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06-06-2013, 07:48 AM | #1 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 48
| Need some advise Some of you are aware of the loss of our little boy, Buddy this past Monday. http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/sic...tting-old.html Our little girl, Holly isn't playing like she has in the past and don't know if she is lonely or just going through a stage at this time. The past year they have not interacted that much because Buddy spent 90% of his time in bed. Some people have suggested getting another puppy so that Holly will have someone to play with. Not sure if I am ready to do that because NO pet could replace my little man. Any thoughts on this? THANKS! |
Welcome Guest! | |
06-06-2013, 07:53 AM | #2 |
♥Momma's Bambino♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ca
Posts: 10,026
| How old is Holly? My childhood cat was ran over, we had her on a towel. Her sister came over and sniffed her started to meow, then she laid down right next to her. You could tell she knew something was wrong. So seeing that I do believe pets grieve… Maybe just give her some time? I think you both will need some time. Bringing in a new puppy might not be the "best" idea until you are 100 percent ok with it. You can try to take her for a nice walk, get her out of the house. Which might help-
__________________ "People with nothing to hide don't usually feel the need to say so." |
06-06-2013, 08:05 AM | #4 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 48
| Holly is a little over 4 years old. Think we are all a little loss at this time. Tired to play with Holly last night and she was in the mood so just held her while watching TV till she went to sleep. This has been a HARD week!! My wife Sherry was telling me what her co-workers suggested about getting Holly someone to play with but to tell you the truth I am not ready at this time but wanted to know what some of you thought. |
06-06-2013, 08:20 AM | #5 |
and Shelby's too Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Millbrook, AL
Posts: 7,842
| I think Holly is probably also reacting to yours and your wife's grief. And that is completely NORMAL! As time goes by and things get back to a normal routine (not saying the sadness won't be there..I still mourn the loss of my Pom from almost 7 1/2 years ago), she will start back into a normal routine, too. If she doesn't, THEN I would look into other options. Bottom line, you will know when you are ready for another. If you aren't ready now, that will just add more chaos and confusion for Holly. Take it day by day. That's all you can do. I am so very sorry for the loss of your pup. May Buddy Rest In Peace.
__________________ Terri, proud mom to Mandie & Shelby-Dale |
06-06-2013, 08:20 AM | #6 |
♥Momma's Bambino♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ca
Posts: 10,026
| I’m sorry- I know going through a loss is so hard. There is nothing you can do to help get through it any better. I think you all just need some time to grieve. I think that time is important for us, and for Holly as well. Bringing home a puppy might do the opposite you are trying to achieve. If she isn't really wanting to play with you, do you think she will want to play with a puppy? If you are not ready, I would wait on getting another puppy.. How does your wife Sherry feel about this?
__________________ "People with nothing to hide don't usually feel the need to say so." |
06-06-2013, 08:24 AM | #7 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: SW USA
Posts: 2,505
| Holly We here feel your pain, losing a pet is devastating. So sorry your Holly is sad and disoriented too at the loss of her buddy. I for one could not even think if getting a new pup when my baby went to heaven . The grief was so overwhelming I could do nothing but cry over her loss. I vowed I would never have another pet and see her go through this kind of illness again. But with time when the grieving subsided some, I started to miss having a pet and did adopt another one. It took me a year to get to this decision. How ever, some overcome their grief by adopting a new pet soon after the loss. We are all different and deal with loss in many ways. How Holly would react, you cannot tell?? But perhaps she needs time to grieve too? A hard decision, but I pray you will find peace and make the right decision for you and your family. |
06-06-2013, 08:28 AM | #9 |
I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 18,866
| Another pup will never replace Buddy. I look at it like you'd just be adding to your family, and not replacing anybody. So you add a new brother or sister, Buddy will always keep his place in your hearts. When Peek A Boo was 10 YO, my Maltese and GSD mix had both passed the prior year. He was so depressed. I noticed on one of our walks he took a strong interest in a neighbor's Yorkie. After 4 months of mourning, I had never seen his eyes light up like they did when he saw this pup. Prior to that, he just laid around all the time. I began to worry about his health, and him being so sad all the time. That's when I made the decision to add to our family. He didn't care for the first dog I got. He and Tink still battle for Alpha spot. Then I added another, Sapphire. They look like twins. Tink is light colored, Saph is black and gold, like Peek. He really tolerates her well, almost protective of her too. And he lets her get away with everything!! Then a Biewer became available, so we added her for Tink to have a friend. They are buddies now. I am glad I made the decision to add on. Peek has done a 100% turnaround and is now 16.5 YO. Still fights for attention and runs around like a puppy. He has a job now, he has to keep his harum in line! I believe it's the best decision I've ever made.
__________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity |
06-06-2013, 08:29 AM | #10 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 48
| Sherry really doesn't seem to talk about it other than what she told me about her co-working saying. She went to work the day after but yesterday she came home, she said she couldn't do any work because she kept thinking about Buddy. Last night, we didn't really talk to each other, think either of us know what to say at this point. Tues morning I put a baby picture of Buddy on my desk at home because my office is at home so I can look at the picture. In the morning I look at it and say, " I miss you my little man, and I love you". At night, I say good night and I love you. Somehow, I need to get past this and I know that time will help. |
06-06-2013, 08:51 AM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Maui, Hawaii
Posts: 7,740
| I am so sorry for your loss of Buddy. Grieving is hard, and there is no right or wrong way to do it.... you just have to navigate your way through it and know that in time it won't hurt so much. There is no way to replace a beloved pet, however, when the time is right bringing a new furry friend into your lives can bring so much joy and love, and yes companionship for your other doggie. When one of my dogs died 5 years ago, I was devastated, but immediately started looking for another one. Six weeks later, I had a new little Yorkie girl to cuddle and care for, and she really helped me out of the dark hole of depression and grieving. She also perked up my 12 yr. old Schnauzer boy, who was missing his little friend. Let your hearts continue to heal, and I hope that in time the good memories of your Buddy will be comforting and not just sad.
__________________ SANDY, MOM TO TIKI , KAYLA , KARLEE , R.I.P. MEIKA |
06-06-2013, 08:55 AM | #12 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Van Alstyne, TX
Posts: 842
| This is very hard, and there's no right or wrong way to handle it. You need to do what's best for you and your family. If you find yourselves wanting another dog, get one. If you don't feel you want another, don't get one. So many people give opinions, but the bottom line is you need to follow your heart and do what you feel is best. I will share this one story though... We had a 10 yr old cocker that had cancer real bad and we finally ended up having to put her down. That same night, my wife was so upset (has health and blood pressure issues anyway) that she ended up having a stroke. When she got out of the hospital, she could barely get around and was looking in the newspaper and found an ad for some maltese puppies. She called the number and we ended up buying one of those puppies (Lilly). To this day, we swear having Lilly helped my wife recover from her stroke. It's all about what works for you! I'm sorry for your loss! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
__________________ Maggie (RIP), Ginger (RIP), Lilly, Bella, Saleen, Bailey, Bridget |
06-06-2013, 09:04 AM | #13 |
Yorkie mom of 4 Donating YT Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: LaPlata, Md
Posts: 23,247
| I am so sorry for your loss. Even with him in bed most of the time I am sure she is wondering where he went. Some dogs grieve very bad I have been through that with one of our dogs when I was 15 or so and some just need a week or too.
__________________ Taylor My babies Joey, Penny ,Ollie & Dixie Callie Mae, you will forever be in my heart! |
06-06-2013, 09:25 AM | #14 |
♥Momma's Bambino♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ca
Posts: 10,026
| I think it is great you have a picture of Buddy on your desk. He may not be there in person, but he will always be in your heart and soul. It is an amazing bond these little ones leave on us. Just take it day by day, do what you feel comfortable with, whatever is suppose to happen will happen. We are always here for you and Sherry for support. I will be sending prayers to you and your family, praying you guys will get through this together. My deepest condolences go to you and your family. May Buddy rest in peace and live forever in your hearts.
__________________ "People with nothing to hide don't usually feel the need to say so." |
06-06-2013, 09:39 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FtWorth,TX,USA
Posts: 3,269
| I am so sorry for your loss. When Bunkey passed away suddenly,his twin brother followed me around the house all day for about 6 months. I would find him sitting right behind me while I was fixing my hair,very unusual for him,he is my DD dog. I spent many moments with him in my lap,explaining what had happened to his brother. He still comes to me for comfort but not as often. I still look at Bunkey's picture/ashes and tell him that I miss him. You and Holly both need a little time. You will know when she is in need of a new playmate and when you are ready. |
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