My niece was only 2 at the time she came to stay with us and I try so hard to talk about her mom so she don't forget her. I tried to take Cherish to go see her mom at least once a week but she was moved far away so it's been hard to take Cherish to go see her. I show her pictures so that she don't forget her. Now that she is getting older she'll ask why she can't go to school with her mommy. (That's where she thinks she at) I tell her that she'll be back to pick her up soon. Then she will ask why can't I go to school with her, doesn't my mommy love me?,,,,,,, I try to answer with out getting misty eyed and say, "your mommy loves you very much!" By this time I am trying to change the sub,,,,

Yes I for one do understand how you both feel about your babies. Just like humans,, we love them just the same! At least your grandaughter will come see her baby on the weekends till she can have her back with her. I wish you all the best of luck. I will say a prayer for you all!!!
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Old 01-20-2006, 05:05 AM   #12
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Thank you all for your support and for letting me get it off my chest. I knew I could count on your guys.

Tiggerwit-The girls belong to my daughters first husband. He has visitation rights everyother weekend but rarely sees the girls. They haven't seen him since September and he lives 20 miles away. The son belongs to the second husband, the one she is divorcing now. They have been married for 10 years.
My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, talented, but for some reason never had a lot of self confidence. My other two children had all the self confidence in the world. Go figure. I believe that's why my daughter has always made very poor choices in men. Both times she has married men who were very controlling, and mentally abusive. Her first husband could have been a twin for the guy in "Sleeping with the enemy". The guy she is divorcing now was not quite as bad, but he was not good to the girls. He yelled and screamed at them so much, they got to the point they hated him. A marriage can't survive like that.

My family has always been my life. I would do anything for any of my 3 children and 8 grandchildren and of course my husband. I was lucky enough to get a great husband who has always been my rock. Unfortunately, with his health, now I am the one who has to take care of everything in the family.
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Old 01-20-2006, 06:52 AM   #13
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your making me cry,,, your a very sweet, kind person...just like my mom.
there should be more moms in this world like you and my mom....
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Old 01-28-2006, 10:13 AM   #14
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I hope everything is working out. You are a very special lady and your daughter is lucky to have you in her life.

Trust me I know, my mom is the same way and I am thankful for that every day.

Best wish and Godspeed.
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Old 01-28-2006, 11:04 AM   #15
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I think it is so sad that at this time in her life when she needs her "best friend" more than ever, that your granddaughter is denied him due to a landlord who doesn't allow pets. There are laws in place now to protect people like your granddaughter and that understand the important role a dog can play in a person's life.

I am sure that Murphy would qualify as an emotional support service dog under these circumstances and the apartment would be obligated under the law to allow him. She just needs a letter from her counselor saying that the dog offers her emotional support during this difficult time and will help her during her parent's divorce. It is that simple. If you need assistance with this, I would be glad to help. Here is an internet article about it.

http://www.bazelon.org/issues/housin...nfosheet6.html
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