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03-17-2005, 08:39 PM | #1 |
BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,681
| To God - From The Dog: My friend snet these to me and I thought they were cute! and Oh so true! TO GOD - FROM THE DOG: Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"? Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are t here mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember - to be a good dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and wash my butt when we have company. 16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last question . . Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? |
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03-17-2005, 09:41 PM | #2 |
Tinkerbell, My Little Flutterpup Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Beautiful California!
Posts: 6,112
| I have tears running down my face because I am trying to stifle my laughing as the kids are in bed! TOOO FUNNY!! |
03-18-2005, 02:16 AM | #3 |
The Royal Mommy Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: California
Posts: 2,010
| OMG!! That was wonderful! It's going on the fridge!
__________________ (`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´)¸.·'´) «´¨ `·.¸¸.*Aimée, Sandy, and Tia*.¸¸.·´¨`» (¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`'·.¸) |
03-18-2005, 02:26 AM | #4 |
I love my Monster! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Elkhart, IN
Posts: 1,137
| Very Funny! Oh thanks for that one...what a great start to anyday! Thanks again! |
03-18-2005, 02:50 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc.
Posts: 9,031
| That's hysterical!! I have "non-pet" friends who send me poems/jokes about pets!! I believe they are "closet" pet lovers ... just won't take the leap!
__________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein |
03-18-2005, 04:13 AM | #6 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 91
| I loved it!! Thanks so much for posting -- it's wonderful!!! Happy Friday!
__________________ Thanks so much! Kisses! Angelena & Lily Belle |
03-18-2005, 05:04 AM | #7 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Florida
Posts: 270
| That is so cute.
__________________ Sabrina Hailey |
03-18-2005, 05:25 AM | #8 |
BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,681
| Yah!......I thought they were a hoot too!!! Glad you enjoyed the list.............feel free to add some more of your cute pet poems, lists jokes etc. |
03-18-2005, 06:41 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Arkansas
Posts: 972
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03-18-2005, 06:59 AM | #10 |
Got Mojo? Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Miami
Posts: 1,117
| Ahahahaha...i loved it!! I am sure the last questions will be one of Mojo's first things to ask God....hehehehehehe |
03-18-2005, 07:03 AM | #11 |
BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,681
| Im very surprised a leg or arm hunch wasnt in this list!!!!!...........Hee hee Lets add shall we! Dear GOD.......I will not hunch arms, legs, necks.etc of my owenrs or company anymore! Dear GOD....I promise not to poop in Jillian and Lukes play castle anymore when moms isnt looking!!...........Ugh!..........ture story!.......has happened twice..... Last edited by luvdorkyyorkies; 03-18-2005 at 07:09 AM. |
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