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Old 04-27-2016, 10:24 PM   #1
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Cry My baby is dying, am I holding on too long?

Hello,
I posted here under 'Harley Kilgore' : Thread: "Harley has Cushings Disease" a month ago. I have been so distraught, I can't remember the sign in so found an older account from years back.

Harley is 11 1/2 y.o. was diagnosed with Cushings the first of November 2015 and treated with Vetoryl. In Feb when we finally got this blood work and ACTH tests showing Cushings was under control and he was doing great, he started stumbling, falling over, face planting etc . We have spent $6,000.00 in 6 months for emergency over night hospital stays, tests, (sonogram, ACTH tests every 4 weeks), blood work, medication, prescription low fat dog food after a bout with Pancreatic and chronic UTI's, along with an MRI. We work directly with an Internist Ms Perez (which we love) at the Coral Springs Animal Hospital instead of a Vet. After MRI we were told Harley had 2-4 months to live due to a very large brain tumor and needed Radiation at a Florida University 5 hours drive North of us and would be there a week or so at a time. I cried day and night. Estimate would be $8,000.00 no guarantee but MAY give us another year with our Harley. We are not rich and can not afford the Radiation Therapy. I begged for another treatment but his age and health the only alternative is a steroid to keep him comfortable called Prednisone. The last 2 weeks have been WONDERFUL, it's like we have our Harley from a year ago back. He started barking again, greeting us at door and smothering us with kisses, prancing around stable without falling / stumbling etc. BUT the last 2 days, I see him reverting back to stumbling and falling over, urinating excessively, starving constantly even tho I am feeding him boiled chicken breast with rice 3 to 4 times a day. I am heartbroken and feel like I am about to have a nervous break down. Would anyone take a loan out and have the Radiation done?? I am sick to my stomach and feel like I am abandoning my baby. Has anyone had a fur baby cured from a brain tumor? I can't bear the thought of putting him to sleep when he looks at me with his big brown eyes. Am I being selfish, stupid etc? I am so desperate to save him I am praying for a Miracle and even pour some of my Holy Water I have had in a bottle for years.
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Old 04-28-2016, 03:00 AM   #2
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Hi - and welcome to YT - I so wish it was under happier circumstances for you and little Harley.

Right off, you are *not* being "selfish or stupid" - not in any way. You are merely struggling with a huge, heart wrenching decision here...and I really feel for you.

I have heard many times that radiation/chemo is very tough on dogs in general and given your Harleys rather poor prognosis here, I'm not sure I'd go thru all this if it were me. I also don't think I'd want my kiddo staying in the vet hospital for a week or so at a time while going thru this...wouldn't want his days spent like that. But keep in mind, I'm looking at this through the luxury of being on the outside too.

I wish some miracle would happen for you both, I really do.

Keep looking in your heart, and try to assess the quality of his life - and hopefully, you'll arrive at some decision eventually. Just know that whatever you decide, you've clearly given this little one a wonderful life!

Keep us posted on how you and Harley are doing. My thoughts are with you both.
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Old 04-28-2016, 05:28 AM   #3
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My tuffy had Cushing disease. I cried so much. I knew in my heart it was time to let him go home to his creator. He stopped eating got real thin and just had that look. Only you can make this decision. I had to call my friend to help me take him. It was so heartbreaking. Tuffy was the cutest brown curly hair mini poodle. I know he is waiting for me in heaven. I will pray for you and your precious furry friend.
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Old 04-28-2016, 05:55 AM   #4
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I am so sorry for the pain you are going through.

I will answer you question no I would not take a loan out. I am a very right to the point kind of person. You are in such heart pain your self tha'ts why is't so hard to see what to do. My husband has been doing chemo for a year now and will to the end. Its hard for a human that can tell us what he needs but a dog can not .

This is just my opinion I think you need to let your baby go I know most people don't like to give that advice but I have had times that I held on too long to a loved pet and that baby suffered because I couldn't let go.

I pray for you and your baby and I'm sorry for all your pain.
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Old 04-28-2016, 06:37 AM   #5
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I'm so sorry for your pain and suffering. Our family had lost two of our Jack russells within the last couple of years. One we had to make a heart wrenching decision to put her down, as it was a long trip to the university that could treat her and whether she survive or not it was $2-3K, and if she survived she may have to be treated for diabetes (which the vet think it was) for the rest of her life. My mother can't keep a schedule like that and we didn't have the luxury of time to really decide on options (she was about near comatose, harshly breathing and seem to barely be hanging on). In the end we let her go. At least the one good thing was when they had prep'd her for travel, she was already under meds and had a catheter in her so the process was more smoother without further discomfort for her.
Our older jack russell had died at home earlier this year. On the day before she died, we considered taking her to the vet for either last options or to put her to sleep. She wasn't walking but she seemed fairly alert, so we hesitated and figured to wait for the next day to see how she does. Wished we could've given her something more for the pain. But she had 3 surgeries (two within the last year) for tumors, so they think it was internal tumors (the vet believed it was tumors on the brain and her kidneys, because of her symptoms and her bloodwork).
I also hate to advise this but you might should let him go. You can choose to keep him home and try to just make things comfortable as possible for him till the end with pain meds, etc. or take him to the vet for a quick end. Might ask the vet if they do house calls, see if they'll do it at your home where he'll feel most comfortable. Chemo is hard on a full grown human, let alone an itty bitty dog, especially a senior one. If the surgery/treatment was guaranteed or have a very good success rate, then I'd say go for it, but those are usually 50/50 at best to much less when the dog is older and has had other health issues. We hesitated with our older JR girl, Chloe, and she suffered in her last several hours for it I would rather they go peacefully than watch them suffer. I know it's not an easy choice, but there are at least a couple options you can do for his end. If you're wanting to do the first option, consider talking to the vet about some good pain meds or anything that could keep him at ease as much as possible. Let him eat anything he wants, etc. (sans anything considered toxic, of course) it can be hamburgers, human food and so on, again, within reason. I know that may sound like a bad idea, but at this point I'd give him anything that would make him happy.
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Old 04-28-2016, 09:00 AM   #6
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That is a tough call. I was in the same predicament you were in except it was liver shunts. My Brandi was a rescue that I got when she was 7 years old. She was actually diagnosed later in life at the age of 12. Because of her age and other medical issues, I decided to treat her medically instead of putting her through surgery. For a full year, she lived free from pain with medication and her special diet and then her pain came back with a vengeance.

I mistakenly held on too long thinking she would pull through. She had done it before so I just kept treating her with pain medications because I didn't want to let her go. In hindsight allowing her to linger on haunts me more than her actual dying. The thought that I was responsible for prolonging her pain still causes a great amount of guilt for me.

If your baby is in pain and there is no hope for recovery, then you have to weigh her pain and quality of life against your desire to keep her with you. I can tell you from experience, if she is in pain, the guilt you'll feel may be more devastating then actually letting her go.
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Old 04-28-2016, 05:42 PM   #7
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My last Yorkie passed away at 15 years old from a brain tumor. The vet gave us prednisone too and it worked for a few weeks but then stopped working. I made the decision to put him down because in addition to being blind he had a stroke on one side and kept falling and was starting to cry/scream in fear/frustration. It's definitely not an easy decision to make. It's now a year later and I have two new Yorkie puppies but I still grieve over that decision. Some days I feel guilty for not doing it sooner when he was suffering so much. Other days I feel guilty for having him put down. I made the decision I did after speaking to a vet who told me the best way to make the decision is to look at how your dog is coping, if he seems to be uncomfortable or not. I know it's difficult, I'm sorry you're being faced with making this decision thinking of you!
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