My family is driving me crazy, food & hair

[ShowGirlLola]

They're constantly judging my decisions and fighting with me. I'm so glad I'm not having kids because I know it would be even worse.

Lola is 100% my dog, my mom helped me buy her as a very late christmas/birthday gift, but I've paid for everything else since. I'm the one she clings to and I'm the one who does 90% of the work.

They're constantly trying to over feed her, every day I have to remind them that she's 4.5lbs and the poodles were about 3x heavier, but it doesn't register.

Our main argument is about Lola's hair. She's 6 months and it's currently half way between her body and the floor. She also has a white patch on her chest and toes, so she's supposed to be a good coat grower.
It's adorable but it's getting messy looking and I don't want it to get much longer. Floor length hair is beautiful, but I don't want to deal with it, and I think it's a bad idea with all the rolling and playing she does.

My mom even used to say "what's your mean mommy doing to you?" while I was brushing Lola, until I flipped out a few times about her making grooming time negative.

Our other yorkie's had fairy long hair and they went to the groomer like ever 2 months. I can't afford that, I can't cut a straight line, and Lola doesn't tolerate being groomed very well (hence the cookies).

I want to cut her body short (not quite shaved, but pretty short) about 2x a year. My mom and grandmom acted like I suggested chopping her ear off. Then my mom went on a tailspin about how my grandmom cut her yorkie's hair short 30 years ago and the horrible at home cuts one of the yorkie's got.
I told her fine, you can learn to groom Lola or pay for the groomers, she wasn't happy with that answer.

I want to eventually groom at home, but I know my mom will never stop going on about it if I do a bad job, and I need Lola to be more tolerant before I can really try.

I need to at least get Lola's hair cut level with her body and a good bit taken off her legs, but I'm afraid it's going to grow back too soon. Her hair has already grown a lot in the 3 months I've had her.

[My lil friend]

I was 13 when I started grooming my tiny poodle,you can do this. Training you pup to accept you snipping a little here and a little there just takes time. At 6months your baby is still a baby. Start by massaging each foot every night while you are brushing. If you are lucky and your baby falls alseep,have a pair if very small scissors with round ends ready. I started by massaging Mina's foot,leg and a little combing and then slide two fingers to hold hair between body and scissors. SNIP right next to your fingers. Learning for both of you does not have to happen all at once. Mina stays groomed because I still do this. Every week ,when she is bathed, I snip off what bothers me the most. This week it may be her feet,next week her tummy or face. She is now 2 1/2 years old and very used to this. I use a #4 comb on her body,this is approx 1/2" long. By the time your baby is 18 months it should be alot easier for the both of you. Good luck!

[ShowGirlLola]

Originally Posted by My lil friend

I was 13 when I started grooming my tiny poodle,you can do this. Training you pup to accept you snipping a little here and a little there just takes time. At 6months your baby is still a baby. Start by massaging each foot every night while you are brushing. If you are lucky and your baby falls alseep,have a pair if very small scissors with round ends ready. I started by massaging Mina's foot,leg and a little combing and then slide two fingers to hold hair between body and scissors. SNIP right next to your fingers. Learning for both of you does not have to happen all at once. Mina stays groomed because I still do this. Every week ,when she is bathed, I snip off what bothers me the most. This week it may be her feet,next week her tummy or face. She is now 2 1/2 years old and very used to this. I use a #4 comb on her body,this is approx 1/2" long. By the time your baby is 18 months it should be alot easier for the both of you. Good luck!

I've been working on her with the grooming bit, I put her on the dining room table with a towel under her and give her dog cookies while I brush her.
Before I started the dog cookies she'd spend the entire time trying to bite my hands and the brush. She still freaks out if I hit a snag.

I've tried clipping her hair while she's asleep, but it doesn't work, she wakes right up. I do handle her ears and feet a lot while I'm rubbing her.
I have cut around her paws, the back of her ankle, and between her paw pads. It took over a week to get all 4 done. I've also done a sanitary cut with clippers, my grandmom held her for me while I did it.

I don't expect her to be much more tolerant of grooming at her age, which is why I want to wait until she's older until I try to fully groom her.

If I could just shave her body down it wouldn't be a problem, but they flipped out about cutting her body down to ~2".

I'm an adult and Lola is my dog, I do the grooming and it should be my decision. The problem is it's not worth hearing how horrible she looks and how mean I am for the rest of my life.

[My lil friend]

It sounds like you are moving in the right direction in the way of grooming. Im sorry that EVERYONE in your family seems to have an opinion. I groom both of my daughters poodles for them as well as my yorkie. I only get teased because Mina wears dresses,sometimes pants suits and hairbows everyday.

[ilovejoel]

I hear you I put a shirt on joel every once in a while to get him used to it and help him get over his pouting and my mom keeps taking them off thinking she's saving him
Things used to be worse with our different opinions but it has gotten better over time, we're almost on the same page

[My lil friend]

DH doesnt care,he thinks that Mina and Skittles look adorable in their clothes and will go shopping with me. The rest of the family,I just took a moment to quietly look each on in the eye and tell them nicely that their comments were not ok and were not welcome. I said that I prefered for them to respect my choices,they could roll their eyes when I wasnt looking,that this would be the only time that I would say it nicely. Some of them are even coming around.

[Magnus]

I had couple comments on "why don't you breed her?" and "let her grow out her hair." Thankfully, they weren't too push and backed off when I explained why I don't want to.

As for grooming.. I'm still not great at it but I've gotten much better. I find that one of the key to easier grooming is that you limit their space. If they have too much space, they'll want to move around more. It also helps if you have one of those grooming arm/post.

Mine keeps wanting to sit down so I put leash type thing on their belly as well to keep them from sitting. When you're doing snipping the pad hair, try bending her paw towards the back while your arm is around her body. Does that make sense?.. I'm sure you've seen it at the groomers. If not, look for it on youtube videos.

[ShowGirlLola]

My family doesn't judge the clothes, I used to dress my poodle all the time. I only dress Lola once in awhile because of her hair. My mom recently bought her a dress and coat.

They also want me to breed Lola at least once, but it isn't happening.

I'll try the arm thing, thanks. I eventually want to get a grooming arm and a smaller table for her, but it's gonna have to wait awhile.

[Anny Mendoza]

It doesn't sound nice
I'm sorry your family is driving you crazy.
At the end of the day, you will be the one caring for your little girl so what the rest say doesn't really matter.
She is your baby and you have the last word. Just do what you think is best for her

The grooming will get better. I groom both of my dogs at home and with the time it becomes easier. And every day you will learn a bit more when grooming yourself

Both of the dogs are 'mine'
Even-though I live with my BF and he sometimes feed them or takes them out. I'm the one doing everything else. So when it comes to making decisions for the dogs, I'm the one who makes them.

[kimp5]

They only do it because they know they can. Don't rise to the occasion, don't yell or get upset. Calmly tell them while you appreciate their opinions they are just that, opinions. If they feel that strongly about how you care for your dog then they should get their own, do what they feel is best for THEIR pet and you will respect their choices as you would hope they would yours. Walk away. The best way to diffuse someone is to not give them a platform. ignore ignore..

[WannaBe]

Originally Posted by ShowGirlLola

My family doesn't judge the clothes, I used to dress my poodle all the time. I only dress Lola once in awhile because of her hair. My mom recently bought her a dress and coat.

They also want me to breed Lola at least once, but it isn't happening.

I'll try the arm thing, thanks. I eventually want to get a grooming arm and a smaller table for her, but it's gonna have to wait awhile.

I have something similar to this. Amazon.com: Master Equipment Small Pet Grooming... Mine was much cheaper, maybe $40? It helped greatly with my poodle. You can teach them to stand there and let you groom them. You can use it on a counter or a table. But, I do suggest to get some kind of rubber type mat to put under the legs, keeps it more stable.
Goodluck the with family. I tell my kids to mind their own business, if I want to dress my dog I will. But, I do buy their dogs coats and sweaters in the winter, they get cold too. My daughters Chi seems to be always cold in the winter, if I could just get my daughter to leave the coat on. She burrows under the blankets and stays there.

[ShowGirlLola]

Thanks everyone

Anny Mendoza-
I don't have a problem insisting when it comes to temporary things like the food situation or the harness I picked out, they eventually get over it.
More permanent things like grooming are the problem. I would just go ahead and have her cut pretty short, but I know they won't drop it even after it's grown out.
My mom still rants at least 2x a year about her yorkie's hair being cut short 1 time 30 years ago.

kimp5-
I usually do walk away, but I can't always.
It wouldn't work with things like the food situation. They'll just go ahead and give Lola 3x as much wet food as she's supposed to, an entire piece of cheese, 2 big dog treats in one sitting, etc.
I mostly have them broken with not over feeding her or feeding her while we're eating, but not 100%.
As for the hair, see above.

WannaBe-
That's a nice grooming table, I looked and most places have it for around that price. It'll have to wait awhile though.
That's the plus side of being the mom, you can tell them to mind their own business, I can't tell my family that.