Jealousy :(

[JillianK]

Hi everyone!

I have two little yorkie babies, Maxwell is just over a year and Ruby is 7 months old. Max has always been a bit aggressive... it started when he was attacked at my kids' school by a big dog and then again a week later at a friend's house. It was a terrible week of bad luck but he has never been the same. We got Ruby about 4 months ago and Maxwell is just so jealous of her. He always has his eyes on her and if I talk to her or call her name, he runs to get to me first and works his way in front of her. If I'm sitting down with Ruby on my lap, Max will even work his way up and push her off of me. If I have food, he will growl at her and bare his teeth and not allow her to get close to me. He's gotten very aggressive and snapped at her many times over treats or toys but has seemed to get over that. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. We've tried training him.... we've even sent him away for 3 weeks of professional training. But the jealousy just hasn't seemed to go away. Help???

Ps. I'm a first time dog owner and very green. Please have patience

[kjc]

Show him attention first, feed him first, give him treats first, etc so he doesn't resent her being there, or feel like he's being snubbed. She's newer so not so used to any amount of attention and won't feel like she's missing out. I would gently correct any bad behavior by him towards her, as it could escalate and you don't want that. Let him know that growling or showing of teeth is not okay to do by interrupting it with an 'Ah, ah' or 'No'.

[JillianK]

Hmmm that's so interesting.... my trainer says to give her everything first so that he won't think he's the dominant one... she says to feed Ruby first, giver her treats first and let her walk ahead on the leash. I'm so confused, I have no idea what's right or what's going to work. I just know that he is not happy with her here and she is scared of him. Not a great way to co-exist.

[kjc]

Originally Posted by JillianK

Hmmm that's so interesting.... my trainer says to give her everything first so that he won't think he's the dominant one... she says to feed Ruby first, giver her treats first and let her walk ahead on the leash. I'm so confused, I have no idea what's right or what's going to work. I just know that he is not happy with her here and she is scared of him. Not a great way to co-exist.

Is your trainer experienced with Yorkies? They're a bit different than other dogs.

If you're doing what the trainer says, and it's not working, then try the other way. I know, it didn't make sense to me either at first. Even now when my male gets snappy, if I give him more (instead of less) attention, he is more tolerant of my other 3 dogs. At first I tried giving him less attention, and he just got worse. So against my better judgment, I put him first, and he began calming down and allowing me to interact with the other dogs.

[JillianK]

Oh good to know! Well she does seem to know about the "terrier" breeds a bit, but maybe not specifically yorkies? I'm going to give your suggestions a try! Can't make anything worse!! Thank you so much for responding!

[Magnus]

From everything I've read and heard when bringing a new dog is pretty much what kjc suggested. Unless you want the new puppy to play the dominant role, putting Max first would be the wiser choice. I'm guessing Max feels like he needs to fight and prove that he's the top dog of the two. Once they figure out who the boss is between them, I think it'll be ok. Good luck and welcome to yorkietalk!

[kjc]

You're Welcome! After he starts calming down, then you can start switching up on who's first, as it can be used to give a pup more confidence if they need it. I constantly watch how my 4 behave and interact... when one seems a bit 'down', I'll single that one out for extra special attention for a time until I see them acting right again.

Your older dog was there first, and by giving everything to the new dog first is just making him mad and he sees her as a threat to his position. Before she came, he was first, all the time. You still want a good relationship with him, so don't change the way you treat him. When he feels that you still love him, there is no threat, so no need for him to be nasty. It probably went from him being the only one, to him being treated in not as loving a way as he was used to bc of his attitude at the newbie. I found myself scolding my dog all the time, which made us both unhappy. When I made him #1 again, he was fine. I was shocked that it worked so quickly.

When we added the 4th dog, the 3rd dog did the opposite and totally withdrew. I had to show her that I still loved her just as much, so I made a point to talk to her first when I entered the room, and singled her out to sit on my lap first, and all the other things to build up her confidence. I never saw a dog so crushed and heartbroken. She was almost catatonic! But after she learned she was still very special to me, she came back out of her shell, TG. Even now, she watches how I pet the others, and if I have one on my lap, she'll sit there and watch what I'm doing till I put the dog on the floor, then she steps up and wants her turn. She is one that if she wants up, I never say no! I may say 'Wait a minute' but I never deny her if she seeks me out.

My basic rule for Yorkies is: 'If what you're doing isn't working, change it.' I try a method for 2-3 days, if I'm not getting the expected results, I try a different method. Also very important with most Yorkies is to reward 'Good' behavior. This is more important than punishing bad behavior. All dogs want to make their owners happy. Some are just confused...

Good luck and hope this works... let us know!

[The 4 M]

KJC is giving really good advice...I also have 4 babies and introducing the second was by far the more difficult, Merlin had been the only one for 6 years and suddenly he had to learn to get use to this "new girl", I done and still do feed, treat and everything in between in the order they arrived...It works for us, it just takes time for the older ones to realise they are still important and another pup is fun. Good luck

[JillianK]

Yikes I sure hope I haven't ruined their whole relationship with each other and with me. Right now it makes me so sad that they appear to dislike each other so much. Thank you so much for all your advice. It is appreciated more than you know!

[kjc]

Originally Posted by JillianK

Yikes I sure hope I haven't ruined their whole relationship with each other and with me. Right now it makes me so sad that they appear to dislike each other so much. Thank you so much for all your advice. It is appreciated more than you know!

They are also very forgiving (may hold a grudge for a few days) and resilient!

[The 4 M]

Oh don't give yourself a hard time and try not to worry...once they know you have more than enough love, treats and attention for them both they will be fine. I remember spending the first week we brought Molly home in tears thinking what have we done...fast forward 3 years they wouldn't be without each other

[kjc]

Originally Posted by The 4 M

Oh don't give yourself a hard time and try not to worry...once they know you have more than enough love, treats and attention for them both they will be fine. I remember spending the first week we brought Molly home in tears thinking what have we done...fast forward 3 years they wouldn't be without each other

Haha... been there!