Why do I go mute at the vet / dr?

[paisleypixels]

I saw a PSA once where a lady was buying a camera and asking 10,000 questions of the sales guy and then it cuts to a scene of her sitting in the doctor's office and they ask if she has any questions and she just shakes her head no.

That is so me sometimes. Granted, at the vet this morning I'll give myself some credit as I did get out the one question/concern I had (the Vectra3D they gave me is making puppy itchy)... but the whole thing was a very one sided conversation and I feel a little embarrassed about it.

He doesn't like the food I'm feeding is a mix of kibbles I'm feeding. (the foods are good, he just doesn't understand why I'm mixing them - he wants me to use one) He doesn't like that I'm using an x-pen and training pads. He wants me to use a crate and let him run around the house with supervision. He was trembly and they were saying he needs to get more used to being handled... he's only 13 weeks old... obviously I am careful about who/when I let him get handled. SMH.

It's not that it was bad advice by any means and it really all did go very well, and maybe I'm probably having one of those emotional kind of days, but I felt SO hyper sensitive to the whole thing. It would have been nice to get some sort of compliment. I've been trying to take really good care of him and I felt a little chastised and condescended to. Le sigh. See, I told you I'm being all sensitive.

Just needed to vent! Thanks!!

[richards6402]

I don't think they have a class at vet school about bed side manner but they should. I have had very good vets but their social skills were next to nothing and then I've had vets that I didn't have a lot of faith in but they were very good at making me feel like my dogs were the most important things in the world to them. I have now selected a vet that I have good faith in and his bed side manner is so-so, just depends on how busy he is. Also, I have a list of things written down that I want answers on and he doesn't leave until all of my questions are answered. I feel proud of myself if I squeeze a question in that I didn't have written down.


It sounds like you are a concerned and responsible owner and I'm sure you are doing things correctly. You some times can have all the best advice in the world...... but if it doesn't work for you what good is it?

[ChibiLuv]

Some times animal people are not the best people people. Don't take it personally. I put a list of questions/concerns in my phone sometimes so I don't forget what I wanted to ask. Sometimes you can get off on tangents. As long as they are a good vet to your pet I would try to not feel bad, you know your a good pet parent!

[paisleypixels]

Thanks, guys! I had some caffeine and breakfast and am feeling a lot better. It was all good advice.. he just wasn't as warm and cozy as his associate vet I saw last time... plus I think I was a little hangry (hungry + angry) this morning

Feeling much better

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by paisleypixels

Thanks, guys! I had some caffeine and breakfast and am feeling a lot better. It was all good advice.. he just wasn't as warm and cozy as his associate vet I saw last time... plus I think I was a little hangry (hungry + angry) this morning

Feeling much better

LOL. Hangry!

Hang in there and take a list of questions and consider changing vets if he continues to rub you the wrong way unless he's the best of the best at what he does & then I'd hang with him no matter what.

[chattiesmom]

Bless your heart! I think that sometimes we get intimidated by certain personalities and/or positions of authority. As an adult, with kids in school, I used to be intimidated into silence when I had to meet with the PRINCIPAL! It was so scary to me to be "sent to the principal". Then I realized that it was MY kid and I needed to be there in the best interests of my child, even if it meant speaking up to the mean scary principal .

So I truly understand your situation. Vets are given very little training in nutrition, and as long as you are feeding good foods that provide 100% of the nutritional requirements, and your dog is doing well on your selected diet, I say mix away. You know what works at your house as far as house training, so do what works for you.

I would hope that the vet really means well, but he may be one of the "holier than thou" types that believes he knows all, sees all.

Glad you had breakfast and coffee and are feeling better. We all have our moments.

[Lovetodream88]

Vets are great with health care but there not training experts. What can work for a larger dog will not always work for a smaller dog. I think your doing great. Sometimes it helps to write all your questions and concerns down on paper and then take the list with you. I have anxiety and normally shut down when talking to other people but at the vets I can't be shut up lol. Are you mixing a wet and a dry food or two dry foods?

[Cat2861]

Originally Posted by paisleypixels

I saw a PSA once where a lady was buying a camera and asking 10,000 questions of the sales guy and then it cuts to a scene of her sitting in the doctor's office and they ask if she has any questions and she just shakes her head no.

That is so me sometimes. Granted, at the vet this morning I'll give myself some credit as I did get out the one question/concern I had (the Vectra3D they gave me is making puppy itchy)... but the whole thing was a very one sided conversation and I feel a little embarrassed about it.

He doesn't like the food I'm feeding is a mix of kibbles I'm feeding. (the foods are good, he just doesn't understand why I'm mixing them - he wants me to use one) He doesn't like that I'm using an x-pen and training pads. He wants me to use a crate and let him run around the house with supervision. He was trembly and they were saying he needs to get more used to being handled... he's only 13 weeks old... obviously I am careful about who/when I let him get handled. SMH.

It's not that it was bad advice by any means and it really all did go very well, and maybe I'm probably having one of those emotional kind of days, but I felt SO hyper sensitive to the whole thing. It would have been nice to get some sort of compliment. I've been trying to take really good care of him and I felt a little chastised and condescended to. Le sigh. See, I told you I'm being all sensitive.

Just needed to vent! Thanks!!

I'm glad your feeling better now that you ate! Don't take it personal...you know how there are some doctor's who do not have good bedside manners. That is one one my biggest pet peeves. I give them a second chance and if they are the same way I find another doctor. I feel like I have to be able to talk to my doctor and that they listen to what I have to say. Otherwise I sit there and get ticked off and I don't say a word which is not good either. However, it they are the best in their field then I just deal with it because I feel like I don't have a choice. Funny how life is sometimes! I'm sure you are a good mommy and will do what is right for your baby. Remy only sees his pen when I have to run errands or hubby and I go out. Other then that, I supervise him in the house. Don't get me wrong it's a lot of work because he is all over the place. I should be under 100 lbs with the way I chase him lol. If I want him to settle down, I sit him on the couch with me and he lays down but you have to do what works for you.

[R-Teddy]

I use to be like that, but then my son was diagnosed with autism and I had no choice to learn how to say what I need to say and ask questions. I also learned that sometimes you just cant worry about being polite, not when it comes to your kids.

this has followed me with my fur babies. My Shih Tzu got ONE ear infection and my vet told me I need to get the hair in his ears plucked out and was irritated because I hadnt. Well that is something that is very controversial and after doing a lot of research I have decided I do not want to do that unless it does indeed become a real problem. I know many others do and that fine, their decision, I just dont choose to myself.

So I had to tell my vet , not rudely, but firmly, I'm sorry but I have done my research and do not believe in plucking the hair in their ears unless they have a lot of problems with ear infections. ONE ear infection is not enough for me to validate doing that. So no, I wont be following that particular advice of your. (F.Y.I.) he hasnt had another ear infection sense. He got one because my daughter accidentally got water in his ear when bathing him, not because of the hair)

Fact is, just because they are vet/ professionals does not mean they are ALWAYS right. Also, what is good for one pet is not always good for all. Always do your research and listen to your own gut as well as they vets advice, THEN make a decision for what you think is best. Thats my way of thinking anyway.

[matese]

What ever I want / need to talk to my vet about, I write it down, I always have a list of questions and make sure they all get asked and all get answered, I check off each question when I get the answer. Also, If you were more comfortable with the first vet, make sure all appoints are made with only him. True a lot of vets don't have ppl skills.

[R-Teddy]

Originally Posted by matese

What ever I want / need to talk to my vet about, I write it down, I always have a list of questions and make sure they all get asked and all get answered, I check off each question when I get the answer. Also, If you were more comfortable with the first vet, make sure all appoints are made with only him. True a lot of vets don't have ppl skills.

List is a good skill. Thats what I still often have to do. otherwise I get distracted with other conversations about other questions I ask and often forget to ask some.