Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by 107barney

I don't disagree with this and I did not say it wasn't important. I said I didn't see my posting style that way. Another person on this thread (megansmomma) said they felt prayers/good thoughts were sometimes not needed and real experience is. I think she is right about that, and don't see why others want to superimpose their posting style onto others. For every person who thinks a poster is "harsh" there are 10 others who might be appreciative of the direct no-nonsense information sharing. Some of our members are very busy with many commitments and cannot ponder their words and walk on eggshells when they just need to get it posted for what it's worth. I am not all being defensive when I say I am a problem solver-- just stating a fact.

I actually felt Nana's comment was to my previous post regarding prayers and best wishes. Again I'll state my opinion is that prayers are wonderful and all. Heck there's prayer thread right now for me and my birth mom. If hoping those prayers work. At dealing with a serious illness for my birth mom and looking for straight forward answers to get her well and released from the hospital.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by 107barney

I don't disagree with this and I did not say it wasn't important. I said I didn't see my posting style that way. Another person on this thread (megansmomma) said they felt prayers/good thoughts were sometimes not needed and real experience is. I think she is right about that, and don't see why others want to superimpose their posting style onto others. For every person who thinks a poster is "harsh" there are 10 others who might be appreciative of the direct no-nonsense information sharing. Some of our members are very busy with many commitments and cannot ponder their words and walk on eggshells when they just need to get it posted for what it's worth. I am not all being defensive when I say I am a problem solver-- just stating a fact.

I get what your saying and it is very much the way I am. Im more of a problem solver than a support person. Im not sugary sweet and Im very direct. I believe theres room on this board for both and I dont think one group should knock down anothers posting style. I know if I ever had a seriously ill pup i would be hoping you or Ladyjane would be around to answer my questions as I have seen you do so many times before with other posters.

[nanahas3]

Originally Posted by megansmomma

I actually felt Nana's comment was to my previous post regarding prayers and best wishes. Again I'll state my opinion is that prayers are wonderful and all. Heck there's prayer thread right now for me and my birth mom. If hoping those prayers work. At dealing with a serious illness for my birth mom and looking for straight forward answers to get her well and released from the hospital.

Yes this is what I was referring to. I am glad we have those who work for rescues, are breeders and vet techs etc. They are invaluable. But as I said I am none of those so lots of time the only thing I have to offer are support and prayer.

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by chachi

I get what your saying and it is very much the way I am. Im more of a problem solver than a support person. Im not sugary sweet and Im very direct. I believe theres room on this board for both and I dont think one group should knock down anothers posting style. I know if I ever had a seriously ill pup i would be hoping you or Ladyjane would be around to answer my questions as I have seen you do so many times before with other posters.

Totally agree! People all have different personalities either on a forum or in real life and I believe we just all need to go about doing what we do best. I'm direct and passionate in my beliefs and convictions. I see nothing wrong with it just like I see nothing wrong with those that can only offer comfort. I'd never insist that prayers or comfort were not offered in a manner that I felt were not worded properly. So when I'm told (yes people actually have told me) my words are not to their liking it just boggles my mind. I would never expect someone to change their writing style to fit my opinion. I just state my opinion and move along. Not sure why we can't all embrace this as I have learned that it makes life a whole lot simpler. Offer what we can be it prayers, hugs, or information while not worrying so much about what someone else is doing or saying. I wouldn't think "you" would go knock on your neighbors door and make a request like that so why knock on your neighbors door on a forum? I always thought of YT being a community just like your neighborhood back in real life. Everyone doesn't need to be friends in your neighborhood, BBQ and drink beer. Just coexist and life is much more pleasant.

[gemy]

The outpouring of support for Zoey both when she went through heartworm treatment and then 6mths later her cancer treatment, was so incredible, was so very much appreciated by me.

Equally I appreciated the practical links, the answers to my question on what med for stimulating appetite, the stem cell treatments, etc, but also the prayers and standing by |me| that I felt through those months was inestimable in value.

In my mind this was Yorkie Talk at its very very best. You all knew I was fighting a big battle with Zoey and her health, and to a one you were more than supportive. You never said to me, give up, the outcome prognosis is poor, hey we all knew that it was. Instead you gave me many shoulders to lean upon as we went through this. I tear up every time I think about my lost one. I had so wanted to win that battle, but it wasn't to be.

For me the prayers and well wishes and just being there for me was of equal value at least with the practical suggestions.

I will always thank YorkieTalk and our members here for this, and will never ever forget your support.

Never ever discount the value of a hand that offers emotional support.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by megansmomma

Totally agree! People all have different personalities either on a forum or in real life and I believe we just all need to go about doing what we do best. I'm direct and passionate in my beliefs and convictions. I see nothing wrong with it just like I see nothing wrong with those that can only offer comfort. I'd never insist that prayers or comfort were not offered in a manner that I felt were not worded properly. So when I'm told (yes people actually have told me) my words are not to their liking it just boggles my mind. I would never expect someone to change their writing style to fit my opinion. I just state my opinion and move along. Not sure why we can't all embrace this as I have learned that it makes life a whole lot simpler. Offer what we can be it prayers, hugs, or information while not worrying so much about what someone else is doing or saying. I wouldn't think "you" would go knock on your neighbors door and make a request like that so why knock on your neighbors door on a forum? I always thought of YT being a community just like your neighborhood back in real life. Everyone doesn't need to be friends in your neighborhood, BBQ and drink beer. Just coexist and life is much more pleasant.

Or when your words are taking out of context for example I told someone I dont believe you and that was changed by them to say I was calling them a liar. I would not call someone a liar and if I did I would expect to be suspended but I think it is okay to say I dont believe you about something if you really dont why do you need to go along like you do. I see things like this happen all the time on here

[107barney]

Originally Posted by gemy

The outpouring of support for Zoey both when she went through heartworm treatment and then 6mths later her cancer treatment, was so incredible, was so very much appreciated by me.

Equally I appreciated the practical links, the answers to my question on what med for stimulating appetite, the stem cell treatments, etc, but also the prayers and standing by |me| that I felt through those months was inestimable in value.

In my mind this was Yorkie Talk at its very very best. You all knew I was fighting a big battle with Zoey and her health, and to a one you were more than supportive. You never said to me, give up, the outcome prognosis is poor, hey we all knew that it was. Instead you gave me many shoulders to lean upon as we went through this. I tear up every time I think about my lost one. I had so wanted to win that battle, but it wasn't to be.

For me the prayers and well wishes and just being there for me was of equal value at least with the practical suggestions.

I will always thank YorkieTalk and our members here for this, and will never ever forget your support.

Never ever discount the value of a hand that offers emotional support.

And when you did not win that battle, we all cried with you! Just because we don't all agree on every last point does not mean we do not as a community come together as a family when one of our own is hurting! As megansmomma said, it's like a neighborhood.... you may not be able to stand your neighbor or want to hang out and have BBQs together but if your neighbor needed a helping hand, you would put your disdain aside and lend the hand (or at least, you should!).

[gemy]

Originally Posted by chachi

Or when your words are taking out of context for example I told someone I dont believe you and that was changed by them to say I was calling them a liar. I would not call someone a liar and if I did I would expect to be suspended but I think it is okay to say I dont believe you about something if you really dont why do you need to go along like you do. I see things like this happen all the time on here

Chachi, I don\t believe you, means in my mind I don't think you are telling the truth about x/y or z. If you are not telling the truth then you are calling them a liar. What else does the phrase I don't believe you mean?

You could say I don't think or I am concerned that we are not hearing the whole story. Or the facts you have related seem to be in contradiction to each other and I am confused.

But I am very cautious about saying you are a Liar, or I don't believe you, two terms which are synomynous in my book.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by gemy

Chachi, I dont believe you, means in my mind I don't think you are telling the truth about x/y or z. If you are not telling the truth then you are calling them a liar. What else does the phrase I don't believe you mean?

You could say I don't think or I am concerned that we are not hearing the whole story. Or the facts you have related seem to be in contradiction to each other and I am confused.

But I am very cautious about saying you are a Liar, or I don't believe you, two terms which are synomynous in my book.

Everyone has their own way of phrasing things but I do believe you can say the simple words I dont believe you and not be calling someone a name which is what liar is

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by chachi

Everyone has their own way of phrasing things but I do believe you can say the simple words I dont believe you and not be calling someone a name which is what liar is

To me too - saying "I don't believe you" is the exact same thing as "I don't think you're telling the truth" which is the exact same thing as "you're a liar/lying". I don't understand the difference in meaning that you're pointing out...the meaning is the same, isn't it? If not, what does "I don't believe you" mean?

[lynzy420]

I can't believe this,
I can't believe you,
I don't believe you,


All phrases said daily by many...Say it aloud...I use to say it to my kids all the time....


ex: My son broke his leg for the 3rd time, I yelled at him "I don't believe you, how can you be so damn careless, you've just ruined your whole summer and mine, do you know how long that is, and I don't want to hear you complaining about being bored damn it, this is all your fault....I don't believe you, how could you, who jumps down 3 flights of stairs and thinks they are going to land without getting hurt? Do you have any common sense, I just don't believe you"


woops, flash back.

[lynzy420]

I think again, tone is often "misheard" on forums....geesh now my blood pressure is up reliving that moment, I'm going to call my 30 year old son and tell him off again....lol

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by chachi

Or when your words are taking out of context for example I told someone I dont believe you and that was changed by them to say I was calling them a liar. I would not call someone a liar and if I did I would expect to be suspended but I think it is okay to say I dont believe you about something if you really dont why do you need to go along like you do. I see things like this happen all the time on here

Words can easily be misunderstood because the written word many times cannot properly convey emotions or empathy. Each reader will take away from a post their own interpretation. Geez I misunderstood your post the other day and felt it was written about me. You cleared up the confusion and all is well. We moved on and played happily about YT. All the PMs that fly around behind the scenes complaining about the perceived tone of a members post is pretty much like gossip or tattle-tailing. I just don't have the time or energy to put that much I to what others are doing. Ya know......

[gemy]

Originally Posted by chachi

Everyone has their own way of phrasing things but I do believe you can say the simple words I dont believe you and not be calling someone a name which is what liar is

I am trying to understand your thinking here. So calling some-one a Liar, which is a noun describing a less than ideal personal characteristic, is somehow bad, because you have "named" them to be a certain thing. And perhaps name calling in your mind is a "bad" thing. Please understand I am not judging you, just trying to understand.

But saying I don't believe you, does not flow to I believe you are lying about this, I am having trouble with the logic.

I think maybe just maybe what you are saying, I will not brand you a "constant liar" but in this instance I don't believe what you are saying.

Okay I can get that.

.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

To me too - saying "I don't believe you" is the exact same thing as "I don't think you're telling the truth" which is the exact same thing as "you're a liar/lying". I don't understand the difference in meaning that you're pointing out...the meaning is the same, isn't it? If not, what does "I don't believe you" mean?

To me it isnt about them or I would call them a liar. It is about me it is something I dont believe and I could say it in lots of other contexts for example I dont believe the moon is made of cheese.