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10-28-2016, 11:41 AM | #1 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Michigan
Posts: 431
| What is wrong with me?!?! Not bonding Some of you may have seen photos I posted this week. I adopted a young adult male Yorkie on Monday. I have adopted two rescues in the past & have had several dogs as puppies over the years. I've always felt some type of connection to them immediately. However, with this Yorkie, despite how beautiful and sweet he is, I feel almost indifferent to him. What in the world is wrong with me?!? I have never felt this way towards any dogs I have had. I wanted a young adult dog and had been searching for some time. I fell in love with the picture I saw of him. He is somewhat shy, timid, but very sweet. I am giving him more attention and love like he deserves and needs, especially right now, but I feel a total emotional disconnect with him. I don't understand it. I feel like the worst Yorkie mom ever!! I sooooo totally love my other two. What is wrong with me? I can only cry. I feel like I made such a horrible mistake, which is so, so very unfair for this Yorkie. Please help.
__________________ Sandi Yorkies Lexi Riley & Dillon Last edited by LuvMyFurkidz; 10-28-2016 at 11:42 AM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
10-28-2016, 12:29 PM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Wildwood, Florida
Posts: 84
| You know what? I was the same way when we got Penny. She was everything I ever wanted and I was just blah about her. It took a little time but now she is my most precious thing. I love her so very much. Give it time. I am sure he will worm his way into your heart like Penny did mine. |
10-28-2016, 05:03 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,956
| I agree with Shicks and magicfan, give yourself time to adjust to having this lil guy and knowing his personality. Give him time to adjust to his new humans and fur family. And remember, dogs feed off your emotions, he is a beautiful lil boy, you are very lucky to have found just what you were searching for (((hugs))).
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog |
10-28-2016, 06:24 PM | #5 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Michigan
Posts: 431
| You ALL will never know how much your posts & encouragement means to me. It was like a weight was lifted-thank you. I think just expressing my doubts here & finding that some others have experienced this, that I dont feel so totally "abnormal". LOL I feel so much more relaxed & I swear "new puppy" (haven't chose a name yet) felt it too as he really played with Riley tonight like never before! It was sooo precious & exactly what I wanted to see with him. He would come back to me every little while & stand in my lap (which he hadn't done yet-he will lay tightly against me while sleeping on the sofa, but hasn't laid in my lap yet either). It was like he needed to have my approval & reassurance. It was so darn sweet! I think I had these preconceived ideas of what the new adopted dog would be like. I know what I wanted to see happen & was so disappointed when it didn't. I had been thinking about getting another Yorkie/playmate for Riley for around 6 months, so had a good amount of time to dream. Again, thank you all.
__________________ Sandi Yorkies Lexi Riley & Dillon |
10-29-2016, 06:22 AM | #6 |
Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator | Aw, Sandi - I think you are being wayyy too hard on yourself...give yourself some time to bond and settle into this change...sometimes it just takes longer. I volunteer at a shelter 3x a week here and I can def say that these shelter/rescue kiddos *really* do go through SO much. So so so much. And so oftentimes when adopted, they get to their new homes and are kinda just in shut down mode / recovery mode / limbo mode -- it can take these little ones some real time to open up, blossom, bond, feel lively and safe again, and secure in their new place...with all these new smells, routines, people, dogs, surroundings. It's a lot for them. So just let this little bud of a relationship bloom naturally -- bc it *will*. Trust . And bless your big heart for adopting him!! Btw, does he have a name yet? Also, piccies please !
__________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann | Pfeiffer | Marcel Verdel Purcell | Wylie | Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° |
10-29-2016, 06:37 AM | #7 | |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,956
| Quote:
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog | |
10-29-2016, 06:28 PM | #8 |
♥ Maximo and Teddy Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 25,041
| Your new baby is beautiful! Don't be so hard on yourself. The bond will come in time.
__________________ Kristin, Max and Teddy |
10-29-2016, 07:12 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Maui, Hawaii
Posts: 7,740
| Love takes time. Be patient, and let it happen. You can't force these things, but in time it will come.
__________________ SANDY, MOM TO TIKI , KAYLA , KARLEE , R.I.P. MEIKA |
11-01-2016, 07:51 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Delaware
Posts: 2,663
| When I got Duchess I felt the same way. In the beginning, I was completely indifferent. For me though, I was able to figure out why. I figured out that I was comparing her to my Brandi who I had just lost six months prior to getting Duchess. I thought it was too soon. When I realized what I was doing I immediately stopped. Once I was able to stop comparing, the love flowed and the bonds formed. I can't imagine life without her. I refer to her as my little devil dog. She terrorizes the neighborhood and everybody knows who she is. She brings a smile to my face every single day. I hope you can figure it out too. I believe they also can feel your emotional distance. I know Duchess did. She wasn't as affectionate but now, she is always up in my face especially if she wants something. |
11-01-2016, 09:58 AM | #11 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Colorado
Posts: 49
| give it time ... your dog is a stranger you are getting to know - sometimes we bond to strangers immediately - sometimes we don't ... She dogs often don't show their personality until they feel comfortable - love and trust is a process. My husband and our second dog took a year ( !) to forge a bond ... The dog was a rescue and 2 years old when we got him - he is by far my husband's favorite now but in the beginning they just did not click ... Eddie is the type of dog who had been passed around and it took him a long time to feel truly home with us. He was sweet, and loving and well behaved when we got him but emotionally aloof - now he is definitely " one of us" - it is hard to describe but one day he just decided to trust again and is the most loyal and " connected" dog ever ... Don't feel bad - take it day by day - enjoy cuddling, playing and walking your new buddy and you will both grow into that big love ... |
11-01-2016, 11:22 AM | #12 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Michigan
Posts: 431
| I so appreciate all the encouragement. It has helped a lot. We are taking it day by day. We all went on an outing yesterday to the pet store. My 2 kidz always get made over there & Kody received his equal share & very much enjoyed meeting new people. We tested out a 3-dog leash attachment. (Why didn't I try this year's ago?!?) They all walked on it surprisingly well! He had the opportunity to explore & really enjoyed smelling everything. He wasn't nearly as afraid as I thought he would be.
__________________ Sandi Yorkies Lexi Riley & Dillon |
11-01-2016, 07:53 PM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: MD
Posts: 103
| You need time to get to know him.
__________________ |
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