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11-06-2013, 04:13 PM | #1 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | Crystal under arrest - read all about it... Tonight around 7pm a Crime of deceitful theft was alleged against 'Starlet' Crystal Yorkie. From the Old Bailey criminal court, in the heart of London's City, our reporter 'Lunchtime ó Booze' reports upon the story that has rocked the UK's canine society and left the Yorkie contingent stunned... To a hushed, crowded and shocked court Mr Quentin Cocklecarrot QC of the respected law firm Sue Grabbit and Run, opened the case for the Plaintiff 'Poor Old Dad' viz; "As your lordship pleases, following uninterrupted exclusive enjoyment of her 'Cordon Bleu' supper of 'Lilys Organic Chicken and Vegetable spelt', the accused utilised her newly acquired geography of the Kitchen's work surface. Unaided she did scale such topography and without consideration to her elderly father's needs, partook of his 500mg Co-op Strawberry Cheescake. This action was both wilfully selfish in it's intent by showing no regard for her sponsor's nutrition or needs". Lord Chief Justice Seagoon, woke briefly up to bang his gavel insisting on 'Silence in court'. He then went back to sleep. "As your lordship pleases" Mr Cocklecarrot continued, "Furthermore the accused whilst depicted in photograph 3 of your bundle m'lud, appears in a wistful stance, was shortly afterwards to be witnessed, licking her lips and demonstrating a stance of contrite satisfaction with her recent actions of supreme and consummate greed". "This is not the first time the Accused has demonstrated such largesse and disregard, where foodstuff is concerned. It is however an escalation to malignant subjective criminal planning; applied to achieve such deceitful self centered gain, contemporaneously depriving an honest and loving parent of his just dessert." At this point several female Yorkies in the canine gallery were overcome with emotion and there was a deal of barking and much reverse snorting. A short delay ensued as many had to be taken outside to recover in the leafy courtyards. Eventually the Prosecution continued; "The Accused's application for bail, should be declined and furthermore it is our case that she should be taken to a place of confinement, with only beef jerky and water as sustenance until she repents!" In her defence, the accused who represented herself, subjected a photo, taken half an hour after the alleged crime and shown here entitled as submittal 4 The Accused. The Jury after consideration of ten seconds, aquitted her almost unanimously (A West Highland Terrier Juror wanted her to receive five life sentences to run consequently to each other) and awarded all costs against her poor old dad. This ageing broken man, now sells boot laces and matches on the street outside to make ends meet! 'Lunchtime ó Booze', Reuters Old Bailey London Below are the three photo's submitted to the court viz; 1. The Alleged Crime Scene 2. The Modus Operandi of the Accused 3. The Accused shortly after the Alleged offence and lastly Crystal's sole submittal for her release! |
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11-06-2013, 04:31 PM | #2 |
♡Huey's Human♡ Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Ringgold, Ga
Posts: 3,333
| Hahaha! It was good, wasn't it, Crystal?
__________________ Huey's mom, Marilyn :When a day starts & ends with puppy kisses, I can handle anything that comes in between! |
11-06-2013, 04:36 PM | #3 |
Cedric♥Lola♥Keylo Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Gilford, NH, USA
Posts: 9,209
| heheh caught in da act!! too good for crystal to resist.
__________________ Cedric N Lola N Keylo RIP Punkee Princess |
11-06-2013, 04:56 PM | #4 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: North Ridgeville, Oh. US
Posts: 1,396
| I am rolling in the floor with tears streaming down my face. Bella is chanting " go Crystal, Go Crystal!"
__________________ Kathy & Bella |
11-06-2013, 05:24 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Umm - I beg your pardon and wish to protest! Although well worded and hysterically funny your case holds no water (or should I say strawberry cheesecake). All circumstantial evidence. Had the defendant, Ms. Crystal actually partaken of the forbidden cheesecake she would have had crumbs and strawberry goo in her facial furnishings. A Kangaroo Court at best..... |
11-06-2013, 07:14 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Northern VA
Posts: 3,192
| I say she was framed. FRAMED I tell you! |
11-06-2013, 07:20 PM | #7 | |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: Roseville, CA
Posts: 539
| Quote:
Not to throw sweet Crystal under the bus, but she does have a lovely rose shade on her beard in her first photo, exhibit 3. On another note tho, gettum' girl! Hope you enjoyed every bite
__________________ [I]Dani: Happily owned by Billi-Jane & Witten facebook/instagram/twitter @danifabulous | dogster @ dogs/1308401 | |
11-06-2013, 10:09 PM | #8 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Mesquite, TX
Posts: 2,659
| I say whoever left that chair there should be tried for aiding and abetting!!! It was a set up for the start!
__________________ "You've never learned to live until you've done something for someone for which they can never repay you."~Ralph Hall. |
11-06-2013, 10:28 PM | #9 | |
YT Addict Join Date: May 2013 Location: Saint Marys, Ga
Posts: 494
| Quote:
Cheers Quad & Gina
__________________ Assume Nothing, Question Everything, Start Thinking! RIP Megan 3/1998-5/28/2013 | |
11-07-2013, 04:35 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member | I was thinking the same thing ! LMAO
__________________ Teri . . . Galen Jameson Frazier Seraphina Luna Rosencrantz, Saber Tooth Tiger, Pussy Willow Pandora Guildenstern |
11-07-2013, 05:52 AM | #11 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: TX
Posts: 3,358
| Quote:
I think she should counter-sue for damages to her reputation, pain and suffering that she experienced during this trial.
__________________ If you think dogs can't count, put 3 biscuits in your pocket, then give him only 2. Gracie Ruth & Boo & Yogi & RIP Annie B. & Bonnie Lane | |
11-07-2013, 06:46 AM | #12 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | My thanks to you all. Thank you Girls. I was released this morning and sent home in an unmarked Police car at 6am Very cunning indeed . they thought they'd fool the press, but my paparazzi were there - oh boy were they! The old boy ran off (hobbled) with the reporters shouting - "why did you try to frame Crystal Dad, are you jealous of her"? The 'New Yorkie Times' have offered me $$$$$$$$$$$$$ to write my story and the 'Daily Bone' has offered to pay my lawyers costs to counter claim against the Old boy. Trouble is and just between us girls - I did eat his old tart thing and very yummy it was too! I pleaded my innocence by pointing out he's always leaving little treats all over the place as a game. For instance he often goes into Mom's room and hides Kibbles all over the place. How was I, a young girl of just 10 months to decide what was a game and what wasn't? I though the chair was an initiative test, a new 'level' of trial for me. The whopping great 'treat' jobbie at the top I thought was both a reward for having recently recovered from a tummy upset, whilst showing the right attitude towards anything scoffable! After all (and this was the case altered) I suggested that the amount of the exhibit I'd consumed, was miniscule in comparison to what I'd left him. Furthermore in a weight to consumption ratio, I'd been more than fair to him! The old duffer in the Red Dressing Gown on the bench with the dusty wig and hammer thingy was 'Putty in my Hands', right from the start - oh yes! He even asked for a kiss afterwards and wanted to take me for a walk - I ask you!!! Thanks for your support - all you girls out there. Currently the authorities are considering prosecuting him for dereliction of the Health and Safety Act anyway. Apparently as the chair is made of wood, isn't clockwork, doesn't speak Belgian or have a non slip cover, he's bang to rights. In addition there's no fire extinguisher in sight and under European law the walls are the wrong colour anyway. He's considering a plea bargain apparently and actually I do miss him - (especially at meal times). Got to play it smart here girls! Last edited by docmartin; 11-07-2013 at 06:50 AM. |
11-07-2013, 08:20 AM | #13 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | Hilarious.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
11-07-2013, 08:24 AM | #14 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK
Posts: 5,062
| Dear little Crystal.....take no notice of any of it....I know that one of your new dinners has cranberries in, and you thought daddy was leaving a little taster out for you. And who was that nasty mean Westie on the jury? Harry says just let him know, and he'll go track him down for you.....HE wouldn't let anybody hurt you...... Sally + Harry x |
11-07-2013, 08:30 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| I respectfully OBJECT! The hue was goldish not rose and is her lovely dark Yorkie tan face furnishings. |
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