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04-06-2012, 06:50 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: South Florida
Posts: 8,008
| Letter to Dogs and Cats This is an Oldie but Goodie... it was posted on yt about a year ago. I emailed to my dd and was cleaning out my mail box and read it... laughed till I cried so thought I would repost. I think it was posted by GATOR the first time. enjoy! Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog's or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals.. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .....
__________________ Shinja mom to Remy lil Sis to Bailey and Sammy |
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04-06-2012, 09:34 AM | #2 |
♥Luv my Trixie Belle♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 3,010
| You made my day!! Thanks for posting!!
__________________ RIP Biscuit My heart belongs to Trixie |
04-06-2012, 09:47 AM | #3 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: NY
Posts: 6,582
| Oh, my! Sounds exactly like my place. You can't buy a bed big enough when all the critters decide they need to sleep right against you though I have found that they do spread out more as the temperatures rise! Pets can be a lot of work but they are so sweet and innocent unlike some others we may know. |
04-06-2012, 08:02 PM | #4 |
I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 18,865
| Hahaha! Thanks for posting this...
__________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity |
04-06-2012, 08:28 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: FL, USA
Posts: 2,767
| I have loved this since I first saw it years ago. I could have written it myself from my own experiences. lol Thank you for posting it again.
__________________ - Cat Brody Mia BriaStormy |
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