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12-16-2012, 06:34 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 217
| I want to be honest... Let me say in advance that I'm very straight forward... I am not judgemental although I do have my own way (although not unique...) of raising and respecting dogs. I don't expect all of you to agree with my opinions as I know I won't always agree with yours. I hope that when one comes to this site and asks for help that we have the courage to be honest. NOT RUDE, but truly honest. Being truthful and helpful doesn't not have anything to do with being impolite and unmannerful. If one cannot muster up the courage to be REAL in an online forum when annonimity is the reality and so many people seem to need so much help, I imagine there is nowhere in your real life where this kind of unadorned thruth has it's place... At least find your backbone and gallantry here for the sake of our prized and treasured DOGS. Shutting up now lol... |
Welcome Guest! | |
12-16-2012, 07:28 AM | #2 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: MN, USA
Posts: 780
| I honey, I whole-heartedly agree! Rudeness and meaness are why I have stopped going on other forums and it usually wasn't directed at me! Honesty is wonderful but you don't have to be mean about it, so many people forget that. So far, for the most part, I have seen this community as welcoming and helpful but there, of course, are those exceptions. I never mean to be flat out rude online so if I ever come across as so, please question me on it- sometimes I get excited and passionate and type too fast so what I say isn't always exactly how I mean it. I'm not alone in that, to be sure! |
12-17-2012, 04:28 AM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 217
| AngelFae, no worries...we all sometimes come across a little too blunt and don't mean to be insulting... I feel this site is very polite. I appreciate that as well and I'm sure everyone else does too... The flip side is in the desire to be liked and have many friends on this site (or perhaps sheer stupidity...for lack of a more diplomatic word, sorry in advance...) I notice some people being a little soft on those that are being less appropriate and/or handling their pups or dogs to the best interest of the dog. No one knows you here... anonymity is freeing and should give you the courage to truly speak your mind and be more forthcoming whereas some people in real life are not, as they don't like to stir things up... I'm seeing a bit of a popularity contest going on here...? I also see some comments that are not handled very well when they could have been and that makes me sad...as those same people usually seems to offer some fantastic advice. Just being honest. I'm not here to win a popularity contest... I'm here for you're experienced advice on yorkies as well as offer any training advice I can where applicable...so yea... |
12-17-2012, 06:24 AM | #4 |
Hook Em! Bevo & Mack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Texas
Posts: 3,752
| People do come here looking for help.... But sometimes, blunt honestly comes across as rude and hateful and sends those looking for help running the other direction. So, what was accomplished? I believe for some people, the responses should be soft.... Truthful, but said in a way not to make them feel horrible. I could care less if people do not know me... I treat them as I would like to be treated, human.
__________________ Kendra Bevo and Mack & grandpups Bryleigh and Jaxon |
12-17-2012, 06:56 AM | #5 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 4,289
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__________________ Alisha mommy to Guinness Stout 7 & Stella Artois 5 & Teagan 4 Guinness & Stella proud Teapot Club Members | |
12-17-2012, 06:57 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: South Florida
Posts: 8,008
| Honesty is alway best. I "honestly" feel it is the way it is presented. I don't mind or really care if someone has a different opinion then me (that is what makes the world interesting imo) but what I really REALLY HATE is when an opinion is presented as the only CORRECT opinion. Or .. the person who says "I would NEVER do......". An old saying "don't judge until you walk a mile in that person's shoes" OK... now that I have given my honest opinion, which is not different then already posted by others, I will go get some work done
__________________ Shinja mom to Remy lil Sis to Bailey and Sammy |
12-17-2012, 07:24 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Memphis, TN USA
Posts: 1,078
| Not sure what this refers to, but I wholeheartedly agree. For one, this site, for the most part, is a polite site. Some sites that I have left allow people to come in and make nasty comments. I don't need to deal with that in my web browsing. Most threads are positive, helpful and very welcoming. It's nice to find a community that shares your interest and presents itself in a positive light. |
12-17-2012, 07:43 AM | #8 |
♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas
Posts: 22,140
| A lot of people cannot tell the difference between honesty and rudeness in the typed word so I find that couching the wording in softer tones really helps the reader accept it in the spirit it was offered. If I just say what I mean to say in a few blunt words, a lot of it would probably come across in cold print as perhaps a little rude. And if an emotional reader, at wits end or scared about their little dog is on this site and reads anything too plainly or bluntly stated, their defenses often rush to the fore and they don't often even really consider the opinion or advice offered. You can tell that by reading good advice bluntly offered about what should be done or should have been done and then a reply from OP complaining of rudeness right after. Usually they don't even mention the good advice given, just address the advice- or opinion-giver for their rudeness. So, together with honesty, consider how it will sound to the reader. That is not to say we should coddle an owner/guardian of a sick, injured, abused or neglected dog by cooing sweet nothings to them but considering whether or not one really wants to communicate with that person or "make a statement" that might make us feel good to say and hit submit reply is usually good to do before posting. If you really want a person to hear your words, being honest in a firm but kind way seems to work out better in the long run for the good of the animals we're all so concerned about as we have to go through their stewards in order to help them.
__________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |
12-17-2012, 08:34 AM | #9 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: NY
Posts: 6,582
| Some people want advice, some people just want to vent. Blunt can easily be taken as rude especially on a forum. You don't have to agree with everything people say but you don't have to be caustic about disagreeing either. There are about as many different opinions about training a dog as there are owners. What works for some may not suit the personality or lifestyle of someone else. People give advice, people have opinions, take the good and pass on the bad. |
12-17-2012, 02:33 PM | #10 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: UK
Posts: 71
| As a new person to this site (posting wise - I've actually been reading for a long time) I find the information and most posters really helpful. Sometimes bluntness is useful but the written word can make it come across as really nasty. What I would say however, is that posts refering to forum politics (on any forum) without reference to the particular post or poster they are taking about, are THE most off putting posts ever. They really drive new people like me away. I'd rather see the instance of overly blunt posting happen than the starting of new threads just to yap about others. Yup, I'm a newbie and probably should say that but I just want to be honest. |
12-17-2012, 03:01 PM | #11 |
♥Love My Snuggle Bugs♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,290
| I honestly feel there is a difference in bluntness and being downright mean. I personally would rather someone be blunt and easy to understand with me whether it hurts my feelings a little or not than to cloak it all in kindness so much that its hard to ferret it all out. I am a firm believer in treating others as I would like to be treated but I like all of you am human and have my faults. There are some new people who come here and it seems they really don't want advise, they just want a pat on the back and someone to agree with their practices. When it comes to yorkies or any other breed that we join a forum on I think we also need to know that people feel very strongly about their babies or they would not be members here. I have posted before on this same topic and I do agree with politeness and above all honesty. I think just as in real life there are going to be those who push our buttons a little more than others.
__________________ CharleneMama to Laddy and Kyra and Always in our hearts Lolita |
12-17-2012, 03:51 PM | #12 |
www.yorkierescue.com Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Las Vegas & Orange County
Posts: 17,408
| I've seen plenty of times that advice had been given in a nice even candy coated manner but the OP still got offended bc it wasn't what they wanted to hear. Some people are just looking for justification of their actions and in no way were actually seeking advice. Even stuff not even pertaining to dogs. They post something and ask for "advice" and when some constructive criticism is given they get their feelings hurt.
__________________ The T.U.B. Pack! Toto, Uni, & Bindi RIP Lord Scrappington Montgomery McLimpybottom aka El Lenguo the Handicapped Ninja 10-12-12 |
12-17-2012, 11:53 PM | #13 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 4,289
| You asked for honest but I was going to stay quiet and be nice NOW after reading more of your expert training knowledge, and how we humans are the alpha and our dogs are below us with no emotions or morals (FYI you might want to research that some more) I am just wondering where this thread came from because it's like you are trying to force what you believe to be right or wrong onto others and now whining like a child because people do not agree with your "knowledge" so you don't feel like you fit in with the "cool kids" (BTW I did not know this forum was Jr High School) Half the replies I see from your come across so rude at times and you keep going on about how truthful and straightforward you are in one breath but the next go into the nobody knows us here and we have anonymity blah blah blah (If you have the guts to be yourself and speak your mind then why are hung up on the anonymity of being on the Internet?) We all love our pets dearly on here and all have different views of how to train or raise our fur children so just because what works for YOU does not mean you have to force your thoughts own others because as we all know what works for one yorkie might not work for another!!
__________________ Alisha mommy to Guinness Stout 7 & Stella Artois 5 & Teagan 4 Guinness & Stella proud Teapot Club Members |
12-17-2012, 11:56 PM | #14 |
Between♥Suspensions Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Vaissades
Posts: 7,979
| I don't get it...what's the point?
__________________ Shan & 8 kids now! |
12-18-2012, 03:52 AM | #15 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 217
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